Dear Hillary-

You will probably never read this, but I feel morally obligated to write it anyways. I am who I am in no small part because of you, and as such owe you a significant debt of gratitude.

I grew up in a staunchly apolitical house. I literally cannot recall my parents ever discussing political candidates. I also didn't attend college, so didn't encounter political beliefs there either. I was content to not care.

I joined the Marine Corps in the fall of '99. Bill Clinton was president; the nation was at peace. Joining was less about defending my country, and more about finding a way out of my backwoods town. I did not vote in 2000. I considered myself to ill-informed to be able to vote in good conscience.

In 2004 I went to Afghanistan for the first time. I had a mostly positive experience there. I also did not vote in 2004, because I figured if I hadn't put in the effort to learn about the candidates, I didn't deserve to vote. In 2005 I went to Iraq for the first time. It was a frustrating experience, but not terrible.

Late in 2006 a went back to Iraq. That experience was... bad. I saw a lot of institutional incompetence that made me start questioning the politicians who had designed and then perpetuated this mess. I started, for the first time, to think that voting mattered. I started to think that policy was important. I started to realize that I had to educate myself.

Early 2007, I'm eating lunch in a chow hall in Fallujah. It was essentially a warehouse filled with tables, with one TV on either end. During dinner, the table closest to the TV was prime real estate, as the Simpsons would be on, and only the closest table could hear it. During lunch it was just news, so no one cared. One day I was at the coveted table, with my back to the TV. There was a panel discussion of some sort going on - or perhaps a primary debate? - about the use of the military.

And there was this one voice that put words to the emotions that I'd been experiencing. One voice saying that the military isn't the only card America holds, that we have several other avenues to project power. Once voice that understood diplomacy, understood nuance, knew there was a better option. This during the height of the Iraq war, where military strength was everything.

After listening for a while, I was floored that there was someone articulating these things. I had to know who it was. I turned around to see the TV, and it was you speaking.

I have to admit, I was shocked. All I had known of you prior to that was what the mainstream narrative told me about you... which, to put it lightly, wasn't very flattering. But there you were, speaking eloquently, and hitting on profound truths that were correct but politically inexpedient at the time.

You earned my respect that day. In 2008, I voted for the first time, and it was a vote for you in the primary. I must admit that I wasn't completely depressed when you lost, because hey, Obama ain't bad either.

I must also admit that I voted for Bernie Sanders in this primary, because I did fall victim to some of the "she's a war-mongering Wall Street insider!" narratives that were so prevalent at that time. My bad on that.

But here's the thing. Watching your concession speech today, I wasn't panicking about how terrible the other guy is. I could only think "she would have been an amazing president." I felt regret only over what could have been. And not about how we could have shattered that ceiling, not about how we could have said no to bigotry, but very simply: we could have had an amazingly great president.

You have your faults, it's true. But you would have been great. And I feel tremendous sadness that I won't get to see it.

But there's this: I believe in politics because of you. I believe in educating myself, in studying the issues, in voting, because of you. I believe in donating, I believe in talking to others, I believe in getting out the vote, because of you. I might go to bed tonight worried about the future of this country, sure, but content that I did the right thing. And I thank you for that.

I thank you, so very much, for your service to this country. As first lady, as Senator, as Secretary of State, as candidate, you have inspired us to think bigger, to work for the common good, to do the right thing.

I thank you so much.