Make them earn everything - Encourage competition

I do this always. One time while jumping off the swings and having competitions with my daughter (she was 7 or 8) we drew lines on where the back of our feet landed. I jumped pretty far and didn't want her to give up. I said, if you beat that record, I'll buy you an American Girl doll. She was motivated and she actually jumped further than me. I bought her a doll that costed $120 with tax. I believe that helped supplant competitiveness in her.

Her first American Girl doll... she was 6, I think. She had 3 months of good behavior in school, good grades, we rated her on 5 or 6 other things including attitude, helping around the house, clearing the table, cleaning her room and making her bed. We rated her every week. She got her doll. Again, rewarding work. (I was married at the time, but still the same mentality.

I ask my daughter the same question: What questions do you have?

I encourage her to ask about boys, boy behavior (she's 11 now). We have gone deep on evolution, God, why do boys do this, why do boys do that... she always has good questions. I make this a weekly, monthly thing. It always leads to smart conversations. One conversation we had in a diner getting breakfast and a man before he paid walked up to us and complimented me on my conversation with her. "I couldn't help over hearing your conversation and I just wanted to tell you that I was happy to hear this kind of dialogue between you and your daughter."

Make your child accomplish something they don't think they can.

Pushing past the limit of their comfort zone is always a good thing. I remember reading a story of a man who talked about climbing a mountain with his Dad. He hated it, wanted to quit, but his Dad wouldn't let him quit. Encouraging him the whole way, they eventually arrived at the top. They sat there for a half an hour enjoying the view. His comments as an adult where that it was the thing that changed him, changed his focus and direction in life. To never give up no matter how hard the climb because good things happen when you accomplish your goal.

I know people do not like Dennis Prager on here due to his views on marriage, but he does have excellent things to say about many things including self esteem.. Self esteem is a direct reflection of accomplishing goals - not being coddled, but accomplishing difficult task to completion. Many people say this, but this is the first place I heard it years ago.

I will begin doing this:
Beginning in 2017 I will begin an allowance for my daughter for doing the dishes, cleaning the apartment, showing initiative, doing well in school - Then I will be taking taxes our of her allowance, paying for electricity and the like.

It will look something like $5 per week when she has been doing all her "chores" and the like, then at the end of the month, she'll have $20. I'll go over the electric bill, take out appropriate amounts for taxes and she will likely have $10-$12 left at the end of the month. The amount taxed will go back to me.

At some point I will take 5 single dollar bills and burn them in front of her... Why? This is called government waste. The government wastes so much of our tax dollars I want her to see it in action, right in front of her.

Books I bought her for Christmas..

2 books on writing stories (she loves it and could actually write a book... she's that good at it.) and I bought her Animal Farm, the book by George Orwell. This will teach her about government. If you haven't read it yet, I recommend it highly. For an 11 or 12 year old it might open up their minds a bit instead of listening to the drivel that is fed to them in public schools. Hint: The book is about communism and how it slowly creeps in and how people manipulate others for power... and ultimately how it fails.