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Female normie with a question (self.Incels)

Normiethrowaway16 が 投稿

Just to say I'm using a throwaway account as I'm not sure if this question will be taken negatively and I don't really want abuse on my real account. Hope that's okay.

This will be kind of long but the question is near the end I just want to explain my situation so you can understand why I'm asking his question.

I'm a 26 year old female, I lost my virginity at 20 with my boyfriend (who I am still with). I am kind of attractive I'm not a 10/10 goddess but I'm not seen as ugly. I can do my make up well and I go to the gym and well for girls, that's enough to get attention really. I'm maybe a 7/10? I'm very shy though and would never ever EVER approach a guy first, also all guys I speak to lead the conversation and my boyfriend still leads sex as even now I'm super anxious. Which I know girls are lucky for (since it's kinda a unspoken rule that guys make the first move etc.)

The reason I'm saying all of this is because I get attentions from boys while out clubbing (very rarely when actually out shopping or at coffee shop or anything like that). There's very good looking guys who come up to me and then not so good looking guys although I'm sure you will all roll your eyes but looks don't matter to me. My ex boyfriend (dated from age 17-19, didn't have sex as was too scared and nervous but did do oral etc) was not good looking but his humour and personality made me see him as the most attractive person. Due to this I don't ever turn down guys due to appearance. Creepiness? Yes of course but never ever appearance.. I promise.

Although with having a boyfriend, I obviously need to turn guys down. Just to say though I honestly rarely get asked, if I was to go out I would maybe have a guy come up to me once or twice a night. Which for a girl is honestly not much as my attractive friends have loads of guys all the time every second we are out.

When I turn down these guys, the attractive 'Normie' types take it quite well. They are obviously just wanting a one night stand as they are coming up to me in the club and instantly touching me or similar but if by chance they do want more than that they still take the rejecting quite well. Obviously there's the odd few that throw a fit or call me names but there's girls who do that when guys reject them so oh well.

Now when I reject incels (I can only assume they are due to how nervous they may be or might not be as attractive as highschool jocks and movie stars and the way they approach me kind of shows it, or even (don't shoot me) creepiness). Even if the guy is creepy I will still reject them politely by saying something like "I'm sorry but I'm not interested. I actually have a boyfriend" And if they bought me a drink I offer them the money or offer to buy them one back.

Without fail. EVERY SINGLE TIME the guy reacts super negatively. Calling me a slut who "thinks I'm better than him", get called a liar and that I don't have a boyfriend I'm just trying to get rid of him and that I'm not even good looking etc etc etc. Now I know this won't be all of you incel guys but honestly every single person I've experienced that are incels are like that.

I honestly don't understand what I'm doing to get such a negative reaction. I even had a guy chat me up with the opening line that he was a Virgin. Which was a little weird but if I hadn't met my current boyfriend I might of been in the same books due to anxiety. When I rehected (the same way as always) the Virgin guy he started to tell me that I'm a stuck up bitch that only wants to sleep with good looking guys who have experience etc (I told him I had a boyfriend so idk) and ironically I'd rather be with a Virgin than a guy who has loads of experience cause I would feel more comfortable and im more attracted to guys who don't have experience (we can be nervous together).

My question is for you incels. Does it get to a point where you've been rejected by girls so much or have a lot of trouble that you just get sick of any girl that rejected you? I honestly try be so nice and friendly and I'm beginning to think it's something I'm doing wrong in the way I reject them like it's beginning to hurt my feelings a lot.

Is there a certain way to reject u guys nicely where you will fully understand that I could be interested if single but I can't think about that when I have a boyfriend?

I understand you all have worse problems than me but it's honestly got to the point where I don't want to go out or I run away when a guy ever approaches me because 1. I hate the insults and jabs 2. I do feel really horrible and bad when I reject guys who clearly don't have experience or confidence.

I hope this isn't seen as offensive or mean but I also hope to get some advice

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[–]hustleroftheyear 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

lol at your random rambling about absolutely nothing.

[–]themartialway 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Hey guys please ignore these kind of posts from normies. We shouldn't encourage this attitude , this subreddit is our safe space and can't allow normies to come here like they are going to the zoo and act interested.Do you really think she cares about your answer she posted that just to feed her ego.Please don't encourage more normies to post .

