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[Match Thread] Chelsea vs. Manchester United (self.reddevils)

SupaaFastRonaldo が 投稿 - announcement

SCORE: 1st Half

MANCHESTER UNITED 0-0 CHELSEA

If anything is wrong, don't hesitate to PM me. Suggestions also welcome!

Premier League Tie between Manchester United and Chelsea

Date: October 23rd, 2016

Kick off BST: 16:00

Venue: Stamford Bridge, London

Starting XI's:

Manchester United F.C. Chelsea F.C.
De Gea Courtois
Valencia Azpilicueta
Bailly Cahill
Smalling Luiz
Blind Alonso
Fellaini Moses
Pogba Kante
Herrera Moses
Rashford Hazard
Lingard Pedro
Ibrahimovic Costa

Man Utd F.C. SUBS: Romero, Darmian, Rojo, Mata, Carrick, Young, Martial

Chelsea F.C. SUBS: Begovic, Aina, Terry, Chalobah, Oscar, Willian, Batshuayi.

Team news:

  • Mata drops to the bench against his old club.

  • No Shaw, Rooney, or Mkhi in the squad today.

  • Lingard reclaims his starting position, along with Fellaini and Herrera

UPDATES:

FIRST HALF UPDATES:

0' Chelsea kick off!

1' CHELSEA GOAL A comedy of errors in defence and United concede! A ball is played over the top to Pedro and De Gea comes out after Smalling and Bailly make a mistake and let him through, but Pedro rounds Dave and slots home.

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[–]CatFoodBeerAndGluePaul Scholes, he scores goals 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

We're gonna get smashed.

[–]selotipkusutMarcus Rashgod 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well that sucks.

[–]ScientificShrimpRvN 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Have all pur defenders forgotten how to speak English or something?

[–]bogoroh 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

My battlefield game wasn't even done yet and we're 1-0 doen, let's start attacking

[–]robby241 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

i turn on the game and were fucking down already? did they forget what time the match started?

[–]fellowe5Shaw 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a tackle from ander

[–]Flick_My_Bean_Geoff 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Blind. Absolute liability. How many times does it need to happen.

[–]jigsaw11Mata 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I stayed up until 2am for this. Come on - time to respond!!!

[–]PenPaperShotgun 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just tuned in and we are already down, fuck sake

[–]imsowitty21 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

why is Lingard on the left?

[–]curlyswineScholes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Of all the things we needed to avoid, this was the most important.

[–]BigassbirdRobson 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

My boyfriend just ran downstairs thinking something was seriously wrong, like the cat had died or something, because of the noises I made as that goal went in.

He looked at the score and slowly backed out of the living room.

[–]literalmarioMartial -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

4-0 this game, this is atrocious

[–]klempo -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Another not fun weekend afternoon. I'm getting sick of this...

[–]thesmallprint13Shaw 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

embarrassing "defending" from us

[–]FellowOnSnow 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I have to say it once again, Blind is a ball-playing holding midfielder

[–]Purpsmcgurps -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pedro has been terrorizing us for years. that was abysmal though

[–]MaieskHarambe 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

For every half-decent performance Blind puts in, he fucks up and costs us an important game. Worthless Van Gaal signing.

[–]Trickybuz93Schweinsteiger 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just logged onto my stream. Wtf

[–]SonofIndiaVan Persie 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

the fuck!

[–]manchesterunitedgoal 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fuck just happened? Stream didn't start, down 1-0.

[–]MattSR30He's big, he's brave, he's Spanish Dave! 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wanna see one of them 'match thread word clouds' now. Just a giant 'fuck' surrounded by a few tiny words.

[–]Cr7NeTwOrK 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's one way to start off a game

[–]Shadowbanned24601Formerly /u/colmshan1990 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

After they didn't pick up on Pedro's run he was always getting to that ball ahead of the three defenders.

De Gea gets to it first or Pedro scores. Don't think he had another option there.

[–]KimJungFu 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That went well, 1-0 to Chelsea after 40sec.. We will turn this around! :D

[–]super_nomadKeane 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's gonna be a long game

[–]ekaansh10MuchPower 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

hmm my food just got ruined

[–]spoofexKing Cantona 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

You've got to laugh.

Daley Blind not picking up the man despite 12 months experience at centre-back. De Gea needlessly coming out. Smalling marking air.

Fucking dumb.

[–]masticlez 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pathetic

[–]Naijaboy17Pogba -5ポイント-4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I didn't even have time to open the match thread and we'd already been scored on. We're going to be battered.

[–]IregretthischoiceHerrera 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Did we forget the game started?

[–]marcodjHerrera 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ok so handicap +1 for this one. Maybe we will attack from the start now!

[–]gurungp 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Horrible start! FUCK!

[–]Dinosaurcoloringbook 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Welp, no more parking the bus. LETS GO!!!!

[–]ajs2294Scholes 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Fucking hell, didn't even have the tele on yet.

[–]MoosjeMartial 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fucking horrible start. Now they're just gonna torment us.

[–]WaffleMan29Mata 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fucking killed my mood holy shit

[–]Melanjoly 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good start :/

[–]Thebritishlion 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

And back to watching the NFL

[–]PunyHumanoidHerrera 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was in the process of changing my Giants top to my Utd one when we conceded....not a great start in either game....

[–]masticlez 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why? Just fucking why? Bull shit

[–]Shotaro 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck's sake...

[–]HighOnNicotine 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hello darkness, my old friend.

[–]boredatworkinSK 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

That was awful defending. But a goal 30 seconds in will open up the game. At least we can't afford to park the bus now.

[–]ccdewa 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a shit defending

[–]stabmeinthehatSir Ryan 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well I guess we won't be parking the bus now.

[–]NGU-BenPogba 8ポイント9ポイント  (4子コメント)

But remember lads, Daley Blind is underrated.

[–]tetayk 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why the hell did Smalling let that go?

And now you blame the left back when CB should be the one who cut the pass?

[–]TomMatthews 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yes cuz one mistake means a player is shit!

[–]NGU-BenPogba 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's got a mistake in him and cost us games in the past.

[–]ShinyLikeMyMagikarp 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can't blame Blind for that... DDG shouldnt have come out and Smalling should have attacked the ball

[–]OhmResistance 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is an interesting game now

[–]abhijithmandyaThe Upturned Collar 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

Fuck me right? My one source of happiness in the week and we start with Pedro scoring.

[–]Naijaboy17Pogba 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep. Life sucks and United used to be my way of enjoying things just for one fucking day at least and all we do now is fail.

[–]notsopro -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

You need more things to make you happy in life..

[–]tetayk -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Smalling WTF!

[–]WaffleMan29Mata 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just can't believe that.

[–]tyrroiGiggs 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

wtf

[–]im_gettingold 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

... okay...

[–]mcdngrDe Gea - wish we had 11 of him 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fuck was that smalling?

[–]HairyArthurManchester United 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good start lads.

[–]Crusty_Gammon_FlapsBailly 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fuck? Stream went down and I come back to this? Fuck me side ways.

[–]ShwilyBest 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh you have to be fucking kidding me

[–]DP112Herrera 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is gonna be a long match

[–]_jdams 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow what the fuck was that defending

[–]rossco9Ander Herrera 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

Back to bed then. Fucking kill me.

[–]Pimp-My-Alpaca 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hello darkness my old friend

[–]Low-Born-Scum 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fuck was degea doing?

[–]ClwNzaMartial 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck my life

[–]Qwertyasdfzxcv123 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

wow wtf

[–]nabraham12Rooney 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK

[–]Bo_DallasScholes 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Please god just kill me.

[–]omegaxLoLAnder Herrera 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Uhm

What

[–]BamFuller24 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

Gonna go play overwatch now LMAO

[–]AquaTr33sMartial 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The iris embraces you

[–]virtua13Blind -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Plastic

[–]KING_OF_SLOTHVan Nistelrooy -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

dont come back mate

[–]BamFuller24 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'll be back on Wednesday ;)

[–]Shadowbanned24601Formerly /u/colmshan1990 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well the good news is we have to attack now.

That was poor though.

[–]TheSmallIndianHerrera 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

I hate everything right now. I woke up to watch this game but I don't have the channel and I can't stream it cause my Internet is down

[–]AranciataExcess 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

How'd you post on Reddit then if the net is down?

[–]imsowitty21 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

go back to sleep

[–]TheDrySkinOnYourKnee 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well shit.

[–]YourTypicalSaudiAnder Hererra 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fuck just happened!!

[–]ajemikRooney 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck.

[–]estpostKeane 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

[–]drrew76 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do Blind and Smalling not speak?

[–]urlnojaHerrera 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Pack it up lads, it's already over.

Edit: Obligatory /s because apparently ya'll are some salty m'fuckers.

[–]MyoldaccounthadkarmaRooney -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

Good we don't want fans like you now fuck off.

[–]urlnojaHerrera 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Christ, you must know I'm not serious.

[–]KittensAreEvil 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fuck just happened...

[–]LakerBullMartial 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fuck was David doing?

[–]Klaent 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

haha wtf

[–]kaoticreapzRashgod 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

WHY DID DAVE COME OUT, FFS.

[–]OTownTrillaFoRilla 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Whoops

[–]silkie_blondoKing Dave 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's embarrassing.

[–]Count__Duckula 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

WHAT THE FUCK

[–]AquaTr33sMartial 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow what the fuck

[–]liamwpkLiam Whelan 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Rip

[–]uzrnmechkzoutIbrahimovic 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow... what a way to start

[–]Moriarty_LogicOle Gunnar Solskjær 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wait, what?

[–]ObstinatePoltergeistRooney 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck

[–]RAKtheUndeadIrwin 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the flying fuck was that?

[–]kaoticreapzRashgod 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wtf was that.

[–]KingCantona777 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh dear

[–]IndridCold11 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Welp

[–]TheTazTurnerRooney 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

fuck me

[–]Custard_NoobMartial. He's isolated. Skrtel here. OHHHHH YESSS! 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck

[–]fellowe5Shaw 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

kill me

[–]dxdrummerDe Gea 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow

[–]Giggsy99He's been a red; all his life; he will shag his brothers wife! 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fucking hell was that?

[–]drrew76 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well.

[–]21unitedArendscamefromfrance 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

WTF

[–]SantagetoutClauseMourinho 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the fucks just happened

[–]Mitchel_C95Blind 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Great start lads.

[–]WaffleMan29Mata 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Kay

[–]DP112Herrera 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dave mate

[–][削除されました]  (1子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]Crusty_Gammon_FlapsBailly 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Let's hope their defence have a right shitter.

    [–]DoM1nMemphis 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Young over Memphis again. (sigh)

    [–]thesmallprint13Shaw 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    "their most successful and most mesmermeric manager, and its live!"

    martin tyler with a bit of a cock up there

    [–]Naijaboy17Pogba -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The top 2 clubs in England to do battle. 9 of the last 12 premier league titles won by either side.

    [–]ScotsmaniaHorny 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Hopefully Zlatan does something ridiculous today, i've a feeling we're going to need it.

    [–]SonofIndiaVan Persie 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Gary Neville and Martin Tyler.

    if nothing, listening to this game will be fun!

    [–]KingCantona777 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Come on lads! Raise hell and eat cornbread yee yee!

    [–]AfreeZSir Alex Ferguson 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Good on the Chelsea supporters for acknowledging Jose.

    [–]PhoenixAlex 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    come on UNITED

    [–]Cr7NeTwOrK 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I know its gonna be a defensive tactical game from us, but hoping we can nick a goal!

    [–]ajemikRooney 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Let's go!

    [–]YourTypicalSaudiAnder Hererra 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Come on United let's get the win today!

    [–]zomgnerd 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    You know, I hope we keep the 4-3-3. I'd be very OK with Mata and Pogba swapping roles, Zlatan and Rooney swapping roles, Fellaini and Carrick swapping roles, and Schniderlin and Herrera swapping roles. Every position has a solid substitute.

    [–]vill05 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Guess who's back bit from sky was good.

    [–]Mitchel_C95Blind 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Was disappointed they didn't slip in Microsoft Sam saying José tbh ;)

    [–]WhovianMoak 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

    That City draw makes me want this so much more.

    [–]Naijaboy17Pogba 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    This is 2 weeks in a row now where City and Tottenham have failed to get more than a draw. We absolutely need to win.

    [–]WhovianMoak 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Last season we always choked when they gave us an opening, I'm dying to see that change. We need to be 3 off the top.

    [–]HighOnNicotine 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I sooo want Zlatan to climb over David Luiz and bury a header into the top corner.

    [–]Iniasuh_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Where can i stream for free

    [–]SonofIndiaVan Persie 0ポイント1ポイント  (5子コメント)

    Savage is in the expert box with Henry. No Savage in the commentary box then!

    E: Sourness, not Savage

    [–]NGU-BenPogba 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

    You don't know Souness do you?

    [–]SonofIndiaVan Persie 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

    is Sourness in the Sky team?

    [–]NGU-BenPogba 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Yes, there's no Savage on Sky and Henry is most definitely on SKy.

    [–]SonofIndiaVan Persie 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    aaa! yes. sorry, thanks!

    brain-fart!

    [–]VaudevilleVillain 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

    I'm in an airport with a terrible WiFi. Need you lads to be my eyes and ears. GGMU

    [–]ThadderfulRooney 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

    terrible wifi is normally enough to stream the radio broadcast if nothing else! Give it a try if you cant get a video stream

    [–]VaudevilleVillain 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Cheers. Might give that a try. Just as well my flight is delayed

    [–]VaudevilleVillain 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Cheers. Might give that a try. Just as well my flight is delayed

    [–]TrebolationsJose Mourinho 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I can trust Bailly and Smalling to deal with Costa, I just hope Valencia doesn't fuck up against Hazard.

    [–]frankowen18 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    We're fortunate Spurs, Arsenal and City have all dropped points in this tough run of games for us also. For me, it eases the pressure in this one a bit. Hoping for a performance like Anfield but where Ibra and Pogba actually turn up.

    [–]DP112Herrera 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Conte still reminds me of John Travolta

    [–]DelusionalThomas666Blind 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Please welcome, the wickedly talented, one and only, Adele Dazeem.

    MFW

    [–]matty2kMemphis 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The bridge is over. Let's go boys!!

    [–]PenPaperShotgun 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Our team only really ticks with Mata and a proper passer. I hope I'm wrong but I think we need Mata

    [–]KING_OF_SLOTHVan Nistelrooy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    City, Tottenham and Arsenal all dropping points, great opportunity to make up some ground

    [–]KittensAreEvil 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Conte is a decent manager and started ok, but Chelsea still have weaknesses. Praying Jose can do a number on them.

    [–]Moriarty_LogicOle Gunnar Solskjær 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

    I hope Zlatan bites a chunk off David Luiz's hair. Still remember his smug little cunty face smiling up when he got Rafael sent off.

    [–]TrebolationsJose Mourinho 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Don't they have history from the 2014 UCL tie between PSG and Chelsea? Chelsea players complaint to send Zlatan off and he said that they were all babies or something like that

    [–]IndridCold11 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Yeah but then they played with each other in PSG the last two years and became what seemed like good friends, so I doubt he's gonna bite him! One can hope though.

    [–]Moriarty_LogicOle Gunnar Solskjær 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Yeah, that's true too. Even more reason for Zlatan to karate-chop the Chelski peeps.

    [–]Crusty_Gammon_FlapsBailly 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Say this every time but we really need to win today after everyone who has played so far but Liverpool has dropped points above us.

    [–]Pigeon_AssholeGerrard = 0 22ポイント23ポイント  (6子コメント)

    Girlfriend made me go for a walk this afternoon. I have 19 minutes to walk home which is 30 minutes away

    Edit: LADS IM GONNA FUCKING MAKE IT

    [–]liamwpkLiam Whelan 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Hope you didn't make it in time for that shit

    [–]HighOnNicotine 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    You made it on time, but our defense was still in the locker room.

    [–]DanevatiBlind 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Tell her you feel romantic and steal someone's bike.

    [–]KittensAreEvil 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Run Forrest Run

    [–]DelusionalThomas666Blind 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Tell her you feel like sprinting.

    [–]stoneymufcDe Gea 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Need Zlatan to turn up today

    [–]TyperSniperKeane 20ポイント21ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Way less nervous than I was before the Liverpool match, this should be interesting.

    [–]cruddyhoneybadgerBerbarotica 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

    3 at the back for Chelsea? Can we take advantage?

    [–]jonobateForlán 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Watching Higginbottom's analysis of how we played against Liverpool I think we can definitely take advantage. Zlatan, Pogba and Fellaini will cause they're back 3 problems

    [–]matt768Ibrahimovic 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

    If we win, we are 3 points off 1st place, cmon!!!!!

    [–]AinsleyKnows 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

    City just drew. Let's grab all three points and close in on them!

    [–]Jano118811 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Fellaini to boss their midfield

    [–]minerva_swaysVidić 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    And Ander, he was monumental against the pool.

    [–]Moriarty_LogicOle Gunnar Solskjær 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

    God, I'm feeling so damn anxious.