3747
3748

Don't open till Christmas (i.imgur.com)

chiftnikht が 投稿

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]Dingis_Son_of_Dongus 256ポイント257ポイント  (39子コメント)

I hear one of those gift swapping games is going on here

[–]Donald_Keyman 266ポイント267ポイント  (37子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/HzBFRRh.jpg

[–]heeloo 661ポイント662ポイント  (21子コメント)

I'd just like to let the NSA, FBI, and whoever else is listening to know right now that i did not know what i was clicking on

[–]elitegenoside 53ポイント54ポイント  (0子コメント)

Gotcha ;)

[–]Donald_Keyman 166ポイント167ポイント  (7子コメント)

[F]15 getting her ass banged

[–]EU_cantafford_Bo3 29ポイント30ポイント  (0子コメント)

WOW! She looks like she's used to it by now.

[–]ArmanDoesStuff 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

She looks like a flighty one.

[–]Ben__Diesel 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Let this be a lesson to everyone (like myself) who clicks links before reading them

[–]chadsexytime 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

It didn't matter what you called that picture, I clicked it before I read the name.

[–]FortunePaw 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's clearly a [F/A]18

[–]Stein1212 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is that a sonic boom? Can u see a sonic boom?

[–]xilban 19ポイント20ポイント  (2子コメント)

Guess what? Your home is now burglar proof.

[–]EroticCakes 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

too late

[–]KexyKnave 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Likewise, forgot what sub I was in for a moment. Double checked, still a bit confused didn't realize this was no holds barred.

[–]AaaandYoureOnAList 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

[–]Dsiee 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

But you got exactly what you were hoping for!

[–]Tadstole 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

V& and b&

[–]FBIagentPosingAsKid 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Too late bitch you're under arrest

[–]spiritbx 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You were clicking on a popscicle ad of something. They are just lickable!

[–]Dr_WaLLy_T_WyGGerS 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Suuuuuure you didn't...

コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

    [–]skippieelove 117ポイント118ポイント  (4子コメント)

    What the ever loving fuck.....that's a joke right? There is no way that is an actual ad....right?!?!!?

    [–]digitalhate 99ポイント100ポイント  (3子コメント)

    It isn't. We're still on a list now, though.

    [–]Chewcocca 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Breyers. Unfortunately the image is now circulating around the internet in a reduced size that makes the text hard to read, leading some people to think that it might actually be a real ad.

    ...

    links a reduced size version that makes the text hard to read

    [–]iSkateiPod 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Just opened the door that can't close.

    Fuck.

    [–]Davedeaux 21ポイント22ポイント  (0子コメント)

    "And just like that, Carl's hopes of a career in Marketing came to a screeching halt."

    [–]CocaTrooper42 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I'm so glad this isn't real

    [–]okmkz 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I feel so unclean

    [–]XVioletStrand 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

    -LISTED-

    [–]Xx_420BlackSanic_xX 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

    PROTOCOL ZERO!!!!

    [–]Puck_The_Fackers 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I really fucking hate you for posting that.

    [–]Sexyazzwife 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    This can't be real. If it is someone knew what they were doing.

    コメントをもっと表示する (2 返事)

      [–]nooshaw 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5tVbVu9Mkg

      [–]-Bacchus- 53ポイント54ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I like my present

      [–]Donald_Keyman 350ポイント351ポイント  (21子コメント)

      http://i.imgur.com/UdOXJxi.jpg

      [–]PiranhaJAC 148ポイント149ポイント  (15子コメント)

      Is that an underwear advert? Is it advertising how stealthy the pants are?

      [–]EnzoGourlami 104ポイント105ポイント  (8子コメント)

      Translation from Portuguese: Merry Christmas! D'uomo underwear Comfort is fashionable

      [–]blarghable 143ポイント144ポイント  (7子コメント)

      that still doesn't make any fucking sense...

      [–]RandomCivilian 49ポイント50ポイント  (5子コメント)

      If anything I have even more questions now.

      [–]DailyNumber 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

      I have an equal number of questions now as I had before. What the fuck?

      [–]ArmanDoesStuff 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

      I have one less but I've picked up three more!

      [–]Malhavoc430 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

      So it's like watching a season of LOST

      [–]nick2k23 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Whilst being really drunk

      [–]amalgam_reynolds 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      The answer is that he absolutely destroyed that kid, whom he had never before met, anally.

