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Dr. Robin DiAngelo explains why white people implode when talking about race.
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I am white. I have spent years studying what it means to be white in a society that proclaims race meaningless, yet is deeply divided by race. This is what I have learned: Any white person living in the United States will develop opinions about race simply by swimming in the water of our culture. But mainstream sources—schools, textbooks, media—don’t provide us with the multiple perspectives we need.
Yes, we will develop strong emotionally laden opinions, but they will not be informed opinions. Our socialization renders us racially illiterate. When you add a lack of humility to that illiteracy (because we don’t know what we don’t know), you get the break-down we so often see when trying to engage white people in meaningful conversations about race.
Yes, we will develop strong emotionally laden opinions, but they will not be informed opinions. Our socialization renders us racially illiterate. |
Mainstream dictionary definitions reduce racism to individual racial prejudice and the intentional actions that result. The people that commit these intentional acts are deemed bad, and those that don’t are good. If we are against racism and unaware of committing racist acts, we can’t be racist; racism and being a good person have become mutually exclusive. But this definition does little to explain how racial hierarchies are consistently reproduced.
Social scientists understand racism as a multidimensional and highly adaptive system—a system that ensures an unequal distribution of resources between racial groups. Because whites built and dominate all significant institutions, (often at the expense of and on the uncompensated labor of other groups), their interests are embedded in the foundation of U.S. society.
While individual whites may be against racism, they still benefit from the distribution of resources controlled by their group. Yes, an individual person of color can sit at the tables of power, but the overwhelming majority of decision-makers will be white. Yes, white people can have problems and face barriers, but systematic racism won’t be one of them. This distinction—between individual prejudice and a system of unequal institutionalized racial power—is fundamental. One cannot understand how racism functions in the U.S. today if one ignores group power relations.
We have organized society to reproduce and reinforce our racial interests and perspectives. Further, we are centered in all matters deemed normal, universal, benign, neutral and good. |
This systemic and institutional control allows those of us who are white in North America to live in a social environment that protects and insulates us from race-based stress. We have organized society to reproduce and reinforce our racial interests and perspectives. Further, we are centered in all matters deemed normal, universal, benign, neutral and good. Thus, we move through a wholly racialized world with an unracialized identity (e.g. white people can represent all of humanity, people of color can only represent their racial selves).
Challenges to this identity become highly stressful and even intolerable. The following are examples of the kinds of challenges that trigger racial stress for white people:
- Suggesting that a white person’s viewpoint comes from a racialized frame of reference (challenge to objectivity);
- People of color talking directly about their own racial perspectives (challenge to white taboos on talking openly about race);
- People of color choosing not to protect the racial feelings of white people in regards to race (challenge to white racial expectations and need/entitlement to racial comfort);
- People of color not being willing to tell their stories or answer questions about their racial experiences (challenge to the expectation that people of color will serve us);
- A fellow white not providing agreement with one’s racial perspective (challenge to white solidarity);
- Receiving feedback that one’s behavior had a racist impact (challenge to white racial innocence);
- Suggesting that group membership is significant (challenge to individualism);
- An acknowledgment that access is unequal between racial groups (challenge to meritocracy);
- Being presented with a person of color in a position of leadership (challenge to white authority);
- Being presented with information about other racial groups through, for example, movies in which people of color drive the action but are not in stereotypical roles, or multicultural education (challenge to white centrality).
Not often encountering these challenges, we withdraw, defend, cry, argue, minimize, ignore, and in other ways push back to regain our racial position and equilibrium. I term that push back white fragility.
David Shankbone/Wikimedia Commons
This concept came out of my on-going experience leading discussions on race, racism, white privilege and white supremacy with primarily white audiences. It became clear over time that white people have extremely low thresholds for enduring any discomfort associated with challenges to our racial worldviews.
We can manage the first round of challenge by ending the discussion through platitudes—usually something that starts with “People just need to,” or “Race doesn’t really have any meaning to me,” or “Everybody’s racist.” Scratch any further on that surface, however, and we fall apart.
It became clear over time that white people have extremely low thresholds for enduring any discomfort associated with challenges to our racial worldviews. |
Socialized into a deeply internalized sense of superiority and entitlement that we are either not consciously aware of or can never admit to ourselves, we become highly fragile in conversations about race. We experience a challenge to our racial worldview as a challenge to our very identities as good, moral people. It also challenges our sense of rightful place in the hierarchy. Thus, we perceive any attempt to connect us to the system of racism as a very unsettling and unfair moral offense.
