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How do I kick it to my female roommate? (self.relationship_advice)

Retspihi が 投稿

Can I get some neutral advice?

-I'm 24 she's 32, month to month rent only for 3-4 months. Met her from rental agency -moved in same night we met -1 bedroom she sleeps in living room, I have the bedroom -it's day 3 and we've smoked weed twice so far and had food -she's single and works all day and doesn't really go out -seems friendly but we're still strangers so no real signs to pick up yet from her

How do I escalate the best possible way to FWB. I can always find another roommate if it gets weird but could care less if not.

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[–]PurplePlurple [スコア非表示]  (9子コメント)

'I can always find another roommate if she isn't interested in fucking me' - did I get that right?

[–]nathan19601_deninard [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

That's what I got from it.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (7子コメント)

Correct but I'm not a weird guy I could care less just wouldn't mind a fuck buddy

[–]PurplePlurple [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Then don't make a move. Talk about uncomfortable, man. It's only been a couple of damn days - calm your dick and read the room. You've done some stuff that friends do - it may mean absolutely nothing - there's a reason you don't have enough signs... maybe you should wait for some signs.

For someone who doesn't care, you seem particularly eager for something tk happen. If you 'could care less' - then try caring less; my guess is you meant you couldn't care less?

Maybe you should look for a fuck buddy some other way.

[–]Platos_slow_brother [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

just wouldn't mind a fuck buddy

And there are 3.5 billion potentials who are not obligated to keep living with you if you faceplant on your attempt at seduction. Start looking in that larger pool, where the risk of really awkward outcomes is much less.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (4子コメント)

I already said I can find a new place easily. Why are you doing a risk analysis when I didn't ask for one?

[–]Platos_slow_brother [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

Why are you doing a risk analysis when I didn't ask for one?

Personal failing. I also raise issues of safety and risk when I see someone juggling blowtorches and gasoline, particularly if they are near others while doing so.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Maybe give me tips on flirting or relating my intentions covertly

[–]PurplePlurple [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Maybe take what you can get instead of trying to dictate the remarks people have to share with you. You want the perspectives and opinions of other people, you are going to get exactly that. Stop whining about it, kid.

[–]PurplePlurple [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

It's an open forum and people come here to share their thoughts. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the fuckin kitchen.

[–]samzimms [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Tell her IMMEDIATELY what your plans are and what you want from her so she can start finding a new place to live.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Oh god, this subreddit is terrible. As if I'm trying to assault this woman.

Fuck off kindly

[–]murderousbudgie [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I don't think you understand the meaning of roommate OR FWB.

[–]angeleyed_cumslut [スコア非表示]  (7子コメント)

You could just ask. "Hey, would you ever consider <whatever you are down with here>?" But if she says no, FFS drop it like it's hot.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (6子コメント)

That's too direct

[–]angeleyed_cumslut [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

As a 35 year old woman, I assure you, at this stage of life, we prefer direct.

Edit: I also think that /r/sex would be a better channel for this question since your priority is seduction rather than cohabitation.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (4子コメント)

Okay. What signs should I give off? I was thinking maybe sometime next week "wanna get some drinks and a movie?"

We've already watched tv and smoked together

[–]angeleyed_cumslut [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

I think that's a good idea. She may be much more amenable to the pitch if she has a better feel for you and enjoys your company.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

I feel I'll have to wait until the weekend or something.

Asking to drink is fairly direct ?

[–]angeleyed_cumslut [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Asking to drink only communicates you are interested in her company. It does not communicate that you are immediately interested in sex. At some point, you will have to be a little vulnerable and risk rejection.

Whatever you do though, if she declines your offer --PLAY. THAT. SHIT. COOL.

I have been in a similar situation with a younger guy, although we didn't cohabitate. He made the FWB offer, I politely declined because I had my sights set on an LTR with someone else and he took the rejection like a champ. Stayed friendly and civil. As fate would have it, things didn't pan out for me romantically, and weeks later, I reconsidered that earlier offer and decided to take him up on it since he had demonstrated his ability to be a chill adult.

We had our fun, things just naturally came to a close over time, and we're still civil. It can happen. Good luck.

[–]dddeeefffggg [スコア非表示]  (14子コメント)

What are you trying to escalate this to?

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (13子コメント)

Fuck buddy

[–]dddeeefffggg [スコア非表示]  (12子コメント)

That's what I thought, just wanted to confirm before telling you how desperate, pathetic, and creepy that comes across as. Let this girl live in peace without having some weirdo get over excited and try to bone her because she gave him a little attention. There are plenty of other women out there, don't harass the one you live with and hurt HER living situation. Who cares about yours.

[–]Platos_slow_brother [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

Maybe---just maybe (i.e., most definitely)---you should just take a step back and let your RENT-PAYING co-tenant have a place to go at the end of the day without her having to contend with some guy angling on her.

If she is interested, that likely will come out in the natural course of things, over time. But at day three, I suggest you just let her settle in, and leave her alone. And unless she is quite obviously interested, you are likely best off leaving her very much in the category of a co-worker or other similar "do not shit where you eat" section of female associates.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

That's what I'm asking. How do I escalate over time. I have common sense

[–]PurplePlurple [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

How do you normally escalate over time? What's your experience in this department? What's been your success? How have you dealt with failure? Is a roommate is good idea to angle on? (Generally, no.) The trick to eacalation is that, you may hit a mark you can't escalate past, and that might not go further than chilling out and being friendly. What do things look like now? Propinquity may take effect, but you have to give that time.

[–]Retspihi[S] [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I've a good looking guy and don't have trouble with women. I take rejection well.

She's new to this and so am I. It's her place

[–]thetrueuncool [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

next time you get high just say, "you seem like a reasonably well-adjusted and not unattractive woman, what say we get naked and see what happens?"

[–]PurplePlurple [スコア非表示]  (4子コメント)

OP couldn't possibly make her feel threatened or uncomfortable, huh.

Seriously, what the fuck.

[–]thetrueuncool [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

Look, it's either that or he walks in, dick in hand and screams, "YOU WANT SOME OF THIS??"

[–]PurplePlurple [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

You must be new to relationships. Your stipulated either/or is wholly naive and unrealistic. That or you're intentionally narrow and going for cheap and immature humor.

[–]thetrueuncool [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

And I think that you are just doing it wrong. You're doing it all wrong.

[–]Platos_slow_brother [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I thought it was hysterical. You sure that you are not Andy Kaufman's ghost?