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We could show you Scott Pruitt's face. But this is his true essence.
We could show you Scott Pruitt’s face. But this is his true essence.

Sure, we’ve already described the nascent Trump administration as a Lovecraftian horror, forming itself from a twisted concatenation of the very worst unholy abominations like some sort of sludge-creature in a late-night horror movie. But now Trump’s somehow managed to top himself, choosing as his nominee for administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency Scott Pruitt, a man whose entire career has been the very antithesis of the first two words in the name of the agency Trump wants him to run. You can’t say Pruitt is in the pocket of Big Oil — it’s more like he wears Oklahoma’s oil and gas extraction industries as a second skin. Which he rubs heavy crude into willingly, with no fear of getting the hose. Pruitt’s appointment as EPA administrator makes Ronald Reagan’s secretary of Interior, James Watt, look like John Freakin’ Muir. Just how bad is Pruitt? Former Obama advisor Dan Pfeiffer has some idea:

pfeiffer-tweet

How closely allied to what Molly Ivins called the Oil Bidness is Scott Pruitt? For starters, while he’d long been Big Oil’s close personal friend in Oklahoma government, he first came to national attention in 2014, when a New York Times investigation revealed that back in 2011, a very stern letter Pruitt sent to the EPA — complaining the agency was exaggerating the amount of pollution caused by oil drilling in Oklahoma — had actually been written by lawyers for one of the state’s biggest oil bidnesses, Devon Energy. Devon’s lawyers sent it to Pruitt, who copy-pasted it to his official Oklahoma Attorney General stationery with a couple of minor changes and his signature, then dutifully sent it off to the EPA. Beyond that, the Times also found several examples of other letters “by” Pruitt which had been drafted by oil and gas lobbyists and sent off under his signature to “the Interior Department, the Office of Management and Budget and even President Obama,” because as Molly Ivins also observed, that’s what being a public servant has become: Dancing with the ones what brung you.

Oh, yes, there’s more, as The New Yorker’s Jane Mayer points out. Pruitt has also

taken a lead role in coördinating a twenty-eight-state legal challenge to the Obama Administration’s regulations on fossil-fuel pollution, which are at the center of its larger effort to stem climate change.

You see, while Pruitt hasn’t gone quite as far as his new idiot boss and said that global warming was made up by China to keep the U.S. at a competitive disadvantage, he absolutely rejects the scientific consensus that it’s happening and that human activity has caused it. Just a couple of examples, from Mother Jones, of Pruitt’s thoughts on how science works:

“The EPA does not possess the authority under the Clean Air Act to accomplish what it proposes in the unlawful Clean Power Plan. The EPA is ignoring the authority granted by Congress to states to regulate power plant emissions at their source. The Clean Power Plan is an unlawful attempt to expand federal bureaucrats’ authority over states’ energy economies in order to shutter coal-fired power plants and eventually other sources of fossil-fuel generated electricity.” [Pruitt press release, 7/1/15]

Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.

“Scientists continue to disagree about the degree and extent of global warming and its connection to the actions of mankind. That debate should be encouraged — in classrooms, public forums, and the halls of Congress.” [Pruitt National Review op-ed, 5/17/16]

He seems nice, if you’re in the oil and coal bidness. Putting Pruitt in charge of the EPA isn’t simply the fox guarding the henhouse. It’s giving the fox a fleet of bulldozers, several General Electric M-134 miniguns and white phosphorus grenades, and parking him outside the whole damn poultry plant.

Hey, remember how way back on Monday it looked like, just maybe, Trump might have let Al Gore talk some sense into him about climate? Psych!

Scott Tong of public radio’s Marketplace described the mood among many EPA workers in response to the announcement of Pruitt’s appointment as “gloom. Beyond just the regulations, there’s fear that the agency will halt or stop enforcing the rules currently on the books.” (It was a live interview, so we’ll forgive the redundancy. This time).

But — this is a big but, and we cannot lie — while there’s no question Pruitt and Trump want to go at environmental regulation with sledghammers, crowbars, and probably a wheelbarrow full of C-4, and for all the considerable damage they’re definitely out to wreak, we need to keep some perspective. This is merely a massive catastrophe, not quite an extinction level event. What we mean is that, as Tong also points out, there are actually market forces already in place that will at least reduce the amount of devastation Pruitt and Trump can do. They can repeal all the regulations on coal they want (and that will not be as easy as they pretend) but the lower cost of natural gas for power plants is likely to prevent coal from ever regaining the prominence it once had in our energy mix. That means less carbon going into the atmosphere. Solar and wind are also continuing to expand, and as their cost per kilowatt hour continues to drop, they’ll displace dirtier fuel. And blue states will continue to promote cleaner energy, so there’s that. And other, saner countries are still going to act as if science is real, even if the USA opts out of reality.

