(cache) • Fake Illness Bloggers and Online Relationships

Fake Illness Bloggers and Online Relationships

How to be safe and “sick” on the internet. In light of recent events, this needs to be said…It’s with a heavy heart that I write this post this morning.

I make a point not to create online relationships. By that I mean skype, personal friendships, exchanging addresses or numbers, that type of contact. Why? Because there is no way to know who is truly sitting on the other side of the screen.

I love to hear from my followers– who you are, why you follow me, any feedback you have. I like to email, work with followers on upcoming projects of mine. I run a business off the internet. I send followers quotes or little pick-me-up messages when I see sad posts, but that’s the extent of my relationships. And it has to be that way for me personally.

Yesterday, Alaska-Says-Sun was outted as a fake illness blogger. I’ve suspected this for quite some time, but by limiting the online contact I have to just that –contact– instead of a relationship, I avoided the hurt that many are feeling right now, both on and offline. Only this time, her story stuck with me. She (he? hir? ze? Not sure now) floated through my thoughts frequently and I often sent her simple kind words of hope, like I do many of my followers.

I have no more to say about this specific case, and I do not promote sending hate mail. But it has prompted me to write for myself and the rest of my followers some things to remember when entering the world of blogging. How do we deal with fake-illness bloggers?

Please note that I am not suggesting we scrutinize all chronic illness bloggers to determine if they are false. This is about being safe and protecting yourself from emotional hurt. It is important to be aware that such people, though rare, exist. This is not a witch-hunt.

How to be safe online as a blogger, especially a “sick-blogger.”

Be aware that Munchhausen by Internet is not a joke. It is a very real phenomenon. To learn more about MBI, click here for an excellent explanation.

Note that forums and chronic illness communities are perfect platforms for individuals to share their not so honest health hurdles.

Limit the type of “relationship” you have with other bloggers. Should you really be sending a strangers gifts from their wish list if you don’t truly know them? Should you really be giving out your skype or number? Ask yourself what’s appropriate and what’s not. (this is not me telling you what is appropriate; this is me telling you to determine what you think is appropriate)
Photos do not mean a person is who they say they are or have what they say they have. Medical equipment can be purchased; photos can be manipulated.

If a person is posting when it seems like they should truly be unable to physically, approach with caution. Again, this is along the lines of someone typing a post while in the middle of having a seizure, super exaggerated types of occasions. I am not one to determine who is capable of what. Hell, I’m in a crazy flare and am currently near-bed ridden yet I am able to type this.

If a person waivers back and forth between nearly dying and being stable again and again over extended periods of time (let’s be real, unfortunate things like this DO happen, so this does not always apply), approach with caution
If the person does not understand their disease or their symptoms do not add up, approach with caution
If a person comes to you wondering if they should go to the ER when they have “kidney failure, can’t urinate, swollen legs and I can’t see out of my right eye,” yet ignore all advice and seek only further attention, use caution.

What does use caution mean? It means be mindful of your own emotional energy; when it comes to extending copious amounts of your emotional energy, it IS okay to be mindful of where it is spent.

So you think someone is a fake illness blogger. Now what? You have a few options:

Out them at the risk of being wrong or right– both outcomes have vastly different consequences. Legal consequences can arise. You do not want to point the finger at someone who is innocent– that is not fair.
Limit your contact, unfollow, walk away from their domain completely
Report them to support, depending on the host you use.

These fake bloggers have a real impact for those that are actually ill. Many of us have had to struggle to get our doctors and loved ones to understand, validate, and believe our illnesses; many of us continue to struggle. But those who share our pain? We should not have to convince each other, nor should we all suspect each other of being liars. It is only that we must be aware that they do exist.

Love. Lots of love today,