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People who have issues with public breastfeeding, what's the deal? [Serious]serious replies only (self.AskReddit)

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[–]BitcoinPatriot 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I don't think I have an "issue" with breastfeeding, however, I think that is generally speaking a private event so being somewhat discrete is certainly appropriate.

Just like affection is a great thing but that doesn't mean two people french kiss on a subway platform. Simply be somewhat discrete when in public and whatever you like in private.

So for breastfeeding try to be at least somewhat considerate for those who might be a little uncomfortable and breastfeed off to the side, cover somewhat with a towel, etc. Don't just flip the breasts out in the middle of a diner and scream that it is natural. Yes it is natural but so is sex, showing affection, and relieving oneself. So simply be considerate of others and not try to draw unnecessary attention.

[–]JConsy [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I completely agree. I have no problem with it if it is discrete. But yea the thunder-feminists who purposefully draw attention to themselves are assholes. Listen lady you dont want to see my gross nipple and I dont want to see your gross nipple. Cover up a little, and ill pretend I dont see and we can go about our day

[–]TacoMeatFromHell 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I only have an issue if the kid is old enough to walk up and ask for it.

[–]IndigoFerrari [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

do you mean verbally? my kid can walk, and he'll pull my wife's shirt down when he is thirsty. he's like 14 months

[–]s_wipe 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

i personally dont really care, but like , i can understand the taboo surrounding it... not only breasts considered a sexual organ, and having a tit out in public (even if its for feeding) is something that alot of sexually closed people will have trouble with. it also produces bodily fluids, which are also somewhat of a taboo... be it pee, semen, spit, vomit, snot,milk or blood... people are turned off and freaked out alot of times by fluids the body produces naturally.

[–]Phreakophil [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Is public breastfeeding a topic of interest in the US right now?

[–]constantino1 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

not much of an issue, but they may have flipped the switch in their mind about whats sexual or not, but I havent, and when boobs make an appearance in a restaurant, I find it hard not to stare.

[–]allisslothed [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Gotta play some peak-a-boo(b)

[–]DrugsMcSauce [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

I think thats kind of the issue though- they're trying to normalize it so its not weird or abnormal and you won't find it hard not to stare! Its literally what boobs are actually for. Because I'm all for it but I feel the same way (and Im a woman) I feel like Im trying not to look at your boob rather than look you in the eye

[–]tommyjz2 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

It must be much more normalised here in the U.K. Or at least where I live. (I'm a male American expat)

Most cafes have women breastfeeding and no one even notices. I don't find it difficult to keep eye contact when talking to a women who is.

[–]koofdakeefsta 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

there's a difference between breastfeeding in public and making a public spectacle of yourself while breastfeeding

[–]effieokay [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

The answers in this thread are going to end up all over the internet as proof that people need more education about breastfeeding. :/

[–]ezra_sinclair [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

It almost always involves a baby. I know it's like, an ignorant expectation on my part, but every time I see someone with a baby I'm like "noooooo, why did you bring a baby here? They're the worst." Also it's not like I'm someone who goes to the grocery store and church and shit, if me and your baby are in the same room you definitely fucked up and brought your baby somewhere they should not be.

I always assumed that everyone else was like me and was using breast feeding as a safe way to voice baby hate.

[–]Loktharion 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I'll be honest, because it's gross. I don't want to see a little human with nasty human milk bubbles all over it's mouth. You chose to have a kid and it's your responsibility to deal with it, don't gross other people out.

Since I'm sure I will get hate, let me be clear. I hate babies, nothing about them is pleasant or "cute". It's probably the meanest thing about me but yeah, all babies disgust me.

[–]allisslothed [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

So your problem with it is not the exposed tit, but the tiny human. I love it, never heard this side of the argument before haha

[–]Loktharion [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

For sure, I love tits! I like to pretend they are laser turrets and I'm taking out invading space ships. Babies are useless when defending the earth though.

[–]DrugsMcSauce [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Here is a trashy non-scientific article on why some people think babies are gross! I think babies are creepy, but snub nosed things are cute, personally.

[–]jaysjami [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Honestly, you're gross. Can you please remove yourself from public so no one ever has to see you again? Or at least put a blanket over your head. You're nauseating.

[–]somnodoc -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (21子コメント)

I only have a problem with women who breastfeed in public areas and make no attempt to cover themselves. Especially if that public area is a seated area.

My problem is simple. If I can't get away with not wearing a shirt in public and that hot girl sitting over there can't get away with waving her tits around for all to see, then you sure as fuck shouldn't either.

Yes, yes, breastfeeding is natural and I'm 100% behind breastfeeding for the WHO recommended 24 months. That's completely irrelevant to your ability as a human being to make some kind of an attempt to cover yourself.

[–]FloralBison 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (12子コメント)

Yeah but consider this: breast feeding is in no way the same as simply "being shirtless" because it's serving a completely legitimate and necessary purpose. The simple fact that there is a baby latched on to the breast makes it a completely different thing.

