You are now Hitler.

You wake up in Hitler's body on September 2nd 1939. What do you do?

 

Continue the invasion of Poland, invade France as scheduled, then ignore Britain and race for nukes.

Unfuck domestic policy as well, prevent the holocaust and make full use of our populace for the war effort, and go full war economy, and unfuck the intelligence agencies and fix the inefficient infighting.

Get a German T-34 ready for before we invade the USSR.

Don't declare war on the US, and warn Japan not to attack the US or else.

 

I would like to think that I will at least manage to not turn my new name into a curse word hated across the world seventy years later. As I am also not possibly insane/on drugs, I will also likely do a better job of leading germany. Enough that while conquring the world might be impossible, taking Poland and parts of Europe and then holding them should be possible.

Also, this mass slaughter of people is just inefficient. While it would be unlikely I would be able to change it entirely because of the entire power structure was built on the idea of them being inferior, it might be possible to get it down to 'just' slave labor without getting assassinated in my sleep.

Well treated slaves work better than starving ones do.


That's about the best i would be able to do with the situation if I planned to survive it. If not... well, getting the entire nazi leadership blown up and then surrendering to Poland could work.

 

Change mustache style. Maybe handlebar.

 

I have a physics degree and I think that I could make some major contributions to the Nazi effort to develop the nuclear bomb. While the physics involved will no doubt be irritated that the Fuhrer thinks he's an expert on everything including nuclear weapons, in this case they might be surprised.

I think, like Cloak& Dagger, I would continue the conquest of Poland and France while warning Japan not to attack the USA. Afterwards, I would hope to come to some kind of ceasefire with Britain before reexamining plans for the USSR.

If I do invade the USSR, I will do so with an entirely different mindset. Instead of the Russians being untnrmenchen that we plan on displacing, they will be our brothers and sisters that we are liberating from Communism. So we'll make a big effort to treat the civilians and POW's well, bring food for starving civilians, etc. Not sure if I can win the hearts and minds of Russians this way, but the various Eastern European nations under threat or occupation by the Soviets might be impressed.

 

Surrender. Then call a meeting with my top officials and bring a bomb.

Seriously guys even without the Holocaust WW2 is still going to be bloody.

 

Luger. Forehead. Fire.

That works too.

 

I resign and become known as Hitler, that peaceful artist dude.

 

Tell Mussolini to get his own gimmick.

That way when Italy get humiliated in Greece and North Africa, I don't have to waste divisions and logistics bailing him out. I also don't have to bother invading Yugoslavia. Waste of time, materiel and effort that business.

But yeah, in vague order:

- Invade Poland as normal.
- Invade Denmark, Norway, Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg and France as normal.
- Use Luftwaffe for interdicting channel shipping and coastal defense only. Call Göring a drugged up spastic and refuse to switch to area bombardment of British cities.
- Invade Turkey with the help of muh Bulgarian pals.
- Two pronged invasion of the Soviet Union starts in April 1941, only this time I'm attacking up through the Caucasus aswell as from Poland.

Stalingrad falls in the summer of '41 and Moscow in september. Due to being actually supplied with this in mind, use winter to regroup and consolidate.

- Denounce the Japanese after Pearl Harbor, offer aid and support to my 'Merkin friends.

Spring/summer of 1942, push deeper into the heartland: Omsk, Sverdlovsk, etc.

 

I invite everyone of any note in the German Government and Military to a massive party. Once everyone's Drunk and/our having a good time. I have them all murdered, then i shoot myself in the head. Ensuring that the biggest and most destructive war in history is stopped.

 

I probably end up being quietly replaced or made a puppet to one of the other major figures in the Nazi Party as I have no idea what I'm doing. That's if I don't have a mental breakdown considering that I've been thrown in the past never to see anyone I know ever again in the body of one of the most hated men alive and any significant change that I make will most likely result in my future never existing meaning I killed them. Most likely this goes the same for everyone else in the thread as well since we don't have SB competence.

 

The Fuhrer is soon taken to a mental hospital after he starts speaking English and claims to be a different person from the future in it, as I don't have a clue how to speak German.

 

Try and shut down holocaust tell them I wanted to a glass of juice when pressed.

 

Take poland as expected. Beat the french army as an act of self defence and withdraw ((after busting up their bridges and rails of course)) and 'potentially' get myself ceasefire with them as a result. make no further moves aggainst anyone and attempt to defuse the war with the british. Don't invade anyone else period

to do list:

• Invent stuff.
• Make all sorts of accurate predictions about the future of the world that will surly make me be seen as one of the most brillient men in the history of ever.
• keep doing the discrimination stuff but don't halocaust, nazi germany is still nazi germany that sort of thing will phase out on its own.

Germany ends up in a much stronger position then if the war actually runs the course.
your delusional if you think anything you can change will allow germany to win the war.

 

host banquet for Nazi High Command.

it's all poisoned.

it was a trap the whole fucking time, i intended to get the Country's most vile and evil men all killed in one night. or atleast i'll play it that way, they don't need to know the horrible truth.

 

1: Hotties

2: Swap the Chaplin for a Fu Manchu.

3: Apologize to Poland, stop the war, and work for peace with the European powers.

4: Try to change the prevailing ideology to something more positive and constructive.

5: Put men on the moon in the 50s.

 

At the end 1939, any sort of attempt to fix anything in a way that doesn't involve literal self-sabotage is going to require incredible levels of major backpedal.

But I pull out of Poland, drop the 'Hey, you know who sucks? Jews.' from my public platform, and try and DEFLECT DEFLECT DEFLECT to try and get the rest of Western Europe to get mad at the communists instead. Forget the Jews,; double down on anti-commie rhetoric and build up my warmachine to face the Soviets instead of trying to fight BASICALLY EVERYONE.