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My PTSD makes me look weak. (self.asktrp)

loveydovey2121 が 投稿

So I have pretty severe combat PTSD that I've been actively getting treatment for for 5 years. I'm still young, 26 was in the marine corps for 4 years went to Afghanistan in 2011. My main plate recently fell off and tonight I had another plate over. We fucked and she was high and wanted to watch a movie while I worked on some drawings. She's cool with it as it usual if she doesn't leave after fucking, we'll do our own things at my place.

Anyways, she starts watching southpaw (spoiler) and there's a scene where his wife gets shot and dies. It's not the shooting that bothers me, it's the next 5 minutes of watching her slowly die. I've avoided any movies or videogames that have that depicted. I've had marines slowly die in front of me, and countless afghan civilians take their last breathes while I'm trying to plug their wounds. I got really worked up and started sweating badly and ran into the bathroom. I felt like I was going to explode and I just started bawling. I don't know where it was coming from but she obviously heard me because she knocked on the door asking if I'm okay. I told her I was fine and washed up and when I came out she said she would txt me and left.

I don't want something like this to ever happen again in front of a girl and I tried desperately to hold it back. I guess I'm not looking for answers because I know I lost frame. It just feels extra worse because of my main plate recently falling off and a lack of abundance mentality since my other plate is "meh".

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[–]Endorsed ContributorSkorchZang 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Rough man. If I were in your shoes, and this shit happened, I would come out of the bathroom and tell her "guess what no, I'm fucked up". Explain nothing, give her an enigmatic "Afghanistan.", then possibly send her away yourself, depending how you feel. If you're back in the saddle for the most part, then maybe instead of sending her away you say "Fuck." Look at her affectionate, like it's now a conspiracy of you and her, and continue: "I could use a massage, let's fill the bathtub up."

Don't have to conceal the battle scars, they're actually sexy if she doesn't know the details and can't see what's happening when you lock the door in that bathroom. Frame it as something mysterious and dangerous about you, instead of something weak.

[–]failingtheturingtest 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Be prepared to receive advice that isn't relevant. PTSD is a serious issue, and being masculine or alpha won't resolve it.
This comment has some insight. Maybe u/vengefully_yours might be able to help you out.
Without any personal experience of PTSD, I could only suggest that you simply state that you can't talk about it, and that watching graphic depictions of war isn't OK when you're around.

[–]Apexk9 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Find a new plate.

How are they treating you?

I mean there was that one guy who takes mushrooms and it kills his ptsd for 6 months but he says the trip is a nightmare locks himself in his room away from his family but it helped him.

Try some crazy alternatives if 5 years of the same ahit ain't working.

[–]Auphor_Phaksache 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey man I'm in your shoes too. My worst was when I heard amazing grace at a get together. I don't know where it came from but all I could think about was saluting my fallen brothers. I ran out and broke down. There will be times when you're not as masculine as you want to be, let that shit go. It's a long road to recovery and you need to put yourself before all that other shit. If you lose a plate or two then fuck it. I am 100% open with girls about my PTSD and about half of them don't want to deal with it, I never even get a second date. Fuck it. I'd rather not put them thru it or put myself thru the disappointment. It gets annoying tho I know. Like an itch you can't scratch and people always asking the same questions. Why are your hands shaking? Why don't you ever sleep? Why are you staring off into the distance? Are you talking to yourself? Let all of that bullshit go and just focus on getting better.

[–]SockSage 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

You shouldn't be insecure about this. If any woman in your life is worth your time then they will have empathy for your experiences and care about helping you.

[–]postreformedpua 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Wrong. Women will pretend to have empathy one moment and will use your weakness against you the next. Usually when you least expect it, at your lowest point. That is how they work, they test us all the time. Wake up.

[–]landon042 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

correct answer. ptsd is biologically weak. she's thinking

"what if he breaks down and acts like a little pussy when I'm in real danger"

subconsciously. It's tough because as other said that's ptsd is very serious, so op needs to get that shit taken care of, meditate, do whatever to be an emotional rock. because no girl will have empathy for it.

[–]SockSage [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I just had my coffee, I'm feeling pretty great.

Unlike most RPers I know that not all women are terrible people and I've had success keeping the good ones around.