The red pill rage is gone. I can only laugh now at most of society.

It is a joke. And I can't help myself - I'm not even angry anymore about the truth of social dynamics; I just sit back and watch.

It's like I've got tickets to the circus, and all these clowns... these painted faces with ridiculous hair clowns we call women.

I see blue pill men get screwed over and I don't have sympathy for them - it's like watching slap-shtick comedy - I wouldn't sympathize with the Three Stooges... or however many stooges are out there.

Anyways, I miss my anger - the rage - the "two minutes' hate" - that beautiful fire in my soul.

Of all the things I pity - it is that men are not allowed to be angry, and it can fester in some, smolder in others, and burn bright within some. Anger is not a bad thing.

Anger is a good thing. Anger is the pyrogenic fever of the immune system fighting off an infection of septic invasion - it's the fire that purges bullshit out of your life. It is a healthy rejection of that which is foreign to your natural being.

And I'm not angry anymore... it's a little frightening. From an ethical perspective I feel like anything is permitted now. That freedom is frightening without emotional self defense in the form of anger.

I've been trying to rekindle the flame recently by poking old wounds to see if anything flares up. The band Everclear's Like a California King has been helpful, repeating;

I will find you in the crowded room

I will knock you off your feet

I will burn you just like teenage love

I will eat you just like meat

I will break you into pieces

Hold you up for all the world to see

What makes you think you're better than me?

What makes you think you're better?

What makes you think you are complete?

What makes you think you are the only one immune to falling down

Why can't you see

I see you fall and I get happy

I will watch you burn like fire

I will watch you burn like a California king

...

If I can't feel myself burn, then I'm just going to watch the world burn, and laugh... It's fucking weird.

I'm not angry. I don't want to fight injustice: that sounds retarded.

Like a scowling social justice warrior who just makes things worse with their clumsy, sententious, mendacious, bullshit-spewing fuck-ups.

... and I have all of this potential (and I'm building wealth that I have nothing to do with, and working a nice job, and helping to fight cancer in men)... but I know that I can do so much more than make cancer treatments. It's not even challenging work for me (unless there's a fuck-up; then it's fun and interesting and challenging, and I get to do troubleshooting).

I need my anger back.

I need that fire under my ass.

I need to stop finding everything so god damn funny. Mirth is wasted on me.

The rage-inducing posts/news stories that a lot of MGTOWs post here are just amusing to me... but... I can certainly understand an addiction to the red-pill rage... I just think maybe I OD'ed on the medicine.

The red pill isn't a painkiller... is it? The truth is supposed to piss you off, right?

Or is that just what society does to make men try to fix things, in order to harness the dynamo of male ingenuity? Anger makes people act. And men are wonderful when moved to action; look at all we've done...

Did Esther Vilar discover this? Make men bottle their anger so that they build society with rage as the fuel? Is that why boys aren't allowed to cry? -Because acceptance (like where I'm at) means you don't try to fix things.

Men fix things.

Society is fucked if men stop fixing things.

I'm fucked, too (if I don't fight to fix things)... but, then again, everyone dies, and in that way we're all fucked.

...

I will try to channel the passion and hate the used to fuel me, in order to grow stronger, and to accept my new-found freedom. I will think on this...