Also, at the risk of being hugely over-optimistic, there’s an outside chance that the Senate might not confirm him. This is why everyone needs to have their senators’ offices on speed dial, dear Terrible Ones. Fight this man’s nomination like your grandkids’ lives depended on it, because they do.

We’re no Pollyannas here — Pruitt is still going to be horrible, and thanks to the Trump administration’s decision to turn energy policy over to the oil and gas bidness, China is almost certain to outpace us in the production of green energy, which will be bad for our economy, too. Maybe Donald Trump can tweet some mean comments at the Sun.

So there’s your tiny bit of silver lining. Now back to the doomsday scenario! During the campaign, Trump promised more than once to eviscerate or dismantle the EPA altogether. Scott Pruitt is an experienced lawyer whose career has largely consisted of suing the EPA, and he just might be a dogged enough hater of the agency he’s been asked to run that he could tear it apart from the inside.

But just think how many jobs will be created, not just in the energy sector, but also for medical experts treating black lung, skin cancers, and exposure to toxic sludge in the water supply.

[NYT / Mother Jones / New Yorker / Marketplace Morning Report]

  • Nounverb911
    • willi0000000

      – Must have at least thirty years experience in the fields of hating Democrats (hating Clintons a bonus), hating the poor, hating the sick, hating the environment, hating…

  • borninatrailer

    We sure are going to get a chance to see how flexible GOP senators are willing to be in the confirmation process. I mean, at least a few of the noms will make a few of them go “Nopenopenopenope”

    • willi0000000

      ihopehopehopehopehope!

  • Nounverb911

    Obligatory:
    He seems nice!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Bless his heart.

  • Me not sure

    What a great pack of grifters these. Don’t pay taxes, fuck up everything that you don’t like or profit from, and get paid by people who DO pay taxes to do it. Genius! Evil genius, but genius!

  • Hutch

    I was writing to Reagan on a regular basis during James Watt’s tenure. I guess I need to fill up the fountain pens again. Although, here in Georgia my epistles will fall on legislative stony ground.

    • Me not sure

      Then the laterite clastic soils stain them an ugly red.

      • Hutch

        Yep, I’m in the fucking Red Hills alright!

        • Me not sure

          Me too.

  • Nounverb911
  • yyyaz

    I have described the Thief in Chief as the ringleader of The Greatest Shitshow on Earth. Now it occurs to me that as much as I love pointing and laughing at his tiny hands, intellect, amorality and tonsorial arrangement, I also see the tiniest flicker of an ember buried deep in his ganglia that signals he has the singular understanding every con man must: he actually has grokked just how stupid the masses really are.

  • borninatrailer

    Only somewhat on topic but I’ve had a phrase rolling around in my head to describe this constant drum beat of Trump stupidity that we all now marinate in, 24/7.

    I propose this is now referred to as “cosmic background retardation.”

    I know history might make this one a little sensitive for Wonkette but.. all in favor?

  • Moebym, Resistance Pilot

    Someone said the EPA should be renamed the “Environmental Pollution Agency”. I don’t disagree.

    OT: Democrats already screwing up on fixing gerrymandering? Say it isn’t so. https://thinkprogress.org/democrats-may-already-be-blowing-the-2020-redistricting-fight-d7edf43703ac#.5vc1y1t4g

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Hey, remember how way back on Monday it looked like, just maybe, Trump might have let Al Gore talk some sense into him about climate? Psych!

    This is what attempts at appeasement look like. Trump is trying to humiliate everyone he perceives as having slighted him, but pulling shit like meetings with Al Gore. And all those idiots are just going along with it.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      AKA, co-optation.

  • WiscoJoe

    Repealing the EPA just wasn’t “bold” enough. Republicans won’t settle until they’ve repealed the environment altogether. Then we won’t even need an EPA. Genius!

    • yyyaz

      If the envyyyroomint is so goddamned important, how come it can’t protect itself, libturds????

      • WiscoJoe

        The polar ice caps need to pull themselves up by their boot straps. All of these environmental protections are making them lazy!

        • Amy!

          This is a place to put a slogan!

          Make Antarctica Green Again!

  • TX Taco Truck Brigade

    ““Scientists continue to disagree about the degree and extent of global warming and its connection to the actions of mankind. That debate should be encouraged — in classrooms, public forums, and the halls of Congress.”

    Not that any of this is true, but notice he isn’t encouraging “the debate” in, oh, scientific labs, university research departments, or government agencies with the technical and scientific know how to FURTHER prove the existence of man-made global warming.

    Sigh.

