#EvangelicalTrump Saved Twitter From Being Bored As Hell

Trump 3:16: God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that looked like Hitler had sex with a Pumpkin#EvangelicalTrump

— Johnny Taylor, Jr. (@hipsterocracy) October 18, 2016

"You should look into this 'virgin' Mary's past, believe me. You'll find some very questionable things." #evangelicaltrump

— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) October 18, 2016

Grab them by the burning bush!#EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy

— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) October 18, 2016

"I would like to see Jesus' birth certificate." #EvangelicalTrump

— Trish (@Ms_Ventura_xoxo) October 18, 2016

Marriage should be between one man and a series of progressively younger women #EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy

— Donald J. Drumpf (@RealDonalDrumpf) October 18, 2016

Look, I'm not proud of what I said about Mary Magdalene. It was just Roman bathhouse talk #EvangelicalTrump

— Jer-Jer (@DALLASNITES) October 18, 2016

He turns water into whining #EvangelicalTrump

— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) October 18, 2016

"And the Lord commanded Noah to build an Ark! But God was unhappy with the final result, so He did not pay Noah."

#EvangelicalTrump

— Dreamweasel (@Dreamweasel) October 18, 2016

Jesus rose from the dead in three days. I could've done it in one. Ahead of schedule. Believe me. #EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy

— Jason Lefthand (@jasonlefthand) October 18, 2016

And on the seventh day, he rested. So I fired him. Resting's for losers. #EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy

— Richard Jeter (@MilesToGo13) October 18, 2016

We're going to build an ark. And the animals are going to pay for it. #EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy

— Dan Stabb (@DanStabb) October 18, 2016

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Bad investment, he lost a lot of money. Sad. #EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy

— Ben Hooper (@BenHooperWrites) October 18, 2016

Yay as I copter through the shadow of death...... #EvangelicalTrump

— Aaron Weinbaum (@aaronsayswhat1) October 18, 2016

"I call him 'Shady Jesus.' He says he's Jesus of Nazareth, but he's born in Bethlehem. Which one is it? We don't know!" #EvangelicalTrump

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 18, 2016

"People say I've been inappropriate with nuns. Have you seen nuns? I don't think so!"#EvangelicalTrump

— andy lassner (@andylassner) October 18, 2016

#evangelicaltrump
The meek shall inherit nothing. Losers.

— Paul Lander (@paul_lander) October 18, 2016

“He was a savior because he was crucified. I like saviors who weren’t crucified.”#EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy pic.twitter.com/3hmtFjRbTC

— Wily Carson (@WilyCarson) October 18, 2016

#EvangelicalTrump pic.twitter.com/NsofPOtwtR

— Donald Trump 33A.D. (@Trump33AD) October 18, 2016

Jesus claimed he was carpenter, but where is the proof? No buildings anywhere! I have many many buildings. #EvangelicalTrump pic.twitter.com/sQ3yjxOBiT

— GumboYaYa (@CurtCBryant) October 18, 2016

#evangelicaltrump “When I said Two Corinthians, the corrupt media hit me. But we’re gonna have so many more Corinthians, folks, believe me!”

— Harold Itzkowitz (@HaroldItz) October 18, 2016

No way Delilah would've cut off my hair.
Have you seen her? She would not be my 1st choice. #EvangelicalTrump @HuffPostComedy @lancegould

— Laurie Crosswell 👻 (@lauriecrosswell) October 18, 2016

Hannity is my shepherd, I shall not want. Just ask him, already! #EvangelicalTrump

— Brandon Cloud (@theclobra) October 18, 2016