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ADVICEIs there any hope? (self.RedPillWomen)

rivertorain が 投稿

I swallowed the pill about 6 weeks ago, after my last "relationship" ended where I had pretty stupidly tried out being a plate. Admittedly, I've been reading TRP a lot but I can't seem to shake the feeling that the future of finding a healthy LTR actually looks pretty bleak.

I'm considering online dating again as I recently moved to my city and work online so don't get to meet a lot of people. Even so, it just feels hopeless to me. Are all guys in my desired age range (30-40) like what is on TRP?

I'm 26 - I want to get married, have children, and just be the best wife and Mum that I can be. I've been in a beta LTR before and don't want to go back to that, just so that I can have a family. Assuming TRP are the best potential Captain's though, how am I ever meant to expect one of them to even want to commit when they are perfectly happy spinning plates?

I'm not bragging but I do feel that I have a fairly high SMV. I'm no super model but I have looked after myself, didn't ride the CC, and have hobbies (albeit, unfortunately not a lot of friends in this new city yet). I spent the last year heavily on the Feminist bandwagon so I am in monk-mode and have been working on toning down my guarded-cold-bitch, in favor of my warm-feminine-goddess. Regardless, I am just terrified that all that is out there, are a bunch of guys who are trying their hardest to spin plates and avoid commitment...

As an example, my ex who I was with for 5 years (a successful Sigma, though we had a large age gap & mutually broke up due to different long-term goals, as he didn't want children), when we first started dating, I really felt like he was a "gentleman". He took me out to dinner, would call me, etc. I've gone on a few dates recently with 30 year old guys, and it just seems to be coffee and meeting in parks. No phone calls, no real sense of the relationship progressing. It makes me think that every guy out there is actively reading TRP and trying to politely f*ck me over. Of course I'm vetting so it's never going anywhere, but I'm starting to think that "my generation" of men are determined to stay single. They have completely given up because AWALT. Even if they saw that I was a high-value woman, I don't believe they'd want to commit. I'm in Western Europe, if it helps, in a notoriously "single city". I'm so scared of my upcoming Wall that the idea of moving is honestly becoming more prevalent.

I'm sorry, I don't even know what advice I am trying to ask for here. This pill just hasn't gone down well. I almost want to go back and stay with the ignorance and bliss of the Blue...

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[–]runway32 | Alpha raised 23ポイント24ポイント  (1子コメント)

I’m gonna start charging for pep talks.

Is there hope? Of course!

I’m going to tell you what a lot of people PM’d me after my initial RPW post that was basically 5,000 words of woe is meeeee:

TRP has, what?, 200,000 subscribers? 200,000 males 18-25 of which, maybe 80-90% won’t do anything with their lives. The other 10% who internalize the truth are too young for you anyway. The rest of the world is still blue pill with varying shades of purple. If you’re cute and feminine and know what you want, you will get it. I have every confidence in you!

Stop thinking about The Red Pill as “all women are only good for sex.” Start thinking about The Red Pill as, “oh, all men really want is a sweet girl who’s nice to him, lusts after him, and lets him be her hero.” Like, how hard is that? It’s not hard.

Some old field reports here (and a few trips down MRP Lane) indicate that it’s probably very possible to turn a beta with potential into more of an alpha. Give him a chance to take the lead and he probably will! There was a field report forever ago that I thought was in the sidebar, but it’s not. It’s one of my faves because it seemed to highlight the basics of RPW and how just letting your man step up will result in him stepping up. This woman, on the verge of divorce?, went to the hardware store with her husband and son and instead of telling him what to buy and what to do to fix the lights in their kitchen, she just deferred to him. And when he didn’t get it all completed, she didn’t complain, she just said, “Oh, that’s okay babe. It looks great though.” And without any prompting he was back to work trying to get it all set up and wired for her. Like, oh, being nice and encouraging and not a harpy b will get results. Who knew?

Sometimes you have to forge the man of your dreams!

Quit reading TRP. I stopped reading it months ago. I stopped reading MRP a while ago too because those tunes were also getting old. Get out of the TRP bubble. The world is not a giant neon flashing red pill. It’s very very purple. And now that you have red pill insight into what men’s lizard brains really want, it’s so easy to slip into that role to get what you want. Actually, if you haven’t, I suggest reading MRP until you can start predicting what the posts are going to contain. Once you’ve memorized all of the typical problems they’re whining about, you can modify your behavior appropriately and start your next relationship off on the right foot. You got this!

[–]MsSadieDunham28, married 2 yrs 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

it’s probably very possible to turn a beta with potential into more of an alpha

My husband

went to the hardware store with her husband and son and instead of telling him what to buy and what to do to fix the lights in their kitchen

I read this one too! So good.