    • therblig

      teach the controversy: are republicans stupid, evil, or both?

      • TX Taco Truck Brigade

        Heh, IMHO, Evil, they want the debate in places where there’s no scientific method…or facts…or truth, sot hey can lie and lie some more to “win” and make obscene profits.

        • therblig

          i can see old men only concerned with making money, but don’t any of them have children or grandchildren or loved ones? are they that shortsighted that they think they can buy a secure future for their descendants? or do they just not give a fuck? the, perhaps poetic justice, thing is, when the assassination attempts come, it won’t be from liberals, but from trumapanzee class who finally (FINALLY) realize who was fucking them all along.

          • Historicat

            To admit the possibility that the libruls are right on this topic would mean considering the possibility that they’re right on other topics as well. No, the only way to keep your thoughts pure is absolute rejection of such blasphemy .

  • therblig

    still kind of disappointed that gore actually met with trumpy instead of just telling him, “read a fucking book, asshole, and call me if you need help with the big words”.

  • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

    Part of the reason why I decided never to have kids was because I was worried there wouldn’t be a planet to leave them.

    So, called it, I guess?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Got to hand it to Putin. If he’s calling the shots here to throw up so much confusion that Tillerson slips in unnoticed it’s fucking brilliant and it’s working. I bet there were some very harsh words behind the scenes when Trump the uncontrollable dumbass braggart almost fucked it up by pointing the media at Tillerson.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Obama played eleven dimensional chess. We Russians prefer a version of chess with many more pawns.”
      — Valdimir Putin

  • Nounverb911
  • FauxAntocles

    So what’s a better nickname for these guys?
    Legion of Doom or Arkham Asylum?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Legion of Doom = Trump’s cabinet.
      Arkham Asylum = Trump Tower.

    • WiscoJoe

      They all seem like they’re from an alternate reality where villainy is seen as heroic, so I’d go with the Crime Syndicate of Amerika.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Brotherhood of Evil might be accurate.”
      — Monsieur Mallah

    • Hutch

      “The Thing on the Doorstep.”

      • Oblios_Cap

        Ducks of Doom.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Who would’ve thought we might long for the principled leadership and professionalism of Ann Gorsuch?

  • Nounverb911
  • schmannity

    Oklahoma, Texas, West Virginia, Kentucky, to become hellscapes. This affects me how?

    • Daisy

      Because decent people live there? Because pollution doesn’t limit itself to one spot? Because even blue state California has water pollution issues?

    • yyyaz

      The air pollution washing in from the entire planet (true) has already destroyed the view at the Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, the Painted Desert and to a lesser extent Zion, Bryce, Paiute and on and on. Fuck it.

      Edit: Also, too, 2016 sea ice minimum has broken the record set in 2015. At both poles. Double fuck it.

    • therblig

      we’ll have to pay for the walls and armed guards to keep the rabid trumpanzee mutations in.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Screw future generations. What have they ever done for me?” added Pruitt.

  • Ezio Auditore

    Anyone want to call in Captain Planet?

  • TX Taco Truck Brigade

    Speaking of wind, I was perusing appellate decisions the other day and found one involving energy trading for a wind farm.

    There were two interesting things; 1) The judges noted that wind is indeed expensive to start up (i.e. building the damn things), but EXTREMELY cheap to operate. 2) This wind farm was producing so much energy that the grid was in danger of being overloaded, and in fact, as I understand it (energy markets are complex), they were producing so much energy that the cost to the buyers were in the negative!

    Meanwhile, the new administration is going to push coal, oil, and fracking, three very dangerous, very dirty fuel sources.

    SMH

  • Daisy

    Awww, fuck. I live in the oil producing part of California, and we’ve already had issues with our water supply getting contaminated.

    • arglebargle

      Just drink almond milk, and thank don’t forget to thank Feinstein.

  • Scooby

    God, H.P Lovecraft is now in the Current Events section.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Pruitt’s first day:

    Pruitt: You all have the day off.
    EPA Staff: Yay?
    Pruitt: Without pay. Also all the rest of the days are off without pay.
    EPA Staff: Fuck you!
    Pruitt: Also, please try to kill a snail darter or a spotted owl on your way out.

  • Ezio Auditore

    I never understood this “the environment is there only to serve us for financial gain” mentality.

    Even IF you believe that global warming is just a hoax, what makes you think it’s okay to treat the environment like crap? Do they even consider the ramifications for future generations?

    And if it’s a religious thing, I don’t think God is going to be too happy with what we’ve done to his creation.

    • therblig

      Rapture Ready folks don’t think we’ll need the earth after the big middle east war and return of Jebus.

      fyi, as of 12/5, the rapture index is 185 http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

      • yyyaz

        Tired of beating my brainz out over this for over four decades. Fuck it.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Buckle your seatbelt!

