http://imgur.com/9On3lTb

-You're a piece of shit.

-You cant afford me lol.

-You wont get in my pants.

-(brushing my shoulder) Flies are attracted to shit.

-Can you lend me a thousand €.

-I hate being in bad company, (after getting a shitton of expensive drinks)

-Dont touch me there I dont like it...5 min later...why dont you want to fuck me.

-The waiter is a piece of shit.

-(to another guy) he is my lover and he will kick your ass. Lets get together later.

--I thought you like bondage pussy?

-What do you mean by not wanting to live together? Are you serious?

-Leave my house before my grandmother gets up.

-I want a sandwich (at 3 am) and you better drive me to the fuel station (11km away) while you're drunk.

-I dont need no helmet to sit on your bike. Faster you cunt. Fuck the cops.

-Could you wait outside I have to talk to my boyfriend.

-Let me show you how to kiss me properly. (45 sec later) My gf just called. Lets meet tomorrow lol.

-My dog just got sick so dinner tonight is off.

-Enjoy yourself with those two boring bitches. I'll be over there if you want to buy me a drink.

-Lol I can shoot a gun (agressively trying to pull a loaded gun from my hands)

-You're too old for me lol.

Feel free to add your own one liners.