There’s been quite a few posts on here from fellow MGTOW’s who choose to indulge in the occasional online dating, which is fair play. A male producing testosterone will naturally seek out the need to unload a quick pump and dump. Whether it be via hooker, hook up or hooking your palm around the thing.

Whilst browsing other posts on Reddit, often r/cringepics - I’ve come across the brutal honesty of female nature demonstrated on their online dating profiles. Below her pictures of duck face, cleavage supported by rubber sacks and dog mouth inserts off instagram comes the text which is often put in simple terms “I’m washed up - pussy worn - need new baby daddy to look after me and pay for stuff” So I thought as a MGTOW, how would I structure an online dating profile? – staying true and honest, just like our female counterparts. . .

Well . . . I’m a selfish, self centred egotistical dude who loves nothing more than to play the numbers game with woman.

Should you make the cut I’ll pre warn you that I don’t care for dating, dining or dancing in the moonlight. However I could use a cook, cleaner, and someone to occasionally iron my pants and offer my sexual favours like Netflix – On demand.

I like to leave my dirty socks on the bedroom floor and yes, they stink! Just a little heads up should you be lucky enough to make it there ;) Also if the toilet seat is left down I will likely pee all over it.

Granted you’ve already noticed, but it’s safe to say I’m so physically in shape I’m surprised the government haven’t started taxing me on it yet. And alongside that, I have a shed tonne of cash that I could fill a never ending well with - Yet I’m so tight when I pull a £20 note from my pocket the queen’s eyes squint at the light. So it’s drink on you cupcake! :p

Regardless, I’m pretty much flooded with options to the point I’m considering putting sandbags down my pants, but there’s every much chance you could be lucky enough to be added to my wall of fame . . or shame if we wake up the morning after and you’re a monster. Make up is an incredible thing!

So good luck, and who knows you could be the next to get their pussy burned!

PS. Don’t message me if you’re fat. If I wanted to play with a whale I would go to fucking Sea World!