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I Followed a Hello Games Employee Home (self.Gamingcirclejerk)

misterchief10 が 投稿

I'm a self-employed private investigator working out of a bunker disguised as an anime fan's fetish shrine. So I follow this guy home, right, and he's eating CASHEWS. Fucking cahsews, a rich man's nut. He took our money and got rich, and he bought cashews. I knew the injustice had to stop, so I donned my $30 raincoat spraypainted black tactical trench coat and grabbed my dad's .357. I shot through his window, and missed on purpose to scare him (obviously I'm a crack shot thanks to the realistic bullet physics of Battlefield 1). Now that shill has the cops hunting me. I plan to explain to them the great injustices that man committed against me, what with his delivering me a disappointing video game. I'm laying low at my cousin's girlfriend's house as we speak. Everyone knows this was righteous justice, not unlike something Batman would do. Upvotes pls.

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[–]thinkadrian 3ポイント4ポイント  (5子コメント)

Fuck all the redditors calling you stalker or creepy, they are socially inept.

[–]misterchief10[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

I like to think I'm a modern day Clint Eastwood, really. Dishing out morally grey justice with big iron on my hip (New Vegas reference for all those unenlightened). Thanks for your support.

[–]marioman63 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

i cant believe you're a fucking shill for clint eastwood. dont you know geralt is the best tracker of our time (im sure you know who he is, since he is from the greatest video game of all time)?

[–]misterchief10[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Clint Eastwood is just Geralt IRL man they have the same colored hair

[–]giulianosse 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well I heard Clint's character was based off in Geraldo as a tribute so I'm not sure what you're hinting at.

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[–]VHLPlissken 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Only that you lazy shill? Where does his wife work? Which school do his children go? Where does his parents live? What's his bank account number?

He made a video game that I didn't like so all this information must be released.

[–]sera07 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

what a coincidence i was there earlier, found a key to a brand new ferrari in the bushes. Normally I'd return it to its rightful owner like an upstanding citizen but then I noticed the keyring said 'property of sean murray' and bottom line im writing this while speeding down the m25 in my new ride