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Woman here with a question... (self.asktrp)

Nedden94 が 投稿

I'll be turning 23 in February and I've never had a boyfriend. Guys don't approach me and I don't talk to guys much since I'm really shy, and most of my friends are girls anyway. I don't go out much to clubs and stuff like that, so I don't really have the opportunity to meet guys.

I know I'm getting older and I'm starting to get scared. I'm not extremely attarctive but I'm not ugly, have an okay body (hourglass figure but I hide it a lot since I'm pretty shy and honestly don't like dressing it clothes that show off a lot), and I'm a virgin. Never even kissed a guy yet.

What do I do? I don't want to be 30 and still single. I know time is running out quick. Do you guys have any advice? What can I do? I see people in relationships all the time but I don't know how I can have that success.

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[–]huge_gap 5ポイント6ポイント  (16子コメント)

Start taking better care of your appearance (exercise more like aerobic and squats, buy form-fitting clothes that look good, wear make-up, get your nails did etc.). This will attract men. From there, you can choose one who has good masculine traits and solid career prospects. The trick will be finding one who doesnt just want to have sex and leave right away. There are various strategies to help with that.

He'll stick around if you make him happy with being feminine, fun, regular sex, cooking, doing chores, etc. Don't nag, be possessive or bitchy, and try to augment his life instead of taking away from it. This takes practice and experience, so don't get down hearted because you'll probably have to try a couple times with different men before you find a great one. As long as he augments your life too, then you should live happily. Being a virgin makes things a little different. Don't give yourself away to the first guy who seems decent. It's OK to be picky if you can, but if you really like a guy it's going to be difficult keeping him around if you hold out on sex too long.

Also, join the redpillwomen sub.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (15子コメント)

I already wear makeup, don't do my nails on the regular but I'll look into it.

Would you say 5-6 months is too long to make a guy wait for sex? I can't see myself having sex a couple months into a relationship.

[–]Anon4023 1ポイント2ポイント  (6子コメント)

I'm sure there are guys that will wait 5-6 months (religious types mostly I think) but most will definitely not.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (5子コメント)

Really? 5 months is too long? Blah, thinking of going out and sleeping with the first guy I see just to get it over and done with :/

[–]Anon4023 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Like I said, if this is the kind of person you are, you'll find guys who are similar (aka want to wait a few months before having sex)

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Guess I'll have to be on the look out for guys with similar interests... Thanks for sharing.

[–]Duchenne4089 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Losing your virginity to a stranger would most likely be a bad experience. There are guys out there (slightly older than you, like 28-29+) who would like to have a long term relationship with a woman that hasn't slept around, so your virginity can easily be a plus.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hear that all the time. Thing is I'm not really interested in older guys, and guys my age just wanna sleep around. :/

[–]Cerebral_Moss 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I drop a girl if we don't fuck before 3 dates. But then again I'm not looking for love. I'm 20 and I don't want to worry about keeping someone else happy when I can't even make myself happy.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I see... I could never do it within 3 dates though. I hope other guys are different.

[–]LoL-Guru 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

Don't be afraid to suck dick to keep him interested and count dates not months.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I don't mind oral, but I would say that would be a few months into a relationship. Is that too long to make a man wait?

I can't get out of month mode. I couldn't do anything too crazy with a few a guy just a few dates in. I don't want him to think I'm a slut. But I don't want him to get bored of me either.

[–]LoL-Guru 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

shrug depends on the man. You need to ask yourself what kind of a balance you want.

The mega hot stud who has women lining up to bang him won't wait, but he's not the kind of man you're going to get any kind of commitment out of anyway, so you'll have to find a balance.

EDIT: he won't think you're a slut if you make-out and touchy feely and it will likely keep him interested. There's also nothing wrong with telling a guy your situation. Some girls are worth the wait, better do some reading on how to suck a good dick so that if you get to that point he'll be willing to wait some more for sex.

[–]TheRedStoic 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You'll have to calibrate to the guy.

Regardless, you'll have to set your boundaries and deal with the limitations towards your goals. You need to cross post this to red pill women. We can tell you what works from our interests, but you need to ask other red women what works that is synergetic with your goals. Good luck.

Also IMO and IME, virginity is hugely valuable nowadays. As long as all the other signs are excellent. (Treat him as your captain, do your best to separate feels and reals, have other things to bring value such as cooking, cleaning, be sexuality giving to him only, keep your socializing appropriate when you're fixated on him, etc)

Really the onus is on you to find things you love doing, then vet for men that fit your requirements.

At 23, you've got some time left, but hardly, no one will go for you if you're not in their presence. You'll have to deal with your shyness at least by going out to meet people.

