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Stay at home mom...job or no? (self.beyondthebump)

book_worm86 が 投稿

I was browsing reddit this early morning. Just wanting to have a little chuckle. Landed in a down-voting frenzy because I thought I was sticking up for another person who made a joke about being a stay at home mom.

I've always had a job. I've always worked my butt off. I felt it was no different being a stay at home mom. I was told:

I don't pay taxes, so it's not a job.

Taking care of my son is a privilege.

I don't contribute to anyone outside my home.

I gave serious thought to these comments while cooking, cleaning, starting laundry, and changing a poopy diaper. Lol.

I hate that they make it sound like I'm useless, less than a member of society. I'm raising a person - a son that I hope becomes a man I can be proud of - what I'm doing doesn't take away from working parents who aren't able or don't want to stay at home but by me declaring that I'm working too it takes away from the working parents? Actually it was me agreeing with a post that being a stay at home mom is a job.

My brother was a stay at home parent for five years. He didn't do laundry, clean, or cook. He tells me that he knows what I do and it's not hard. His wife on the other hand works, had to grocery shop after work and then cook and clean. So I realize there are lazy STAH moms.

Now I'm wondering are they right? After they listed everything it doesn't fit into the parameters of a job - but I'm still working my ass off. I'm up before my husband goes to work and I'm up after he goes to bed.

There was numerous comments from people telling me I was being too defensive. And I was...this is what I do every day, no breaks no lunches, no vacation. I feel like I can't say this is hard work without pissing off people.

Maybe it's not a job but it's hard work. Oh the craziest comment also mentioned that we were selfish for having babies since the world is overpopulated.

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[–]TrollsInBabeLand [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

Well, we literally pay strangers thousands of dollars a year (as a society) JUST to watch our children. They don't also cook, clean OR do laundry. But apparently these people are asserting that raising children is only a job if it's for kids that aren't your own? Yeah, that does t make a lot of sense. Raising your children is a job, and it's a hard one. There's no vacation, no breaks, no calling in sick.

I don't understand the shame around SAHP's, but I'm 100% sure it's a large contributor to why family leave is so pitiful in this country. No one values properly the real work of raising children.

If someone wants to work outside the home, GREAT. If someone wants to work inside the home, GREAT. Why can't we just be kind and realize that everyone should contribute in the way that works best for them? I'm sorry people were assholes to you.

[–]Ive_readit [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I found my sticking point. The idea that "raising your children is work" it reads to me that all parents that work out of the home isn't raising children. It is fair to say that taking care of children all day is work. But saying that raising your child is your work, easily turns into working parents must not be raising their children.

[–]oldvineyzin [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I don't really understand this argument. Raising kids isn't a job. No one is saying that it's easy, it's just not a job, the same way washing the dishes isn't a job.

[–]moartotemsLogan Philip 7/18 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Well, as someone who previously worked, I never understood how much work it would be. I didn't really get how people couldn't get things done with a baby, and ooooh boy, let me tell you - I had a rude awakening. I feel like I'm juggling chainsaws some days, and the chainsaws are all on fire. I really do enjoy it, but it's definitely more work than I expected. I feel like the way SAHPs are treated and talked about gave me the expectation of it being a break.

[–]dontwantanaccount [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I used to work full time before my maternity leave and let me tell you, I thought I knew what tiredness was. I was so unprepared to feel this physically and mentally drained.

[–]toadspimp [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

No, taking care of kids you made the choice to have is not a job, it's an obligation. It's HARD, and nobody is denying that your choice to have children makes your life very tough, but hard work =/= a job. I've had some pretty hard shits to push out before but I'd never say pooping is a job.

If I made the choice to adopt a puppy and stay home all day with it while my SO worked, that's not a job either.

You contribute nothing to society outside of your own household except for adding to the already overpopulated earth.