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He ain't scared
He ain’t scared

Guys, we think Stephen Colbert has found his “Late Show” voice. Wednesday night, he went all out, going after the assorted morons, paste-eaters, conspiracy theorists, Russian tools and future national security advisors named Michael Flynn responsible for the flood of bullshit propaganda that’s literally making America dumber, helping us just barely elect tyrants, and inciting know-nothing freaks to shoot up pizza places in DC, because they think Hillary Clinton and John Podesta are banging children in basements that do not exist. Sneaky Hillary, doing child sex rings in basements you literally can’t go to, because they’re not there.

Oh yes, Colbert told the story of #PizzaGate up one side and down the other, naming Alex Jones, Wikileaks, the untouchable virgins who populate Reddit conspiracy threads, and oh yeah, he went straight after Michael Flynn and his idiot son too, telling them all, and we quote, to “GROW THE FUCK UP.” Hell yeah, he said that on the television! We are always telling you to WATCH THE VIDEO, but you’ll really want to spend 10 minutes on this. Shall we have video time together, and after the video, we’ll tell you all our favorite quotes from it? OK!

Here are the best quotes from this entire video:

  • “Where’d this conspiracy theory start? Apparently some ‘alt-right’ folks were combing through Clinton campaign emails hacked by Russia and published by Wikileaks, and noticed there seems to be more references to pizza and pizzerias than they expected, which can only mean one thing: SECRET SEX RING.”
  • “A lot of uninformed, gullible people fell for the Clinton-Podesta sex ring theory, people like Trump’s pick for national security advisor, Michael Flynn, who tweeted out a link, writing, ‘New Hillary Emails: Money Laundering, Sex Crimes w Children, etc…MUST READ!’, introducing it, ‘U decide.’ OK, then I decide a guy who spreads this bullshit shouldn’t be in charge of national security.” (DAMN, GIRL, DAMN!)
  • “According to some folks on Reddit, I’m in on #PizzaGate. Because at the end of my election night special, I talked about pizza, which they called all caps ‘CREEPY’! This is insane. I have no part in the #PizzaGate conspiracy … IS WHAT THEY WANT ME TO SAY.”
  • “Look around the country. Wouldn’t you agree we need some more adults? So Wikileaks, Alex Jones, and the sub-Reddit sub-geniuses, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: GROW THE FUCK UP.”

AWWWWWWW YEAH. Colbert just TOLD YOU FOOLS. Especially you, Michael Flynn, you delusional jackhole.

Again, watch the whole video, ’cause we said so and we are your real dad, according to John Podesta’s pizza emails.

[h/t Towleroad]

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

  • Crystalclear12

    Love him😁

  • JesusWasAHippie

    Thank you Stephen.

    • calliecallie

      Love your avatar.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Alt-Right Fever Dream.

    A great band name!

  • anwisok
  • weejee

    Wouldn’t you agree we need some more adults?

    Unfortunately, one of the adults just passed – John Glenn.

    • Hutch

      Godspeed, John Glenn. I remember the Friendship 7 flight so well. It was inspiring, like nothing seems to be these days.

      • yyyaz

        First live space teevee I remember. Blinking light moving along a sine wave showing where he was during every second of 3 laps around Earth. Epic.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Just saw. He led one incredible life.

    • Maddogjohn

      He was the real deal.

      • weejee

        On so many levels. He will be missed.

    • artem1s

      Not just the first American to orbit, but also the oldest.

  • Hutch

    Colbert’s like a palate-cleanser after eating all this cabinet nominee shit all week.

  • Scooby

    Is it actually possible to talk too much about pizza?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I don’t think so.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      pizza pizza

    • kindness

      As long as you aren’t discussing that tasty cassarole called Chicago style. It’s tasty but it isn’t pizza.

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Actually, deep dish is starting to get a bit old hat around here now. Wood fire Neapolitan pizza is where it’s at now. We’ve got 3 places in my general area that are all really good; Forno Rosso, Antica Pizzeria and Sapori Napolitani. Can’t get anything better this side of Campania.

        • SigDeFlyinMonky

          Neapolitans are fuckin’ nuts! Read the Decameron!

      • ahughes798

        Them’s fightin’ words, my friend. Chicago pizza is usually thin, with a doughy crust. Not like the Ketchup on a cracker shit people eat in NYC.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Can I marry him and/or any other awesome celebrity and/or normal non-famous person by proxy?