      [–]EnzoGourlami 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

      You right. I never said it was a good ad

      [–]Candroi 15ポイント16ポイント  (2子コメント)

      I think the implication is that mommy and daddy are getting sexytime now that the presents are out?

      [–]Ezzbrez 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Or just he put out presents early in the morning and thus still wearing what he wears to bed, then kids wake up and almost catch him.

      [–]Beefsugar 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I was thinking maybe he was trying to dress as Santa and almost got caught? Honestly I'm just confused now.

      [–]aukir 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I'd guess it's reversing the idea that kids will sneak out in their underwear to catch santa or parents leaving presents?

      [–]HRHill 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      His dick and balls cheat the wind.

      コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

        [–]porkchopfork 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

        I thought it was Dustin from Stranger Things

        [–]johnnyrip 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Pedopants?

        [–]AFatDarthVader 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

        Donald, seriously, you've got to stop with these non-gif comments.

        [–]Dumb_Dick_Sandwich 104ポイント105ポイント  (5子コメント)

        I'd buy this in an adult size

        [–]heeloo 60ポイント61ポイント  (1子コメント)

        yes you would, you dirty goddamn sandwich

        [–]MadDannyBear 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

        "Get outta the road you stupid sandwich!"

        [–]sladenlane 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

        Don't do it, you'll definitely have to poop before Christmas.

        [–]Dumb_Dick_Sandwich 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

        True. My kind are celebrated poopers

        [–]tedlondon 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

        For your daughter? That's even more disturbing.

        [–]Donald_Keyman 86ポイント87ポイント  (4子コメント)

        Puts a new meaning on waiting all night for Santa to come.

        [–]Donkey-boner 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Youre a bad man....

        [–]TheKharmeleon 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

        We are all going to hell after reading these comments.

        [–]4thh0rs3man 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        More like we might all be going to jail. At the very minimum a pedo watch list.

        [–]SoManyNinjas 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        In a handbasket

        [–]limeyfrog 446ポイント447ポイント  (59子コメント)

        Daddy's Christmas present

        [–]BerlinSpiderRocket 44ポイント45ポイント  (9子コメント)

        He makes me squishy☁️

        [–]Emerald_Triangle 55ポイント56ポイント  (8子コメント)

        Just me and my 💕daddy💕, hanging out I got pretty hungry🍆 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy 😍🍆 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 💦cummies!💦 Yeah! Yeah!💕💦 I drink them!💦 I slurp them!💦 I swallow them whole💦 😍 It makes 💘daddy💘 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕💦😫Harder daddy! Harder daddy! 😫💦💕 1 cummy💦, 2 cummy💦💦, 3 cummy💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 I'm 💘daddy's💘 👑princess 👑but I'm also a whore! 💟 He makes me feel squishy💗!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a little should!~ 💘💘💘 👑💦💘Wa-What!💘💦👑

        [–]Soulburner7 214ポイント215ポイント  (14子コメント)

        Joke is a little too pedophilly for me.

        [–]Giinto 207ポイント208ポイント  (7子コメント)

        Pedophilly, the home of the Philadelphia is she Leagles.

        [–]TROLOLUCASLOL 39ポイント40ポイント  (5子コメント)

        The Phillidelphia Barely Leagles

        [–]NDdownVOTED 26ポイント27ポイント  (4子コメント)

        Barely legal means you're not a pedopheagle.

        [–]dsriggs 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

        The Ill Eagles?

        [–]Chewcocca 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

        They better have a licence to do that.

        [–]koteuop 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Well you don't have to do much work to the Phillies to make it the Philes.

        [–]Deathsim 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

        In west pedophillya born and raised...on the playground is where he spent most of his days...

        コメントをもっと表示する (5 返事)

          [–]SailorRipley 34ポイント35ポイント  (23子コメント)

          Reminds me of a joke my Dad used to tell: Mom walks in on teenage daughter packing her suitcase and asks: Why are you packing?

          Girl: Cause Daddy said when I turn 16 he was going to Tampa with me.

          Ugh, Dad jokes.

          [–]Tekkam3 21ポイント22ポイント  (21子コメント)

          I don't get it.

          [–]SkySniper 23ポイント24ポイント  (12子コメント)

          Tampa = tamper maybe?