The following patterns make it difficult for white people to understand racism as a system and lead to the dynamics of white fragility. While they do not apply to every white person, they are well-documented overall:
Segregation: Most whites live, grow, play, learn, love, work and die primarily in social and geographic racial segregation. Yet, our society does not teach us to see this as a loss. Pause for a moment and consider the magnitude of this message: We lose nothing of value by having no cross-racial relationships. In fact, the whiter our schools and neighborhoods are, the more likely they are to be seen as “good.” The implicit message is that there is no inherent value in the presence or perspectives of people of Color. This is an example of the relentless messages of white superiority that circulate all around us, shaping our identities and worldviews.
The Good/Bad Binary: The most effective adaptation of racism over time is the idea that racism is conscious bias held by mean people. If we are not aware of having negative thoughts about people of color, don’t tell racist jokes, are nice people, and even have friends of color, then we cannot be racist. Thus, a person is either racist or not racist; if a person is racist, that person is bad; if a person is not racist, that person is good. Although racism does of course occur in individual acts, these acts are part of a larger system that we all participate in. The focus on individual incidences prevents the analysis that is necessary in order to challenge this larger system. The good/bad binary is the fundamental misunderstanding driving white defensiveness about being connected to racism. We simply do not understand how socialization and implicit bias work.
Individualism: Whites are taught to see themselves as individuals, rather than as part of a racial group. Individualism enables us to deny that racism is structured into the fabric of society. This erases our history and hides the way in which wealth has accumulated over generations and benefits us, as a group, today. It also allows us to distance ourselves from the history and actions of our group. Thus we get very irate when we are “accused” of racism, because as individuals, we are “different” from other white people and expect to be seen as such; we find intolerable any suggestion that our behavior or perspectives are typical of our group as a whole.
In fact, the whiter our schools and neighborhoods are, the more likely they are to be seen as “good.” The implicit message is that there is no inherent value in the presence or perspectives of people of Color. |
Entitlement to racial comfort: In the dominant position, whites are almost always racially comfortable and thus have developed unchallenged expectations to remain so. We have not had to build tolerance for racial discomfort and thus when racial discomfort arises, whites typically respond as if something is “wrong,” and blame the person or event that triggered the discomfort (usually a person of color). This blame results in a socially-sanctioned array of responses towards the perceived source of the discomfort, including: penalization; retaliation; isolation and refusal to continue engagement. Since racism is necessarily uncomfortable in that it is oppressive, white insistence on racial comfort guarantees racism will not be faced except in the most superficial of ways.
Racial Arrogance: Most whites have a very limited understanding of racism because we have not been trained to think in complex ways about it and because it benefits white dominance not to do so. Yet, we have no compunction about debating the knowledge of people who have thought complexly about race. Whites generally feel free to dismiss these informed perspectives rather than have the humility to acknowledge that they are unfamiliar, reflect on them further, or seek more information.
Racial Belonging: White people enjoy a deeply internalized, largely unconscious sense of racial belonging in U.S. society. In virtually any situation or image deemed valuable in dominant society, whites belong. The interruption of racial belonging is rare and thus destabilizing and frightening to whites and usually avoided.
Psychic freedom: Because race is constructed as residing in people of color, whites don’t bear the social burden of race. We move easily through our society without a sense of ourselves as racialized. Race is for people of color to think about—it is what happens to “them”—they can bring it up if it is an issue for them (although if they do, we can dismiss it as a personal problem, the race card, or the reason for their problems). This allows whites much more psychological energy to devote to other issues and prevents us from developing the stamina to sustain attention on an issue as charged and uncomfortable as race.
Because race is constructed as residing in people of color, whites don’t bear the social burden of race. We move easily through our society without a sense of ourselves as racialized. |
Constant messages that we are more valuable: Living in a white dominant context, we receive constant messages that we are better and more important than people of color. For example: our centrality in history textbooks, historical representations and perspectives; our centrality in media and advertising; our teachers, role-models, heroes and heroines; everyday discourse on “good” neighborhoods and schools and who is in them; popular TV shows centered around friendship circles that are all white; religious iconography that depicts God, Adam and Eve, and other key figures as white. While one may explicitly reject the notion that one is inherently better than another, one cannot avoid internalizing the message of white superiority, as it is ubiquitous in mainstream culture.
These privileges and the white fragility that results prevent us from listening to or comprehending the perspectives of people of color and bridging cross-racial divides. The antidote to white fragility is on-going and life-long, and includes sustained engagement, humility, and education. We can begin by:
- Being willing to tolerate the discomfort associated with an honest appraisal and discussion of our internalized superiority and racial privilege.
- Challenging our own racial reality by acknowledging ourselves as racial beings with a particular and limited perspective on race.