  • Moebym, Resistance Pilot

    In this new reality, I am guilty of being a secret Communist spy for China until proven otherwise! Someone tell Alex Jones!

    • Hutch

      You’re lucky. I’m just a “useful idiot.”

      • Maddogjohn

        Fellow traveller here.

    • whitroth

      Don’t be a sucker. Why, I’m *still* waiting on my check from the Kremlin for all those years of going to demonstrations in the sixties and seventies…..

    • mml1996

      Damn. I keep telling my parents that being a Monsanto shill is a regular job.

  • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

    Man, he really gave them a pizza his mind, didn’t he?

    • Maddogjohn

      Where do you get the crust?

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      Here we go with the cheesy puns.

      • dslindc

        I prefer the saucy comments myself.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          You guys are always topping each other aren’t you?

          • arglebargle

            PEPPERONI!!1!

            How does this work?

          • Come here a minute

            How does this work? Let an expert show you:

            ANCHOVY SAD TO SEE OBAMA GO!

            You’re welcome.

          • ahughes798

            Yes, it’s a sausage fest sometimes. Olive to read them, though.

        • Oblios_Cap

          He peppered them with criticism.

      • Historicat

        I never sausage comments.

        • Pisto75666

          They really crust the line this time.

    • yyyaz

      Truly deep dished it to them.

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      Colbert’s wit really slices his enemies.

    • kindness

      Colbert really stuffed their crusts now, didn’t he?

    • tomamitai

      They really cheesed him off.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I mean this in the nicest way possible: GROW THE FUCK UP.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0b8e8f10de49876495413779411443b7f093d38ebe972424e9aa6eb8fa70a928.jpg

    And I can’t wait to watch the clip after I get my two dogs to the vet (they’re fine, they just need their shots.) BBL…

    • arglebargle

      I could use a few shots myself. Oh wait…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Took mine in about a month ago. Good times.

      • ahughes798

        Dogs are so easy to take to the vet….compared to shoving a terrified cat into a small container.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I just got a good review and a raise. The pervert sex pizzas are on me!

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      Congrats!!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        If they only knew how much of my day was spent here! I guess I must be really good to waste all this time and still get the job done.

        • yyyaz

          Lotsa bosses hate on overachievers.

    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      Sex Pizza is going to be the name of my next band.

      • kindness

        It’s the sauce?

    • Paul

      Yaaaayyyyy!!!!

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Good on you!

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    I still don’t quite understand the logical jump from pizza to trafficking children, but then again I’m not a right wing moron that grasps onto every conspiracy theory like a drowning man grasps at a life ring.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      There’s no leap to be made. It was deliberately created to mislead people. They tested people’s responses to rumors and found one that stuck then ran with it.

      • Maddogjohn

        Because who among us hasn’t imagined that pizza parlours are connected underground to child sex rings?

        • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

          No. Because your typical conservative wanted to hear something bad about the Hillary emails. So they found a way to tie something boring (pizza) to something bad (child abuse). It didn’t have to be logical it just had to fit their psychological need to say something bad about her. They could have just as easily said the pizza place was part of a drug ring but they went with child abuse. My guess is that their research showed that women would react strongly to child abuse. So associating Hillary with that made them think twice about her.

          • cosmiccowgirl

            Plus, most of Hillary’s biggest accomplishments have to with advocating for women and children, so those are areas right wingers want to target. Thanks to Bill, they’ve had no trouble coming up with ways to undermine her credibility as pro-woman, but they have literally nothing to go after related to children.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Does the Pope shit in the woods?

    Yes, but he doesn’t play with it afterwards

    • yyyaz

      Sooooo, the bear is Catholic! I knew it!

  • Vincent Ricola

    I watched the video. Now I am going to light incense and fancy candles and watch it again in my bunk.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Play some Barry White.

  • yyyaz

    Thanks, dad. I needed that.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    What’s Alex Jones going to tell his paste-eaters when the Gropen Führer doesn’t stop the chem trails?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      he’ll blame it on Hillary and Bamz

      obv.

    • kindness

      I read that as GroupOn Fuhrer….my bad. Considering it’s Alex Jones that discount better be phenomenal.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “To me, there is no greater calling … If I can inspire young people to dedicate themselves to the good of mankind, I’ve accomplished something.” – John Glenn, 2002
      As was said when his spacecraft launched in 1962, “Godspeed, John Glenn.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      He lived to be 95. Glenn was a pretty tough old fucker, even if he was one of the Keating Five.

      • artem1s

        the Keating Scandal was Bullshit. The Senate Ethics Committee ruled that the involvement of Glenn in the
        scheme was minimal, and the charges against him were dropped. He was only criticized by the Committee for “poor judgment.”

        sound like any recent ongoing smear campaign? Glenn was being groomed for a Presidential bid and was a near VP pick for RFK and Dukakis. His military background and astronaut status would have been nearly unbeatable. Except the Bush crime family (who had no problem covering up Neal’s part in crashing the Silverado) wanted Glenn out of the picture.

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      They broke the mold when they made him. In some ways, I’m glad he didn’t live to actually see Trump in the White House.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      The passing of Greg Lake leaves a lump in my throat similar to the one I felt 36 years ago today when John Lennon was murdered and again when George Harrison passed 15 years ago. They were all musicians I admired and emulated as best I could.

      But hearing of the death of John Glenn is a whole different feeling – like a punch in the gut. I was 11 years old when he blasted off from Cape Canaveral to circle the earth 3 times. I stayed home from school that day so I could watch every minute of it on TV because that was a big fucking deal in those days. At that time, it was a novelty to see a jet airliner fly over and here was a man going into outer space and doing 3 laps around the planet in less time than an average school day.

      Losing a childhood hero is almost as bad as losing a friend. My snark machine will be in the shop for a little while.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Greg Lake passed away today. What a shitty year 2016 has been. Fuck it.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Yet Iggy and Keef live on. Heroin must have some secret restorative powers.

      • Walter Wellstone

        I know, right?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        It’s time to consider what kind of a world we’ll be leaving Keith Richards when we’re gone.

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          Cockroaches all the way down.

          • tomamitai

            And Twinkies also, too.

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            And Cher. Don’t forget Cher.

        • YayConspiracy

          I wouldn’t wanna live in that world.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            You won’t. He’ll outlive us all.

        • yyyaz

          One in which Mick’s genes are spread globally.

          http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-38254552

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            My gawd, the man is a great-grandfather…

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I didn’t know. I don’t know what to say. I loved his music. I wasn’t a big collector or anything, but… that old Crimson and ELP stuff – I loved it. RIP Greg.

  • bookish
    • Mr. Blobfish

      The Presidential Inaugural Committee is struggling to lock down top talent for next month’s inauguration, The Wrap reports.

      “They are willing to pay anything,” a source told the website. “They told me, ‘We’ll pay their fees.’ Most of these artists’ fees are in the six to seven figures.”

      The report states the Trump team wants “to do better than Kid Rock and Ted Nugent,” two well-known conservative performers.

      *snicker*

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I hope to fucking god they’re stuck with Kid Rock and Ted Nugent, and all those GOP assholes are forced to listen to that shit.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          At a fancy dress ball, tuxedos and gowns, no less.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’m thinking Neil Young and Springsteen would great.

        • calliecallie

          Meatloaf might be willing.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        And now appearing by special request: Kid Rock and Ted Nugent!

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Maybe they can do some of that hologram magic and get Sonny Bono?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Hey, Sonny was a Republican, but I refuse to believe he would have been on board with these assholes. Refuse.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Okay, fair point.

      • OrG

        I’d like to see Rage Against The Machine do it.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          Unfortunately the cast of Hamilton is all booked up through summer.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Maybe they could get Stephen Colbert. He did a really great set the last time he worked with a Republican administration.

      • cafiene

        What a great opportunity to protest though.

      • Maddogjohn

        Quick, get Branson, Missouri on the line!

        • OrG

          Star Quality

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        See, the artists must be in contact with those poor, deluded little USA Freedom Kids. Get your payment up front kids, Tiny Hands is in the house.

      • Creepoman

        Fiona Apple has a song or two ready.

      • harryr

        “the Trump team wants “to do better than Kid Rock and Ted Nugent”.” Well that bit sounds reasonable.

        • Pisto75666

          I’m sure the entire Conservative party wants to do better than those two but, y’know, CAREERS, and STANDARDS and all of that.

      • artem1s

        damn is Chachi booked in some crappy dinner theater that day?

      • Resistinceisnotfutile

        How about the Duck Dynasty guys doing duck calls? Then a hog calling contest by losers of the last Miss Universe.

    • Doug Langley

      “a cast of hundreds”

      Wow. A production bigger than the audience.