[–]effieokay 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's incredibly difficult to cover them and still make sure that the baby is doing okay and that nothing is wrong. Unless you cover your head too and that's stupid and dangerous.

[–]somnodoc -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (10子コメント)

I'm hot. Not wearing a shirt would make me cooler. Oh look now not wearing a shirt has a legitimate purpose too.

You can feed the baby AND cover up, they aren't mutually exclusive.

[–]FloralBison [スコア非表示]  (9子コメント)

Yes however "I'm uncomfortable from the heat" isn't the same as "this baby has to eat and cannot feed itself".

You're describing an inconvenience, I'm describing a necessity.

[–]somnodoc [スコア非表示]  (8子コメント)

If I have heat stroke I assure you that getting cooler is very much a necessity.

Again, it is not a necessity to expose yourself in order to breastfeed. At all. Not even a little bit.

[–]FloralBison [スコア非表示]  (7子コメント)

If you're about to be a heat casualty, I guarantee simply removing your shirt isn't going to change things. You're being a bit irrational, and trying to reach too far to make a point. Look I don't care if other people take their shirts off in public, all I am trying to say is that comparing public breastfeeding to "anyone just exposing themselves" is a false equivalence, and therefore a poor argument.

[–]somnodoc [スコア非表示]  (6子コメント)

Except it isn't a false equivalence because there is absolutely no reason for a breastfeeding woman to expose herself. She can breastfeed perfectly well without exposing any part of herself to the world.

[–]deird [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

How?

My daughter needs to be able to reach my nipple. I need to be able to see my daughter and my nipple, so that I can help latch her on properly. Otherwise, she won't latch on properly, and instead of feeding my daughter, I will be spraying milk all over the floor.

The only way I can feed my daughter without (briefly) exposing my bare nipple to the world is to put a blanket over my entire body, head included, which would be very difficult, draw way too much attention, and involve me carrying a full-size blanket around with me.

[–]effieokay [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

I'm sorry have you tried breast-feeding? Because you sound like an absolute idiot right now. Like an honest-to-god moron. It's kind of miraculous. Go hold a baby doll up to your nipple and watch it for 10 minutes without exposing yourself. And support the head, fuckface.

[–]somnodoc [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

You don't have to watch the baby feed lmao

Plenty of women manage to stay covered the entire time, you can too if you learn how to do it right.

[–]Griffinp01 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

But the nipple Is usually completely covered by the babies mouth and head.

[–]somnodoc -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't remember mentioning nipples..

[–]GrandNegusRom 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Should men also cover their nipples?

[–]somnodoc -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (4子コメント)

It is indecent exposure where I am for anyone, male or female to walk around without a shirt outside of exempt areas such as pools and beaches.

So to answer your question... Yes?

[–]GrandNegusRom -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Even at a beach or a pool?

[–]somnodoc -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Read what I wrote again... /Facepalm

[–]GrandNegusRom [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

I read what you wrote, what I meant was; presumably you would want women to cover up at the beach or pool so why not guys?

[–]somnodoc [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

You misunderstand, it's legal for everyone at those exempt places.

[–]effieokay [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

Women should be able to breastfeed whenever and wherever. I don't care if they're getting sworn in as president or sitting in the middle of the mall or walking through the grocery store. They shouldn't have to cover themselves or go to a nasty bathroom or be ashamed or worry about what you think for a single second. If you don't like it then leave. If it's making you stare then grow up.

Sorry if you disagree. Fortunately people who have a hangup about breastfeeding are placed in charge of things with rapidly decreasing frequency.

[–]edymondo [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

I know that to some extent it's hyerbole, but if we take the example of being sworn in as president, or even any other place where you have to be seen, is it not wrong to therefore say that someone should leave because it makes them uncomfortable, yet be in a position where they can't really? Now take that to its logical conclusion, you're on a date, some cafe somewhere. A woman pulls her breasts out to start feeding. You know have to choose between leaving a perfectly pleasant date, and being uncomfortable. Either way it's ruined. Breastfeeding is by no means a major problem for most people, but does it not make more sense to have placed where it's accepted and where it isn't? A bench in the corner of a park could be fine for example, while a cafe could not. It limits what the mother can do, but not dramatically, and it doesn't them hinder people majorly.

[–]effieokay [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

I highly recommend instead that there be a little room where sensitive people can go if someone starts breastfeeding and it interferes with your space space. Women should not have to leave the table to feed their baby. The end. Fuck off.

[–]edymondo [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I'm just trying to find out the reasoning here. Not everyone is well adjusted, they may find it uncomfortable. Its not like this is just one person in a million, there are plenty of people who feel like that. On the other hand, a mother chooses to have a baby. People don't choose to feel uncomfortable, the mother chooses to have a baby. As such I cant see why the mother is the one who gets their way. I'm looking for some reasoning that you can explain further than just 'because fuck you, that's why.'. If you want to get your point across, making people hostile is the complete opposite to your goal.

