I wrote a longer reply to a thread, and I think it deserves a separate one. So, here it is:

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okay, probably I'm going to be rambling around here, long post alert, but here are my 2 cents:

I've been brought up in a traditionalist, nuclear family. my parents stayed together, all I knew that a family brings harmony to your life, but you have to work for it. then I've had shitty relationships, partially because I was blue pilled and also not enough adolescent, and partially I've also had the MGTOW calling within me. so after my last relationship (which was years ago, and was a really shitty one, my gf was an emotional terrorist practically, I ditched her eventually), I said 'enough' to myself. then I crawled around the internet searching for clues, and eventually I bumped into MGTOW which resonated with me. not to brag here, but I also must mention that after having several IQ tests, I came to the conclusion that my IQ is higher than the average, around 130 points, depending on tests (meaning, results varied from 128 to 138). I do not like to be non-average, because sometimes it's more of a curse than a blessing, but that's the way it is, that's what's given. I felt this all my life, I have problems with fitting in. I'm the outsider, as many of you guys here are.

I totally, reasonably, logically, factually understand what world we're living in. MGTOW was the proof I'm not alone with my opinion.

now, as I grow older, with my traditional upbringing, and also with my biological imperative, I feel that I could provide for a family, and I crave for a child and a loving wife, however I'm also not sure I'm up for the job, and after having redpilled myself I'm also not sure a modern-day woman can be loving at all. but after all, it's not something you can prepare for. as I stated earlier, my mother died in cancer, this leaves me with my father and my brother. I live abroad, where I built a life for myself. my father sometimes states that the only thing he misses is a grandchild, and I totally understand this. whenever he mentions that (not in a pushy way), I tell him to look at the modern day female, and he understands why I've chosen my way. btw he doesn't know anything about the MGTOW phenomenon.

I have a friend who changed to christian and found his calling. he has a wife, and recently they had a child. I talked with him about the reasons of bringing a new soul to this world, and I voiced my concerns (why to this horrible world, and material reasons), and he told me the following: a child is a fruit of unconditional love. in his standpoint, he says he loves his wife, and she supposedly loves him too (I have a bit of doubt here), so the baby happened. I'm happy for him though, however I hope he doesn't get divorce raped after popping a couple of babies out. I know his wife, she is smart but is with a bad family background. I wouldn't risk her, however at a point she was hitting on me. let's hope she's smart enough not to blow the family up, and reprogram her bad upbringing.

so in general, I would say that if I would manage to find someone really truthful, after years of 'testing' (3 years without cohabitation, and 3 years with cohabitation), I would engage for marriage and children. however, I'm getting too old for that, slowly entering my 40's, this is getting a non-choice. also, I would go for someone who's a virgin. why? this is why. as you can see, this limits the available partners around 5% maybe, or even less. I'm not delusional about this.

I hate to be selfish, I was always the guy who could make the right sacrifices for the right goals. however, it seems since there is no good women material out there (by anecdotal and empirical evidence), that is what remains for me. and recently I watched TFM's "The art of zero fucks given" video, which also resonated with me in a way, and I also recommend it to every MGTOW. with this choice I've made, I will focus on my life, and towards my goals.

I'm not an incel though. by looks I'm not a chad, but I'm a manly man, as in I have a natural masculinity, not the idolized one you get from the MSM. I don't hit gyms but I ride bicycle to work, and mentally I stand up for myself when I need to. I've proven to myself countless times that I could get a girl if I wanted to. I simply feel that like many here says, the juice is not worth the squeeze. recently I've watched videos about amish people someone linked here in another thread, and I feel I'm kinda like the amish people, but in a technocratic way. I'm an agnostic though, but I don't despise technology. I work in the technology sector.

by looking at my 'biological imperative', I failed. but then again, there is philosophy that helps you cope with that, and also the evidence that proves I've done the best possible with my life. of course, as a smart man, I'm not a 100% confident with this, and I always keep questioning my decisions. but after all, you can't change the past, and living in it is also not a good idea. I try to plan for the future living alone (not lonely), and to live in the present.

https://igorbloodscene.tumblr.com/post/150862519533/this-hits-home

as for the future, I plan to buy an RV and move into it, and from then on work much less, avoid large cities (like the one I'm living in now), and live on the countryside, changing my location sometimes. that is basically MGTOW level 4 by the manifesto (which I despise), checking out of society. I find society overwhelming sometimes, to be honest. I haven't got much friends in here, being more of an introvert than an extrovert, I like to keep things for myself.

I also need to state here that my red pill rage is long gone. I'm not a women hater. there's no reason for hate them for what they are. we're all together in this game called life. sad that they don't realize how feminism and propaganda ruined their life. yes, sometimes I have a laugh at idiot feminists, sometimes I rage out because of them, but most of the time I feel sad for the women whose lives have been made miserable by the leftist propaganda.

so, as you can see, it's not peaches and cream for somebody like me, but in my present situation I feel this is the best possible I can have.

TL;DR: it's a sacrifice, sometimes you won't be happy and feel lonely, but it's the best choice seeing the current state of affairs.