I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that despite every source pointing to the contrary before the election, Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States. Yesterday, I took pride in voting in my first presidential election, but by the end of the night I felt ashamed of my country. I am sorry for that.

I am sorry to everyone that he has offended. As a straight white male, I don’t know what it is like to have the future President of the United States call people of my ethnicity rapists and murderers. I don’t know what it is like to be told that people of my religion don’t belong in this country. I don’t know what it is like for him to promote sexual assault against my gender. For that, and for a number of other reasons, I’m sorry.

Now, the American people find themselves in a place where many never thought they would be. In addition to a narcissistic bigot being elected to our nation’s highest office, Republicans will soon control the Senate, the House of Representatives, the Supreme Court, and a majority of state legislatures.

There will be no restrictions on what Trump can accomplish. In our near future, expect legislation to limit access to abortions, the rights of the LGBTQ community, the rights of minorities, sensible background checks on gun purchases, class mobility, freedom of the press, access to health care, and access to quality education to name a few. There is no upside to this; there isn’t a silver lining. America lost on election day. Fear, stupidity, and hate won; we need to accept that.

On Jan. 20, when Donald J. Trump becomes the 45th President of the United States, this country will be tested in ways that it never should have. Right now, it seems impossibly difficult (and naïve) to be optimistic. I not only fear the future of America’s leadership, but I have lost my faith in the American people. History will show that they just elected the worst presidential candidate in modern history.

After yesterday, it’ll become tempting to distance yourself from this country. That may seem horrible, but in reality, this idea was developed well before last night’s election in a very literal sense. A massive amount of celebrities vowed to leave the country if Trump was elected. Google searches for “moving to Canada” surged through last night’s election, and Canada’s immigration website even crashed due to excess traffic. It’s likely that the vast majority of those intending to leave the country will inevitably end up staying. Still, in the coming months there will be a growing tendency for Americans to lose their sense of patriotism. With everything that’s going to happen in the next four years, it’s not hard to imagine why.

Today, I find myself recalling the words of former Boston Red Sox slugger David “Big Papi” Ortiz after the Boston Marathon bombing in April 2013. Five days after the attack, Ortiz exclaimed in front of a crowd of thousands at Fenway Park, “This is our f—ing city!”

Despite the results of the election, don’t forget that this is our f—ing country, not his. It may sound corny or insincere, but America’s best days are ahead of it, even if those days can only come after years of pain and degradation.

No law passed to restrict my rights or the rights of those I care about will make me love this country any less. Nothing appalling or bigoted that our future President says will make me abandon the idea that this country is inherently good.

After last night, it is easy to despair, to talk about leaving the country, to say I’m sorry. It is a far more difficult thing to believe in this country. It is difficult to believe that it belongs to those who have her best interests at heart, to people of all complexions, creeds, abilities, and orientations. Even if it isn’t always true, it is something that is worth believing in.

Photo Credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

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