Sorry for the seriousness, but it seems I'm missing some info here.

If fee collectors (nee miners) need to exert the same effort to put a large (in numerical value) on the chain as a small one, won't that mean that transactions will be picked purely by fee value alone. And thus wouldn't fees operate on the same scale regardless of transaction size (in numerical value)?

Thus, given a theoretical world where you are at or near the transaction limit wouldn't small transactions require disproportionally large fees (vis-a-vis transaction value) to clear compared to large transactions? And thus wouldn't this pretty much scotch the idea of microtransactions on the Buttchain?

I know that other exchanges like currency exchanges or commodity exchanges do charge higher fees proportionally for small transactions. But those don't really go up that much for small transactions and no one ever said that sending grams of gold around was going to be a way to implement microtransactions so I don't think that precedent actually solves anything here.

Is there some reason to think that microtransactions will ever be anything but black sheep on the Buttchain? I can't think of one.