Oh Great Alfalfas, I thank thee oh so much that I wish to explain you a few things;

Feminism didn't influence my "young mind," patriarchy did, and here we are at the crossroads.

Now, in my limited hamster edition of feeeemale emo terror, I will not provide you with scientific puffs and farts, since science ain't real if done by fem-hamsters. Alfalfas doing science on hamsters is; I guess that's why midwives were persecuted so that male doctors could butcher pregnant women for centuries. Ever heard of washing your hands, oh intelligent ones?

Heck, heard the other day another woman had a stillborn since the male doctor had his Alfalfa moment and when she asked for cesarean as suggested by her midwife, he told her, "Do you know how much that costs?!" As if a woman who had health issues with conceiving in the first place, was thinking about the bills covered by her insurance and her paychecks and taxes, and not about the value of the life in her. Cray cray feeemales, amirite or amirite?

You see, alfafas, once you have a feemale hamster, you kind of experience the world differently and you learn by experience for decades until the wall when you turn into fossil fuels for Alfalfas SUV.

I've come to appreciate the Patriarchy in many and all of its forms, no matter if it was alfafas hamsters humping the Patriarch Scripts or some of the feeemale hamsters!

It only took ass groping from alfalfas when I was 12, 13, 14, 18, 20 etc to influence my hamster and not feminism. My ass was probably askin' for it.

It just took watching women washing your asses, cooking, cleaning, raising kids, doing another job so she could "help out the house budget" while alfalfas of the house went on to be independent (yet somehow always need a brotherhood for this independence to work) and achieve "glorious things" such as dynamite, eugenics, tanks, and build better mud huts for their alfalfa "palaces."

And hey, the feeemale hamster better appreciate the alfalfa one, or she'll see "God" when you beat the shit out of her when you're fired by your glorious brotherhood of hamsters. Amrite or amrite? If only she didn't run into your accidentally poised fist. It's always easier to punch the hagnagbag at home, than go and have a chat with your King, Alfalfa Boss Man, Slave Owner, Bruh, and other Masters you bend over so beautifully to receive daily your dose of dick competition.

But look, it's the feeeemale hamsters issues as well, cause they drank from the Patriarchy TM Kool Aid as well. It's not alfalfas sole responsibility, after all it's not like there's such a thing as cause and effect in this world. Amrite or amrite?

But muh precious alfalfas have suffered the most! It's the truth. Your hamsters are the most sensitive, delicate, vulnerable, touchy-feely no matter how much you hide behind your "reason" pacifier.

If you didn't consider femhamster as property everyone could have had the hamster before you. It would be kind of like second-hand furniture if you didn't make sure there were no voting rights, education rights, credit card rights or else the fem-hamster might start getting ideas or learn about the Patriarchy Hamster's Ideology. Amrite or amrite? Or plant an opposum baby in your hamster nest.. Does anyone have any idea how much opossums cost?

But hey, not like alfalfas were always that stern and strict, it was all for the benefit of women. And if they didn't see the benefit well you always had stakes, pitchforks, torture chambers, witch hunts, propaganda, stoning, acid, whips, fists, and many other tools of the one and only Salvation.

As we all know, alfalfas have taken care of women for centuries as they bravely fought in bazillion and one war which somehow never harmed a woman or child (deep metaphysics even I don't know the alfalfas achieved).

It's not like women worked in fields, mines, tended to the animals, crops, children, worked later on in various industries solely so that the men returning from those oh so peaceful and just wars could kick them out of the job and into perhaps onto a prostitution corner because hey, she was askin' for it.

So you see, I don't blame the Patriarchy for anything but influencing my young hamster and post wall hamster and eternal hamster soul, and thank from the bottom of my heart to have seen the true face of the alfalfa hamster. Your lil chubby ego-hamster face, stuffed with your mother's milk, punching the other boob, and demanding more! MOAR! MOAR! How can those boobs be so selfish and not give you moar?

Oh ye poor, poor, alfalfa hamsters, so much you have done, so much you have sown, and now you don't wanna reap so better to call in the FemiNazism and point the finger. Amrite or amrite? But come on, how could have a feeemale hamster have done anything or do anything?

That femhamster has been busy wiping asses from womb to the tomb, teaching you the A, B, Cs, auto-popping out babies while frolicking in rice fields with rice, busy burning at the stakes, busy revolving around the Alfalfa Ego... So how did they find time to ever even think of stepping out of the Patriarchy Wheel?

Well, you sweet, sweet alfalfas, while you were busy screwing around, fucking around, whining in the pub, shitting where you eat, beating other betas, bombing other women, children, and men, the female hamster realized something... You needed us more than we ever needed you.

So I thank you, from the hairs of my hamster fur to the cages that were sort of poetically needed in the grander scheme of things, of the universe... All movement needs resistance. You've done your "work", now it's time I do mine. You too can be free, truly free... I'd save you myself my precious alfalfas from the Patriarchy Wheel and cage you built around yourselves as well, but I've learned you can't save hamsters that don't want to be saved.

So I acknowledg your free choice, leave you alone (for reals, not in the MGTOW way), and love you the way you never learned to love.