OP not every man has read TRP and is trying to game you. What's more, there are alpha men who wants kids and a wife. Don't lump them all in the PUA/FWB category. There is hope, of course!

[–]Kara_El29 LTR 1.5 years 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

  1. Stop reading TRP. It's not a space meant for women. Most of the men are rightfully angry from the feminist movement beating them down. They're not a good basis for what you're looking for because...
  2. You're not looking for a Red Pill Man, or at least not truly. You want a guy who's alpha and will lead a family, but who will take care of you when you're pregnant and be a good father. Red Pill Men are pretty far in one direction and the average man you've been dating is pretty far in the other. If RP men are a 10 and average guys are a 1, look for a 7. He's not on the TRP blogs.

It's easy to feel a bit hopeless if you read too much Red Pill theory. Getting married young is highly advised, but sometimes it doesn't happen. I was divorced at 23, found the Red Pill women during my self improvement single years and have taken what I relate to from the doctrine and left some other things on the table. It's not an all or none. You have time, assuming you actually start trying now. I'm getting married next summer to a man I met at 27, when he was 30. It is possible. Stop freaking yourself out and learn to crochet or something.

By the way, I also met my guy online. Just keep dating and meeting as many guys as you can and giving them all a real chance. They're not going to knock on your door.

[–]lady_monochromicorn25, LTR 1year 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're still in shock from swallowing the pill. I sounded like you about 6 months ago. Assuming you're being honest with us and have no red flags, I'd suggest working on yourself as best as you can in hopes of attracting the right man to you. But it will take more work than you think and you can't get lazy. Check out our "bible" The Surrendered Wife, and also take up a new hobby like sewing or knitting to keep you feminine and happy.

[–]GardrothardLady 22 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Honestly, reading TRP for the first time I had similar feeling. But then I kept digging deeper and honestly, I find it very optimistic for women.

For example, I was always afraid that my boyfriend/husband would change me as soon as the better model comes out. No, that was my own hypergamy and solipsism. Men don't work like that. If he has something great with you he's less likely (than you think) to ruin it because something shiny caught his eyes. If you give him enough sex, make good food and don't nag you've already have nothing to be afraid of (if he's an average normal man). If on top of that you have your feminine energy and let him feel like a hero he won't leave you unless he's an idiot.

Men are loyal and generally have respect for moral values and principles, unlike women who have more "fluid" moral and hamstering to go with it. Investing in a man and respecting the deal you have with him will be met with the same from his side.

They are hungry for good women. Another advantage you got by swallowing the pill. Read more and you will see, they don't spin plates because that's all they want. They do it because women these days have nothing else to offer them. Some of them have never encountered a true feminine energy so they don't even know that there is more value that a woman can provide.

[–]FRedington 8ポイント9ポイント  (12子コメント)

I spent the last year heavily on the Feminist bandwagon ...

If I were an RP male looking for marriage and kids with an RP woman (I'm not) and you and I were to meet, would your online presence reflect your participation on the Feminist bandwagon?

If it did, I would disqualify you for that.

[–]runway32 | Alpha raised 5ポイント6ポイント  (11子コメント)

This is insightful advice, OP! Take a note! People are incapable of changing who they are, so whatever new RPW persona you're assuming will be considered fake by anyone who knew the old you. (All those alphas on TRP who used to be betas are still betas deep down inside and we all know it. You're either born an alpha or you're a cucked beta forever. This is the deep dark secret of every man who needs TRP.) Women are just not allowed to go through a feminist phase without it being a deal breaker. Apparently. So repeat after me, "What's a feminist? Never heard the term." And then act accordingly.

If your social media presence represents a former you that you don't want to be associated with anymore, delete delete delete! Get rid of it all. Once you've completely reinvented yourself and the old you is a distant memory to even your friends (and maybe you need new friends!), then you can curate new social media profiles to highlight who you are now (assuming you even want to go back to social media).

[–]FriedHayek20s Single Guy 2ポイント3ポイント  (7子コメント)

Don't forget that the converts who choose to change, they often become the most hardcore of the followers.

[–]runway32 | Alpha raised 0ポイント1ポイント  (6子コメント)

But deep down inside, they're still beta losers and the first RPW to come along will melt their red pill heart.

[–]FriedHayek20s Single Guy 2ポイント3ポイント  (5子コメント)

If that argument had any validity, all of the previous feminists here would be awful RPWs. And everything you write here about nun-mode would be pointless to read.

[–]runway32 | Alpha raised 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

You are off the pep squad!

[–]FriedHayek20s Single Guy 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

I was never on it.

I'm on the good ideas squad.

[–]runway32 | Alpha raised 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Are you saying my ideas are bad?!

