"untru" /u/riemann1413 typed, chest heaving as he hammered home another shitpost.

Hardly the fittest specimen by most standards, typing the constant geyser of conversational diarrhea on his mechanical keyboard's cherry reds was only made more difficult by the months of accumulated semen, queso blanco, and cheetos dust gumming up the action. On the bright side the moldy residue muffled the sound of typing in the wee hours of the morning, which kept the polish family living upstairs from descending down into his rented basement to tell him to desist his feverish activity.

riemann1413 leaned back in his chair, the simple action resulting in ominous creaking. The metal bearings were badly corroded by the constant moisture and riemann1413's prodigious back sweat. The back of his chair bristled with captured back hair. He stroked his neckbeard, fingers running between the hairs, luxuriously moisturized by the constant production of grease. For such a low effort post he'd probably snag at least a few upvotes, an excellent ROI.

Inadvertently his mind wandered back to the fact that he already made /r/centuryclub. He glanced over at the tail end of the noose poking out of his drawer of workout clothing. His vision narrowed substantially as he looked through corners of his eyes, obstructed by the rolls of facial fat. The double braid should hold this time...

/u/riemann1413 shook himself, an action that sent him jiggling all over. There was no time for such thoughts. Not while /u/Gallowboob had more post karma than he had comment. Interlacing his pudgy fingers, riemann1413 cracked his knuckles, ready to get back into the action.