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm not really sure how this would feed my ego. I was just asking for advice but I understand

[–]themartialway 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you really understand than you delete your post and never post again

[–]rickinator9Sane 'Incel' 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is a known phenomenon on the internet(r/niceguys).

I have never asked a girl out so this advice might not be useful. If I would be rejected, I would love to know why you would be interested in me if you were single. Stuff like "I love your haircut", "You have a good looking body" or "I like your sense of humor". Compliment them about themselves. Men hardly ever get complimented on anything other than their accomplishments. Whenever I get a random compliment about my clothes, hair or body I keep thinking about it for weeks.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I didn't even consider the the nice guys view on it, no idea why. I think cause one of them stated they were a virgin I kind of just assumed so my bad.

I would be interested when single because personally all the guys who have approached me (albeit the creepy ones) had nothing wrong with the way they spoke to me. They were nice and polite and i personally think that's enough to interest me although I'm sure I'll get a lot of people calling me a liar for that.

I never really thought about the compliment thing. I'll definitely be looking to compliment guys more if they approach me.

Thank you, your honestly a really nice person.

[–]thesmellofcordite 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I don't think a wall of text about your very basic experiences turning down awkward people at clubs (as if incels go to clubs) is the best thing to post on this sub. It seems almost antagonistic.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh right. I apologise completely. I only found this sub today through searching for somewhere relevant to my problem and clearly the club part is unrelated to this sub.

I did not know so I'm sorry. I also apologise if it comes across self-centred, I truly don't mean for it to be.

[–]justendmefam19/M -2ポイント-1ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is almost everything I hate about women and normies in a single post. Amazing.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Could you possibly explain further? I'd love to know exactly what was said that you hate.

[–]justendmefam19/M -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Literally everything about you okay? You make me sick to my stomach.

[–]dead_eyed_mofo22M ugly incel dying inside 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

People here do not go to clubs to ask out girls, so you are asking the wrong audience.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh right. I apologise I clearly didn't search the sub thoroughly enough before posting.

[–]hjalmarsbarn 5ポイント6ポイント  (10子コメント)

Non-incel here as well. Honestly there is just about nothing you can do to spare these guys feelings when rejecting them other than to be polite (which you, based on your text, already are). Some guys are jerks and will lash out when they're rejected and that's more of a reflection on them than it is on you.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thank you for your kind reply. I hope I didn't come across that I find all guys assholes like a previous commenter mention as I honestly don't think that.

[–]JANormie 3ポイント4ポイント  (7子コメント)

I don't know if the incel posters will agree, but I had so little contact with women for a time, that I interpreted just about any contact as romantic interest. When it became clear that wasn't the case, it hurt that much more. Of course, ignoring someone also hurts. It's a tough situation; I don't envy being a woman.

[–]dead_eyed_mofo22M ugly incel dying inside -1ポイント0ポイント  (6子コメント)

I envy being a woman. It's living life on easy mode. I have a sister a bit younger than me, so I can compare.

[–]hjalmarsbarn 2ポイント3ポイント  (5子コメント)

The fact that she has a better quality of life compared to you is probably not caused by her being a woman

[–]azavii 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

It most likely is. With her describing herself as very shy, not being able to approach others and not being able to lead conversations, she might have ended up an incel if she was male.

[–]hjalmarsbarn 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

There are plenty of self proclaimed shy and socially awkward guys who are in relationships/have been in relationships.

[–]azavii 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

True, that is why I said might. But if she was male her being very shy would effect her life much more than it is now as a woman.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Only romantically/sexually. I can still approach people when it comes to being friends. I'm not sure if that changes it at all but I'd love to know

[–]azavii 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It still does raise raise your quality of life compared to if you were male. Being very shy is just a very negative trait to have as a male and something most men have to "fix", but as a woman it's fine.

[–]YOUARE_GREAT 2ポイント3ポイント  (5子コメント)

Probably not. They don't care about you or what you say to them if it doesn't fit their fantasy. They are trying to protect their egos and their artificial versions of reality. They're hurt and lashing out to try to pretend they aren't.

[–]RobotNineThousandOneNormies please leave -1ポイント0ポイント  (4子コメント)

She didn't contradict anything. This was a whore whining about problems we would love to have. She can fuck off and stink up somewhere else.

[–]mecha----shiva 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I get that her post was a rambling mess, but is she really a whore? She's only had sex with one guy. Having sex with one person makes you a whore now?