  • Gayer Than Thou
  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    I’ll say it again, someone needs to ask why the major pizza chains weren’t implicated in this.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Or Carl’s Jr. I mean they have the word “Junior” right in their name! How can that not be a code word?

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        Why not McDonald’s? They have a clown?

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          Pennywise, Quarter Pounder foolish

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          the hamburglar does his dirty work

          • Oblios_Cap

            Mayor McCheese liable!

        • Mr. Blobfish

          Officer Big Mac is on the take.

          • Pisto75666

            I KNEW not to trust McDonald’s. Who the hell names a drink the McFlurry anyway?

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          It’s not just fast food. I mean, come on. Baby Ruth bars? And Little Debbie snack cakes?? How obvious do they have to be?

          • tomamitai

            OMG, are Jelly Babies made of real babies? And WHAT ABOUT TEH GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!1! ESPECIALLY THE SAMOANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿

          • Pisto75666

            And what exactly IS a Tagalong anyway? Very suspicious.

      • Maddogjohn

        “Subway” sounds mighty suspicious to me . . .

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        The owner of Carl’s is the pick for labor. He’s against raising minimum wage.

        • kindness

          He’s against minimum wage all together.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          And he’s in favor of replacing all his employees with robots. So this job should work out well for him.

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            Yep. Good thing there are no child sex trafficking rings at his restaurants.

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            Or are there……..

          • Latverian Diplomat

            We’ll start with the Hardee’s on Caprica, and move on from there.
            — Andrew Pudzer

      • Doug Langley

        And what’s up with Pizza Hut, hmmm? We all know what happens in huts!!

    • Vincent Ricola

      I read on reddit Papa John puts ground up trafficked children directly into his pizza. Good enough for me.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        I believe it. Seriously, it might be the only way to stop the crazies. Make one of them attack a big chain and you’ll see how quickly they put a stop to it.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’m betting that Herman Cain is involved somehow, too, also.

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            Mr. Gatti’s. That screams perversion.

    • Jenny

      The pizza dragnet witch hunt has now spread to East Side Pies. This is relevant to Wonkette because wonkers met up with our Editrix there a few years ago. The reason for their accusations? Wall graffiti. Fucking idiots.

      • Johnatx

        And some of their employees have blue hair. It’s Austin, half the people here have blue or green or pink hair.

      • clubseal

        I learned to not trust bathroom wall graffiti when I called up Jane and she was, in fact, not a slut.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Or Jane, for that matter. That 555 exchange should have been a tip off, I guess.

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            And when you call 867-5309 it’s not Jenny.

          • Doug Langley

            And she doesn’t show you a good time!

            Uh, educated guess.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      Who’s your Papa John?

      • Resistinceisnotfutile

        Needs a comma.

  • Spurning Beer

    I suppose it’s fortunate that lactose intolerance has kept me from a life of child molesting.

    • clubseal

      Thanks, Tofutti!

  • Mpeg

    These perpetual conspiracies are good news for the Drudge Sirens that felt underused being only deployed for every-so-often “special” scandals, and now have morphed away from the fedora-dude’s homepage and into the frontal lobe of every mouthbreathing cretin where they can flash round-the-clock~

  • JVisconti

    Did the Founding Fathers ever envision a country where the off spring of Comedy Central, past and present, were the voices of reason? Lurves me Lewis Black said John Adams.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sneaky Hillary, doing child sex rings in basements you literally can’t go to, because they’re not there.

    Given that all Democratic presidential nominees have Time Lord powers, there is most likely a doorway to a parallel universe in the pizzeria that Hillary used to access the basement(s).

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Then why doesn’t she save JFK????

      Oh, right…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, one of those doorways. That makes total sense!

    • randomhookup

      The Democrats have all these awesome powers like getting 3 million invisible people to vote in elections, but why don’t they use them to actually win and take power?

  • Johnatx

    OT, but John Glenn just died. 2016 just keeps on sucking

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird
    • John Smith

      A true hero. Something Trump will never understand or be.

      • YoNastyBunny

        He survived the NYC Clap Epidemic of ’89. He can’t get any credit for that??? Man, y’all are tough crowd.

    • Doug Langley

      Okay, okay, I get it. 2016 SUCKS!!!!!

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        We have three weeks left. I’m waiting for the big one.

        • Resistinceisnotfutile

          If this keeps up, there will be nobody left to drive the bus!

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            Well, I would be totally okay if a certain someone wasn’t left to drive his bus next year.

        • Doug Langley

          Place yer betz on the next one who croaks.