[–]VonRatchet [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I have zero problem with it.

That said - a few weeks ago I was eating lunch in the mall at the food court and a woman just pulled up her shirt and let a boob fly - full tit. I mean it was just there. I'm just chowing down on a burrito.

She just had it hanging there for a good few minutes while having a few bites of salad before she started feeding the baby.

¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–]merp_merp_ [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Ew

[–]SheaRVA 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think there are places where it's fine and places where it's not.

On a bench in the mall? Sure. While you're eating your dinner? Sure.

In a crowd of 250 people trying to look at the Mona Lisa while you're attempting to feed your 4-year-old child from your gigantic boobs? Probably not.

[–]421traveller [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

It is bad manners to do things in a public place that may make other people uncomfortable - for example, picking your nose, farting or spitting. All totally natural but not many of us want to share the experience with you.

[–]anonymouskt -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (11子コメント)

What is the deal with not pumping, and putting the milk in a damn bottle for when you go out in public????????????

[–]carpetedman [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I'm going to assume you have no experience whatsoever in this area, so let me explain.

As a father of three children who all breastfed, I was directly responsible for transitioning my kids from nursing to a bottle in preparation for my wife going to work. It was extremely difficult in all cases and took about a week. There are lots of tears as your hungry baby screams in frustration that he/she isn't being fed and doesn't understand how to drink from this new device you're trying to jam in his mouth.

I know some people have a lot easier time than we did, but it's definitely not as simple as just pumping into a bottle. If you're fortunate enough not to ever need to use a bottle, then it's often best not to bother with them and skip straight to sippy cups.

[–]SheaRVA 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Some people struggle with pumping.

Some kids struggle with the bottle.

[–]anonymouskt -4 ポイント-3 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Some people struggle with seeing public breastfeeding. Some people don't. No one wins.

[–]SheaRVA 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was just answering your question, not saying that everyone should get over it.

[–]FloralBison 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Honest question though: how do you actually struggle with seeing that? In what way is it causing you physical or justifiable emotional harm to witness breast feeding in public?

[–]anonymouskt [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

No, I honestly do not care. I was just wondering.

[–]deird [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

It took me a week to pump a single-feed-sized bottle. Then my son flatly refused to use it and shrieked in terror and rage until I fed him normally.

Not going to happen.

[–]effieokay 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pumping sucks if your baby is used to breastfeeding. It can cause them to not want to breastfeed because bottles are way easier. Or you get the opposite problem and baby doesn't know what to do with a bottle. Pumping doesn't work the breast as aggressively and milk supply can permanently decrease. Plus you'll still have breastmilk leaking on time while you're at the mall or whatever, whether your baby has a bottle or not.

I can understand people not knowing these things because I didn't know it until I had a baby. But the problem is a lot of the time the people passing judgment are the same ones who don't know all this. That's just not good practice.

[–]alliecat207 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Some babies won't take a bottle. They want the boobie.

[–]DiceDemi 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Babies aren't always too fond of switching from nipple to bottle and back. It's generally recommended to pick one and stick with it.

[–]farwall -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, given you have explained what the problem with public breastfeeding is, there's no need to do all that, is there?

[–]poopiks17 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I get it, but put what you are doing on hold and do it somewhere a little more private, not in the middle of your shopping as I go up and ask you if you need help and you happen to be not very attractive to me and your tit, baby and yourself are just staring at me.

[–]4_jacks -4 ポイント-3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I clip my nails in my cubical and all of Reddit calls me a monster.

This bish is whipping out her boobies all over the place and jamming then in little jimmy's mouth, and ohhhhhhh that's so natural! Oooohhh it's wonderful.

[–]GrandNegusRom 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I clip my nails in my cubical and all of Reddit calls me a monster.

What?

[–]sietemeles -5 ポイント-4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just had my lunch - Ewww !

[–]merp_merp_ -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

is it really difficult to not do that in public?

[–]eugenesbluegenes [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Is this a serious question? I really wonder how clueless about the world so many people are. Then I remember half the folks commenting here are fifteen years old.

[–]deird [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Yes. It is.

I am responsible for shopping, cooking, and taking my (toddler) son to his activities. Ergo, I have to be in public.

I am responsible for keeping my baby daughter alive. Ergo, I have to feed her.

She has no sense of convenient timing. Ergo, she will sometimes ask for a feed when I'm in public.

In those circumstances, I can (a) feed her, or (b) not feed her. Feeding her takes about ten minutes, and ends up with a contented, sleepy baby. Not feeding her takes the whole rest of the time I spend in public, will involve her crying louder and louder and eventually screaming, and ends with my tshirt sopping wet from leaking milk (and, if it takes long enough, the floor getting milky too).

I'm always going to pick option a.