[–]FriedHayek20s Single Guy 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I have no memory of that, but I'm not going to argue with you, if you feel that way. :)

[–]rivertorain[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

While I totally agree with this, fortunately I have never posted about feminism (or actually any kind of social opinion) on social media.

What I meant by 'Feminist bandwagon' was actually more about an attitude - it ties into the guarded-cold-bitch I mention in my OP. I had become entitled, felt that the world owed me something, and had started to prioritize things like my career and money over my underlying RPW desires. With the guy who plated me, I cringe thinking of all the little moments where I was trying to "one-up" him, I was literally trying to compete with the poor guy.

Like I said, I am really working on this and I know it's not going to just disappear over night but I do believe that it's more of an awareness thing - now that I'm aware of RPW and know the kind of relationship I want, I know what the best version of myself looks like, and I just have to try to get there.

[–]runway32 | Alpha raised 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

While I totally agree with this, fortunately I have never posted about feminism (or actually any kind of social opinion) on social media.

Wonderful. My comment was mostly a hyperbolic response to FRedington's completely and utterly pointless comment.

it's more of an awareness thing - now that I'm aware of RPW and know the kind of relationship I want, I know what the best version of myself looks like, and I just have to try to get there.

Yesss. Now go forth and live the gospel of the Red Pill.

[–]Mentathiel18 | LTR 1Y | PPW 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just wanted to warn you about spending too much time on the Internet. This perhaps has to do with your new city, but your perception of people in general tells me this has been going on a lot. When we spend a lot of time on the Internet, we tend to forget the bigger picture. If you spend all your time on TRP, you'll start to identify it with the real world, even although majority of people in the real world have never heard of it or despise it. It's the same with Trump campaign, with all the memes going around and people supporting him on the Internet, one would say he's guaranteed to win, but if you look at the polls his supporters are just overly represented on the Internet. (Not trying to start a political debate, just giving an example, if you think my example is wrong try and think of a better one for the purposes of this conversation, rather than derailing it.)

That being said, non-RP men are increasingly dissatisfied with the state of affairs in the modern world and less likely to marry, but this isn't just because of the general disappointment with women, there's a whole lot of sociological factors at play. Birth and marriage rates are generally on a decline in most developed countries and the less developed the country is the less of a problem with that they have. Although one could argue that this could be traced back to women's liberation, my point is not to pin everything down on one factor when thinking about this. Most men aren't consciously aware of why they want what they want or why they have certain priorities beyond explaining importance of certain things in a more abstract manner, rather than coming down to specifics of their innate drives.

[–]Luis_McLovin 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Some advice from the other side. Just like how TRP preaches masculine polarity to intrigue women, you must practice feminine polarity.

This is the single most important thing.

More important than looks, hobbies and low n-count. Get this through to your head.

I'm dating around spinning plates and to be honest most women suck at being feminine and I feel no desire to associate with them beyond sex. However, once in a while I do meet a more feminine woman and it makes a HELL OF A DIFFERENCE.

It sucks having to put up with bitchy attitude women to get them to spread their legs. Sure, I'll do it of course. However when feminine women come it sparks something else in the masculine man. His instinct to nurture and protect in the way masculine men know how.

Take away advice, really work on getting rid of your cold bitch face, smile more, instead of shit testing do comfort testing (this one works really well try it) and you'll see men's attitude towards you change.

Sure, beta and chad pump-n-dump will still approach, you've got to be a smart enough woman to recognise these when they come and act accordingly and don't let your emotions or tingles get in the way of attracting what you're after. Except that's the price you must pay. Both sexes pay the price. If you want that God-fearing strong, unmoving rock family man you've got to pay your dues and be the shining radiance of joy in his life.

[–]i_have_a_semicolon24 | LTR <3 | 3.5 yearrs 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't go for a Terper, just go for a guy who you're highly compatible with. Look at guys and see if they are able to meet your standards.

[–]rainyweathergirl 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think you need to broaden your age range, what if for example you meet a guy who is 25 or 50, who is a perfect match?

If you live in the UK I feel sorry for you. The UK is a radically far left country. If you want to raise kids in any way that is unconventional, I wish you luck, because the UK authorities watch parents like hawks and there is a tonne of domestic violence, child abuse and rape hysteria.

I don't have a lot of positive things to say about British men, either. They are either chavs, yuppies or hipsters. Most of them are useless.

I ended up with a british born chinese man.

Lived in the UK most of my life, hated it intensely. Lived in Ireland for a while, liked the culture much better but it wasn't good for my partner's career.

If you live in Britain there is hope, but you probably won't find it with a British man. I would suggest men of other cultures. British men are wimps.

[–]Nomudnolotus111 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm also in the UK and had to move to the North just to find a man who is naturally "RP". Up here there is still some semblance of traditional values and it was the best thing I ever did. Good luck to you!