The mantra for the past two generations in America has been that women suffer from low self-esteem brought on by a multitude of negative influences such as teacher bias, misogyny, old boys’ networks, parenting favoritism, double standards, gender stereotyped toys, etc.
Le Chateau representatives are here to tell you the low female self-esteem industry has been one giant scam perpetrated on gullible liberals and cowed conservatives. Women — American women in particular — don’t have a low self-esteem problem; just the opposite — they have a problem of unwarranted high self-esteem. What kind of woman do you get when you combine a cultural apparatus designed to maximally extol the virtues of womanhood and cast all fault for any female shortcomings on male bias and discrimination with a biologically innate evolutionary imperative that renders men more expendable than women? Answer:
A woman with a big fat head.
From the cradle, women are groomed by their peers, family, society and DNA-coded algorithms alike to embrace the joys of big-headedness. It used to be only beautiful women had this problem (and with at least a semblance of justification based on real value), but now ugly women, fat women, and lawyers are all riding the phony low self-esteem grievance chariot to the entitled princess winners’ circle. The result has been to produce a nation of broads hell-bent on seeing themselves as god’s gift to god himself.
The worst thing a man could do would be to feed this beast even further with traditional courtship game. It’s not for nothing that modern game focuses so much attention on breaking down a woman’s self-esteem into manageable chunks — negs, qualification, teasing, push-pull, takeaways, calculated indifference — all are game tactics with the primary purpose of knocking bigheaded chicks off their royal, gilded vaj-shaped thrones. And these tactics are effective precisely because girls want to be dethroned by a man of higher value than themselves, whether they admit to this or not.
The funny thing about female self-esteem is that it doesn’t take much to help it grow wildly beyond the bounds of the pot it was planted in. All women are born with a self-entitlement complex preinstalled. Eggs are biologically more expensive than sperm, and the brain of each sex has evolved to reflect that immutable procreative reality; in women, their minds are primed from birth to regard themselves as the more valuable sex, and this regard is not without merit, at least in the reproductive realm, which is the realm that underpins all other realms. Men, by contrast, are primed to regard themselves as less individually valuable than women, and this manifests as a willingness to take more mortal risks.
So now that we know that women start with a higher basal self-esteem than men, wouldn’t it make more sense for a healthy, functioning society to turn its cultural apparatus toward the project of boosting men’s self-esteem? In fact, this is what quasi-patriarchal Western societies used to do, before they were infected with the late decadent, postmodern deconstructivism and victimology virii. Now the optimal pattern has been completely turned on its head — intrinsically high self-esteem women are administered supercharged booster injections of ego-stroking, while intrinsically low self-esteem men are, either deliberately or coincidentally, pushed further into ego-deflating self-abnegation. See: March 2009 BOTM.
The goals of this outpost of bristling reality are, one, to acquaint readers with the truth of the female (and male) condition that exists past the boundaries of mainstream-approved polite discourse and, two, to arm the male readers (and, by extension, the female readers) with the tools to capitalize on that taboo knowledge. Thankfully, there are plenty of readers here who contribute to that knowledge base. Reader PA comments:
Gentle and friendly teasing is not intimidating, and creates a sort of rapport that makes one feel at ease.
Exactly. This is true even with non-sexual interaction. Think the last time you saw a man who is good with kids. He will ‘neg’ the girl by saying stuff like: “hey! you’re cheating! no red crayon allowed!” or whatever.
Boys, on the other hand, don’t like to be negged. If you’re good with kids, you will build him up with stuff like “that’s really cool. Can you draw it bigger?” etc.
If you have young nieces and nephews, you will quickly recognize the truth in PA’s comment. Nieces respond positively — with glee, even — to prototype negs and teasing; the sort of banter that modern feminists would describe as demeaning. In contrast, little boys, with their fragile egos, wilt under negs and teasing, but respond well to compliments and encouragement. Mothers instinctively know this, as they will often reprimand the fathers for being too discouraging or too critical with their sons while giving the fathers a pass or a semi-serious chiding when they tease the daughters.
The great irony here is that what makes good parenting is exactly the opposite of what feminists claim is the best way to raise boys and girls. Parents know, deep down, that to raise a good daughter you must keep her ego judiciously pruned, and to raise a good son you must suffuse his ego with promise.
Game theory — in fact, most social theory — has much to owe to the instinctual rapport that emerges between father and child, before diseased memes intrude and sully the message. When you want to better understand the nature of game and how it helps attract women, think of how you treat your niece, or how a father you know treats his young daughter. Recall how effortlessly the negs and teasing spilled from your lips when you were goofing around with your little niece. Recall, too, how she squealed with delight. Then take that knowledge and apply it — almost verbatim! — to your seductions of adult women. Their vocal pitch may change, but the squeal remains the same.
Today, in the era of the bloated female ego, the mark of a quality woman is a humble woman. Meet a pretty woman like this — usually foreign, and usually from a strong lower to middle class family — and marvel how refreshing she seems to the typical, mind and body bloated American chick you are used to dating. Unfortunately, more likely you will meet another egotistical bitch with self-love issues and will have to invest months training her (i.e. running game on her) to grace her with a proper and realistic humility. For those who love the game for what it is, this is not such a burdensome sacrifice. But for those who struggle to hear the strange tuning of women’s feminine nature, the required training may be a cost too high to pay.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
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especially in DC, where below average chicks think that their shit don’t stink
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It’s funny how reddit.com/r/seduction guys were trying to apologize themselves to the feminazis inhabiting reddit by saying that PUA is never about lowering a woman’s self-esteem, but instead about improving yourself.
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But don’t most western men support the current dysfunctional system through tacit approval of the status quo? Why?
Because they think they can “win” by being doormats. Unless they see that the converse is true, things won’t change.
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When you want to better understand the nature of game and how it helps attract women, think of how you treat your niece, or how a father you know treats his young daughter. Recall how effortlessly the negs and teasing spilled from your lips when you were goofing around with your little niece. Recall, too, how she squealed with delight. Then take that knowledge and apply it — almost verbatim! — to your seductions of adult women. Their vocal pitch may change, but the squeal remains the same.
That’s great. Modern-day Montaigne.
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What a beautiful piece of writing.
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What a beautiful piece of writing.
Hear, hear.
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Tactical question:
You make a great opening impression, solid neg, good non-verbal. You have the girl in a receptive state.
How do you transition this into a comfort-building rapport?
And ultimately, how do you go from aloof disinterested neg to asking for her number or going in for a kiss?
The problem with setting yourself up as ‘the pursued’ is that it seems like you then become the passive one in the escalation of the interaction.
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OT: Silvio Berlusconi (I know Roissy talks about this guy a lot) explains his game:
“Silvio Berlusconi said it was only natural that women were attracted to rich, powerful men of advancing years, suggesting that the thought running through their heads was: “He’s old, he dies and I inherit it”.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/8000225/Silvio-Berlusconi-tells-young-women-to-go-for-older-loaded-men.html
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young women in the prime of their youth were always kept under control for this, male ego doesn’t come close.
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Something I noticed this weekend at the club –
Women, in general, seem to be stuck-up miserable, anti-social bitches these days.
Here I was with 4 of my buddies at the club after a concert. We’ve been drinking, but we’re all suited up looking good and having a good time on the dance floor. 3 bachelorette parties and scores of other women dancing, but none of them wanted anything to do with mingling, quick conversation, dancing, NOTHING.
I mean, do these girls really not realize that in 5 years they’ll be desperate, settle for some beta or douche, have a kid to save the marraige, then get divorced and die alone?
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Very impressive and insightful.
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Excellent post and very true. I have always had high self esteem mostly based on nothing, as do most women and the best thing to do is bring us down a few notches. It makes us better people. I also agree with the advice PA gave about girls liking to be negged and boys dislike it.
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The reference to youth negs is one of the greatest points I have read in months.
The final paragraph of this post is one of the greatest paragraphs I have read in years.
Citizen Renegade 4 Life.
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Damn, I wish I could find the link to a recent Brit newspaper article of a blind date they had set up from their dating section where an overweight, unattractive, single mom (solid 3 at best) openly criticised her date for being ‘a plain looking man’. It was unbelievable.
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I think you’re discounting or ignoring how women feel about themselves in relation to other women. The hot 17-23 year-olds that you encounter: Do you think they have a bloated ego in comparison to the 35-year-old that you claim not to touch with a 10-foot pole? Whether or not it’s because of feminism (or maybe just evolutionary biology- “I’m 17, I haven’t yet procreated, I might die before I get to the age of 36, 46, 56, so let’s marvel at those who’ve made it there succesfully?), a hot 18-year-old is not going to feel superior to a “hot” 36-year-old ( used ” ” since you claim they don’t exist). That’s just the mind of an 18yo female: inferior feeling to older females (regardless of how unappealing they look to you as a guy). I guess it doesn’t matter that much to you how inferior they feel in comparison to other (older) women (girls generally know exactly where they rank in terms of same-aged peers) if they end up turning the bitch shield on you. But the teasing is great. The few times I’ve been gamed into complete speechlessness was pure heaven.
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Modesty is always an attractive trait. Modesty does not mean self-deprecation, though. Those that verbally diminish themselves are often fishing for complements, which is very unattractive.
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I agree with Thursday, its not about women’s self-esteem it is about their self-perceived SMV.
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“I have always had high self esteem mostly based on nothing, as do most women and the best thing to do is bring us down a few notches.”
I gotta disagree with the “most women.” You’re not taking into account for geography. If I had stayed in the environment where I was raised, I might have developed a bloated ego (based on reality). But I moved. Taking a rural transplant and moving more urban doesn’t make for a surplus of self esteem. When a suburb of a suburb of a mid-sized city seems cosmopolitan (because your definition of “international” travel involves visiting a new state), that doesn’t result in an inflated ego. Maybe it’s just a numbers game. “Most women” as in greater numbers of women in urban settings. But you’re forgetting rural America. If you pass over the tomboys and inbreds, there are a few gems left (with inferiority complexes).
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When a woman tells you she suffers from low self esteem you can safely assume that she probably suffers from overly high self esteem and occasionally gets a reality check in real life which hurts her feelings.
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I’d wager the level of insecurity women experience comes from a) intuitive knowledge that their egos are writing checks that their bodies can’t cash and b) the cognitive dissonance that ensues when they try. Most narcissists are nutcases when faced with real failure.
So they can simultaneously have huge egos and be ridiculously insecure, in fact there’s probably an inverse relationship between the two.
@Name:
The seeds are planted in teenagers but their sense of entitlement really doesn’t develop until they hit 22-23 or so, in my opinion.
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An inflated ego is one who is OVER compensating for an extrememly LOW self esteem. When one is self assured, truly assured, modesty will shine through, not the need for approval.
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@ Thursday
Totally, during night game I feel pretty sheepish when I open sets of 5s and 6s to kill time, keep warmed up, and potentially use as props later on, only to get blown out.
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I think women are intrinsically more narcissistic than men- a little more self-involved, all about their emotions and social standing. Until they have children. Men fall a little more naturally into hierarchies in which it’s clear who’s up and who’s down- after the obligatory competitions and sizing-ups. The point about little boys not responding well to negs is something I hadn’t thought of- I think it depends on the boy, the personality, confidence, etc. My nephews kind of like being teased in that way because they know it’s all within a supportive family environment. And mock-shaming can be a very good tool to break a kid of a bad or annoying habit.
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Most guys, even boys, see negs as a serious challenge unless they’re delivered from someone they know and trust. That’s why men don’t get catty- the natural progression is to settle words with fists.