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

You would love to be called a whore, slut, liar, stuck up bitch etc when you were being perfectly polite? Well ok..

[–]RobotNineThousandOneNormies please leave 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

You would love to have people with trivial problems that you'd die for complain about them.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was complaining about being called names when rejecting people. If you only focus on the rejecting part and not the actual rude and bullying name commenting then that is your problem.

[–]RobotNineThousandOneNormies please leave -1ポイント0ポイント  (5子コメント)

I'm not here to read some normie whore's blog post about how having men be attracted to her is oh so difficult.

[–]dead_eyed_mofo22M ugly incel dying inside 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

But only once or twice the night! Can you imagine how bad that must feel? :(

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

When did I ever say having guys approach me once or twice was bad? I only said their reaction after I say no is what I dislike.

I'm sorry that you misunderstood.

[–]dead_eyed_mofo22M ugly incel dying inside 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

No, but you implied it's not a lot because other girls get even more while we are not getting approached, ever.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's not a lot for a girl.. Like I mentioned. Even outgoing good looking guys approach girls more than they get approached.

Regardless I'm sorry if I offended you

[–]StAliaHarkonnen 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

He didn't misunderstand and we don't care about what you dislike. Leave.

[–]BF821119, (((Militarycel))) 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

I would maybe have a guy come up to me once or twice a night. Which for a girl is honestly not much

fml

Does it get to a point where you've been rejected by girls so much or have a lot of trouble that you just get sick of any girl that rejected you?

Is suicide contemplation an option?

I honestly try be so nice and friendly and I'm beginning to think it's something I'm doing wrong in the way

The "I have a boyfriend" excuse is overused, so yeah, probably that. Those people who get mad arent incels, those are actual legit "NiceGuystm."

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hope I didn't offend you with the first part I just meant for girls it's agreed to be easier and I've even seen the stated in this sub.

And right, I understand now. I guess with the one virgin guy it made me kind of bulk all the rejections together I think? I didn't really consider the nice guy side of it so that's my mistake.

Thanks for replying and helping me out

[–]RobotNineThousandOneNormies please leave 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Once or twice a night

Try not once in at least 6 months and never with the intention of flirting.

[–]justendmefam19/M -5ポイント-4ポイント  (7子コメント)

You're making shit up, no one gets pissed at rejection in person.

[–]ghillerd 5ポイント6ポイント  (6子コメント)

yes, they absolutely do.

[–]justendmefam19/M -2ポイント-1ポイント  (5子コメント)

No they do not, quit fucking bullshitting me. The only people maybe do it are frat boys who are loud and obnoxious anyway.

[–]ghillerd 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

just because you've never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. there are plenty of women with a bunch of stories about times men have got aggressive after rejection.

[–]justendmefam19/M 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

They are not the guys she is talking about and you know it. Shy, polite, insecure incels literally wouldn't even have the guts to do that even if they felt like it and you know it.

Just looking at your fucking post history I can judge what kind of a cunt you are, fuck off from our sub and don't come back.

[–]ghillerd 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Isn't one of the rules of this sub not to lump all incels together?

I'm sorry for my offensive post history, I guess smash bros and Magic the gathering are pretty cuntish topics.

[–]justendmefam19/M 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

No incel here would do that, no incel here does anything but act polite towards women in real life. That's not lumping people together, that's a fact.

Oh yeah, those are definitely what I'm talking about. Uh huh.

[–]ghillerd 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think you could have been clearer in your initial comment then. "No one does that" and "no one on this sub would do that" are pretty different statements.

[–]BananaBeemReloaded24M Subhuman Hideous Somalian Actually Diagnosed Autistic KHV 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

I don't get angry at all. I just say ok see you around or whatever and go on with my day. Then I cry myself to sleep when I get home.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

Thank you for writing back to me.

I'm really glad with how you deal with it and I promise you that karma will repay you soon. I know there's more nice than bad guys out there so I hope my post did not offend you since I didn't focus on the nice guys like yourself.

I hope you have a good weekend and hopefully one day you won't have to cry yourself to sleep as you are so much better than that

[–]BananaBeemReloaded24M Subhuman Hideous Somalian Actually Diagnosed Autistic KHV 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I wish I had the self esteem to believe that last part.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should. I know me saying that means nothing but honestly being a nice and kind person will get you really far one day and I really hope you get the self esteem to believe that.

