Putin - Здравствуйте Trump - Hey daddy, it's me again! Putin - SIGH What is it now Donald? Trump - Oh nothing much...just thinking bout ya... Putin - ... Trump - Whatcha thinkin bout? Putin - Global domination. Trump - Oh, what does that mean? ...SHIT! I gotta go Pence is coming!

minutes later

Putin - Здравствуйте Trump - Ok he's gone...whatcha doin now? Putin - Is very late Donald. Trump - giggles Silly-billy! It's only 5 pm! Putin - SIGH I am on other side of world Donald, is different time zone. Trump - Oh...well...I miss you. Putin - Did you get intelligence briefing like daddy asked for? Trump - Uh, well...about that... Putin - YOU DID NOT GET INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING?!?! Trump - sobbing Don't yell at me daddy! I tried, I really tried. I went a couple times but those guys are so serious and use such big words, and when I ask a question they all just look at me like I'm stupid! Putin - You are not stupid Donald. You are most intelligent, most beautiful man in world. Trump - Continues Sobbing Putin - Say it. Trump - I am the smartest and most beautiful man in the world. I keep telling those intelligence guys that but they won't listen! Putin - Good. Now tomorrow you get intelligence briefing, then you call and give to daddy, yes? Trump - Yes daddy. Putin - Now, daddy must go to bed, daddy has important meeting with generals to discuss invasion of Europe. Trump - giggles Silly-billy Russia is already in Europe! Putin - SIGH Goodnight Donald.