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Some conflation’s going on.
1. self-respect: a method of assessment of one’s true value based on gauges that are footed in reality and largely objective.
2. self-esteem: an arbitrary, subjective, ad hoc value system, that is often inversionational and compensatory.
I’d say that to observe self-respect first hand, one needs to visit rural/semi-rural Texas. For self-esteem, a visit on any left coast would be a good place to observe its ballooning character.
My 2 pennies
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maurice,
Good point about boys. I think you can occasionally tease a boy very gently as long as he doesn’t feel like he is being humiliated in front of his peers. Boys do naturally fall into hierarchies I’ve noticed. My son is very honest at what boys are better at different things. Lightly negging kids a little within a supportive family environment I believe actually makes them better able to handle it when other people criticize or tease them.
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Badly written article, starting with the title. (“The Problem With Women Is Too Much Self-Esteem”….)
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Women from my area have it made – lots of betas throwing themselves and endless compliments at them constantly.
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The problem isn’t an overabundance of self-esteem…it’s that women never question the things they’re told, and that’s why they believe they’re so awesome, because they’re continually told it and don’t question it.
Women will say men hold them down and that’s why there are no great female thinkers. The reason there are no great female thinkers is because the average woman has the intellectual curiosity of a piece of celery.
Never forget that a woman objectively defines her worth based on not how she feels about herself, but how others feel about her.
And to be honest, I kind of feel bad for them. I’d hate myself if one day I was getting constant attention from the opposite sex that I watched slow to a trickle before I was 30, and my only sense of conception was from others and not myself.
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Basil Ransom, I’m sure you can point us to a superior article of yours, eh?
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The writer’s position is interesting: He exploits the culture he mocks and derides. Most critics of today’s world are haters pining for yesteryear, but this guy revels in societal devolution.
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Thank you for the article. I have long been saying that bloated self-esteem is one of the root problems.
Like the Woody Allen character who wouldn’t join any club that would have him as a member, women consider themselves good enough for the hottest alpha guy that will fuck them, and too good for any guy with sincere intentions that would take them seriously as a mate.
And, of course, the mindset also infects our workplaces.
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100% agreed.
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“Unfortunately, more likely you will meet another egotistical bitch with self-love issues and will have to invest months training her (i.e. running game on her) to grace her with a proper and realistic humility.”
My head just exploded at how awesome that sentence is. Incredible writing, sir.
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Thursday mentioned the problem I was going to point out: Using the language of the ‘self-esteem’ critics means accepting their paradigms.
Perceived SMV is a whole different issue from self-esteem. A perceived high SMV can peacefully co-exist with low self-esteem. At any point in our lives, most of us with any self awareness would’ve experienced low self esteem. That’s why it’s an easy accusation. If you read through the literature, any interaction that is not judged as healthy and positive by a psychologist is attributable to low self esteem: we’ve all done that.
Low self-esteem is a dynamic state, not a static personality trait.
Reading through the self-esteem movement, it has been both feminist driven and self-esteem issues by women have also fuelled feminism (they blame their self-esteem issues on external factors instead of internal ones.) The initial part of it was heteronormative differences: females who were more likely to talk about their problems, and the females who were more likely to help them (as opposed to the primarily male biomedically driven psychiatrists) understood the distinctively female issues.
The stereotype of the bored housewife had low self-esteem, and it’s important to emphasise that men — who don’t deal with their problems in the same way — did not present to the world in the same way. She talked to females, and the females understood her. Yet they attributed the self-esteem issue to a problem of being female, when it was a problem of worldview compounded by the adversities she experienced (which as a female, would happen to be distinctively female adversities.) This same worldview however, affects men in the same way.
It’s actually shocking to see how those who were leaders in the self-esteem movement did not see how bad the problem was in men until relatively later. This is despite men facing pressures to be providers, successful, leaders and many other issues that were distinctively male.
When I think of a low self-esteem male, I think of Midshipman Hollom in Master & Commander.
Low self-esteem is a division between what you expected the world and hence yourself to be, and what it actually turned out to be. You expect from yourself perfection, and either as a male or female, you cannot achieve perfection. You expect to be rewarded if you’re good, and if you do not receive your reward, you assume that you simply weren’t good enough.
As a male gender, you are told to not feel good about yourselves. Simply the state of being male is by default some sort of crime that you constantly have to spend your life atoning for, under the implicit and sometimes explicit messages of feminism.
Yet insecurity is something quite female in that it is tied to female sexuality and femininity. Natural modesty comes from humility, which can occasionally be insecure.
A level of insecurity and feeling a difference in status is what works for women on a sexual level.
There’s something feminine in the concept of low self-esteem itself as an important one, because of the value it attaches to social standards and hierarchy comparisons, which women are naturally invested in.
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As F Scott Devlin says, women are intinsically more vain than modest.
After I recently figured this out, I make absolutely sure that a woman never catches me looking at her. The reason why a woman looks at a man is not so much that she may be attracted to him but more to see if a man is checking her out.
A woman catching a man checking her out is like giving her crack cocaine. I refuse to give a woman that pleasure.
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Black Rebel, yea, the word I forgot to add to my definition is “reflective”.
Just a caveat, we are talking about predominant pattern. Both genders are a mixed bag, but they are largely functioning in the scope of they typical pattern.
Girls/women that are involved in a lot of social interaction tend to build a “mirror room” and their self-assessment is almost entirely built based on this construct–a domain of self-esteem.
When they are removed from the social network, in relative isolation or raising children, they start to use a more reality based self-assessment tool–self-respect. (It is always a hard drop).
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I don’t know that I buy the “boys have fragile egos” thing.
Most men I know can accept criticism of their work, athletic performance etc. and evaluate it for accuracy. If its right, they adapt. If it’s wrong, we ignore it. Isn’t that why coaches and drill sargents use ridicule as much as positive speak to motivate men?
Criticize a woman for doing a bad job and most take it as an attack on them as a person. They respond with anger, screeching and possibly a trip to the HR Harpy’s office. I’ve heard of women crying because their Power Point presentation was mocked or they got a bad job review.
Men don’t do that.
Mostly.
DD
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What a beautiful piece of writing.
What, isn’t anyone going to chime in and say “this doesn’t sound like the old Roissy, bring back the original author”?
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Reminds me of a conversation I had with a female friend while out for drinks. She made the mistake of asking me where she ranked on the looks scale. Knowing this girl to be one of the most insecure, fragile people I know, I told her she was an 8 (in retrospect, it would’ve done both of us a favor to be completely honest, she was a 6 at best).
Her response floored me. “ONLY AN 8?!?” she said. She was legimitately upset and went around the bar asking all the guys for their opinions. I didn’t know what to say. I’m serious, she is unbelievably insecure and will admit as much, yet thinks she’s an 8+. She’s also an aspiring lawyer.
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When I was younger and would hear, or read some article about how American culture hurts young girls self-esteem, I thought it was one of the better lies ever told. Up there with smoking is good for you.
I could never understand why these plain girls I grew up with, who usually were not all that bright either, had such an unshakable confidence in themselves.
Of course now that I’m older I understand the reasons behind it all a little better, but for many young boys it must be quite confusing.
The “low self-esteem problem” for young girls is one that if any teenage, or young girl doesn’t have self-esteem shooting out her ass, or doesn’t think she is better than every single boy in her class she is then labeled as having low self-esteem.
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pft.
the Hell with bitches.
use their ponytails as handlebars – and if they bite
smack ’em.
Only Swallowers
are keepers
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Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess…
“Will you marry me?”
The Princess said “NO!”
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The End
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Neg over lunch: Young bank teller wearing a green spotted print blouse.
Me: Damn, great shirt!
her: I know, I hear it a lot, thanks.
Me: I think it’s awesome you’ve embraced being a cougar, outfit and all!
And since I had earlier glimpsed her painted nails
Me: and let me guess, you probably have bright pink nails as well.
She turnes bright red and smiled coyly as her clit began to fill with blood as she bleats out “I’m not a cougar! I’m only 22!”
Me: no comment. the silence got her so flustered she started staring at me and flipping her hair.
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Somewhat on this topic; can alphaness be measured by the devaluation in a woman’s self esteem when you leave her?
I was texting my current main squeeze today and chiding her for being jealous. She knows I’m taking a trip tomorrow and she knows that I used to screw a blonde there that was more attractive than she is. This is why I love Facebook and tagged photos.
She was telling me how she feels weird, has never felt jealous until she met me, “I’m more into you than I thought I would be. I’m not sure this is a good thing.”
Then I started to consider (amorally) whether or not it is a good thing that she is into me. Many of my serious relationships have ended with the girl taking drastic action at my departure, in four cases involving commitment to a mental hospital or the threat thereof from law enforcement. I began to wonder if there is a parallel measure of alphaness to Roissy’s definition of “the quality of affection from a certain quality of girl”, that of batshit crazy reaction to a simple rejection from a seemingly healthy woman.
Extreme anorexia, bulimia, suicide attempts, murder threats, stalking a rival 6 years after the fact, threatening to drive 400 miles and impose an involuntary breast reduction with a paring knife, demanding a firearm as the only desired property in a divorce settlement, nasty comments on Facebook . . .
I think “bring the movies” guy would be an alpha under either metric.
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I don’t believe in feeding someone’s ego, but neither do I believe in destroying it. I simply accept and move on. It is what it is.
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Good stuff — have not read all the comments yet, but looking forward to it.
namae nanka, that’s a great point —
“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
That reminds me of a classic poem by W.B. Yeats,
Slouching Toward Bethlehem, which says
“The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.”
Also, wasn’t it Socrates who said “Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.” ? Not sure on that one. Aristotle?
Is it an increasing contemporary phenomenon in which many people are loathe to admit (even to themselves) “I don’t know”?
Or has that always been a common trait?
My loathing of feeding a bloated ego used to stop me from approaching beautiful women years ago. Then I realized I can’t let that stop me from giving it a shot, to see if she is a possibility for me. Can’t let how she might react determine how I will feel about having approached her.
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it is the duality of these sterling qualities
that imbue you with the characteristics
of the perfect bottom
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“Bassoon
Many of my serious relationships have ended with the girl taking drastic action at my departure, in four cases involving commitment to a mental hospital or the threat thereof from law enforcement.”
Bro, you’re the one who wants committing to a mental hospital !
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once attained yourself you’ll discover true wisdom
has all been stated repeatedly
many ages ago
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@Thursday
A 5 or a 6 woman IS worthy of a relationship with a 7, 8, or 9 male. Just not an EXCLUSIVE one.
I’m a traditionalist. Go back to making the alphas pay for their lays via long term relationships with the cost of defending his ladies from interlopers, and not allowed to get rid of her just because she gets old or ugly. In that scenario, very few alphas will be able to manage more than 2 ladies at once, maybe one his level, two a level below, or a few more than that who are four points below him.
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@Firepower
@what
I don’t believe in feeding someone’s ego, but neither do I believe in destroying it. I simply accept and move on. It is what it is.
“it is the duality of these sterling qualities
that imbue you with the characteristics
of the perfect bottom”
?????
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…you must be hot
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@Bassoon
“Many of my serious relationships have ended with the girl taking drastic action at my departure, in four cases involving commitment to a mental hospital or the threat thereof from law enforcement.”
Bassoon, I won’t even wonder why these women would do what they do. All I see is that the only common denominator is yourself. I would seriously reevaluate what kind of energy you are sending and attracting these CRAZIES!
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“You should punish in the same manner those who commit crimes with those who accuse falsely.”