[–]-CcCc 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

My question is for you incels. Does it get to a point where you've been rejected by girls so much or have a lot of trouble that you just get sick of any girl that rejected you?

No. but even if I got the that point I most likely wouldn't openly call anyone a slut/bitch.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thank you for your reply. There is definitely more nice guys out there than bad ones so I'm glad your one of the nicer ones.

[–]ban_collector 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

idk why i read this whole retarded essay but i dont ask women out, but if i did and got rejected i would just go kill myself instead of getting mad at her unless she did it in a bitchy way. i have no advice other than don't be a cunt

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I apologise for the length. I guess I felt all the back story was necessary so you guys could understand why I was asking. I know now that it was a mistake on my part and hopefully you don't think of me negatively from it.

I've never been a cunt to any guys but I guess that's only from my point of view. I'm not sure if your suicide is to be taken seriously but if so then please know than one rejection isn't worth taking your life. Even Leonardo Dicaprio has been rejected more than once lol

[–]CarkudoBorschtcel -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

tl;dr normie girl talks about her boring normie life as if it's supposed to be interesting, then makes up a bunch of lies about how all men are assholes

OP, I'm sure you think your intentions are good, but holy shit, you're a terrible person. Stop being so fucking self-centered.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I completely, 100%, apologise for the way my post came across to you.

I did not lie as I did state that most people on this sub most probably do not act the way I explained but I felt as though this was the best place to ask for advice. I do not find guys to be assholes even the ones who call me names and I'm not sure at all how you came to that conclusion as I not once called them a name or expressed my dislike in them.

Again, I apologise that I came across as a terrible person to you but I really did not mean to. I was frustrated with how guys were dealing with my polite rejections and thought I could get some help from people who might be familiar with it.

[–]StAliaHarkonnen 6ポイント7ポイント  (9子コメント)

I couldn't get through all this text where you mainly for some bizarre reason assume your life interests us. 90% of this shit could have been removed.

As for your question, you think anyone gives a shit about how you reject them?

I'm so glad I'm not approaching women in the first place, you get such inflated sense of self worth. The dudes that do approach you are the ones who approach anything with a cunt playing the numbers game. They don't do it cause you're special and they don't care about how you reject them and how you phrase it (but after reading this text, try not to do it though a long monologue. ) they actually don't give a shit about you. They insult you because they no longer have any incentive to act polite.

[–]hustleroftheyear -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was going to say that. The whole life story thing was very bizzare and unnecessary.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (7子コメント)

I did say at the beginning that I was giving back story as to explain why I was asking the question and that the question would be at the end if anyone wanted to skip forward so I apologise for not being clearer. I just felt as though the explanation was needed so that the question didn't come across the wrong way, clearly it still has.

I did state that with most guys I knew it would only be for a one night stand but with some others it might be more than that. I never stated I was special or that they care about me. When I get rejected even if it's in a horrid mean way I still politely take myself away from the conversation and don't feel I no longer have any incentive to act polite.

I understand that you feel differently though and thank you for explaining your side to me.

[–]StAliaHarkonnen -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm not mentally challenged, your thank yous and sorries don't make you likeable, attempting another essay makes you even more deluded.

In a language you'd understand - I am sad to hear that so many men approach and validate you, now please would you kindly go fuck yourself?

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't understand why you are trying to turn this into a me saying "I think I'm better than you". I also did not imply you were mentally challenged

[–]ban_collector -3ポイント-2ポイント  (3子コメント)

lmaooo this dumb roastie thinks if she's polite in her comments we won't hate her

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

At the end of the day I don't care if you guys hate me for asking a question.

[–]ban_collector 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

u said

I know now that it was a mistake on my part and hopefully you don't think of me negatively from it.

so apparently u care very much about my opinion of you. anyway i dont hate you for asking a question i hate you for being a roastie whore

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thinking negatively of something and hate, although similar, are still different

[–]RobotNineThousandOneNormies please leave 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Wouldn't know. Have never tried to ask out a female as I assume it would be unwanted.

[–]Normiethrowaway16[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think you should atleast try. While it may be unwanted by some woman (in a relationship, not their type etc) I can assure you there will be girls out there who want asked out. If they reject you then it's experience for the next time. I hope you try one day as I'm sure you're a really nice guy.