    • YoNastyBunny

      God only gets A Sad when make unauthorized wet spot deposits. Burning down the earth? Eh… Win some, lose some, right?

  • stankbait

    This $2.00 gas of late is mighty nice. Thanks a lot Obama! Under Bush Cheney it was bumping up to $4 to $5 a gallon. These fucks are going to gouge us on the price at the pump, and accelerate the environmental destruction of the planet. Less pollution control should yield cheaper gas but those bastards will just keep the money. Fuck ’em and Frack Oklahoma.

    • therblig

      will serve all those red state fuckers buying SUVs right when they get repo’d

    • Anna Rompage

      “Less pollution control should yield cheaper gas”

      Not all that much, the biggest issue for oil production in the US right now is that global oil prices are below what it profitable for US frackers to produce…

      Here’s hoping that OPEC & Rusia continues the push to flood the market with cheap oil

  • Oblios_Cap
    • Ezio Auditore

      It’s snowing in December therefore global warming is a myth! Checkmate, libs!

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Oh we hadn’t thought of that. Curse our ignorance of seasons!

        • therblig

          is it real snow, or just a chinese plot?

          http://snowinseconds.com/

          update: apparently, snowinseconds is NOT imported from China. but who’s to say that the chinese aren’t buying it?

    • Hutch

      NOOOOO! What kind of research would Gohmert promote? Whether the earth is round or not? Whether fairies exist? I am truly depressed now.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Speaking as someone who used to work for NSF and still has friends there, good fucking gawd.

        • Oblios_Cap
          • Hutch

            Thanks! With Trump, you never know.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Nounverb911 stuck the link up here sometime earlier in the week. It’s sad that you really can’t tell a fake one from a real one with this idiot.

          • SuspectedDemocrat

            Whew! Well that shows where my confirmation bias lies!

      • MynameisBlarney

        The majority of his research will on aspersion resistant strains of asparagus.

    • NastyBossetti

      You made this up on that fake trump tweet website, right? RIGHT?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Yes

    • Vincent Ricola

      Louie Gohmert makes it snow in the midwest? What?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ezio Auditore

      Nah. I don’t think Lex would settle for a spot on Trump’s cabinet. He would probably run for President himself. Donald would be like the guy who gets him coffee.

  • JVisconti

    This news arouses my green inclinations, as in vomiting.
    And to think I ran out of eyes to be stick poked yesterday

  • Msgr_Moment

    What is this N-vironment of which you speak? And what happened to A-vironment through M-vironment? Not good enough for you, elitist?

    • Daisy

      Assumes facts not in evidence: wingnuts knowing the alphabet.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    “Scientists continue to disagree about the degree and extent of global warming and its connection to the actions of mankind. That debate should be encouraged — in classrooms, public forums, and the halls of Congress.”

    Funny how he leaves NASA and other scientific institutions off his list of places where this should be debated.

    • Ezio Auditore

      The funny thing is he doesn’t want to debate it, he is already convinced it’s a crock created to keep America down or something.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Yeah when Gohmert took over the House committee one of his first statements was effectively, the debate is over.

      • Sparger

        No, I think its worse than that. He knows climate change is real. He just doesn’t’ care.

    • Oblios_Cap

      If it’s such a hoax why has the Pentagon been making contingency plans for the unrest that water shortages, et.al. will foment? Because they have, for years now.

  • arglebargle

    OT and maybe covered earlier today, but Greg Lake has passed away. Fuck 2016.

    And here’s a bit of a prophetic voice not so nice time…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfgD3LJ6Xb8

    • therblig

      considering our future, what a lucky man he was.

      • arglebargle

        If we make it
        we can all sit back and laugh
        but I fear tomorrow
        I’ll be crying

        • therblig

          what i really hate is when people i perceived as “adults” when i was growing up die and i read the stories and see that greg lake was only 8 years older than me. fuck.

          • arglebargle

            Yeah, I’m doing that now too. Makes one feel a little inconsequential.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “The fate of all mankind, I see, is in the hands of fools.”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      My favorite album of all time.

  • Oblios_Cap

    But just think how many jobs will be created, not just in the energy sector, but also for medical experts treating black lung, skin cancers, and exposure to toxic sludge in the water supply.

    The people being treated for those will be the few working class there are left, who will have no insurance. Best to just leave them outside in Oklahoma in the summer, where either the heat or a fracking-induced earthquake will make short work of them.

  • JVisconti

    Pruitt is just another smart ALEC.

  • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

    Okay, let’s say global warming is a giant hoax made up by libtards to something something. What’s the worst case scenario if we buy into that hoax? Cleaner air and water? These are … bad things?

