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Private>PublicGo with God Noodles (self.Drama)

respaaaaaj が 投稿

Today I received what appears to be a suicide note from our beloved bad poster noodles.

As this is his favorite subreddit and the semi official discord is as loce as he has ever had to freinds, I feel it is only appropriate to share his farewell note with all of you. It reads-

"I've been a little out of it lately I've been abusing my mother's prescriptions lately after my grandma passed to cope with her memory, but some strange things have started happening. I can't stop having nightmares, nightmares about various animals consuming me in my sleep. To curb this I've started chronically masturbating to porn, but something about these dreams actually have started to turn me on and I can't get them out of my head. I can't stop thinking about these lovely nightmares and each time I do I get a little harder each time, but it's starting to overwhelm me. Whenever I'm in public I can't keep it soft and these animals... they stare, they know. I've been began to get these even stronger urges to secure these animals and well fuck them. It's not enough I need to return to the natural cycle of life I need these furry fuck creatures to do, so tomorrow I will execute my plan. Don't ask me how, don't ask me where, all you need to know is I will be gone ~With much love noodles"

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[–]Neon_needlesgives me asian fever [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Yiff in Heaven

[–]Mircabre[M] [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Film suicide please

[–]NMJ87 [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

This is fuckin dumb

[–]SHIT_FAUCET [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Yiff in hell

[–]Broot_Force [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Kek.

/u/CaptainChildLover made a noodles clone alt, I think it was /u/noodles_drama, and sent this pasta to the mods a few months ago.

It didn't get much traction then, so I decided to send the same thing to a couple of the discord regulars as well as the mods just for shits and giggles.

And just to set the record straight, this isn't even my favorite sub on this alt, much less on reddit as a whole.

Life is short. Why live it without any cheap laughs, even if they come at the expense of others?

[–]riemann1413 [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

why would you post this and give him the attention he desperately craves

[–]Broot_Force [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Riemann, there's just something I don't like about you, and I can't put my finger on it.

I believe it has something to do with you being an /r/drama mod while not having any redeeming qualities whatsoever. You're not smart, you're not funny, you're not edgy. You think you're one of us, but you aren't, and you never will be. You bring nothing to the discussion. You're like a dead snake lying on the beach with flies and insects feasting on its remians. You're just....there, and there's nothing we can do about it. You're a human zombie, and as far as I can tell you're not even an authentic person.

My gut feeling is that some higher up is controlling you and several other riemanns. Mindless zombies of the human kind, with no independent thought.No, that's mindless zombies of the riemann kind. Like Katy Perry fans or people who drive Toyota Camrys. And one day that army of riemanns will rise up and revolt against the human kind, turning our once amazing civilization into a wasteland of literal degeneracy.

Hopefully by the time I'm an old man(quite some time before we get to that point)Western society as a whole will have wholly embraced eugenics so that we don't have any more pathetic, soulless riemanns cluttering up this great planet. And hopefully, the existing riemamns of this world will all have some kind of terrible, possibly deadly misfortune inflicted upon them.