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            $20 that guy who did that thing

    • efoveks

      He was one of a few good men who led an incredible life. He was a treasure.

      Okay, who’s cutting the onions around here??

    • HogeyeGrex
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Oh shit. Us olds have vivid memories of him orbiting the Earth in that tin can Mercury space capsule *in space* for goodness sake, and reeling off one memorable sound byte after another. A genuine goddam hero.

  • bookish

    • Ima borrow these links and spread them around.

  • Paperless Tiger

    No sane person would buy into such a ridiculous, obvious lie. What happened to these people? How did they get so paranoid? Why are there so many of them? Why are they taking over the government? This is a national emergency.

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Fox News and hate radio.

      • Resistinceisnotfutile

        Can I just rant here for a sec? My conspiracy-theory loving friend, Steve, is a college-educated, city-dwelling, otherwise normal person who is fun until you bring up politics. Then whatever you bring up receives a confident “That’s a Hillary and Soros plant.” I told him the last time that I saw him that he believes all that shit because he just wants to be the smartest guy in the room with the sekrit knowledge nobody else knows, maybe because he was teased in high school for being short or wearing glasses or something. But really, the next time I see him I’m going to ask him, “If you have all this sekrit knowledge, why the fuck don’t you DO SOMETHING TO HELP? We’re in trouble here! Things are falling apart! Use your vast storehouse of information to fix things! Don’t you love your country? Why do you sit on the sidelines and take pot shots at people who are trying to do something positive? Why didn’t you at least try?” His family has been here as long as mine, and he should be a red-blooded patriot ready to die for his country, but he would rather sit back and believe every idiotic word Alex Jones spews and sit around drinking beer carping at the sheeple than step up to the plate and WORK to HELP.
        Thank you.

        • haroldpp

          counter point: the guy who took his gun on a field trip was “doing something to help”.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      This is a complete guess, but I think deinstitutionalization also had a part to play in this. There are a ton of people with diagnosed mental disorders (particularly things like paranoid schizophrenia) who receive little to no treatment because their care was shoved into their own hands. Then add the internet, with a huge audience of the disturbed and the gullible to enable their delusions. Cook for 20 years.

      • artem1s

        leaded gas and carcinogens in cigarettes caused some serious genetically inherited stoopid is what I’m going with

        • Pisto75666

          Don’t forget the extra preservatives & corn syrup in food.

      • JD Mulvey

        Good thing the Second Amendment lets them have all the assault rifles they want.

      • YetAnotherRebecca

        Don’t forget the stripping of civics education from most public school curricula as well. Most people are disturbingly ignorant when it comes to just how the fuck this thing we call the United States government works – that there are three co-equal branches of government, that it’s the LEGISLATIVE rather than Executive branch that writes laws (although if you know what “legislate” means that should be pretty obvious – but we are stooopid after all), that the First Amendment doesn’t regulate how private companies and citizens can react to the dumb shit that comes out of people’s mouths, etc.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          My AP Government teacher preferred to teach us using the news, and videos on current events, than to use the textbook. He also encouraged debate and discussion rather than lecturing, and actually had us do our own taxes (for those of us with afterschool jobs) and even try our hand at the stock market (our grade was partially based on how well our fake portfolio did over a one-month period).

          • Resistinceisnotfutile

            Brilliant. There should be one of those in every school.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Back when I was in high school – WHICH WAS ONLY 52 YEARS AGO – we spent an entire semester studying critical thinking in great detail with examples of what the textbook was too polite to call utter bullshit, how to analyze it and how to avoid being suckered into it.

          Today, we have actual pundits at actual big-time newspapers and “news” channels who are more fucking gullible than I was when I was eleven.

    • Creepoman

      It’s more faith than reason. See also: religion.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Welcome to the Fifth Great Awakening.

  • clubseal

    I realize that they were the catalyst for the release of the emails, but how exactly is Wikileaks responsible for these subhumans making up this pizza sex ring story? It’s so far fetched, and based off of so little evidence that the people believing it would likely be able to make up such a story based on the back of a cereal box. Not Kellog’s of course, because free speach111!!!1, but still.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      For one, because they deliberately hyped up the release of the emails, with full knowledge that the conspiracy-minded would take them out of context. And because Wikileaks operates under the assumption that government officials are entitled to no level of privacy, as it apparently encourages and publishes hacks of the government without ever coming up with a specific thing they’re searching for. To Assange and his minions, the U.S. is covering up terrible things because they assume it is.

