Big Brother may hit you, wrestle you to the floor, sit on you and bind your hands. He may rig the game against you with his cronies. But if you're strong and clever, you have a chance.

When you combine Big Brother with third-wave feminism and the Nanny State, you get Big Sister. Big Sister, like women do, first reaches inside you and scoops out everything that makes you strong. Then you don't resist so much when she gets the castrating knife. Then you truly don't care when she binds your hands, and in your post-castration confusion you may get off on it.