          [–]raptosaurus 28ポイント29ポイント  (8子コメント)

          I've never heard tamper used in that context

          [–]cock_baron 9ポイント10ポイント  (7子コメント)

          'Tamp' is common parlance for a rugrat buggerer in the lower socioeconomic areas of my home state.

          [–]NDdownVOTED 23ポイント24ポイント  (5子コメント)

          What's a rugrat buggerer?

          [–]ThePeskyWabbit 20ポイント21ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Sort of like a tamp

          [–]cock_baron 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

          'Rugrat buggerer' is common parlance for a diaper sniper in the lower socioeconomic areas of my home state.

          [–]martix_agent 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          So what's a diaper sniffer?

          [–]Frommerman 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

          A transient philanderer.

          [–]degaman 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

          A tamper.

          [–]luciusXVIII 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Which state is this??

          [–]Stressmove 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          You're correct. I like the joke tbh.

          [–]Hereitcums 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Town ?

          [–]fincbdrummer 12ポイント13ポイント  (2子コメント)

          I think Tampa is interpreted as tamper here. It's a bit of a stretch of an innuendo, but then it'd make sense.

          [–]Turdcervix 25ポイント26ポイント  (1子コメント)

          Haha, yeah who the fuck says tamper in a sexual way? "Hey wanna go back to my place and tamper? I just wanna tinker with your dingles..."

          [–]burritosandblunts 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

          I tried reading it at all speeds and pronunciations and I don't either.

          [–]colours 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

          To tamper with me. Tampa with me. :(

          [–]burritosandblunts 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          I feel like there could have been a way better way to do that.

          [–]DMSmarine 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Tampa is the name of a Floridian city. Not sure if that's the intended meaning.

          コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

            コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

              [–]KNueve83 9ポイント10ポイント  (2子コメント)

              "I dunno sweetie it must have been Santa."

              [–]Mackem101 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

              "Ho ho ho, sit on my knee and I'll empty my sack for you"

              [–]tanne_sita_jallua 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

              But why does Santa's penis taste just like daddys?

              [–]MacLochaber 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

              And after Santa came, there was an awkward silence as he got dressed and left Heather's room.

              [–]calexil 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

              jesus, man.....

              コメントをもっと表示する (5 返事)

                [–]more_sarcasm 122ポイント123ポイント  (11子コメント)

                http://imgur.com/a/Feos9

                [–]XcockblockulaX 86ポイント87ポイント  (7子コメント)

                Ahem

                [–]cerberus_cat 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                What year am I in?

                [–]AkariAkaza 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                I legitimately believe this is the first time I've seen pedo bear since i was about 14, 8 years later and it still makes me laugh

                [–]thewanderingway 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                http://i.imgur.com/BO7rmKK.jpg

                [–]sdcarlisle13 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

                Dammit Heather!!

                [–]AWOL768 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

                I hope we are talking about Christmas 2030

                [–]Liturgy_Loon 93ポイント94ポイント  (18子コメント)

                Ya'll need Jesus. To me this is a poop joke, the presents are poops.

                [–]Rhesusmonkeydave 160ポイント161ポイント  (3子コメント)

                So she's supposed to wallow in shit until the 25th? That isn't any less disturbing

                [–]-deebrie- 22ポイント23ポイント  (2子コメント)

                That's my fetish

                [–]AlexJohnsonSays 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

                6 year olds covered in shit? NSA this thread needs an adult

                [–]aclayp95 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

                That would make sense if it were baby pj's but I doubt many 8 yr olds hold poop in their underwear.

                [–]vetch222 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                Did you just assume her age?

                -TRIGGERED-

                [–]nemyhlol 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                What a shitty gift

                コメントをもっと表示する (10 返事)

                  [–]MundanePsychoDrama 35ポイント36ポイント  (2子コメント)

                  Mommy's going to have competition under the mistletoe this year

                  [–]thepest97 33ポイント34ポイント  (3子コメント)

                  A little peak before Christmas won't hurt.

                  [–]IDontCareAboutThings 10ポイント11ポイント  (5子コメント)

                  Is that when she turns 18? Because she does not look 17.

                  [–]BiscuitOfLife 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

                  "But officer, she said she was 18!"

                  [–]dewright23 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

                  It's a legitimate defense in Missouri.
                  2. Whenever in this chapter the criminality of conduct depends upon a child being less than seventeen years of age, it is an affirmative defense that the defendant reasonably believed that the child was seventeen years of age or older.

