I was only 23 years old. I loved Fallout New Vegas so much, I had all the t-shirts and propaganda posters. I prayed to ObisidiGod every night to thank them for the endless options I had been given. "Roleplayers of the world unite," I said, "you have nothing to lose but your chains." My father hears me and calls me entitled. I knew he was jealous of my commitment to true roleplaying. I called him a casual noob. He slaps me and sends me with a copy of Fallout 4 to go home and play. I'm crying now, and I'm alienated from my true love. I lay in my bed, and I'm without a way to express my inner fantasies. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Geralt. I am so happy. He whispers in my ear, "Let the roleplayers tremble at a Witcher revolution." He grabs me with his powerful hands and places me on my knees. I am ready. I organize a subreddit for this Witcher. He throws those who preorder into the gulag. It hurts so much, but I do it for Geralt. I take up arms against the AAA enablers. I want to contribute to the revolution. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my life with roleplaying consciousness. My father walks in. Geralt looks him straight in the eye and says, "From each according to his S.P.E.C.I.A.L. abilities, to each according to his skill checks." Geralt leaves through the window.

Roleplayers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains.