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I have somehow found a seemingly loving girlfriend. Should I still be wary? (self.asktrp)

Takedis2dgrave が 投稿

A bit of background. I am 22,she's 19. Since my teens I've had social anxiety and issues with girls. I'm pretty inexperienced. I've dated 2 girls casually before I got dumped. My issues have gotten better and looking back, I made a lot of mistakes. I've tried to be a nice guy, paid for girls stuff, got clingy etc etc. Sone of it was pretty cringe worthy tbh. All I wanted was a girlfriend who loved me.

This past year, I stopped caring about girls after so many negative experiences, even with Tinder and partly due to depression. I started becoming more selfish and stopped caring how others, especially girls, viewed me.

I have always been interested in red pill stuff, but kind of swayed away from a lot of it because I find a lot of it to be quite hateful (not all).

Fast forward to Election day 2016. This girl from work follows me on Instagram. I DM her and we start talking. I've noticed this girl before, but we never talked. She's really quiet and tried to say hi a couple times before, but I just ignored her. She makes it clear that she likes me, subtly. This girl is pretty hot but I never paid much attention to her before.

We get to know each other and a month later, we're a couple. We got close really fast. She's a virgin, has very very few friends and is a shy, reserved type of girl, just the one I've been looking for all my life. She's clingy at times and I'm her first boyfriend. She understands me and I understand her. Everyday she makes it clear that she likes me a lot. She said that Before meeting me, she was very lonely and I make her happy and she likes me for who I am. It truly seems genuine, and I know this from dealing with and observing lots of shitty girls.

I finally opened up to her after trying to resist. I kinda went emotional on her, but she really appreciated it and it brought us closer.

I am asking Trp for advice, because at the end of the day, I'm still inexperienced. I have met a girl who I adore and love being around, she feels mutual and we share such similar experiences and personalities. However I know how fast girls can cheat or change and this thought lingers at the back of my head and brings me worry.

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[–]lietruth 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (3子コメント)

This one woman is into you, & it sounds like she's pretty chill. Great. If you're into her, then pursue her. Despite what other circumstance arises or what anyone else thinks here. Just do you. Set the frame.

Yes she is a woman, and although she may seem like she has a halo on her head, she's a creature of hypergamy. Be cognizant of that.

Best advice I can give you for an LTR is always hold frame. If she hasn't tested you yet, she will when you least expect it. Don't ever let your guard down.

[–]Takedis2dgrave[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

What is holding frame?

[–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Read.

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

[–]lietruth 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Take a picture and hold it in your hand. Holding frame.

TRP search function.

[–]amekooky 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

hold and frame AND please continue talking to other women, she needs to know that you have plenty of options. its a self respect thing in my opinion.

[–]Eternasphere 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

The fact that she's a shy virgin gives you a great deal of power. That's why religions frequently require virginity in women. People in their first relationship are very naive, and will fail to acknowledge problems because they want everything to be perfect. Easy to control and maintain frame.

Considering you have social anxiety, she probably has it worse so it won't even be much of a problem.

Since this is her first relationship I won't even say hypergamy is much of an issue at all. Have fun with her. And I never really encourage spinning plates when a guy is happy and in control in his relationship. Keep her bro, but remember, she's not yours, it's just your turn

[–]amekooky 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

the sad thing is, this kid will unlikely listen to the "shes not yours, its just your turn" advice until its to late.

[–]Eternasphere 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

He seems very young - I hope at least when things get awry, he remembers these words, and it should help him keep his cool. Got forbid he slips into blue pill mindset, her virginity fog might then lift and her female hypergamous nature will be activated.

[–]jb_trp 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You've been dating a month. Of course things are wonderful. But things do change over time.

Keep working on yourself. Keep improving yourself. Don't expect this girl to be around forever... Although she might stick around for a while.

You're really young and are likely still figuring out life. That's okay. Date this girl, you will make mistakes (everybody does), but just be sure to learn from them.

Oh, and she's not perfect. No matter how much you like her, she's just a human being, flaws and all, and every human being has the potential to do both good and bad things.

[–]ScottishIslander [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

You need to know two things

1 - TRP does not have ALL the answers when it comes to women. If you blindly apply TRP rules to every girl without considering the personality of the girl you will likely be unsuccessful.

2 - You are young, and she is really young. As life goes on people change. She is shy and introverted now but experience will change her. If she is attractive, she will get attention easily from other men and realize that she has power and options. If you aren't doing a good job consistently her eyes will start to wander.

Also:

Get a good career. Hit the gym. Dress well no matter where you go. Command respect and protect your reputation.

The last one is especially important. If she throws a tantrum (especially when she thinks you did something that you didn't) don't appease her. You need to punish her for acting out by withdrawing your attention. If you don't do this, it will just snowball until it is completely out of control.

[–]Snooze212 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Like most people have said, it's the honeymoon phase kiddo. It won't be this way all the time, it will get worse. How worse it gets depends on you and your frame. She will suddenly flip one day, and that will be your first argument, how you handle it and the rest of them determines how long you keep her.

You also need to be gaming other women. Yeah don't cheat, but keep your tongue sharp.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

She's clingy at times

That's a good thing. It says she fears to lose you. Tease her for it, but otherwise reward that behavior.

Follow the 2:3rds rule.

However I know how fast girls can cheat or change and this thought lingers at the back of my head and brings me worry.

You mean, self-doubt. This is a major belief problem. Scarcity mentality.

What would you do if she did?

You'd get mad, kick her ass out, get over it after a week or two and move on. That's what you'd do. You'd handle it. Don't sell yourself short by fantasizing that you can't.

Visualize this. Her cheating isn't going put your life to a screeching halt, you believe it somehow will, but it won't. It's not going to stop your career or stop you enjoying your hobbies. It's not going to affect your family or destroy your friend group. It's not somehow about your as a person. After all she's just a woman. Women are sometimes opportunistic and there's nothing wrong with that. There's are millions more where she came from.

[–]Sweedie -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't think TRP is going to help you here. It sounds like you have a great girl who can be a friend to you as well as a girlfriend. Going out of your way to act alpha probably won't be beneficial and if anything, it could sabotage the relationship. Given she's shy and inexperienced, you run the risk of her retreating into herself. A little cynicism can be healthy in terms of self-preservation, but sometimes you just have to just take things at face value.

[–]Plan_of_Action -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"I found a seemingly loving Venus fly trap. Should I be wary?"