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Girl with questions (self.MGTOW)

whirlbatty09 が 投稿

I understand the MGTOW mindset, considering how embarrassed I am for my fellow females, but I have some questions as to how I fit into all of this. Out of all the complaints I've seen MGTOWs say of women, I find that nearly all of them do not apply to me. I know you've probably heard the NAWALT spiel before, but honestly, its true in my case.

I was raised outside of America (thank God) and only returned in my late teen years to find my beloved country turned into a romantic hellhole. My time abroad, my happily married parents, and my faith shaped me into something that was the complete antithesis of my peers. 20 years old and have never even kissed a man on the mouth. I have a healthy sex drive and know what I like in theory (a reliable, caring, but very dominant man) and it isn't like I don't have the opportunity or the means, i’m just staunchly abstinent.

I eat clean and lift to keep myself looking the best I can (34-25-37), I grow my hair long, I don't get drunk or party, I am not a feminist, i’m libertarian leaning, I hate celebrity culture, I don’t gossip or involve myself in “drama”, I love reading and learning, I focus on personal merit over looks and don’t expect to be showered with gifts (I am uncomfortable with having money frivolously spent on me). I love kids and want to be a mother and I love to cook. I don’t believe in divorce except in the case of severe physical abuse or infidelity, and I would rather hack my own legs off than cheat on anyone (I can’t even read a romance novel where the woman cheats, it’s an immediate turn-off, even in fiction).

I spent so much of my life trying to be best fit for that role. I’m happy to do so, seeing as I enjoy all of these things, but when I look at the actual dating pool, I see a bunch of bunch of people bed-hopping (which I would rather die alone than participate in), a ton of vindictive gold-diggers with no appreciation for men and all they do, and a bunch of men who are understandably jaded. My family tells me I was born in the wrong era and I’ve been called a unicorn before by men online. I want to find the husband i’ve been preparing to meet all my life and devote myself to him and our future children. Unfortunately, I can’t navigate america’s messed-up dating world in order to find him.

What is the MGTOW perspective on women like me, who want to be traditional and don’t fit into the horror stories of the “modern western woman”? Any suggestions for finding a man who wants the same things I do?

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[–]hackableyou 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

Women are no worse evil than men are. The only difference between men and women is that laws and society favor women and power and privilege corrupt people just as they have corrupted women.

It is my contention that if you spend a material time in the United States, you will be just like the women you talk about.

[–]whirlbatty09[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That would require me to change everything about myself. I don't just resist the vices I mentioned, i'm completely repulsed by them. I would also have to betray my faith to be like them. I have become even more traditional in the years I have been back here.

[–]Folwart 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It has already begun with the preconceived notions about this potential partner. The characteristics she named seem innocent enough. Reliable, caring, very dominant, but I would bet that is not the entire list. She is forming a fantasy idealization of this partner. Women do it, men do it, then they get disappointed. The difference, as you said, is one gender holds more power. They do tend to assert that power when they 'feel' disappointed, even though they set themselves up to virtually guarantee disappointment.

[–]ikhwan_arif 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is such a clever troll post and I don't like to engage in this things but credit where credit is due.

No, you're not a unicorn. If you are being honest then be honest. You're not saving yourself for some average guy living in a small apartment with a menial job, despite how loving he is towards you.

No.

You're looking for a 6 foot arrogant, muscular asshole who makes 7 figures a year with a big house and a fancy car.

And that's okay, because this is just nature in action.

Hypergamy is a base instinct for a reason; it ensures that you and your offspring get the best chance of survival in this hostile environment, and it is a hostile world we live in.

Don't fool yourself into thinking you're different, because you're not, and you aren't fooling anyone here. You can fool your husband and I expect that's exactly the kind of man that you'd be fishing for to get married; a tool.

[–]whirlbatty09[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The few dates I've had have been with men under 6 foot. And as for money, sure its great, but I won't put up with an asshole to get it. How could I have a meaningful relationship if I can't respect him or even have an enjoyable conversation with him?

[–]Iseewhateyesee 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

If sincere, keep at it. Why waste what you have? AWALT is meant to be a precaution to us guys because of the social climate a lot of men are undergoing in many western societies. Many have likened it to something as simplistic as treating all snakes as if venomous as to employ caution, yet we know that not all snakes are venomous.

Likewise, if we turn the table AMALT (all men are like that) could be just as useful to a jaded woman. There are always two sides to the coin.

"Only fools rush in", holds much truth as well. I too am American but have parents who were not born in the States, and therefore I too have a slightly skewed perception as to what the status quo spews as "truth"

But again, if this is sincere, and you mean well, why stray? You'll only be doing yourself a favor by carefully analyzing any potential partners and taking the next steps as you've assessed them.

Also, as you've probably read, pair bonding becomes increasingly difficult the more sexual partners you have.

So all things said and done, you're no Unicorn, as no male is a Pegasus. You seem like a well adjusted human female (from what a slight fractal of your MO I can gather from this post, as you surely have many complexities as we humans tend to)

Anyway, best of luck and keep at it

[–]Zombocom1911 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I myself am not pure and chaste , in any way, so I definitely do not seek that in a woman. I prefer wicked , cunning and immoral , personally, because those types of women are exciting. Then again, I'm not looking for a relationship or anything serious, I'm just looking to have fun before I'm old and can't anymore. I think most men would view a virgin as a huge burden. It is not that I think women who sleep around and cheat are bad people, it's that I don't trust such women as long term partners (even if I was interested in one, which I'm not), especially not with finances , and unfortunately "good girls" bore the hell out of me. If you want to find a man like you are looking for, try someone hyper religious who is extremely conservative and follows strict rules of morality.

[–]illegal_toothpaste 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would make friends with women that have the type of relationships that you want

they'll likely have single traditional guys in their social circle

[–]Folwart 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Many people in our society do not understand that their feelings about things are generated from within and are a product of the way they think. External stimuli will affect how we feel, because we allow it, or because we lack the understanding that we have a choice in allowing it. It is not something we are taught, and we are not all lucky and/or bright enough to figure it out on our own. The perception is that it is easier to blame somebody else. It is not true. The cost of that is hidden because we do not know, but we pay the price all the same. At some point the damage becomes irreversible, and they cannot be fixed.

That disappointment stemming from our preconceived idealizations is our own fault. It is a rejection of reality. A fine example of cognitive dissonance it is. I want to face reality, but I want to escape it simultaneously because it is so unreal. It is a wonder any of us are sane, are we sane?

This helped me:

"I do not understand the things I do, I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate." (Romans 7:15)

While the mainstream seems to be flipping what is good as bad and what is bad as good, I find myself flipping the opposite way. I had a lot of bad habits previously, I made excuses, what was bad for me felt good, what was good felt bad, but no more. It took a lot of effort, patience and spirit. Anybody can do it, male, female, but they have to do it. Nobody can do it for them. Happiness, contentment, whatever you seek, it is not found out there, it us not in other people. It is found inside yourself.

Other people can amplify what we have, but if we have primarily negativity (what we do not want), then that gets amplified. 0, nothing, multiplied by anything is still 0. 0, emptiness, has nothing to give either, divided by anything it is erroneous. Interstingly, a negative number multiplied by a negative number returns a positive value. In people, the two negatives can potentially cause positive change because they see themselves, behavior they commit but do not want, in that other person.

Tl;DR Shield yourself from the polarization of society, seek happiness from within not without, be balanced in skepticism and open-mindedness, always be looking to improve the way you think and experience will follow suit, never deal with a dragon, and forgive others for they know not what they do (floundering adult children).