    • therblig

      if they cut into profits and ceo salaries, hell yes!

      • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

        Heaven forbid they invest in clean energy and make profits there. I hate everyone.

        • willi0000000

          “investing” . . . y’see, that’s your problem . . . stockholders don’t want an “investment” that will generate profits for years and years they want their profits NOW! . . . or by end of next quarter at the latest.

          [ . . . and they don’t worry about the eventual demise of the corporation . . . because they all know that they’ll be able to sell their interest in the company to some sucker by generating a faked “profit” report . . . with a little help from insider trading information ]

    • Ezio Auditore

      WE WOULD MAKE LESS MONEY. THEY ENVIRONMENT IS ONLY HERE TO SERVE US AND INCREASE OUR BANK ACCOUNTS. DON’T YOU GET THAT?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Worst case we might have to admit liberals were right and we hates them!

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’ve used that agreement, but it goes unheeded. I mean, what is the downside to a cleaner planet?

      • chortlingdingo

        Yeah, but then these guys won’t get to line their pockets with as much money as they would if they had no regulations at all.

    • JoeChristmas

      Reminds me of what Little Joe said when he was 13 yo. “Why wouldn’t you recycle?’

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Basic tenet of Republican religion: If it reduces profits for the Koch brothers, it’s bad.

    • willi0000000
  • Fartknocker

    Well the good news is that Freedom Chemical Company (the one that spilled 20 k gallons of hazmat into a West Virginia river and contaminated some municipal water works) has plans for a new plant in Oklahoma City. So the next time Freedom fucks up, it will take out the Ogallala aquifer. Good luck Oklahoma fucktards.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      And Kansas and all other neighboring states.

  • Nounverb911
    • Thiazin Red

      At least when you’re unemployed you’ll be able to be openly racist. And maybe they’ll take some of those civil rights away from the icky gays and uppity women.

      • YoNastyBunny

        And they can wish whomever they like “Merry Christmas!” JACKPOT!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    There won’t be any need for those pesky pipelines anymore. Just dump the oil in the headwaters of the Mississippi and have it float down to the Gulf.

    • Nounverb911

      Nice efficient way to lubricate the barge locks in the river…

  • whitroth

    Actually, no those jobs *won’t* be created, taking care of black lung, etc, because the coal companies have been spinning off, creating mergers, then bankruptcies, with the sole intent of a) getting rid of unions (mainly the UMWA), and b) not having to pay retirees health and pension benefits. I have a literal inside source that tells me retirees could lose *everything* if Congress doesn’t pass the bill in front of them and bail out the 1993 Act.

    Come on, they’re workin’ folks. Dying on the street’s not too good for them, and we’ll have non-union streetcleaners to pick up the bodies.

    • therblig

      bring out your dead (on a cash only basis)!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The fuckers would render the miners’ corpses if they got half a chance.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It’s the Mitt Rmoney scam: push papers around until the miners’ benefit funds are all in the hands of the scumbag management, then shut the thing down and walk away with the money.

    • doktorzoom

      OK, fine. But the designer air filtration mask industry is poised for a boom.

  • MynameisBlarney

    So….what fresh Hell will he bring down on us next?

    • Ezio Auditore

      Tomi Lahren as Trump’s Press Secretary.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Ghengis Khan as Ambassador to China?

        • therblig

          sounds mooslim, he’ll have to change it to Ghengis Con.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Damn Mongolians!

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        I see her more running the free speech camps where the new deportation railroad terminates.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      After appointing the worst of the worst to every position in his administration, he resigns and lets Pence – who knows how – run with it.

  • Sparger

    Why are you guys so mean. Just because Donald Trump is appointing the minions of Satan to cabinet positions. It’s always opposite day at Trump Tower. If you are against something you must be in charge. Unless its the military.

  • Mavenmaven

    OT: Beloved-of-Wonkette Mr. Ben Shapiro has been tussling with transgender people again. http://forward.com/opinion/356448/this-transgender-rabbi-is-standing-up-to-ben-shapiros-hateful-rhetoric/

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Virgin Ben is not very good at being Jewish either.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Ben Shapiro is a schmuck.

  • jesuswasablack
  • anwisok
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    The Legion of Doom is nearly complete!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Lex Luthor libelz! He had two women and some colored folks, if you count Braniac and Sinestro (green and purple respectively).

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        we’ve got Ben Carson and Linda McMahon, so Rump is well on his way to getting the band back together

    • willi0000000

      their legion . . . our doom.

  • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

    It’s okay. I never believed for one second Trump is capable of anything approaching sense, even if he was able to live without the sound of his asshole mouth for a few minutes and actually listen to someone.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Where’s that #slatepitch about how we can work with Trump again?

