"James," is a young man in his early 20's. He comes from a family of a long line of Accountants. His Father, Grandfather and older siblings are and were high-level CPA Accountants, all making solid six-figure incomes. James in essence, is "the next in line."

Everyone fully expects James to follow the family legacy. It's palpable, and the unspoken pressure is on. The problem is, James doesn't like accounting. He's good at it, in fact, he excels at math, but accounting holds no real interest for him. In fact, his math classes in high school brought him as much interest and pleasure as having his teeth drilled at the dentist.

James knows his family, friends and Girlfriend however, all see a bright future FOR HIM. They all see his future as a painted picture, a painting THEY HAVE PAINTED, the house, the kids, the cars, the money, fully expecting James to happily "man-up" and make it happen, to make THEIR PICTURE COMPLETE.

James, however, has a secret dream. He secretly dreams of being a "fishing guide." He's loved fishing since a boy and is great at it. He dreams of having a small, but profitable business, owning a couple of small boats and wants to experience the sheer enjoyment of taking clients on fishing trips.

But alas, he knows better. Even mentioning this idea to his family will be met with resistance. How could he choose such a mundane career that will not provide the prestige, pay and lifestyle that will make him a success in the eyes of his family, girlfriend, friends and society? He already knows what's coming. They will see him as living below his "potential," as settling for less. He loves his family, and knowing they may very well view him as being an under-achiever in choosing his dream--fills him with DREAD. He knows he will likely lose his Girlfriend, who comes from a upper-middle class family like his, who's already talked about their "prosperous future" together...family trips abroad, having a big house, children and nice (expensive) things.

Feeling distraught and racked with fear, James capitulates and enters College toward obtaining his CPA. He later joins his Father's firm, marries his girlfriend, buys a home. Secretly, he hates his monotonous, yet lucrative job. Year after year, he trudges along, grinding away like a drone, and is constantly reminded of the superficial banality of it all. He tries to tell himself it's all for the best. At least he's accepted and validated by others, especially those he loves. Yet secretly, James is miserable, he often lays awake at night, secretly pining over what might have been, what it would've been like pursuing his dream instead.

The above scenario is an example in understanding why it's important for men to learn how to hold onto their identities, manhood, their lives.

There's an ever-present, pervasive fear shared by humans, that in my opinion, outstrips even the fear of death. All people have it, yet, strangely, no one talks about it. But it's there, and it's powerful.

I'm talking about the fear of the possible loss of acceptance by, inclusion in, and validation from the larger group. This fear for men, especially when it comes to women, can spill over into the fear of lacking "desirability" which only amplifies the drive to seek acceptance and validation AT ALL COST.

This monstrous, toxic fear compels men to do stupid, self-sacrificing, self-effacing, self-destructive things that can be devastating to their physical, psychological and spiritual health. Men can literally lose our identity, their sense of self, their manhood, just trying to "belong."

MGTOW truth encourages the vital importance in Men's learning to seek validation and acceptance from WITHIN OURSELVES. Doing so helps us deconstruct and purge the ingrained, powerfully toxic fear described above, to see it for what it really is, which is a FEAR BASED ON FANTASY AND LIES. Doing so helps us learn to ACCEPT, VALUE, and yes...even LOVE OURSELVES for who we are, continually seeking truth, exposing lies in order to choose living healthier, happier lives.