Edit. 5 months is far too long. That won't work. Anyone whose your captain can get sex cheap or free, so you'll need to entice him quickly in addition to your other attractive features. The longest I waited for my longest ltr was a month. And she was just the right balance to make it worthwhile. If you try to pull that, you can't be angry if he's taking care of his needs elsewhere while you're vetting him.

[–]huge_gap 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If it were me or most other red-pill-minded guys, absolutely too long. I would endure being denied by a girl one or two weeks max if I was "dating" a girl before telling her that I need sex and hinting at going nuclear with whatever we had. Did that with my current LTR and we're really happy together. Women provide sex and men provide commitment. It's what we give each other and what's expected. A man will get frustrated when a girl expects him to give his commitment and doesn't provide sex. Any self-respecting man will not put up with that very long.

However, I know some dudes will wait that long, especially ones with a religious bent. If you're a really great catch and explain your situation and how you feel, some guys will wait (probably no rpers though). If they're easily content to wait a while, I would be skeptical about him (either not enough self-respect/esteem or something funny is going on). Most masculine healthy men I know will not wait that long, especially when you have only average looks (as I've gathered from what you said).

Anyway, if you find a high quality man you may need to bite the bullet and give it up within a few weeks or fear losing him. Blue balls and sexual frustration are very real. You also dont want to set up a negative sexual dynamic with him where hes frustrated all the time. It's just the way it is.

[–]youdontevenknow84 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

r/redpillwomen

[–]InBaggingArea 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

Hourglass figure.

Never had a boyfriend. Men don't approach.

What do I do?

Start by telling us the bit you're not telling us. After that you could do some approaching yourself. Would that be beneath you?

Strange you ask here.

[–]landon042 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

gotta be something she's not saying.

I'm curious how she found trp in the first place.

if there's not and she truly was raised by a strong father, I'd suggest stuff what we suggest guys do to find a ltr.

obviously we say you don't turn a whore into a housewife, so no bars/clubs and it's promoted to join clubs,outdoor activities,groups.

so that's what she should do, and find a guy that wants a ltr

[–]Nedden94[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm not sure what else to tell you. I don't know what I'm missing.

[–]InBaggingArea -4ポイント-3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well, I'm available. Where do you live, roughly? I'll be right over. (Big grin)

[–]notimportantjustme 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

And you came here to ask that? In the den of "treat women like holes"?

hahaha

[–]Mike377774774 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well, then start going out more. Go to places where you think you'll find a guy that's your type. It'll all work out fine.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks. I admit I prefer to stay in most of the time... Will start venturing outside :)

[–]Koalasonfire 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Don't be so glum, sounds like you have a good, non cock-carouseled situation going on for yourself.

Do what the other guy said, work out, dress for your body, be feminine, etc.

[–]redditatt 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Stop being okay with having an okay body. Red Pill is about becoming your best self. Do your part first and the world will follow.

[–]TheInkerman 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well, firstly I would say make sure your physique is right. Even average looking women can get guys, but you want the best guys, right?

Find your body fat %, diet/exercise and maintain 20-22%, as well as making yourself look good through exercise.

Now for clothes you don't 'need to show off' a lot to get guys, in fact the type of clothing you dress in will determine the kind of guys you attract (to some extent). I'm guessing your current dress style is loose and somewhat baggy; one would perhaps describe it as 'mildly frumpy'. How accurate is that assessment? You can dress more attractively by wearing clothing which is tighter and accentuates your body's curves more, without necessarily revealing skin.

The shyness is somewhat of an issue, because guys who do approach you may take your shyness as disinterest. Most guys don't really get subtle hints from women that they're interested (this is where you get the somewhat insulting 'guys are dumb/stupid' trope), you need to be more obvious with your hints without necessarily being direct. It may be easier for you to meet guys if you have a hobby or activity you like, and then you can open up over your common interest, rather than just small talk or whatever.

Being a virgin is a positive and a negative. In some ways it makes you more attractive to guys, but yes, you will also face the issue of not wanting to have sex with a guy because you want it to be 'special' or whatever. Guys will, in general, be more patient about not having sex, especially if you're willing to build up to it with other sex stuff, and if a guy isn't willing to wait at least some time then I would say that's a big red flag. Anecdotally I think you'll also find the guys who are more willing to wait, and are probably less experienced like you are, will also be the guys who are shyer like you are, so unless you find yourself only attracted to the social butterfly Chad Thundercock, maybe consider the shyer guys.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes I wear a lot of loose clothes, I would describe my style as frumpy. I have a lot of cute dresses but I'm always afraid to wear them.

Thanks for all that advice. This was very helpful :)

[–]Endorsed ContributorSkorchZang 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Pics or it didn't happen.

[–]Nedden94[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Of me? I'm nothing special to look at :)

[–]Endorsed ContributorSkorchZang 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

bring the frumpy

[–]yacht_steve -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pm me let's talk