I want to clarify (I also edited my comment, not sure if you saw it too soon), I think I can, but the benefit outweighs the cost (from my POV) so I don't try. But sometimes the current lack of benefit is rather taxing.

I guess I just wish women weren't so selective. I don't see myself getting someone who I'd consider "on par" with me. Sure I can improve myself and behave more attractively, but the women I could pick up would still be "below" me, unless I got to the point where I'd be considered generally attractive by most women (and you're right here, I don't think I can reach that potential).

I think (with no professional knowledge) that it comes from a total lack of any self confidence and identity. Being a depressed loner is a bad identity, but it is one. Overcoming your issues means having to find an identity in something else, and your total void of self confidence stops you from believing that you will ever be able to do that, because why would you? You have nothing to offer (you think). So you revert back to being a total mess of a person. A shitty identity is better than none at all. I can relate, I was like that for a while.