      • Anna Rompage

        I’ll work over Trump, and his minions… Where’s my cattle prod dammit!?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Not as satisfying as a baseball bat, but maybe that’s just me.

    • Anna Rompage

      I honestly don’t think it’s Trump who’s appointing these people… I blame Pubis & Pence…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Plenty of blame to go around.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        All of these swamp creatures from the alt-universe of fakery and bullshit? I blame Bannon.

  • JoeChristmas

    Pruitt/DeVos ’24

  • “Look, have you ever considered that maybe birds and fish LIKE being covered in oil? I mean after a spill, they always seem to be wallowing around in the stuff. Have you asked them?”

  • Hutch

    Checks and Balances, man! I’m starting to be optimistic that the Republican Congress will start viewing the confirmation processes with the anxiety that, say, a diabetic, who has been barely able to control her* sugary diet, is presented with a 10-ton delivery of delicious chocolate eclairs.

    *Speaking from a friend’s experience

  • Anna Rompage

    Is anyone else getting kind of excited for rivers that catch fire, and well water that comes out of the tap looking like rust colored chocolate milk?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yay!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Or the best of both worlds: tap water that caches fire!

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    The silver lining here is right after the election I publicly proclaimed that Trump voters are all stupid. It’s a relief I won’t have to eat my words!

    • JVisconti

      But he will shake things up just like my ’67 Yugo did at 45 mph. not a pleasant ride.

      • Oblios_Cap

        At least your Yugo ran. My Vega’s block cracked right after I bought it – I only paid $50 for it, so I wasn’t terribly pissed.

        • JVisconti

          Right. The Vega’s block was made of recycled Reynolds wrap IIRC. Thanks ALCOA

          • Creepoman

            My buddy in high school had a Vega. Kept a 2-gallon can of oil in trunk so he could add a quart or two every time he filled up the tank. Burned more oil than a 2-stroke engine.

      • Lambsendbeds

        My Yugo’s engine had to be replaced after three months. Then it was repossessed out of the hospital parking lot while I was in the psych ward. My sleazy ex had lied about making the payments before he took off. Good times…

        • puredog

          Sounds like your sleazy ex did you at least one favor.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Vindication ain’t what it used to be.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Scientists continue to disagree about the degree and extent of global warming and its connection to the actions of mankind.

    He’s not saying here that climate change isn’t real, just that the extent of the change and influence of humans has not been determined. Skillful weasel words. Will I get cancer? Doctors may disagree about my chances. Does that make medical science then undeserving of respect? This kind of weaseling worked for Big Tobacco.

    And then, when climate denialists want to talk about how political it all is, well, what the fuck isn’t political for a nation in which the political arena is how we decide policy, whether it be the reality of cancer from smoking or climate change?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Some doctors say 3 in 10 smokers will get cancer. Others say 4 in 10. Who knows? I can’t decide to quit smoking based on that kind of uncertainty!

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Dead lung cancer patients know the answer.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Some say nicotine is a deadly carcinogenic poison, others say it’s a useful insecticide, clearly the science isn’t settled yet.

    • Anna Rompage

      “Scientists continue to disagree about the degree and extent of global warming and its connection to the actions of mankind.”

      If he saw 100 docs and 99 of them tell him he has cancer and needs immediate treatment, and 1 says he’s fine, who do you think he’s gonna listen too, the 99 of them who are prescribing treatment, or the one who says his body is just following it’s natural rhythm?

      • puredog

        That’s a trick question, right? Answer me this: who’d he vote for?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        He’ll believe whatever Exxon tells pays him to believe

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Bye bye, blue skies, it was nice knowing you.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • jesuswasablack
  • Lance Thrustwell

    I’m so glad someone has finally taken a concrete step toward dismantling ALL environmental regulations in the U.S. Every sensible person knows that conservationists only create these regs because it’s fun, and it makes them feel tingly in their underwear regions to think of placing a burden on industry and development! Who doesn’t realize that? I mean, why ELSE would they do it?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Many times the question is not asked. Is our rivers burning?

  • Randy Riddle

    My senatorcritter, Richard Burr (R-Asshat), is so bought off that calling his office is about as productive as leaving life-affirming and inclusive comments about Muslims at DeadBrietbart.

  • jesuswasablack

    I swear I remember reading somewhere on the tubes one of them “news” sites that Mr. Pruitt has a penchant for kiddie porn, as soon as I find it I’ll post a link!

    • YoNastyBunny

      GOAT PoRN???

      Eh… just as bad, amiright?

      • jesuswasablack

        yeah maybe it was goats or mini-horses, I’m confused now?

