全 38 件のコメント

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (15子コメント)

A key feature of my life has been the ability to get the fuck back up.

In some of the leadership Literature, known as Grit.

Study was done to determine whether there was any way to predict who would make it through the initial challenge of West Point, apparently they had a high drop rate. Study found no correlation with physical ability, intelligence, prior performance on tests and so on. Only thing, they defined as GRIT predicts outcomes. Not necessarily rocket high success necessarily, but at least making it.

[–]bowhunter6 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Grit is the single most important attribute to cultivate in life, period. And it is the most important thing I am trying to pass on to my boys.

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I am not sure where I got it, or came by it. But I don' remember my parents teaching me this grit thing. I don't want to say "it just happened" because obviously not. Still. How do you teach it?

[–]bowhunter6 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well, I'd say by not sparing them from the natural consequences of their mistakes (within reason, or course), by demonstrating to them that you never quit during difficult circumstances, and by then putting them in situations that challenge them. I like to use hunting as a good way of teaching grit. It's cold, it's boring, it's miserable, but if you stick it out and master yourself and your skill, the results are pretty awesome (free delicious meat!). I've found hunting and sports to be the best tools for teaching grit, though mine are just starting each. I'm sure others can elaborate.

DEMONSTRATING grit is the single most effective way to teach them, though, as with all of the other qualities you hope to pass on.

[–]stonepimpletilistsHARD CORE NAVY RED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Be a shitty stepfather, was how I got it.

"You aren't a man until you beat the shit out of your old man" Was the lesson I was given. Also, if you are sitting at home at 17, and can't wait to move out of the house as soon as possible, they probably never gave you the drive and grit.

Unfortunately, this goes completely against the 'be his friend' narrative people push now

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think I just got the "ok fine, figure out how you fucked up" line followed by a lot of the "How do you consider this NOT a failure" line.

Never got the shit beaten out of me by family. Don't have that reference point.

[–]stonepimpletilistsHARD CORE NAVY RED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

yeah, asking me about positive male role models is asking for shitty advice :\

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

eh, you know the theory enough.

ego aside I think if you had a baby drop on you from above and you chose to take care of it, you would do just fine.

[–]SampsonBrassMountain Man 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lord a mercy I would NOT want to see that offspring. Imagine a tiny little Stoney, a polylingual little Pebble, chivvying all the other kids on the playground:

"Heh...heh...go ahead ask your dad what a plow horse is...I dare ya"

I can see it now, the other parents shaking their heads and talking about how "something needs to be done about that Pebble kid."

[–]HobbesTheBrave [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

angeladuckworth dot com

The book is worth it. She goes methodically through the ins and outs of grit. What grit is. How you practice it. How you teach it. And so on.

[–]Aaren_Augustine 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

So basically brute force?

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

grit

the mental ability to keep going through pain and discomfort

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think this is developed through a series of challenges which force you to find comfort in the suck.

When your comfortable with pain, there's not much that can phase you.

[–]BobbyPeru 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I like this idea of grit, but my biggest strength in my live is being underestimated. It's provides enough room to become who I want to be. I guess that's a form of grit, but the element of surprise makes it even more powerful.

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Grit is internal. Being underestimated is external.

[–]latibia 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (9子コメント)

I smile in rubble. Sometimes when you've lost everything it's the only thing left to do. It's liberating.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Rock bottom is a solid foundation from which you can build your new empire.

[–]latibia 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Thanks. I'm stealing that ^

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (5子コメント)

It's a gift, Merry Christmas

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (4子コメント)

so culturally insensitive.

[–]SampsonBrassMountain Man 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Who could know more about grit than the Chosen People? It's all that working on Christmas does if for you.

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

gotta work sometime. We only got the ~60 days a year to exploit the rest of the world.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I forgot about the Kwanzaa crowd, happy(?) Kwanzaa /u/Scurvemuch

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

better. Let my peeeeeepleeeeee gooooooooooo

[–]redearththeory 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I used to have a photo from my first deployment where I was covered in nastiness and I had the biggest, most stupid smile on.

I know that smile. The same condition can be found in heavy contact martial arts. When you're getting ready for a fight, the guys in your gym destroy you to get you ready. The heavy sparring, face smashed up, pools of sweat all over the ring, no politeness, or girlie bullshit, just strength, sweat and brotherhood. You might win, you might lose, but you'll bring a fucking war. There's a purity in that. Its simple in a way few other things are.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's a purity in that

This is it, this is the purpose of my post. Finding that purity in life, beautifully done man. Sometimes I write and others polish it up better than I could, you hit the nail on the head.

In the rage, in the grind, in the hardest moments of life you can experience the purity of masculinity, true joy in chaos.

[–]ex_addict_broDivorced - MRP Approved 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You got that "Divorce" part pretty straight. Yes, that's exactly what happens.

In some of my darkest moments I felt, that me living a proper life is actually the best way to give the world the finger. I always been a kind of rebel inside, so this is actually an interesting situation, when I find out, that the best way to do that was to take care of my kids and save money.

What am I getting ready for? I'm getting ready for smear campaigns, for "parental alienation", for this kind of bullshit. There is no way to fix crazy. There is no way for a professional victim to own her own shit. I'm preparing mentally for being sued for child support by my own kids when they're old enough (because, why not?); I'm preparing mentally for paying that child support in case my kids become drug addicts (because law allows that); I'm preparing mentally for all this crazy shit that can come and I want to actually, genuinely feel, that I don't matter that much and I don't actually care too much. Don't get me wrong, this does not mean I'm ignoring my kids today, because I am not. I'm just preparing myself. Just in case.

Godspeed.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

me living a proper life is actually the best way to give the world the finger.

It truly is, the world wants you to fail, miss your wife, etc.

Fuck em'

As for preparing for all that is to 'possibly' come, I wrote a post on Negative Visualizations earlier today which deals with exactly that.

[–]RP_SuitScholar 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Spot on. Went from an air mattress in a 700 sq ft apt to California King in a 2700 sq ft house. I was equally content in both. If I lost my marriage or my job. I would be sad for a day, then get back to Lifting, Reading, and being at peace with myself.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Real world example of exactly what I'm saying.

This isn't 'theory' it's masculine living

[–]addictedtoyourfaceUnplugging 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

The awesome thing about rock bottom is that it eliminates fear. Most people are so afraid of the bottom, because they can't see it and the unknown is scary. Once you're there looking up you're not afraid anymore and will take the risks necessary to achieve success.

The first time I realized this is when I was laid off a month before my kid was born and right after that I got into a bad accident and no longer had insurance. That was hard and scary, but I made it. Next job I had I was treated like shit from the very start. 2 months later I put in my 2 weeks. Instead of letting me go they put me in a new position and gave me a raise. Never would have had the balls previously.

I almost feel sorry for guys who have never truly been tested. How else are you gonna know what you're made of and what your potential is?

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I believe that until a man tastes raw unfiltered pain, he'll never achieve his maximum potential.

[–]bowhunter6 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

“We must remember that one man is much the same as another, and that he is best who is trained in the severest school.” – Thucydides

[–]BobbyPeru 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's cool, but why not just tell the truth about why you were smiling? Your post reminds me of the Manson book "The Art Of Giving Less Fucks," how he discusses anything worth having takes great effort to get.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's in the post man, men find joy in great effort.

[–]BobbyPeru 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep I just happen to be reading the Manson book right now