- Attempting to understand the racial realities of people of color through authentic interaction rather than through the media or unequal relationships.
- Taking action to address our own racism, the racism of other whites, and the racism embedded in our institutions—e.g., get educated and act.
The antidote to white fragility is on-going and life-long, and includes sustained engagement, humility, and education. |
“Getting it” when it comes to race and racism challenges our very identities as good white people. It’s an ongoing and often painful process of seeking to uncover our socialization at its very roots. It asks us to rebuild this identity in new and often uncomfortable ways. But I can testify that it is also the most exciting, powerful, intellectually stimulating and emotionally fulfilling journey I have ever undertaken. It has impacted every aspect of my life—personal and professional.
I have a much deeper and more complex understanding of how society works. I can challenge much more racism in my daily life, and I have developed cherished and fulfilling cross-racial friendships I did not have before.
I do not expect racism to end in my lifetime, and I know that I continue to have problematic racist patterns and perspectives. Yet, I am also confident that I do less harm to people of color than I used to. This is not a minor point of growth, for it impacts my lived experience and that of the people of color who interact with me. If you are white I urge you to take the first step—let go of your racial certitude and reach for humility.
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Read more Of Dr. DiAngelo’s insights into racism.
White Fragility and the Question of Trust
White Fragility and the Rules of Engagement
White Women’s Tears and the Men Who Love Them
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Photo: Getty Images
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532 Comments on "White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism"
As a Compliment of this website and the Commentary ,Blog or whatever it is should’ve been named Real Men Standing Ovation it Touches My Heart to read thoughts and opinions expressed by People that Could just turn Their heads the Other way but Choose instead to Become Part of the Solution and Not the Problem
I wonder what the response to this article would be if it was reversed and targeted to “Blacks” or “Yellows”… This article, ironically, is racist.
No it is not. This is a white person talking about white fragility (and so much more) to white people.
Black and brown people, people of color, often write articles to people within there own group.
You say it’s racist as a deflection. So you do not have to listen to her words. So you can dismiss them.
lmao…you realize, that you are doing exactly what this article is addressing…right?
We just can’t admit we’re racist. I have no problem admitting I make stereotypical judgments every day. I can empathise, but unless you’re the victim of systemic racism you just have no idea what it’s like to be Black. You have no concept of being Muslim, Hispanic, gay, Asian, blind, missing a limb or any other identifier that might make you “different”. EVERYBODY notices these things, it’s how you handle it that makes a difference.
We hate Muslims, but we love hummus. Don’t care much for blacks, but can’t live without our sports and music. Nobody wants a straight wedding planner.
Good insight
What kind of person rallies against individualism? What kind of person wants to be judged by group behavior if they do not participate or approve of the behavior in question? Would you prefer to be judged by the actions of others? Do you believe that if someone makes a great accomplishment it is a reflection on you because of your appearance?
Your arguments were articulated beautifully. I think there is disconnect appearing in the culture due to America’s very recent history. Individuality as a concept is a novel intellectual concept. Black Americans had to unite as a group to be recognized as individuals. That type of group think was necessary, so it is much harder to deny the very culture that brought you out of bondage.
I wondered who was going to come on and bleed fragility in their comments. Keyword here: HUMILITY. I wondered if you pondered this article before responding to it in order to allow truths and admittance to surface or was it an immediate knee-jerk reaction to defend your fragility through intellect. Your points are baseless and illustrates exactly what the article is speaking of.
YES!! Thank you.
Even the poorest whites feel superior to people of Color. Again, whitesplaining, is the point of this article. If you don’t make the time to understand the complexities of race, then you are only coming from that white place of comfort and understanding. It’s not enough. Despite politics, the bottom line message to race equity is simply humanitarian.
Jennifer, do you know any “white ” people? I have met people from all walks of life who hate groups of people for no valid reason. Most of the Americans I know don’t feel superior to people because of such superficial similarities.
Spot on!
As a White person, I’m sick of hearing about race. Minorities in America,especially Blacks are favored beyond belief. It’s not the 1920’s anymore, nobody is oppressed. Just shut up and leave me alone. I’m sick of hearing about it.
PS-If Whites are so racist, why do non-Whites constantly want to immigrate to majority White nations and live around us?
By look at the hubris that you just demonstrated by centering white people as the basis for people to immigrate to the USA! Who says they are moving to be near you? Maybe it is the appeal of diversity and opportunities that attract them.
Tired of hearing about? Try fucking living. You aren’t immediately stopped and searched or even killed by the police because of the color of your skin. You aren’t passed over for jobs for guys with criminal records. Until you walk a day in an African American’s shoes, you know nothing about their experience so shove it.