                  [–]Pannra 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Should be applicable to any girl you meet in a club.

                  [–]BiscuitOfLife 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  reasonably believed

                  so in this case, it would not be a legitimate defense in Missouri.

                  Though I do agree with the fact that if a - wait, less than seventeen? Is seventeen the age of consent in Missouri, not 18?

                  [–]quantumturnip 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  http://2static4.fjcdn.com/comments/With+time+you+ll+get+to+at+least+silver+i+don+t+_eef50b3a23f225131bc0c3609ff2ffec.jpg

                  [–]PM_ME_SOME_DRUGS 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Heather is one sick fuck.

                  [–]kinyutaka 17ポイント18ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  Heather, why don't you have a seat? Right over there.

                  [–]fontanella404 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

                  Compiled with the creepy green face, (upper right), I would feel compelled to investigate whomever arranged this ad.

                  [–]curly123 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  https://2new3.fjcdn.com/reaction_gifs/5955144+_022078ab622660d99bd5e629c7b6106a.gif

                  [–]satisfried 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

                  So does it come in adult sizes?

                  [–]Anarchitects 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  God dammit, Heather.

                  [–]Donald_Keyman 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  Heather needs some different responsibilities within the company.

                  [–]ThereAreThings 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  The Heather in this ad is Heather Resiman who is the CEO of Indigo Books & Music:

                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heather_Reisman

                  [–]MilesGates 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Oh, I thought Heather was the small girl... I was very confused why a CEO was a child.

                  [–]HardcoreHazza 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Heather needs help if that's her pick for Christmas.

                  [–]holysocks 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  so this is where the dark web is, i've finally found you

                  [–]AllanfromWales 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  If she waits until christmas to open it, it'll be full of shit.

                  [–]thecouchpundit 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Trending now with bundles of Round Trip tickets to Thailand.

                  [–]imjustashadow 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Good thing I'm just dreaming.

                  [–]pradeepkanchan 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  Dammit Canada

                  [–]AnUnfriendlyCanadian 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  ...I claim no responsibility for this.

                  [–]Dixon_Butte 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Hubba hubba!

                  [–]-underdog- 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Soooo where can I get this in adult size?

                  [–]nsmith8379 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  That has to be deliberate. The thought of that inadvertently making it all the way through the advertising process is just disheartening.

                  [–]Rhesusmonkeydave 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Probably went a little something like this

                  [–]shahooster 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Bet there'll be a nice surprise awaiting.

                  [–]TXcocoTX 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  "We need to get these damn PJs off her. It's been 3 months. There is shit literally squeezing out of the butt flap"

                  [–]flossorapture 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Was thinking this wouldn't be so bad if it were a boy.. nope wrong still bad.

                  [–]PhilSeven 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Mrs. Santa's Little Sister

                  [–]Starg8te 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Pedophiles' Delight

                  [–]Thehyperbalist 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Ew, why? Then what happens?

                  [–]SmashBear 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Just like JonBenet.

                  [–]CocaTrooper42 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  ...because you it's fine to look at a young girl's underwear on Christmas?

                  Jesus, Heather. Pick something else.

                  [–]HOMUNCULUSWOT 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  this post must have momentarily induced unspeakable thoughts in thousands of men.

                  [–]ctahoem 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  This is /r/crappydesign at best

                  [–]warpfield 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  heather's pick, daddy's dick :)

                  [–]B0000000BS 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a poopy diaper joke or an anal sex joke, but either way it's inappropriate for a kid that age. I don't like it.

                  [–]NOTson 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Hot

                  [–]MrHeather 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  I absolutely did not pick this.

                  [–]Bpsf83 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  "Introducing Trump Pajamas, so amazing, so perfect, such easy access, you'll love them as much as I do." - Donald J. Trump

                  [–]suburbanscumbag23 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Damn anyone know what store this ad was 4 ...This is just so wrong .. Wonder if theirs a subreddit for marketing mishaps

                  [–]PapercutNipples 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  No way this is real

                  [–]Twoo22 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  u/monkey-brains94 what jimmy gets for his biological children

                  [–]vpjoebauers 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  The night little Missy learned Santa comes in the back door, not the chimney.

                  [–]Gravelord-_Nito 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Heather's Pick ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

                  [–]BadgerOverlord 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Jesus christ, Heather.

                  コメントをもっと表示する (45 返事)