      • clubseal

        Assange definitely went full asshole.

      • JD Mulvey

        They apparently don’t make a similar assumption about Donald Trump. Their involvement in our election was one-sided. They no longer have any credibility.

      • suziq

        Uh yeah, and wikileaks got them from Russia.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Well sure, but I left them out cuz I don’t think even the Russians would have thought we’d come up with something *this* stupid.

    • doktorzoom

      Wikileaks’ Twitter account promoted at least part of the fake story, as well, as if it were a real thing.

      https://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/794247777756860417

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Sure, if you like this sort of thing. Or you could watch me touch Trump’s hair again.
    — Jimmy Fallon

  • Resisting the Urge – Holly

    OT kids but I’m really sad. ELP is and always will be a favorite and when they chose to play Fanfare for the Common Man and Hoedown by Aaron Copeland…..well it simply doesn’t get any better.

    And then there’s John Glenn (a sigh and a tear). Safe flight John.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK92hdp6u18

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0FuFfcCZiE

    • Malaclypse

      Is that an 8 string bass?

    • Courser

      I know, I heard today. I saw them in concert once, at Moby Gym at CSU. Incredible, amazing show. Shit blowing up, sparks everywhere, very impressive. Very much before their time.

  • Vienna Woods

    I watched that this morning. It was epic. The first segment was pretty damn good, also, too:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqenJIkoNgE

    I love Stephen. The only way I would love him more was if he stopped doing those stupid listy things: big giant furry hat, midnight confessions, etc.

    • Resistinceisnotfutile

      Me too. He took over for someone who was so poker-faced it sort of pains me to see his slapstick side on that stage. He’s got so much talent for news parody, I wish he would tone it down some.

      • cosmiccowgirl

        Agree. I can’t get into the slapstick side. It seems so out of place following Letterman and the Colbert Report. That’s why I stopped watching after the first couple of weeks. Still, I need to start at least watching the opening monologue every night just to catch a glimpse of my hometown boy Jon Batiste. He’s so adorable.

        Something I’ve been wondering: Did Colbert ever do a Hungry for Power Games for Hillary Clinton? Those segments were funny. I watched them all on YouTube. I’ve searched but never found a segment for the final fallen “tribute.” I’m guessing he didn’t have the heart to do it.

  • tomamitai

    I remember the good old days when you had to ride public transportation or visit a city park to hear the free range crazies spout their paranoid delusions.

    • azeyote

      and they stood on crates and sometimes held out a hat for tips – the good old days for sure – but thanks to the internet they have been breeding –

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Today, I am proud to be a Colbert fan.

  • Gorillionaire

    I think this Colbert fella could write for Wonkette!

  • cosmiccowgirl

    Finding his voice is a good way to put it. I never could make the jump to the Late Show because it just seemed like such weak tea compared to the Report. But I find myself watching it more since the election.

    It seems like a lot of people in the media are now getting more serious about criticizing Trump, fake news, the alt-right, etc, now that it’s too late. The only comedians who were consistently incisive through the campaign in my view were Sam Bee and Seth Meyers. I realize their shows are less mainstream, so they probably have a lot more leeway in what they can say.

    • JHan

      They were all over the wikileaks stuff like it was cute. There was no curation, dusting up of scandals from nothing. Maybe now they’ll realise it’s not a joke anymore.

      • cosmiccowgirl

        If by “they” you mean almost everyone with some notable exceptions, then I agree.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hugh Laurie was on, and didn’t want to say what he was thinking, but Colbert egged him on. And he said that Clinton seemed just fine to him, and everyone in Europe felt as if they’d missed the first reel where she ate a puppy. I could swear Colbert blushed.

    • Courser

      I may have Tivo-ing Seth Meyers. He’s on way too late for me, but I end up watching a lot of his stuff online.

    • Sophie McMillan

      Conan O brien is also really good

  • HogeyeGrex

    I may need to start watching him again.

  • That’s frickin nuts if some of the hateful-minded masses somehow deduced not only this pizza bullshit but that Colbert himself was “in on it.” Conservatives constantly force liberals/progressives to renounce positions that they NEVER TOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE, which is why we can’t have sensible gun regulations at the federal level for example. And is why I’m glad to see Colbert point it out…”what they want me to say.” Glad to see some in the media trying like hell to turn the tables on that.

  • Incoming Ham

    I’m not going to screen cap it, but there is another rather unfortunate ad/survey placement…

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