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(NC)Teacher/Student Relationship/Therapist bills (self.legaladvice)

TylerIsTrash が 投稿

So I don't really know how to start this so I might as well give a backstory to it. I'll happily answer any questions you guys have. Almost a year ago I got into a sexual relationship with one of my teachers. While the relationship was going on she told me things like she was not married. (I'll get to why I'm saying this later) While talking over the phone I asked about protection because I was 15 and had no way of getting any. The relationship was moving very fast is why I brought it up. She was on her period most of the time it was going on so most of what we did was kissing. I was 15 at the time the relationship started. Turned 16 and one day in the car she asked if I wanted to have sex because she was off her period and all I said was "I don't know, I don't have any protection" She said I didn't need it because it was the day after her period (first time being in a relationship that got this far so I believed it and later found out it was a lie) so I came in her. The next day we got caught and I found out all the lies she told me. She was married, and I could get her pregnant. I have yet to know if I have a kid or not. This whole situation has ruined me. I saw a therapist afterwards and she said I probably suffer from PTSD because I do have weird flashbacks of the shit that happened and have panic attacks when It happens. And my therapist stopped seeing me because we couldn't pay for it anymore. We don't have a lawyer because It's basically her vs the state and the state on my side. And now that I don't have a therapist I've just been in this depressed mood 24/7. And it worries me that I might have a kid because she always made jokes about her "ex" husband couldn't get her pregnant. So why not use a a horny 16 year old. After the teacher situation was spread through the school because of the news people somehow found out it was me and I of course got attention, I hated it. Also one teacher in particular started treating me like shit and telling it was my fault she was fired. I told the school about it but they did nothing. I then decided to drop out. Later on I decided It would be a great (terrible idiotic) idea to make a threat to the school and was arrested. My lawyer for this case is trying to say I shouldn't be charged with a felony because I have no criminal background and basically blaming the whole teacher fucking me up thing. I really don't want to come across as I'm playing the victim even the the court will count me as the victim in the teacher case. I'm wondering who/what I should sue for. I honestly just want to get the money to pay off my therapist so I can go back to getting help. I'm just lost and im also sorry this was all over the place. Any questions you have I'll answer. Papa bless you all.

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[–]TeamRedRocket 60ポイント61ポイント  (3子コメント)

I don't have any legal advice, except to say you aren't playing a victim, you are a victim.

It is, as you've seen, easier to manipulate young teens to do stuff as an older adult, which is why we have laws against that sort of thing.

Have you already went to the police?

[–]TylerIsTrash[S] 14ポイント15ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yes the school found out and then they of course told the law. The teacher resigned before she could of been fired. She was arrested and put on bail for 35k. Was bailed out quick. Just very nervous because I have to face her for the first time since I last saw her which was a year ago. She has tried to make contact with me once since then and I went straight to the police. They took pictures of her trying to message me. Im worried when court comes they will read the messages I sent her and messages she sent me (dirty talk of course) and It'll be read put in front of my grandparents and parents. She started this as childish as that sounds. She made the move first. Not me. I regret this so much. I've lost all my friends due to the threat and partly the teacher thing. Im alone and have no one to vent or ask questions like this to. I appreciate you all for your confront and support.

[–]TeamRedRocket 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's not childish to say she started it. Bro that's what predators do. In my current job I work with high school kids all day and it is possible to be manipulated into thinking you want something.

[–]BlatantConservative 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

If the last time you saw her was a year ago, there's no way you have a kid.

[–]ChemPossible 20ポイント21ポイント  (0子コメント)

Who is your contact through the DA? You should definitely inquire about victims advocate restitution and see if they have a fund that might be able to help you.

Also, I'm sorry you and your family is going through this. I am definitely disappointed in the way people treat male victims when it comes to teacher sex abuse--you're probably being told you're not a victim and it was awesome, but the feelings you're having right now are very normal and more common than you think.

[–]brownbutterquiche 23ポイント24ポイント  (1子コメント)

RAINN (rainn.org) may be able to help you if the DA prosecuting your former teacher can't/won't connect you with victim advocacy.

I'm sorry that she did this to you, and that another teacher doubled down. You did not cost her her job, she did. This was not your fault. We have age of consent laws for a reason.

[–]TylerIsTrash[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'll check it out. Thank you

[–]Breakuptrain 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

Is online school an option for you? Can you take classes at a local community college? Can you attend a nearby school district? A highschool diploma is very useful in life. Very.

And look into resources for sliding scale therapy or counseling for victims of crimes.

Have your parent(s) talked with a lawyer re: a civil lawsuit against the school and/or teacher?

Also, you are worried about her being pregnant. Assuming she is in her 30s, the chances should be 5% or less. It is not that easy to get pregnant at 30-something. A pregnancy would further provide evidence of the sexual relationship (via dna testing) so she would have some motivation to end it if that does happen.

It sounds like she waited until after you reached 16 to have sex, hoping to avoid jail time. What is she being charged with?

[–]TylerIsTrash[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I went to a community college ut after I made the threat they kicked me out but I explained the story of what I said here to the president there and he allowed me back in. I now take online classes because people recognize me even after it being a year as the student who slept with the teacher or the kid who made that threat towards the school. So I stay home and am working on getting my Adult High School Diploma. And Im hoping that ia true about the pregnancy ordeal. I couldn't live with myself knowing I got a woman pregant. I would probably kill myself. And no my parent's haven't. Would it be too late? Court has been continued twice for both sides. So next week might be the settlement. I have no idea about the court system. (Why I cam here) She is being charged with sexual assault against a student.

[–]fireork12 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You said it's been a year since you've seen her, so you're in the clear on that end, since at most, it'd be 9-10 months (and even then, 10's REALLY stretching it) for her to have a baby

[–]LateNightFright 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

You were molested by an adult. You are a victim. Why weren't charges pressed against the teacher?

[–]BlatantConservative 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds like they were and the trial is coming up

[–]TylerIsTrash[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Also just curious about this. They took my phone in for evidence. I have screenshots of the messages. But they didn't take her phone? Why?

[–]batmanrebirthed 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

They will cross reference it with phone bills, etc and likely need a search warrant for the contents.

It's likely they won't keep you abreast of each move with this, which is normal, until they file charges related to it, etc.

You will probably hear from a victim's advocate at some point related to it. Most counties in NC are pretty good about handling this type of situation carefully. You can also get some assistance with options for schooling, etc.

You are not alone.

[–]BlatantConservative 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should definitely get your own lawyer.

[–]possiblynotmyfault 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not legal advice, and not medical advice, but I think you should look into finding a support group (they are usually free) to have a way to talk about your feelings and such with others who have gone thru the same thing. Also, regular daily exercise can really help to lift your mood. It's free, and you can either do it at home, or outside early in the morning when not many people are out and about to recognize you.

[–]JimmyTango 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

There are therapy resources for reduced or no fee. Here's a list of 316 in NC that may be near where you live. Explain your situation to them and see if they can help. You DEFINITELY need therapy. Especially if you're going to be confronting the perpetrator in the near future. Call ASAP.

http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf?_function=list&state=NC

[–]dltalbert84 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not sure where you're at in North Carolina but there is a place called Daymark that is completely sliding scale for therapy. I think you could probably see someone there for about 5 dollars. It's all over the state I believe but mostly in the western part.

Edit: a word