If you’re part of the one percent I can see why you would be saying these things otherwise any of this Divisiveness on Both Sides is not helping things.
Wow! Hot topic I see! Lol
Excellent & brilliant article Dr. DiAngelo.
Anyone who doesn’t see the big picture in your article, has some serious pride issues. Humility is the 1st step to any of these problems being addressed & solved.
No he turned a non-issue into an issue by using Marxist principles. Judging people as individuals instead of racial identities is the best for everyone
Blah….blah…blah…whine…whine…whine…Dear Dr. The reason why people like you are writing these sorts of things is because we have had decades of general peace and prosperity in this country and we are now having to create phantoms based on psychobabble. Possibly a nuclear bomb going off in this country or an actual global war would divert you from opining in your endless free time about bullsh*t that you’ve made up to “white-splain” to the ignorant and uncaring Caucasians about why they are inferior and how bad people of color have it in this country.
“General peace”… What decades of general peace? Oh you mean the decades of you being obviously to racism and aocial injustice in America? Now that it is in your face you don’t like it?
I get it you don’t care about what is, and has been, happening to minorities in America, so how about you continue to live in complete ignorance.
Take your klan hood off. Show us who you are since you are so openly and proudly anti black.
Racism is not goddamn imaginary. Read a fucking history book, you ignorant little cretin.
I would call it white aggression not fragility. Fragility is a word which implies white people are delicate as opposed to black people or “people of colour” as you say who it implies are not delicate or fragile. What are they then? Tough, crude, thick skinned, impervious? There were some valid observations however which I appreciated. Join the movement and help us to gain our freedom; economic emancipation, indigenous rights and worker’s rights. Sign and share this petition to your networks.
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/bringback-the-Culinan-Diamond/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sign-pet
William, I offer that your comment demonstrates the very unconscious bias that it denies, albeit in the form of gender. You refer to Dr. diAngelo with a male pronoun and noun — in fact, Dr. diAngelo is a woman. Now, is this likely the only form of unconscious bias you hold? I submit that the answer is “no.” Welcome to white fragility — and thanks for reading Dr. diAngelo’s piece all the way through, not easy to take that first look.
Unconscious bias? A mountain out of a MOLE HILL:):):)
Commentary post of the day.
What I think is really interesting is that you automatically assumed the author was a male – need I say more
“Yes, an individual person of color can sit at the tables of power, but the overwhelming majority of decision-makers will be white. Yes, white people can have problems and face barriers, but systematic racism won’t be one of them. This distinction—between individual prejudice and a system of unequal institutionalized racial power—is fundamental. “
This article took a depth of self awareness and a uncanny clarity on the issue of race from both a white and black perspective. Robin hit the ball out of the park with this simply written, objective, and profoundly perceptive article.
who cares really?
Obviously, those with I got mine attitudes… and that keeps the institutional racial power going. “If it doesn’t affect me, who cares. Let those suffering it deal with their own problems”
So I guess conversely, a person of color knows exactly what it is like to be white? A rich white man. A poor white man? How can we have a dialogue when neither one of us are supposedly willing to see each other’s point of view? It sounds like the article claims that white folk try to go the wrong way down a two lane street marked with a one way sign, when clearly the road is marked for two way traffic.
wow Josh. First, why assume “neither one of us are supposedly willing to see each other’s point of view?”
Doesn’t the poor white man have to imagine the rich white man’s point of view? Being a white parent to children of color, I easily see that the “white” point of view is the PREDOMINANT point of view. Orphaned in childhood, I obviously was forced to see the POV of those with even one parent in their childhood.
Calm down and read the article again.
Of course we would not inherently know what its like. How CAN anyone learn and empathize with other people’s plights without dialogue? So until white culture as a whole becomes less defensive and ready to drop all attempts at continued discussion about racial issues, the longer the two sides will go without the proper knowledge for widespread empathy.
It is pretty hard not to be defensivery when any time a white tries to talk about race they are called racist and bigot.
Your answer is common sense…hopefully, some day we will all realize this. I grew up in segregation and thought it was natural. The 60’s opened my eyes.
Kudos for missing the point!
So, shame on whites for being white?
No shame on you for not reading a goddamn history book to know that racism is not imaginary and whties are not the victims and I’m white.
thank you for proving the point of this article.
I have had a different experience with black people. But, I will not say your experience is imagined. That is what causes the problems we have now. What do you think created the edge you speak of?
with alot of these comments here i’d say point proven to the author
Exactly.
Good read, many moot points andtough calls on which side of the fence but an educational read.
Still can’t get over the most incognito white last name though, Dr. The Anglo? I mean…