— Thucydides
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/957.Thucydides
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@Firepower
“…you must be hot”
I thought it was an insult, sorry! didn’t want to jump to conclusion so needed your clarification (red in the face).
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I liked this post…To some of the commenteers I’d offer: this is not about “breaking anyone’s spirit”. This is a wake-up-reality-check to get us ladies off the pedastals. I never forgot turning a job down b/c the female manager wanted to talk about how men must worship the uterus. I was like…”you are nuts, oh wait, that is feminism brainwashing. I could not work with some woman like that!
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ah, darn, it is “pedestal”…
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[…] The Problem With Women Is Too Much Self-Esteem « Citizen Renegade Posted on September 13, 2010 by The LP 999 The Problem With Women Is Too Much Self-Esteem « Citizen Renegade. […]
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Of course. I mean, look at the people who use Facebook the most: women, and beta males.
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@ namae nanka
“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
Excellent point.
@ Bassoon
“Many of my serious relationships have ended with the girl taking drastic action at my departure, in four cases involving commitment to a mental hospital or the threat thereof from law enforcement.”
Sounds like I am doing your leftovers!
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I agree with the others who said that it isn’t a bloated ego it is a bloated sense of sexual market value.
There are several reasons for this, but the main cause of women’s inflated sense of SMV is because feminism has given them a free ticket to ride the cock carousel, so they bang it out with a couple of good looking high value men and they proceed to set their value at the equivalent of the highest value male who will FUCK them, when they should be judging their value based upon the highest value male who will COMMIT to them.
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http://vta.gamall-steinn.org/havamal.htm
Read verses 84 to 110. Viking game.
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@DirkJohanson
@ Bassoon
“Many of my serious relationships have ended with the girl taking drastic action at my departure, in four cases involving commitment to a mental hospital or the threat thereof from law enforcement.”
“Sounds like I am doing your leftovers!”
lol!!!
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@The Rational Male
well said
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“The mark of a quality woman is a humble woman. Meet a pretty woman like this — usually foreign, and usually from a strong lower to middle class family.”
This has been true for me (foreign, lower-middle class, strong family). But don’t mistake humility for weakness. A woman who isn’t capable of showing strength and discipline will disappoint you, as you’ll be taking care of all her problems for her. She must have considerable self respect and, to professionally compete in a city like DC, a modicum of self confidence. At times, my role has been to instill that self confidence….a healthy LTR is about knowing when to game her and when to support her.
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@Backdoor Man
“The mark of a quality woman is a humble woman. Meet a pretty woman like this — usually foreign, and usually from a strong lower to middle class family.”
“This has been true for me (foreign, lower-middle class, strong family). But don’t mistake humility for weakness. A woman who isn’t capable of showing strength and discipline will disappoint you, as you’ll be taking care of all her problems for her. She must have considerable self respect and, to professionally compete in a city like DC, a modicum of self confidence. At times, my role has been to instill that self confidence….a healthy LTR is about knowing when to game her and when to support her.”
How wonderful!
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I think a lot of women are more insecure than they let on. I’ve often met women who appear very arrogant and conceited, often they are hiding some kind of vunerability.
However they often tend to act out this insecurity by either looking down on men & women who they perceive as being the next level down from them or by over-compensating to make themselves appear just as good as the people they perceive to be on the next level up. This doesn’t just apply in terms of looks, but in terms of work & social status as well.
In fairness I have to say that sometimes when you actually get to know these women it turns out that they are not as bad as one would expect (and I tend to hate this type of woman on sight).
I do think that a lot of it has to do with insecurity and not having a proper sense of who they are. This is not really an excuse though because a lot of us are insecure but we don’t necessarily treat others badly because of this.
Unfortunately there is a sense nowadays that we are all beautiful, we are all talented and we can all be anything we want to be, this creates a lot of dissonance because of course this is not the case in practice and I think this is part of what creates the insecurity. I’m all for encouraging people but the reality is that we all can’t be the most beautiful person in the room.
Funnily enough, so many women focus on being the most beautiful at the expense of everything else that it might actually be possible to squeeze in as the most charming which is not a bad consolation prize.
I don’t think excessive self-esteem is necessarily confined to women though. I think the dissonance between expectation and reality is also shared by a lot of men. Certainly I know a lot of men who although quite successful by any objective standard, feel that they should be world leaders, billionaires etc. It is a bit sad, that people who have achieved things don’t really appreciate them because they are looking for something more. Equally, it is a bit sad that a pretty girl feels bad about herself because she doesn’t look like Monica Belluci.
I’ve been negging the kids I babysit for years now without any gender distinction. As far as I can make out all of them appear to be thriving on it. I think it is important though to remember that the neg is just playful teasing & to watch for signals that one might be going too far and treading on a sensitive spot. Also, it’s important to make sure kids are allowed to retain their dignity.
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Best post at the Chateau in quite some time. I can’t be positive whether or not this is actually Roissy’s work, but it needs to continue regardless.
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‘bellucci’ not ‘belluci’
sorry for unintended sacrilege.
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Prince wrote:
And that is the funniest damn thing I have read in weeks. Thanks, Prince, you made my day.
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I just saw the title and I don’t want to read the post itself. Low self-esteem is sad and I wouldn’t wish it upon anybody, especially the girl that I’m with!
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Seriously? I wish it on everyone who I compete with or wish to exploit. It’s just more leverage to use against them.
Their lack of esteem is not my problem. After all, suicide is always a viable alternative, as come cultures have correctly recognized.
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Virii is not the plural of virus.
Nor is it viri. It’s viruses.
*Raises nose in smug look of pretentiousness*
Quality analogy with the nieces and nephews.
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Tarl–
I’ll bite: I miss the real Roissy.
I think this blog is undergoing a Dread Pirate Roberts change of hands. Someone else has assumed the mantle, while the real Dread Pirate Roberts is off living like a king in Patagonia.
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@The Rookie, yes yes and a million times yes for DC. However, but I still think that to an extent women are being more reactive than proactive. At the crusty core of this issue, I really blame the uber-feminized men for supporting this. No matter how much “Girl power” women have backing them up, validation from both genders is required to force a problem of this magnitude.
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I don’t know, maybe I’m only attracted to crazies. But if you were to evaluate these women’s case histories you would surmise they were addicted to a controlled substance, not dating me. The withdrawal effects are super serial. I’m wondering if it isn’t even my personality or rakish smile that’s enervating them but instead a novel protein secreted in my pores and sweat glands. Hopefully it’s a dominant trait that I will pass to my progeny.
I really don’t think these girls were that crazy before they met me. Many were very talented – perfect SAT, perfect GPAs, perfect breasts, high musical talent, successful retail manager, PhDs, burgeoning career in the nude dancing industry, aerospace engineer, etc. They seemed to have their lives put together very well (except for the 19 year old stripper) and healthily balanced. I don’t know, what is sane?
For another metric I think we should discuss sabotaging birth control methods since I’ve been a victim of that as well.
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@Anonymous. “Seriously? I wish it on everyone who I compete with or wish to exploit. It’s just more leverage to use against them.
Their lack of esteem is not my problem. After all, suicide is always a viable alternative, as come cultures have correctly recognized.”
You a sperg? It sounds like you won’t be exploiting anyone. You’re probably a fat nerd with curly hair and acne and cookie crumbs on your face, yelling at mom not to interrupt while you jerk it to pornhub.
Unless you’re a sexy psychopath… so cool and coldhearted. How badass you are…emotions are for the weak. You love only gold, don’t you? Oh, my gina is tingling.
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Most people in the world have low self esteem. It comes out in the way they speak and their body language.
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Bassoon,
in Firepower’s word…..”you must be hot!!!” lol!!!
Someone could be extremely high functioning , but when it comes to intimate relationships ,deep seeded unresolved issues can surface create havoc.
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@Backdoor man:
The same is true for me too.
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Rational
I’m not a family man, but there are times when I’d consider committing to a girl. The 21 year old massage girl who visited my room today has me thinking about sponsoring her and her 3 year old kid, for instance. Less than half my age, perfect little ass and a face you could stare at all day, the trade of a small portion of my ample cash for her youth and beauty would be fair. I could even see a ceremony to tie her down. For a while, at least.
But just a few mate value points away is a 27 year old hottie who I would only aspire to have a few years fling with.
Some may say my self appraisal of my mate value is insanely overblown. It would be, but that even at my age and poor health I still manage to keep my finger in the pie, and so have little incentive to commit.
But there are times when the trade may be fair. Some little girls just have sooooo much over the others.
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sdaedalus
Funny girl.
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Overestimation of oneself can lead to some sincere-bone-deep dissapointment.
I remember Sailer writing about Asian students who actually score very highly on international math tests only rating their computational abilities as “average” or “OK”. When given an extremely difficult math test that they cannot do well on, the Asians are eager to be taught the difficult math and to learn to master it.
American students on the other hand, who do not score very highly on the same international math tests, yet rate themselves as very competent and able, react very negatively to being given a truly difficult test that they cannot successfully complete. They simply dont want to learn the newer harder mathmatics problems.
In short, they give up. They dont want to risk their precious self-esteem.
If you artificially inflate someone’s esteem too highly, you can actually be doing them great harm…….like telling someone of only ordinary intelligence that they are MedSchool material. They might borrow a lot of money to go to MedSchool only to flunk out very badly, consigning themselves to real debt slavery for life. If some mentoring figure was honest with them, and told them to simply go to nursing school, or to learn auto-repair, they might have had a happy and productive life not rife with the repayment of wasted money right from the get-go.
Genetics are unfair, but so is just about everything else. Life on the Savannah is really damned unfair if you are a ugly hyena living in fear of gorgeous lions. If your super-clit-mother-hyena tells you that you are as great as a lion, and that you “can do anything”, you might be foolish enough to really believe that and try your hand, chihuahua-like, against the lion, only to be eaten alive. Thats metaphorically what we do with many average women (and men) in this nation now. We try and “rectify” the situation with invented laws, but they only bollix things worse.
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Bassoon Wrote: “…that of batshit crazy reaction to a simple rejection from a seemingly healthy woman.”
Sounds like yours are a little crazier than mine, but believe you me, I know the joys of seeing the look on a 20-something year old’s face when I become the first man in her life to ever tell her “no”. You’d think I had killed her mother with a kitten or something.
It’s amazing how some women make it though life for so long without ever having to deal with real rejection of any kind.
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Bhetti–
Tons of insightful stuff in your post above.
Many things stem from the essential difference that girls are told that if they have low self esteem it’s someone else’s fault mostly or in very large part, whether that’s a parent (preferably a father or absent father) or society, or mean schoolmates picking on her (preferably boys).
Traditionally boys who had a poor self image were told to try harder, fight back, take responsibility, maybe go into something else they were better at, and so on. These days that’s a bit mixed with some boys perhaps seen as victims from the peers to, but there’s still that overall and bottom line social message, and boys know it. So they do tend to such it up. Unless and until they snap, such as in the school mass shooting cases at Columbine and Virginia Tech.
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Sometimes I find myself having to tell a woman “no” because it violates one or more fundamental rules of gun safety.
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Speaking of animals…………….I never knew that pheremones played such a strong role in reproduction. Some of the insects especially. When its time to mate, pheremones are released and the potential suitors show up. Its as simple as that.
That has set me to wondering…………..if females secrete certain pheremones when they are attracted to a male, then THOSE might actually be the pheremones a man would want to get his hands on.
Wearing those particular pheremones might be something akin to wearing a lipstick-kiss-like-Mystery-used to do on the neck: the ultimate sign of preselection that would speak directly to the hindbrain of a female if her nose detected the “attracted” pheremones of another female on you.
or…..
