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funny

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Welcome to r/Funny:
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all 43 comments
[–]theONLYman2c 77 points78 points79 points  (1 child)
Honeywell. When you don't just want a divorce, you want a lifetime of evil vindictive pleasure wherever there's wifi.
[–]TheGuyAboveMeEatsPoo 35 points36 points37 points  (1 child)
I mean if you wanted to be a real asshole, wait til they're gone and shut it off. Freeze and bust the pipes.
[–]tamethewild 16 points17 points18 points  (0 children)
then crank it back up so they wouldn't know what happened and have a flooded basement

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Comments, continued...

[–]purget 23 points24 points25 points  (2 children)
That's just... cold...
[–]northbud 25 points26 points27 points  (1 child)
I think it's kinda hot.
[–]3keksphilip1337 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
in june that is.
[–]rainbowforeskin 15 points16 points17 points  (6 children)
What about the dog?
[–]kingofplanetfap 11 points12 points13 points  (0 children)
It's now a hotdog
[–]abetheschizoid 7 points8 points9 points  (1 child)
It bothers me that the dog is experiencing those fluctuating temperatures.
[–]F3Rocket95 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
They probably kennel it if they are gone for extended periods of time. Also dogs have fur so they can handle the colder temps.
[–]Dtree11 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
I was thinking the same thing
[–]waynemor12 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
This was my thought. I'm hoping they put it in boarding.
[–]saucebucket 15 points16 points17 points  (4 children)
80 degrees during the summer? thats childs play, I keep mine at 76-78 during the summer to save money on electricity.
[–]TwinkinMage 11 points12 points13 points  (0 children)
And here I am, keeping my thermostat at 78 to stay cool during the summer and racking up a huge electricity bill.
[–]gunnapackofsammiches 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
Yeah, that's about how I do it too. I let the AC kick on to kill the humidity, but otherwise, it doesn't need to be too cold.
[–]TauNeutrino628 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
My dad is super cheap and when I lived there he always kept the thermostat at 85 during the summer. It sucked, but I've gotten used it and now feel comfortable at the 80 degrees that i currently live in.
[–]Autocorrec -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Cheers to being poor af...
[–]ZurgWolf 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
Slow clap
[–]D1sc0nn3ct3d 5 points6 points7 points  (1 child)
Add some music to the title and it's a Country Song.
[–]AMooseBandit 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
Damn, living in florida I would kill to wake up to an 80° house in the summer or for that matter just to feel what 40° feels like
[–]Ynot_pm_dem_boobies 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
That's cold.
[–]tylerjo1 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Turn it off in the winter so the pipes freeze
[–]algae11 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
This has the ring of truth.
[–]frederickrl 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
So I'm a dog now, bastards!
[–]althar1 comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points  (3 children)
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA! TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK OP!
[–]AsuMagic 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
DON'T TELL HIM HOW TO LIVE HIS LIFE!
[–]daschande 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
THANKS, THAT'S SO MUCH EASIER NOW!
[–]sheepsleepdeep comment score below threshold-10 points-9 points-8 points  (2 children)
So a wealthy trophy wife and wealthy banker spend months with a faulty thermostat and never call a tech or Google it? For fucks sake. I'm probably not 1/8 as well off as those people but if I woke up to a 40 degree house in February I would see to it that it doesn't happen again.
So I'm calling bullshit.
[–]DTisLOVE 2 points3 points4 points  (1 child)
They're not home when he does it...
[–]sheepsleepdeep 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
He said he turned the thermostat down to 40 while they were sleeping in the winter.
[–][deleted]  (5 children)
[deleted]
    [–]_trying_to_be_nice[S] 35 points36 points37 points  (4 children)
    being gay is not permitted under the trump administration.
    [–]EnderofThings 9 points10 points11 points  (1 child)
    I dont think you are trying to be nice
    [–]_trying_to_be_nice[S] 10 points11 points12 points  (0 children)
    I said "trying"
    [–]SethRichWasHisName -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
    Fuck off with the politics
    [–]DTisLOVE comment score below threshold-14 points-13 points-12 points  (0 children)
    where does it say that dumbass? gay marriage was legalized under a republican supreme court
    />inb4 you downvote me into oblivion like i care about internet points lol
    [–]interstate-15 comment score below threshold-30 points-29 points-28 points  (2 children)
    That's just petty shit, if its real.
    [–]H3aV3n5hAllBurN 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    The level of petty I applaud.
    [–]NinjaMogg 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
    No that's pretty fucking sweet
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