        • Thiazin Red

          Mini horses? If that bastard touched Little Sebastian …

    • Anna Rompage
      • Thiazin Red

        Based on what a low class jerkoff he is, this is probably a picture of my cat’s father. The vet thinks they must have has different fathers and that his sister’s father was a much classier cat.

      • jowgajen

        Is the can the equivalent of a love gift or is it like a roofie? Totally not into non-consensual kittie porn.

        • YoNastyBunny

          Pillowcase-Over-the-Head Trick, mebbe?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Something about pizza commercials really gets me hot.”
      — Pruitt

  • YoNastyBunny

    I’m sad-laughing at how our relations across the pond flatly described Trump’s cabinet picks.

    Other Trump appointments include Jeff Sessions, a racially-biased man as
    the head of the justice department, Betsy DeVos, a woman with no teaching experience as head of education, and Scott Pruitt, a climate change-denier as head of the Environmental Protection Agency. Mr Trump’s senior counsel, Stephen Bannon, is a white supremacist.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-andy-puzder-labour-secretary-cke-restaurants-fast-food-ceo-minimum-wage-tax-regulations-a7464306.html

    • arglebargle

      USA-USA-USA

      • Historicat

        SOS-SOS

    • Anna Rompage

      Lets not forget, he just appointed the CEO of the KKK (Karl Karcher’s Kids), as the head of the Bureau of Labor…

  • TheGrandWaz00

    “We had to destroy the village country in order to save it.”

    • Anna Rompage

      It could be worse, he could be stacking his admin with military leaders…

      Errr wait, never mind….

  • Anna Rompage
    • jesuswasablack
      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Proof that there’s only a snowball’s chance in February that global warming is real.

        Fucking moron.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Where are you at?

      • Anna Rompage

        I’m in SE Portland, down near Reed College

        • puredog

          Well, I’m headed to the SW corner of 50th and Powell while I can still drive.

          • Anna Rompage

            That’s a pretty decent liquor store there… Much better than the one on Woodstock!

          • puredog

            I am provisioned now. I can roll around in the snow with my 16-week-old-snow-virgin puppy, madly filming her delight. And then eat leftovers. Hell, maybe I’ll even build a fire and pump woodsmoke into the atmosphere. It’ll probably earn me bitcoin from the Neue Administration.

        • Yr. Gma

          At least there’s some precipitation…

    • puredog

      Make up your mind. It’s either going sideways or it’s coming down.

    • OrG

      Summer is over!

      • Anna Rompage

        It also coincides with out first frost of the year, which usually comes in early-mid Oct….

    • YoNastyBunny

      That’s the queersexual’s fault!!11!!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It’s a Christmas Miracle!

  • LarryHoudini

    At this rate, I’m guessing the Secretary of Transportation will be a housebound agoraphobe who’s never owned a car.

    • Anna Rompage

      Actually the Sec of Trans is someone who’s been the leading proponent of privatizing roads for the last 30 years…

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        A private road would be perfect for someone with agoraphobia!

      • LarryHoudini

        Oh right, I forgot about Mitch’s wife.

      • JVisconti

        needz moar high priority lanes to keep the riffraff in your dust.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          HOV Lane will be for High Overlords’ Vehicles.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Only in the blue states, I assume. The Trumpanzees won’t take kindly to tolls on THEIR roads.

    • Nounverb911
    • TheGrandWaz00

      Secretary of Agriculture will be the inventor of Round-Up.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Bring back leaded gas. My 409 Chevy Big Block demands it.

    • puredog

      Is she real fine, your 409?

      • Yr. Gma

        Giddy up, giddy up.

        • Anna Rompage

          My four-speed, dual-quad, posi-traction 4-0-9

          • Yr. Gma

            I guess we’re all Olds!

          • Anna Rompage

            My sweetie loves to play that album after she’s been imbibing…

    • therblig

      will that leave enough lead to put back into paint?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Why not? Trump is a fan of asbestos, too. Fuck everything.

  • Nounverb911
  • Annie Towne

    Jesus Fucking Christ, when am I going to wake up?

  • Nounverb911

    Ohio again shows it’s dickishness…

    https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/806947958616899587

    • Mr. Blobfish

      State’s rights to be a dick.

    • OrG

      Family Values.

    • JVisconti

      Not like affording to live in Shakers Heights is anything like living across the river from Kentucky.

    • therblig
    • Bitter Scribe

      Let’s hear it for local control and limited government!

    • The DepravedDemmeFatale

      Kasich, moderate?
      These are his true colors, people!

    • YoNastyBunny

      Economic Anxiety to the Rescue!!!!!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      More of that “small government” the Rethuglicans are so fond of.

    • Ryan Denniston

      There’s that nice moderate Kasich.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Japan had Gozilla to combat the Smog Monster. Who do we have to combat this evil? http://dailygrindhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/GODZILLA-VS-THE-SMOG-MONSTER.jpg

    • Begin Anew Day

      Even as we speak, liberal scientists work day and night in secret labs, using high energy particle accelerators with one goal: The Ultimate Snarkatron!

      Until this Weapon Of Mass Snark is deployed we will have to make do with our conventional snark!

  • JVisconti

    OT: John Glenn has reached orbit for a final time. RIP

    • therblig

      just saw that. sad now.

  • RobKanC

    I am sure the wolf will gladly guard the coop. If we can’t trust the wolf who can we trust.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Harvey Keitel libulz!!1!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    lost another one- RIP John Glenn

    2016 you suck!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I guess this settles the question of exactly what golden age the Republicans are trying to reinvent. Gilded Age it is.

  • Shibusa
    • neminem

      That’s not true, he just plans to rename it. The acronym can stay the same, it’ll just be the Environmental Pollution Agency. The goal: do as much damage as possible for the next 4 years. Full steam ahead! (By steam I mean gas and coal, obviously.)

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    America under Trump is about to become a rogue nation and Enemy of the Planet.

  • theblackdog

    Are we starting a pool on when the Cuyahoga River will be set on fire again?

    • Well, on a positive note having all the rivers coated with a thick crust of solidified garbage will make evacuation easier when the riots break out and/or the bombs drop.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “The problem is not just that too many people do not seem to care about the truth (though this is certainly a huge problem); it’s that a lot of people—an increasing number of them in high government positions—insist that their ravings are true, and try to act on them.”
    Good (and scary) read at http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/why-scientists-are-scared-of-trump-a-pocket-guide

  • mailman27

    Is it OK if I’m sad for a minute?

  • #23 of an ongoing series ‘Trump Announces Another Cabinet Appointment’:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b6c674a9fd7031206387edb9e69accce25089e4390fad6d6952251be5685c65.jpg

    • azeyote

      Disappointment

  • azeyote

    maybe trump wants to make sure he’s the last president – why should anything be left if he’s not here –

  • Stulexington
  • Paperless Tiger

    The problem with natural gas is fracking, which is already causing massive water pollution and earthquakes for crissake. So the current glut is probably not sustainable. Coal could come back if we don’t go green fast enough.

  • Courser

    That’s the problem, all our agencies will be torn apart from the inside. Look at the FBI. Think anyone’s going to trust or cooperate with them again? Think citizen cooperation is no big deal? It’s how they actually get stuff done.

  • SterWonk

    “… it’s more like he wears Oklahoma’s oil and gas extraction industries as a second skin.”

    Armus LIBEL!!!

    http://www.startrek.com/uploads/assets/db_articles/70e62ea81666cb3aadb4057f7e2f9269fe8c626e.jpg

    (Yes, yes, I know it was a terrible episode! It’s only memorable for killing off Tasha. 🙁)

    • doktorzoom

      And for giving me the excuse to now and then call Rush Limbaugh an “ugly bag of mostly water and OxyContin”

  • nightmoth

    “This is why everyone needs to have their senators’ offices on speed dial,
    dear Terrible Ones.”
    Did that, signed a petition, emailed it on to friends.
    If this guy goes in, time to revive the Monkey Wrench Gangs and the Earth Firsters.
    Deliberate property damage sucks, but damaging the ecosystem sucks more.

  • Fuck it. I’ve got nothin’
  • Duke

    Ex-generals and flagrant assholes. Didn’t people see this coming?

  • Flashman

    …at the risk of being hugely over-optimistic, there’s an outside chance that the Senate might not confirm him…

    Dear Wonkette: I’m am a former Gabonese potentate. If you will kindly send me your bank account and PIN number, I think I can assure you…

  • Begin Anew Day

    Since the election my consumption of horror fiction, monster movies and dystopian comix has taken a nose dive.

    Why bother with that stuff when our reality is so much more depraved and terrifying?

  • pgjack

    Mr. Pruit should go live in Beijing for a year. If he was still breathing after that he might have a different opinion about pollution. But he won’t and he sucks and Trump sucks and they all believe that if they can just get there hands on a few more bucks things will be fine. My thoughts about the folks Trump is appointing are dark and hateful. His education appointee wants to end public education, His HUD appointee is unbelievably ignorant for an educated man, Trump has appointed 3 generals to his team after claiming that he knows more about war than all the generals. His economics guy believes the problem with Wall Street is there are too many regulations – that sounds familiar, like a replay of the Bush administration. Apparently American memories don’t go as far back as ten years. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! It’s all so damned STUPID!

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