A prospective female detecting those “attracted female” pheremones might think (this is the hindbrain again, bypassing active cognition) that she is already attracted to you**
Marcel Proust’s stream-of-consciousness novel, “A Remembrance of Things Past” dealt with a theme of certain odors bringing certain memories to the forefront of someone’s mind, and moods associated with those memories. To this day the smell of coffee and cigarettes evoke images of my dear old (departed) grandad. The right side-of my mouth will almost involuntarily curl up as I ponder the happy old goat (he was a character!). I wonder if “bottling” the attracting pheremones of the female might be able to trick out a philly’s hindbrain to attraction so a jedi might be able to whittle down the attraction-building-phase of seduction and get to the comfort-building stage a little more quickly?
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To all those comments that are funny…..it’s great you all can still retain your sense of humor. What a healthy way to deal with it all. Work can be very stressful and I find solace in humor and fun!
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When my nephew was around three ,he put on a plastic Redskins helmet and ran around in the the house.The helmet slipped over his eyes and he ran,head-first, into the screen-door leading to the deck.He bounced back about five feet,ending in a half back-roll.He looked at my brother and I and made a face as though he was about to cry.When he saw my brother and I laughing like hyenas,he giggled,put the helmet back on ,and ran full-speed(head-first) into the screen-door;again,with the same result.After the fifth time ,we had to make him stop.There may be a fine line between mocking and encouraging a boy.He grew up to be a Steelers fan so we probably should have stopped him sooner.
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z,
My mom told me that same thing about Asian students vs. American students. Inflating someone’s self esteem beyond their abilities actually keeps them from trying harder. She told me to be careful about complimenting my kids’ natural abilities and try to focus on commending their efforts.
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If the female pheromone thing works, it would only work on the basis that the pheromones acted as a kind of social proof, the woman smells the type of smell she would smell if other women were around and attracted to the man, therefore he goes up in her estimation. Obviously if the woman was bisexual or indeed lesbian things might work a bit differently.
It would be really interesting to see how it worked in practice.
I would also love to see the effect on a woman of a mixture of pheromones of two different attracted males. What would happen, I wonder?
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Feminists hate this shit, and they hate it because they know it’s absolutely true.
So what they’re up to becomes nakedly about power when they’re forced to admit it.
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Gee. If this blog is 1984, Citizen Renegade is some sort of inverse O’Brien to my Winston Smith, mercilessly breaking down my old beta-esque conceptions and remoulding me in his image.
It’s very true that boys don’t like negs unless it’s from family members and not in front of anyone else (risking damage to the ego). In retrospect I thank my older brother for telling me when I was being pathetic and effectively getting me to man up a bit. It’s good to do a touch of father-son/brotherly negging every so often to toughen them up (see Havamal verse 89). Just goes to show, it’s easier to ostracise a man than it is a woman.
Looking back on times I fluffed with a girl through awkward beta-isms and compliments, or failed to bring a girl down to size, I feel like I’ve done the world a disservice, bit like what NMH said about looking at girls. I can remember one time I was at a friend’s BBQ and a handful of us were locked in an erudite political discussion. Irish girl is sat with us with a bloated ego chimes in something along the lines of “seriously you guys were all talking such bullshit, I could refute it easily”. Of course, everyone just squirmed at it and said nothing. What gold it would have been to say “come on then genius, let’s hear it”. When we were walking back to another person’s house, she was really striding like her shit don’t stink. Fucking Irish girls. She wasn’t even a 7.
@zinc oxide: The writer’s position is interesting: He exploits the culture he mocks and derides. Most critics of today’s world are haters pining for yesteryear, but this guy revels in societal devolution.
I’ll say it again, the tables won’t be turned the right way up again until we are optimistic infiltrators rather than resentful bystanders.
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Smell is hugely important to me. It’s a make or break deal.
A few nights ago I sniff kissed my first night date goodnight. The next day she said doing that made her feel feint. I’m sure sniffing her neck was more powerful than a kiss would have been. Made a hell of an impression on me.
Scent can’t be faked, and can be damn powerful.
Aside from my magnificent member, scent is one thing I have going for me as well. As a guy who is constantly falling in love, I must also be pumping out pheromones like nuts – and more than that girls just always say they love my smell. I’m not sure what’s more important – scent or a high tight ass. I’d go with scent.
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Sox,
Your comment about the girl who was offended when you said she was an 8 made me laugh. My husband tells me I’m a 6 which is probably true, maybe even a little generous. When I was younger I thought I was a 9 when I woke up in the morning and if I bothered to put on make-up and curl my hair a 10.
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Gorb
Feminists admit? I always thought there were like a philanderer caught cheating. Deny, deny, deny.
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What’s particularly awful in terms of gender relations, is how ‘try harder’ is translated to ‘do worse’. Try harder to please a woman in the manner of essentially debasing yourself, and the more turned off and abusive she is. That’s a vicious cycle that’s destroyed some men.
It’s a cycle that would also destroy your self-esteem, if you view yourself as entitled to a reward the harder you try and not achieving a reward means you will never be good enough and are somehow inherently flawed.
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Oh goodness, I really love this post but really loved this line imparticular: Today, in the era of the bloated female ego, the mark of a quality woman is a humble woman.
Perfect.
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Women find personal value in social reinforcement. Social status for them is real. Your various social ranks are necessarily your personal worth.
For men, social status is utilitarian. It’s only useful for what it can give you. We fight for it, but only because we want to use it to get what we want. If those rewards are withdrawn, most men don’t care a white about social status.
It’s why men seem much less shallow, less superficial and less hollow inside than women.
It’s also the key reason why men become much more interesting, almost all the time.
Most truly interesting people are male. Almost exclusively.
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Nice one, Citizen Renegade.
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3135327/Obama-rant-Brit-banned-from-US-for-life.html
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Women and blacks: too much self-esteem, not enough to earn it.
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I don’t believe in feeding someone’s ego, but neither do I believe in destroying it. I simply accept and move on. It is what it is.
for a different approach, check out this book review:
http://newledger.com/2010/09/review-meghan-mccains-dirty-sexy-politics/
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Especially bad is the current method for teaching children: All this I Am Special crap producing a generation of narcissists.
The post is right about humility. There is nothing hotter than a hot woman who’s unaware of just how stunning she is. Also as rare as unicorn excrement. But such a girl is well worth the pursuit.
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Gorbachev: Where were you for the Dancing post? I fully expected a treatise on salsa. In fact, was looking forward to it.
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Looking back, centuries from now, the archaeologists will conclude that our civilization collapse began on the day that society unleashed women’s basic instincts.
They’ll probably settle on the awarding of women’s suffrage.
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@cap’n bob
Especially bad is the current method for teaching children: All this I Am Special crap producing a generation of narcissists.
The post is right about humility. There is nothing hotter than a hot woman who’s unaware of just how stunning she is. Also as rare as unicorn excrement. But such a girl is well worth the pursuit.
Damned fucking straight she is. Also worth not cheating on.
Lessons to learn before shit hits proverbial fans.
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Sdaedalus
“Equally, it is a bit sad that a pretty girl feels bad about herself because she doesn’t look like Monica Belluci. ”
Most Western don’t suffer from this problem. Things wouldn’t be half so bleak if more women really did compare themselves to magazine women. Sadly they don’t. They just claim that they’re “real women”, as they stuff more Mars bars down their gaping maws.
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Gorby, Most truly interesting people are male. Almost exclusively.
Keep ’em negz going! LOL
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capn bob
I’ve had success dating an attractive girl who needed to lose some weight, and that had been a big porky pie for much of her life. I had to threaten giving her the boot to stop sneaking food while she was out doing errands, but once she was properly terrified, she shaped up very nicely.
Other than that, genuinely preferring a niche market size or shape makes life easier. Some guys like em bigger than average, some like em smaller than average.
You are right that the trick is to not just get a girl as high above your attractiveness threshold as possible, but also to get one who considers you an incredible catch – soaring above her value.
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cap’n bob,
There is nothing hotter than a hot woman who’s unaware of just how stunning she is. Also as rare as unicorn excrement. But such a girl is well worth the pursuit.
Ahm, some people also are looking for a sasquatch. The odds are better.
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Excellent post. Even apart from the expensive eggs/cheap sperm biological reality, for years women/feminists have been hawking the notion that every man, no matter how alpha, should be grateful for whatever action he might get, even from zeros and 1’s, as if it were a gift most generously and benevolently bestowed upon him. The price, however, is creeping up way beyond what most men are able and willing to pay (I believe TFH called this “The Misandry Bubble”), and I think we will see in the future a lot more of the following:
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-signs-youre-too-good-for-her_1.html
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Gorbachev
“Also worth not cheating on.”
Yep, it’s crazy to cheat on a lady like that. Folks sometimes do that, and they’re brought back to earth pretty quickly.
Xsplat – the niche approach sounds good. Can also be extended to religious women; or shy women; or women who’re uncomfortable in bars or clubs. For a lot of reasons, a woman might decide that she’s less attractive than she really is, or might simply have never realized her charm.
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“For a lot of reasons, a woman might decide that she’s less attractive than she really is, or might simply have never realized her charm.”
I forgot to add that their reasons may be many, but still, there are few women like this.
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Morsellaux,
“Ahm, some people also are looking for a sasquatch. The odds are better.”
I’m an optimist. The odds are very low, but finite.
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@Bhetti
Gorbachev: Where were you for the Dancing post? I fully expected a treatise on salsa. In fact, was looking forward to it.
I missed it. I was in transit – I’m in Korea for a month or so on business.
I would have waxed loquacious just fort you, Bhetti.
Salsa is half of my game. You can feel out a woman with salsa; you can feel her sexuality in a very tangible way. You can intimately know how she moves, how she responds to touch, how she takes direction, how she directs, how she feels about herself.
You can, with the language of turn patterns, closeness, motion and the subtlest of physical cues communicate your interest in the subtlest or most direct of ways.
If she’s a narcissist, it’ll come out in her dancing. If she’s shy or overly cautious or self-deprecating, it’ll come out in her dance. If she’s blatantly sexual, it’ll come out in her dance.
Story:
4-5 years ago, I was dancing with an older woman (40-42) who, even at that age, was hot enough for her age, but no longer 25. But for a 40-42 year-old, a good example of well-preserved.
She was a good dancer, but with me, after the first few moments when you feel each other out, there was an obviously outrageously sexual way about the way she touched and moved. Not overt, at all, which was what was seductive. Of course.
The fluid way she moved; the gentle way she placed her hand on my shoulder, the split-second, momentary caress of a finger that could be ignored, or not; the slightly to close then withdrawn then gracefully accepting drawing in of a leg during a slow bachata; the slightly too close swaying of hips; the subtle means you can send a message.
She radiated it with me. Much later she said what I felt.
We had sussed each other out; the first few moments were the exploration, then came the establishment of some kind of physical rapport; then a slow escalation, with pointed moments when something new happened, then withdrew, then grew;
We danced frequently, and each time, from the outside, a general bystander couldn’t possibly have sensed anything. But it was obvious we were physically compatible and the entire process was very slow, careful seduction.
It didn’t need to go anywhere.
But it did.
We ended up in a seriously hot threesome with her friend, who was much younger. The older woman was one of the most sensual, indecently self-indulgent lovers I’ve ever had. And she wasn’t some young hot girl. She was also quite rare even for an older woman. Making love to her was exactly like her dancing: slow, careful, intensely erotic but subtle, perhaps because of the subtlety; and ultimately explosive for all concerned. That went on for a short time, as the social context was devastatingly inappropriate.
(side note: sometimes, youth is overshadowed not just by experience, but by individual character. At 55, this woman will still be able to attract men of some sensuality 10-15 years younger than her. Alas, she’s also married – to a man who doesn’t seem like he can possibly appreciate her in the least).
But the entire connection had been presaged by our dancing.
We *knew* each other, and what it would be like, long before the entire situation evolved.
The same was true of my wife, when we met. We met dancing. he connection as instant, physical, and we matched each other perfectly. We could feel it in every movement.
So men: Learn to dance. Only couple-dancing.
The Latin dance world is the best dancing world: You’re forced to couple-dance. It’s hot and sexy. It’s also fun, and clubs are like permanent, nightly parties. The atmosphere is conducive to seduction and general entertainment. It’s physical and you get to get close.
And women absolutely go ape shit for a man who can dance well.
Focus on it. At first it’s hard, but within a year, you’ll be swimming in more sex (if you want it that way) than you could ever have dreamed possible.
The best thing is that you can do this anywhere. HK salsa is hot; In Japan, latin dancing is huge; Seoul has a lively and wonderful dancing scene; every major city in the US, I’ve been to a salsa club in Toronto, Canada, which was fantastic, I’ve danced in France and London and Brazil–
The common language is salsa (Bachata, whatever). You can dance with the hot girl in HK or the hot girl in Spain. It’s just dancing. It’s like an international language, one that all men should learn to speak.
Be able to dance, and women flock to you.
It’s no exaggeration.
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@Morsellaux
Gorby, Most truly interesting people are male. Almost exclusively.
Keep ‘em negz going! LOL
Hah.
Alas, it’s not just a neg. It’s also absolutely true. It’s got the “Truth” of philosophy and the “truth” of observable reality.
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@cap’n bob
Gorbachev
“Also worth not cheating on.”
Yep, it’s crazy to cheat on a lady like that. Folks sometimes do that, and they’re brought back to earth pretty quickly.
It’s true.
Recovery skills become crucial and watching the future moreso.
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hmmm….I wasn’t aware young boys wilted under negs, and young girls responded positively. Is that certain? I thought it was the other way around. I always thought boys were thrown into the deep end of the pool to prepare them and toughen them up so they’ll be self-reliant later in life. I’m kinda thankful for all the razzing that goes on at a young age; it’s why older men don’t get rattled very much. At least that’s what I always thought.
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cap’n bob-
“The post is right about humility. There is nothing hotter than a hot woman who’s unaware of just how stunning she is. Also as rare as unicorn excrement. But such a girl is well worth the pursuit.”
My last girl could pull a strong 8 rating when she put her mind to it, but she only thought that she was “cute, maybe a 7”.
It’s very, very rare to find this in American women today, and it’s a big part of what attracted me to her besides her looks.
She turned out to be a bit crazy, which might have to do with her low self assessment.
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I think you hit on something more interesting than just neg girls, build up boys. I ran the example you gave past my girlfriend, and she agreed, the more effective comment for the girl was the neg.
However, I turned it around, and gave a sports related neg “nice catch, alligator arms”, and it doesn’t seem to read the same way. This seems like it would make a girl want to quit, but a boy want to try harder. Given that drawing is more of a girl thing, sports more of a boy thing, something must be up.
This makes me believe that the real rule of thumb is to neg at what someone feels confident in (obvious, I know), because that’s creating a feeling of confusion, and hence novelty. Plus, given our culture isn;t big on sincere compliments, irony is a solid approach to complimenting without being seen to do so.
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Gorbachev:
What luscious loquation! I don’t regret my question.
An Italian surgeon I knew once came out with this:
“I speak three languages: Italian, English and… the language of love.”
Eureka! We have found it.
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Brilliant article on praising kids Dennis pointed me to:
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm
It doesn’t talk specifically about genders, but a different prespective nonetheless.
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A few observations:
Too much self esteem is bad.
A few years ago they were saying that black kids were doing badly in school because of low self esteem. They later found out black kids have higher self esteem than white kids.
The same dichotomy seems to hold for whites and Asians.
So, being insecure leads to greater efforts for self improvement.
What a surprise.
I think young women are actually pretty insecure in a lot of ways, especially their looks. But, not insecure when it comes to males in the lower 50%. Just brush off those losers. No loss. Imagine the blow to their self esteem when those losers become their only available marriage material later on in life. Talk about (self) deception and rationalization. They speak of “settling”. Sounds like living death when they discuss it.
The problem with many women is that they have no education worth speaking of, and only know how to raise their self esteem through very trivial pursuits (clothes, etc.) How many even bother to read non-fiction, aside from feminist B.S?
And, yes, I cannot imagine what all these young fat women are thinking.
So, they need to get some more realistic.
Of course, the average women does have the egg monopoly, for now. Just think, if women followed the traditional life style, married by 15, pregnant or lactating all of her reproductive life, she might produce only a dozen or two dozen mature eggs to fertilize in her entire reproductive life time. No wonder men compete for a chance to fertilize her eggs. With hormonal birth control, those numbers might not be changed that much! So, sellers’ market. Of course, there have to be willing buyers, too. The future will be interesting.
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Everyone should have an Uncle Wayne…”The Ghost of Girlfriends Past” illustrates perfectly the point in this post. The beta-ization of men. Here Uncle Wayne gives game tips to his young nephew who’s been suffering from ‘one-itis’ over his failed love interest Jenny.
Flick to 2:00 where Uncle Wayne perfectly explains “the neg”…brilliant.
The rest of the film seems to fit the feminist agenda of beta-sizing the Matthew McConnaghey character.
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http://www.dove.us/#/cfrb/default.aspx
Of course, the media is harming little girls by not portraying “average” women as the standard to aspire to.
Dove is pandering to the feminist agenda. They want beauty to be graded on a curve. They want little girls to know that it’s ok to stuff your face with french fries and milkshakes, so long as they feel good about their bodies. Lets level the playing field, killing everyone with obesity in the process.
And what about the little boys? Eh….they will find a way to deal with their problems!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spree_killer
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_shooting
Welcome to America, 2010.
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@Bhetti
Gorbachev:
What luscious loquation! I don’t regret my question.
It’s like an international language, one that all men should learn to speak.
An Italian surgeon I knew once came out with this:
“I speak three languages: Italian, English and… the language of love.”
Eureka! We have found it.
Salsa is one such language. Make your men learn it. Of course, this largely benefits them. But you get to enjoy it for a while.
Seriously, dance is joy. I have no idea why men (largely beta) get so stiff about it. It has to be the easiest and most efficient way to access the largest pool of interesting women, cutting across all cultural and class lines.
It’s also fun, physical and you can do it your whole life. And challenging.
Who wouldn’t love all that?
Hah.
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The irony is that the guys who love them the least get them the most. Fulfillment of real passion is rare for a man.
Women are narcissists, and they all have high self esteem. Dont confuse insecurity with competitivity. They are paranoid, not insecure. Like the red Queen in Alice in Wonderland. They get hysterical and break down when let down because of frustration, not true self condemnation. They will only respect those who defy this self entitlement.
As a friend says, only gays love men, women love money.
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Narcissists are born and raised. They are taught at an early age that they are the best of the best (the golden boy/girl). They got what they wanted, when and in the way they want it. They’ve learned that the world evolves around them and they will surround themselves with people that will confirm this directly by feeding their grandiose self or others who are simply kind hearted givers, but who lack any healthy limits to giving and boundaries that are not reinforced. The most dangerous aspect of narcissists is their inability to feel empathy. They will use others for their own means. As long as you serve their purpose they will keep you around. A lot of politicians and high up CEOs are high functioning narcissists. At the extreme end we get the serial killers. Dangerous people. I am speaking from very personal experiences.
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Nadal won!!
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“Bitches ain’t shit,” as the song goes.
Another one right down the smokestack, Roissy.
Some time ago I came to the realization that this whole “Men have big egos” thing is a giant myth.
Nope.
WOMEN ARE THE ONES WITH THE BIG FRAGILE EGOS.
At least in Amerikwa.
Say it with me now: Bitches ain’t shit.
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hey man been reading the blog for a couple of months now, and wanted to say that i think your writing is of a quality and insight far above what i have seen from almost any blog on the internet, not just game related stuff. This post was actually touching near the end and moved towards poetry.
cheers
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what, Narcissists …
That was near perfect description of Obamao.
And one my argue that we can all speak from personal experience, at least as the impact is concerned.
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Rational, :: said with mild shrillness :: the Dove campaign is about portraying real beauty as opposed to fake beauty, not averageness as beauty. They pick models who look good for their age and/or weight class.
…at least that’s how it was at the beginning. It has been hijacked by feminists who hate fashion and cosmetics as an art, and whadya know, has waned in popularity. It’s become just as fake as its painted and dieted down counterparts in other companies.
I was all for it when actually feminine women who took care of themselves were being given some camera time. I backed away slowly when it became about “look at my naked grandma”.
My opinion about self esteem in general…a person’s confidence ought to be based on something real. A person who does bad things or who does nothing good or useful should feel bad about themselves. That pain should inspire them to alleviate it by doing good, useful things.
One of my favorite things to say about this is that, “The weak are confident. The strong are qualified.”
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They have overinflated egos until they get called out on their BS. Funny how the other night, one was wearing a name tag that said bitch on it at one of the bars I went to. She was with a group of women that all were wearing name tags but this one was pretty bold to have bitch written on hers. So I went up to her and said hello bitch. The look on her face was priceless and not only that, she got laughed at by one of her peers. I said what are you getting mad at, it is your name after all. I walked off with a smile.
Girl power has just about jumped the shark.
[Editor: I think you’re right. The tankgrrl days are drawing to a close. And not a moment too soon. I was about to give up on seeing a revolution of real femininity.]
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What was funny in elementary school…. is still funny today🙂 That’s why they go all batshit over pointless games you can play at the bar.
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I guess I got to admit that for 17 years I have been looking to die and looking for excuses to fail so big I would have an excuse.
But being an american has so much value and so much built in win that even working so hard to fail and trying my damdest to not win the game and actively hamstinging myself and actively turning myself into a loser.
I still couldn’t help but win lol
America where it is impossible to fail.
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See what the girls on Twitter are telling themselves:
http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%22settle+for%22
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@ Black Rebel
“Never forget that a woman objectively defines her worth based on not how she feels about herself, but how others feel about her.”
Very close: “Never forget that a woman defines her worth based on not how she feels about herself, but how others, mostly other women, say and demonstrate they feel about her.”
There that’s better.
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ohhh…that was a very nice read!
*two thumbs up*
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“Never forget that a woman defines her worth based on not how she feels about herself, but how others, mostly other women, say and demonstrate they feel about her.”
I dont necessarilly really agree with that. the reason being that a lot of guys are brown nosing and over complimenting average and below average women… I see a lot of thirsty men out there blowing up these women’s self-esteem.
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Devastatingly accurate and confirms the apttern I see in the 30+ Internet dating crowd. Egos hyperinflated by the apparent ‘luxury’ to pick and choose from a torrent of attention, though in reality Internet dating for women is more like choosing which toilet to take a drink from.
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Course need to work on a few things to maybe instill more of a desire to succeed instead of desire to not.
Let us keep more of our efforts and help give a reason to invest back in community.
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Nicole-
“Rational, :: said with mild shrillness :: the Dove campaign is about portraying real beauty as opposed to fake beauty, not averageness as beauty. They pick models who look good for their age and/or weight class.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I don’t have a problem with companies trying to make a buck, but I hate the way the sheeple can so easily be hoodooed under the guise of political correctness.
Here we are, amidst an obesity epidemic, heart disease, cancer, and stroke are the three leading causes of death in the US, yet we aren’t allowed to shame people who eat too much. We can shame the smokers but we can’t shame the fat chicks, cause that would be picking on women!
Should we be teaching little girls that they should be happy with their bodies unconditionally, or should we be teaching them that exercise and healthy eating are good for you and will pay untold dividends in other aspects of life?
I’m not the thinnest guy in the world, but my value in the mating game is not determined primarily by my body fat percentage, and I am well educated in the dangers of living an unhealthy lifestyle, which is why I go to the gym every week and chug down protein shakes instead of potato chips.
No one is telling little boys that they need to be happy with themselves even if they are sloven social misfits. Why do we need programs to increase the self esteem of girls? Don’t see too many of them committing suicide or shooting up schools and workplaces.
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Women are in competition with each other, men don’t even count. Whatever you say to them is just noise on the competition level. Women do not dress to impress men, they dress to compete with other women.
Men have very little impact on a woman’s self esteem, as long as her circle of friends think she’s good, she’s good.
Other women are their hall of mirrors, men are just the walls in between the mirrors.
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On the effects of overinflated self-esteem- two types come to mind, at least for men: (1) the “golden boys” who sail through life with early success- the best schools, grades, jobs, etc. Then, when they suffer some major setback as adults, they have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO; it’s never happened before. They collapse, they freeze, they live in denial. not good- people with a more uneven record of achievement know how to scrap, and pick themselves up and move on. (This is an argument for hiring an ambitious young guy from State U or a working-class background over an entitled Harvard man.) (2) rich kids, trust fund babies. These people’s lives float on a cloud of unearned money, and they know they’ll never fall below a certain very comfortable level. So they have no work ethic but are used to telling other people what to do, based on a grossly inflated sense of self-worth. plus they always have a cloud of hangers-on and enablers because of the money. nauseating.
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I thought this was brilliant. It’s been a while.
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Rational asks, “Should we be teaching little girls that they should be happy with their bodies unconditionally, or should we be teaching them that exercise and healthy eating are good for you and will pay untold dividends in other aspects of life?”
Actually, we should be teaching them to be happy with whatever body they end up with because of exercising and eating healthy.
First though, they have to know what healthy eating is. Most westerners don’t.
Then they have to have a future to look forward to aside of being exploited or exploiters. A good girl has a deep distaste for injustice even if she’s not really conscious of all the details. I believe that many girls let themselves go because they see what’s going on in the dating world, and don’t like it. So they resist doing crucial things to take care of themselves because they’re either worried about the wrong thing, paranoid due to rape culture and the bitterbitching of older women, or they feel they’re doomed because they don’t have the looks to actually profit from riding the cock carousel.
So on the one hand, some aspects of their confidence are being propped up, but deep down at the womb level, they know it’s wrong, and take it out on themselves in a form of slow self mutilation. Then they dress in a way that you wouldn’t believe they own a mirror.
I work to counter the negative external forces by reminding my daughter that decent men are the majority, and getting her more involved with socializing with my younger bros since she turned 17. Having good guys in their 20’s around who are actually commitment minded and protective of her makes up for the exposure to underparented cretins at school.
Girls are not going to become anorexic or overly superficial from being told the truth. They’re also not going to have sex too early from simply having prospects who are older. Lying to girls is what’s getting them into trouble.
Yeah, a guy thinking long term should love a woman for what’s on the inside, but what’s on the outside is an expression of what’s within. Girls need to be told the cold truth about that. It’s much better to be pleased with one’s self because of one’s behavior and its rewards than it is to be confident based on nothing.
It would be nice if men were also more vocal about this. If guys are being honest, few of them have to have a model or pole dancer perfect woman. Most are very happy with one who just takes care of what she’s got.
As I said to someone else before, I’m reaping the benefits of that at 40. A girl who’s told the truth in her childhood and teens will have no problem at all navigating life and dating…well, none that come from herself. She’ll still have the problem of jealousy from other girls and sour grapes from mangina and “tilled under” collaterally damaged boys.
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The neice/nephew thing is completely accurate. Our social behavious in its foundations are developed at an early age. But this rings true for each sex throughout our lives.
Women should build men up, always. Thats what ‘good’ women used to do for their men – in return a man could tease her, and allow her playful fantasy nature to run wild under his watch. Now it seems, girls seem to think the way we tease them, neg them, etc. that they should be doing the same back to us. They really don’t know how to flirt or behave. On a whole, the current female self-esteem is through the roof, but probably suffering more from disassociation from the true feminine state and its becoming almost schizophrenic.
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What I said above is perhaps more about the feminine mindset, which almost all women and some men have, as opposed to the masculine mindset which almost all men and some women have. OK, I don’t have this part completely thought out yet.
I’ll get back to you on that.
Seems like there’s more femmiboys around than there used to be …
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Other women are their hall of mirrors, men are just the walls in between the mirrors.
co-sign.
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Old guy
there are way too many femmiboys around. It’s sickening but I don’t mind, more poon for me.
But I think women have lost what it means to be a lady, this is sadly missed by some lost romantic part of my soul. May it rest in peace.
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Old Guy:
Women are in competition with each other for…the attention of men. Saying “men don’t count” is going overboard.
This old cliche that I guess is still floating around, that “women don’t dress to impress men”, needs to be retired. Women dress to impress other women but ultimately for the attention of men. That’s the end goal.
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Ya, but I get where the old guy is coming from. men are simple. if she looks hot enough the guy will chubb out. but for women it’s more ethereal. it’s a game, it’s their secret society. they watch and observe each other’s tiniest nuance. they look for ear rings, shoes, anything, and measure and judge one another. they look for details. they make mental notes.
we’re just looking at tits and ass.
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Eh. Not so much. Obviously women aren’t only dressing/acting for the sole attention of other women, but it’s definitely skewed a lot more in that direction. Especially when you take into account the actions of men, which are very much skewed in the other direction (men are almost entirely acting for the attention of women).
—
Re: The negging of children
Um, this is a pretty good example of people who have virtually no experience with what they’re talking about, talking about things. Also a good example of you boys letting PUA-isms cloud your vision of everyday life. I co-sign with Tim and sdaedalus — “negging” works equally on both sexes. Why is this? Oh, right, because “negging” is kind of like teasing — something all kids are pretty decent with from early on.
I’ve worked closely with a lot of small children, especially boys, and both sexes respond well to good-natured “negging” or teasing. Unless, of course, the negging is Jerry-style-negging (“Did you know that you only have two more years left of peak attractiveness…”), which of course doesn’t work on anyone.
😀
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Anyone who doesn’t realize this post was written by Roissy cannot read.
Here’s an idea to keep discretion: other writers sign their pieces with fictional initials. Roissy does not sign at all. 😉
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Okay then, this cliche needs to be retired too. I’m tired of men being talked about as if they’re dumb apes with three brains cells. No, the reason women do all those little things that you mentioned is because they make a difference to men.
Yes the first things we notice are tits and ass and face, but all the little enhancements like earrings, shoes (sexy high heels anyone?), make-up, hairstyle, tight pants, sexy bra, panties with a little bow on the band, are attractive to MEN. Because if they weren’t attractive to men, women wouldn’t bother with it.
I believe this “women dress for other women, not men” meme probably started to further take power away from men. In other words, god forbid women actually did anything for the benefit men. “I dress nice to feel sexy for myself! Empowerment! Grrl power!”. Well you can’t feel sexy in a vacuum. MEN decide what’s sexy.
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Young single moms in countries with no mandatory child support laws and no welfare = the nicest people on Earth.
This was an excellent post with great comments.
But it didn’t go into the logistics of macro and micro-negging 17-22 year old 9s and 10s. In this category, its bad enough even without feminism.
Who’s got some good links on negging this category?
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“The writer’s position is interesting: He exploits the culture he mocks and derides. Most critics of today’s world are haters pining for yesteryear, but this guy revels in societal devolution.”
You must be new here…
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thanks to social devolution manliness has become really scarce.
You need to be a lot less manly than in times past to have women drool after you. You were just supposed to. Now you only have to free yourself from social reprogramming to have an edge in basically any kind of social interaction
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Jerry:
Who’s got some good links on negging this category?
Jerry, the concept of a “neg” is based on having a sense of humor, a trait that you have completely failed to show. Everything you’ve posted as a “neg” has been so deadly serious in tone that there’s no way it could work, unless the girl was just rolling her eyes and putting up with it so that she could use you for your Money Game (your words).
Worse yet, you don’t even seem to understand the difference; Other posters have helpfully attempted to point out that your “negs” are WAY too bitter- and serious-sounding, to the degree of WHOA (like “holy shit this guy is going to start shooting people” level of scary), and you have dismissed their concerns as “nitpicking english verbiage” or some other such thing.
So yeah, you should first get a sense of humor. Then learn what a neg is, and what it isn’t. *Then* look for help with your negging.
Until then, you could always “neg” by offering $175 for a strip tease from a girl to whose friend you gave $200. Heh.
By the way, the above are serious comments that will actually help you if you listen to them, but of course you won’t, and so they won’t.)
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@Dalerojo AKA @Esteri
If you’re going to be a cowardly feminist troll, at least stick around long enough to have it out with me. You just ran away from your hit and run on the other thread. And don’t go pretending that you’ve ever “won” an argument because your alter ego slammed me.
Your level of bitterness on this blog is huge. You’ve condescended to the best commenters when you pretend to be a married British guy (your @Dalerojo persona).
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@Dalerojo
On the odd chance that you are separate but in agreement with known feminist trolls (@Esteri and @Audrey) and you are a married British male who’s proud of marrying a whore (your description of your wife’s history), here is some advice:
1) Admit that you want to open some 19 year olds now and then, being married to your slut-wife notwithstanding, but you are scared stiff of trying.
2) Admit that 19 year olds will respond to guys like @Sidewinder who is your age and married. Sidewinder live blogged an open at Starbucks the other night. He was asking for advice from others, not writing bitter rants like you. Admit that Steven Segall and John Travolta can easily bed 19 year olds even though they are pushing 60.
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@Dalerojo
Referring your non-sequitur: I’ve only once discussed nuclear negging at the end of a thread where only you and two feminists (Esteri and Audrey) responded (your alter egos).
And in the context that it can work great in Eastern Europe as a last resort on a very rude woman but might not work in feminist territory.
I never got an answer to that because it was at the end of a thread and, no, nobody, not even one “@Dalerojo” remarked that the example I threw out was “too serious, not humorous enough”. Your alter-ego @Esteri picked on my English translation (from what I’d actually said) like a school teacher.
In any event, as a female, give an example of a nuclear neg that is humorous that can be used on a really rude and stupid woman…oh wait…as a feminist you would blame the male for her being rude and stupid…and advise the man not to neg her at all.
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I’m not Esteri, but you can believe what you want. And where in the world did you get the idea that I’m British? Certainly not from my posts.
Bitterness?
Jerry, find me one other regular poster here who doesn’t agree that your stories are transparently bullshit, and that you are, at best, a dude who can score arrangements in which you trade money for pussy (not to mention that you’re paying Western prices in Eastern countries — sad, sad).
One.
Actually, I’ve never given a description of my wife’s history. All I’ve said about it is that I really don’t care too much about it.
The actual description is that I was (and still am) floored by how sexually INexperienced she was before meeting me.
Why the at-signs?
Dude, Sidewinder described something that would be NORMAL INTERACTION for 90% of men. Normal. Everyday. Uninteresting.
I flirt with women all the time. Young, old, black, white, slender, zaftig, trashy, classy, etc. Because I like women. And because flirting is NORMAL.
The fact that you classify mere flirting as something extraordinary — “an open”, as if this were some monumental achievement — tells me everything I have to know about your social intelligence.
And, I could pull ass without a ton of effort (or money. heh) But I don’t. As a married guy I fuck more often than I ever did as an inveterate player, and probably more often than most people on this board would even want to (though they’d pretend otherwise). My balls are always empty, my stomach is always full, and I’m happy. I’ve got very little temptation to step out; I like the feeling of being true to my promises; and I know that, while the novelty would be fun, the sex would suck compared to what I get all the time at home.
That doesn’t mean I don’t flirt with normal women, in normal ways. Which I could easily parlay into sex if I wanted to, but I just don’t want to.
Why so fucking serious all the time, dude? When was the last time you smiled? Or told a joke?
Ever?
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Jerry, the reason nobody responded is the same reason nobody would respond if you came out claiming that you could “neg” a woman by punching her in the face.
Nobody is responding because every single word you write makes it transparently obvious, to anyone with any degree of social intelligence, that you have no idea what you’re talking about and are making shit up out of thin air. Just like you’ve made up the “facts” that (a) I’m from England and (b) my wife has had a bunch of sex partners.
Again, why don’t you try re-posting your “nuclear neg story” during American daytime hours, and let’s see whether more than zero people actually take you seriously.
My god, you’re such an idiot. You’re the first guy who’s actually made me want to root for the gold-diggers.
There are two kinds of “rude”. The first is the kind where the girl is just being a bitch to filter out hordes of guys; you just fight this sort of rudeness by ignoring it completely. The second is the sort of “rudeness” exhibited by a woman who’s already convinced that you’re a total loser, in which case it’s a lost cause. Unless you want to throw your money at her, in which case she may well be mercenary enough to take it.
Oh, and, if you were actually getting laid, you wouldn’t be wasting your time on women you found to be “rude and stupid”, anyway, but that’s beside the point.
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@Dalerojo
To the contrary: other regulars consider you an asshole who needs to put them down to build himself up.
But I’ll play your game if you’re not the coward you usually are.
Go ahead and let’s discuss what field report I’ve ever given that you would consider impossible.
Its mentally sick and frankly quite Marxist, by the way, to miss the point that men will augment normal game with a set of lap-dances now and then. You need to get over that like your feminist friends who happen to show up when you do.
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@Dalerojo
You write like a feminist, as in female. You are now saying that women are justified in being rude to “filter out hordes of guys” and that negging is not necessary in that case. Wrong on both counts.
A guy who gets laid is always approaching and, thus, meeting a lot more rude women than most men. He’s also meeting a lot more great women, but they are not the subject of any discussion on negging.
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As usual, the feminists just cannot behave.
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I urge you all to get hold of and read ,
The Great Female Con by Andrey Randead
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Mr. C, what is in the book that provides more insight than you get here?
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Of course they’re justified, in being at least somewhat short/blunt. If a woman is really hot — hell, if she’s even passably hot — she’ll get approached almost constantly by HUGE numbers of men. Without some sort of filter, the sheer mass action would be overwhelming.
Imagine the way you feel when you’re in a third-world beach country, being accosted by people selling handmade goods. If the goods are of inferior quality, then, yes, you’re going to be rather short and blunt with the artisans. Moreover, the more of them there are, the shorter and blunter you’re going to be. But this doesn’t exclude your being receptive to those few artisans who do come around with quality goods to sell.
It’s the same thing.
Jerry, define “great woman”. I have a strong feeling that you think “great woman” = “pushover”.
Great women need to be teased, too. Neg = TEASE. Tease. Joking. Playful.
Jerry, I don’t bookmark your blathering. But you have a way of either (a) ending your “field reports” with a description of what you said to a woman, thus leading us to conclude that that’s all you’re doing is talking, or (b) magically cutting to the denouement in a way that betrays the fact that you’re lying.
For instance, I remember your describing another incredibly inept pickup attempt, in which you told some chick something like “I don’t want anything to do with you, but I want marriage and kids from your friend”, and then had a paragraph break, and then said “they were both stripping for me later that week”.
Let’s hear what came BETWEEN those parts, Jerry. Hmm, is it “I offered them $1000 in cash”?
I strongly suspect that you’ve not once gotten laid over there without emptying your wallet. Hint: “Money Game” is not game.
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Jerry,
It does sound like you deal with a lot of rudeness from women. Doesn’t it bother you at all? Maybe less interactions, but more positive ones would be better.
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@Dalerojo
What makes you clearly a female (or seriously betasized married troll) is that you take the strong stance that women are generally correct.
To you, a 19 year old who feels she can get anyone she wants, doesn’t need negging because, its a “lost cause” if she seems to have decided any given guy is not worth being friendly to.
You are effectively disagreeing with the point of this post, that she’s likely got too much self-esteem, depending on the guy.
You also just suggested that, in the case of a woman and her drunk friends stripping for $200, she and the friends are somehow superior to the women who would befriend the same man for free. You suggested that they would pity and look down on the man they are stripping for…which is not the dynamic of women who would do that.
The sad dynamic is that women who would take money to strip actually end up liking the guy more and there are a lot of them out there being rude to all the normal guys until one comes along and basically says “Hey don’t be a bitch, let’s see you and your friends strip for me”. They want to be treated “badly” that way.
Also, like a feminist troll, you will take a guy’s description of how to deal with the real bitches out there…and imply that all the man ever meets are bitches.
This is a common shaming technique because it implies the guy doesn’t have a good dating life and its his fault…when the odds are that a guy who complains about bitches the most is also meeting more great women than the average guy.
Flirting is for Betas, Opening is for Alphas. The latter implies intent to get results. The former is a namby-pamby word for guys who pretend they’re not closing because they’re happily married.
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@cap n’ bob: The post is right about humility. There is nothing hotter than a hot woman who’s unaware of just how stunning she is. Also as rare as unicorn excrement. But such a girl is well worth the pursuit.
That’s why I say, continental Europe is where the gold is. Cross the channel from the UK and the SMV/perceived-SMV ratio starts to invert.
@Tim: Ya, but I get where the old guy is coming from. men are simple. if she looks hot enough the guy will chubb out. but for women it’s more ethereal. it’s a game, it’s their secret society. they watch and observe each other’s tiniest nuance. they look for ear rings, shoes, anything, and measure and judge one another. they look for details. they make mental notes.
we’re just looking at tits and ass.
Men are simpler than women, but not simple. Even though men are *relatively* aspergic, both genders have an incredible number of ‘sixth senses’ learned through osmosis of past experiences. Whilst a man would ‘do’ a hot enough girl regardless of what she wore, in the real world when confronted by cultural and SMV matters, clothes signal as much to guys as they do to women. A woman’s dress sense and body language communicates her perceived SMV and that’s going to influence a guy’s decision as to how to gauge his approach and game, or whether to do so at all. He will have learned through experience to make vague correlations between dress and personality.
As far as game is concerned, when a girl mentally assesses a guy’s dress sense, she may infer various personality traits but she’s basically gauging SMV. When a guy mentally assesses a woman’s dress sense, he may observe SMV but the goal is to discern what traits/issues she might have in addition – things that might affect approachability.
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@Laura
You miss the point. Anyone who opens four women per day, despite already having an MLTR, is going to hit upon a lot more rudeness than your average guy who doesn’t open or opens less or opens less good looking women.
This is especially true if he refuses to open any women who aren’t 9s or 10s to him.
This is a standard issue and more or less the point of Roissy’s post. Its a feminist tactic to imply that any guy discussing this might not be doing well with the quality women.
@Dalerojo really is a troll here.
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Jerry, I need to stop dicking around with fools on the internet, but I can’t resist responding to this:
Your words bleed naïveté. The naïveté of a guy who actually thinks that girls “like” him, while they take his money. My god you’re stupid. But at least you’re helping to feed people in poor countries.
Au contraire, all this analytical terminology like “opening” is, generally, the signature of someone who is not naturally good with women, and has to systematize and study those interactions to get competent at them.
Do you not think it’s possible to be happily married? Or happily monogamous?
Two questions for you:
1) Have you EVER gotten sex without paying absurd amounts of money for it (and, yes, $200 in eastern europe is an absurd amount of money)?
2) Do you realize that, by offering such money, you are being the very “beta provider” that you profess to loathe so much?
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@Maurice –
Golden Boy here recovering from marital and professional failures. You’re absolutely right. I wish I had a harder time in my youth because it would make this easier. Not to say that I didn’t work hard back then, but my diligence and success was much more highly correlated at that time.
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@Dalerojo
Admit that you are female. Everything you say is from the female and feminist POV.
[define “great woman”. I have a strong feeling that you
think “great woman” = “pushover”.]
Feminist reaction to a man saying that great women aren’t rude.
[Great women need to be teased, too. Neg = TEASE. Tease. Joking. Playful]
Non-sequitur and, no, negs are not always teasing. Roissy wrote a post on how, sometimes, a man has to publicly dress a woman down for bad behavior. It works. Except maybe with feminists.
If you’re male, is your wife a feminist by chance?
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Can someone tell me what these are or send me a link of definitions please?
“negs, qualification, teasing, push-pull, takeaways, calculated indifference”
Thanks
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whoops: xychro74@yahoo.com
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@Dalerojo
Will you fucking stop talking like a 14 year old boy.
And no, don’t be a coward as usual and run.
Your biggest problem is you swallowed the simplistic Koolaid given to beginner PUAs that they are somehow instantly taking a step out of Betatude if they spend their money on PUA material instead of the local stripper. Life is more complicated than that.
Plus, if a man gets a set of lapdances once per month, it doesn’t mean that his only game. Again, this is a feminist shaming technique..or something once used to market PUA materials (buy our material instead of a lapdance).😉
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Zinc, http://www.pualingo.com/
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Jerry, admit that you’re an idiot. Everything you write is from the idiot POV.
And, since you have no answer to “have you ever had sex without paying absurd amounts of money for it?” we can conclude that, no, you have never had sex for which you haven’t paid absurd amounts of money.
And dear lord, if these girls are hitting you for $200 just for a striptease, I can only imagine how much you have to pay them to spread for you. The thought makes me shudder.
I’m not a walking catalog of Roissy posts, but I would bet big bucks that he was talking about “dressing down” a woman WHO IS ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.
You’re talking about “publicly dressing down” a woman who is a complete stranger to you. Which might get you slapped, doused with drinks, or beaten up by nearby men, but certainly not laid.
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Jerry, my latest comment is in moderation, but I’ve already spent more time on the internet, plumbing the depths of your gullibility and poor intuition, than I should have. I have to “run” so I can, ya know, go into the real world.
Suffice it to say that you’re a mark, that these women are basically pickpockets with tits, and that you are apparently OK with the whole situation. Great, everybody wins, who am I to object.
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@Dalerojo
Where your feminism hits up against a wall is that you have this fantasy that a college girl who strips for a man probably disrespects him and prefers superior men who don’t have to pay. In reality, if she strips for a man, she’s a whore who likes men who ask her to strip.
I use this game as a last resort, usually with stupid women who I later learn would have been rude to any man who didn’t treat her like a whore.
Many women want to be treated like that. I sometimes oblige.
But your feminist tactic of ignoring the many different types of game I’ve written about…shines through.
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Roissy…
write the book “Alpha Shrugged”… where all the high end men move to Estonia to stop the hamster of the world from spinning.
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@Dalerojo
Don’t leave coward. I’m just getting started.
Why do you get so fixated on the 10% of field reports where I may have realized a blonde wasn’t worth dating but was worth her and three of her friends stripping for $100 (I once used $200 to say that is what it costs with American college students)?
It really is Gamma of you to get so hateful about a guy doing that now and then in addition to meeting really great East European women (not pushovers – you define great women like a feminist would).
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@Dalerojo
Keep in mind, asshole, that you just spent a long time arguing about a very minor part (10%) of what I’ve written about in terms of what life is like in Eastern Europe.
The bottom line with you is that you clearly resent being married and wish that you were single in Eastern Europe.
Otherwise I wouldn’t eat at you like acid does.
Since you don’t have the guts to do that, you lash out at someone who does exactly what Roissy says a man *should* do, which is to have an MLTR consisting of worthwhile women, not whores, while opening and dating a lot of other women.
Whether or not a guy occasionally converts a rude woman and her friends into a fun striptease session shouldn’t eat at you like its an idea that you want to stamp out (as only feminists and unhappily married socons will want to do).
Let that go. We know you’re heading to the nearest strip joint yourself now. Hypocrite.😉
But do understand: a college student who will strip for a man for cash…is not someone anyone but a Beta would actually marry, so its nonsense to imply that she and her friends don’t respect the guy they strip in front of.
Two women who are engaged tgo marry Betas are constantly call me asking if I want them to strip for me again. I keep saying no.
They don’t get the message. They keep lowering the price. I keep saying no.
You would say their fiances are Alphas? Fucking nitwit.
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Jerry,
Dalerojo seems like a nice guy who has an easy rapport with women and I think he may have initially been trying to help you. His advice is good.
I just think a man your age shouldn’t be basing how he feels about himself on how 17-22 women view him. If you really have no interest in women closer to your own age then I guess there is no solution, but if you were more realistic about who would like you I think you could meet women who would be much nicer. It does seem like you take the whole game thing too seriously, it’s supposed to be light and fun. Don’t let women keep playing you for a fool.
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Two women who are engaged to marry Betas are constantly call me asking if I want them to strip for me again. I keep saying no.
LOLZ! Sorry, can’t stop LOLLZ… you are killing me, Jerry! LOLZ!
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Jerry/Dalerojo
Please stop fighting. You are breaking my heart.
In the spirit of reconciliation, Laura should provide a detailed description of her body/looks. I understand that she is in her mid 30s, and somewhere in the 5-6 range (are you adjusting the scale for your age, or sticking with an objective scale including women ages 16-70?) The description should be at least 50 words and include the word nipples. Thank you.
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I think I’ll be coining a new category: “Golden Fleece”.
[Just teasing you, Jerry, OK?😉
You said no. But that is what these young ladies have on their minds.]
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“I don’t know that I buy the “boys have fragile egos” thing.
Most men I know can accept criticism of their work, athletic performance etc. and evaluate it for accuracy. If its right, they adapt. If it’s wrong, we ignore it. Isn’t that why coaches and drill sargents use ridicule as much as positive speak to motivate men?
Criticize a woman for doing a bad job and most take it as an attack on them as a person. They respond with anger, screeching and possibly a trip to the HR Harpy’s office. I’ve heard of women crying because their Power Point presentation was mocked or they got a bad job review.
Men don’t do that.”
Because manhood is something that has had to qualified and earned (almost all cultures do this), boys are raised to be coached, criticized and challenged. Girls, basically, are not. So men are the only ones whose egos have been under constant stress their entire lives. Girls in general don’t get ego challenges from teachers, parents, coaches, etc, so they never develop the thick skin necessary. This itself may be part of the reason for the take-it-personally flipouts in female adulthood.
So men have a more pervasive fragility owing to continuous ego challenge most of their lives; women have momentary dips when their ego is poked, but because they are not men their egos are supple and elastic, and they can sing “I Will Survive” and move on to the next thing.
This acute dipe is what’s behind the “never talk about a woman’s weight” AFC rule. Because they haven’t been exposed to honest constructive (or destructive) criticism to their faces, only grapevine sniping from the social group, any negative comment about a woman’s SMV is an unforgivable slight.
In fairness, the millenial generation male or female can’t take criticism at work.
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Sidewinder, 50 words… can we trust her? Nekkid picture would be better, and possibly include nipples by default.
Don’t forget that a picture is worth thousand words!😉
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@Laura
You know @Dalerojo is a troll and don’t get into wishful thinking, as a late 30s married woman who says she’s a 6, that I’m not really dating, 90% of the time for free, very young beautiful women in Eastern Europe.
Despite being more than 10 years older than you.
I can imagine that bothers you, but that’s for you and me to talk about. I know you’re not a feminist.
This forum isn’t a place to say “Roissy’s worldview isn’t really applicable. Older guys really don’t date younger women”.
Its mentally sick for him or anyone to imply that someone who’s occassionally delivered a nuclear neg or someone who’s occasionally gotten a group of college girls to strip for $100, somehow doesn’t use or succeed at other game.
Especially in Eastern Europe.
We’ve gotten along well for six months. If you’ve got a secret problem, then let it out.
But bitter @Dalerojo has recently been striking out at Gorbachev and others. No need to think he’s some kind of nice guy and, no, his “advice” is that of a beginner PUA at best.
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“However, I turned it around, and gave a sports related neg “nice catch, alligator arms”, and it doesn’t seem to read the same way. This seems like it would make a girl want to quit, but a boy want to try harder. Given that drawing is more of a girl thing, sports more of a boy thing, something must be up. ”
Teasing a guy in sports is a male-on-male shit test. You are giving him faux criticism and asking him to respond from his nature; does he sulk, or betatize and say “sorry guys,” or does he tease back – “if the throw hadn’t been above my head I could have caught it!” – or tell the guy to throw him another one because he never misses twice?
This is how you discover who has the confidence and drive to be a leader and a game-breaker.
But it goes both ways…the art of coaching is figuring out who responds to challenges and negs, and who needs encouragement. There’s a lot of trash talk and criticism on a sports team so at least some of your leaders need to be thick-skinned and (lotsa) cocky.
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Badger Nation, In fairness, the millenial generation male or female can’t take criticism at work.
More pervasive than that. They can’t take criticism at anything.
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Spot on with the hot Ines Sainz “harassed” at a NY Jets training session. Feminists claim she was harrassed. From what I read about this story, she was being teased or negged as you would describe it. Sainz herself said she was not a victim.
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“Salsa is one such language. Make your men learn it. Of course, this largely benefits them. But you get to enjoy it for a while.
Seriously, dance is joy. I have no idea why men (largely beta) get so stiff about it. It has to be the easiest and most efficient way to access the largest pool of interesting women, cutting across all cultural and class lines.
It’s also fun, physical and you can do it your whole life. And challenging.
Who wouldn’t love all that?”
SECONDED. My first real practical introduction to game was when I took a ballroom dancing class. Approach the girl, take her in your arms, gentle but firm, lead her (she’s BEGGING to be led), throw in a few thrill items to keep her giggly.
You don’t need an opener – the dancing IS the opener, and then you’ve built comfort already. Like it used to be in American dating, you pretty much get at least one shot with any chick you’ve got enough sack to ask to dance. (Salsa is interesting because it containts a lot of push-pull and the opportunity for peacocking while you are no touching your partner.)
It was so eye-opening to hear women complain about bad leads from men. They want to be led! Also women who back-lead are not to be messed with, nor are chicks who have high opinions of their dancing ability; drop it and find another partner.
Guys do get skittish about dancing because it’s such a girls’ club. They shouldn’t. Dancing (partner dancing, not freaking at the club) is about men being properly masculine. It’s a target rich environment. It gives major gina tingles. Heed Gorby’s words, boys.
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Sidewinder,
HaHa, I’m too smart for that.
Jerry,
I do like you, but I suspect you are going for women that are out of your league. Maybe you didn’t date much when you were younger and want to make up for that, but be realistic. You make yourself a target for rudeness, disrespect, being used for money and swindled by chasing women that aren’t interested in you.
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@Laura
More particularly, only a woman would get fixated on the idea that a man in the USA who gets a lapdance now and then is “being played for a fool” or that, by going there, it means he does not have a girlfriend or wife he loves plus other “free” girlfriends.
It is simply low IQ (and a very obvious feminist tactic) to imply this.
The tactic doesn’t belong on this blog.
Unfortunately, the tactic still works with beginner PUAs. That’s because beginners don’t know how to even open a normal woman…and its too advanced to explain that, when you are about to give up on an entitled rude woman, you might consider that she’s rude because she really is only thinking about money.
Also many beginner PUAs (and surely Dalerojo) are poor and resent the idea that older men with money will beat them out in many cases.
In reality, college students who would strip for a man, often end up stalking him because they can’t understand why he doesn’t want them to do it again. If Dalerojo is a “male” he doesn’t know this because he hasn’t had much interaction with real women outside his politically correct world.
I would hardly call it “being played for a fool” when 10% of the women I deal with end up calling me all the time asking me why I don’t want them and their friends to strip for me again.
We’re talking 10% of my social life, Laura.
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@ Laura,
Come on. Seriously. Give us benign stats like height/weight/hair color/eye color and a celebrity who some may say you somewhat resemble.
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I shall try Zinc Oxide. I don’t wanna email you Zinc b/c I could be wrong. Plus, I’m a lady and who has much 2 learn. So…
negs, qualification, teasing, push-pull, takeaways, calculated indifference”…
Negs: playful, witty negative things a men says 2 a woman. She laughs, her ego is slightly deflated and she is still interested…it is not total cruelty but its fun cruelness. it is not “nice” but not too mean*
Push-pull, is….something like when the man is dealing with a pain in the ass who is pushing him for something or about something. he pulls his weight or pulls his control over her in the situation so she might behave.
Calculated indifference is “chick crack”. It is him ignoring if she says something degrading about herself, ignoring phone calls, emails or texts to build interest, build tingle-ness in the female or to get her hamster wheel on high gear. it can be feeling bad for her and saying, “oh you poor thing, you need me to save you”. Tingle factor is what helps turn her on in the nether regions .
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In reality, college students who would strip for a man, often end up stalking him because they can’t understand why he doesn’t want them to do it again
Sure, it’s not because they, like, want more money or anything. Couldn’t be that.
—
Where your feminism hits up against a wall is that you have this fantasy that a college girl who strips for a man probably disrespects him and prefers superior men who don’t have to pay. In reality, if she strips for a man, she’s a whore who likes men who ask her to strip.
In your supposed non-fantasy world, do you also believe that prostitutes “like” their johns?
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Re: negging a boy
I think people who are close to him, especially men can do this and as long as it’s good hearted it’s fine. No one should take themselves too seriously.
I once gently (I thought) teased my son in front of some girls from his school. (they were playing tag and I held him so one of the girls could tag him) He became enraged, more so then I’ve ever seen him. Boys do not like to be teased at all in front of girls.
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Sidewinder, a bikini shot! Very decent and yet will help us decide which celebrity she resembles.
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Height-almost 5’8″
hair color-light brown, which I highlight when I feel like spending the money
eyes-blue
weight-none of your damn business
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@Laura
“Re: negging a boy
I think people who are close to him, especially men can do this and as long as it’s good hearted it’s fine. No one should take themselves too seriously.
I once gently (I thought) teased my son in front of some girls from his school. (they were playing tag and I held him so one of the girls could tag him) He became enraged, more so then I’ve ever seen him. Boys do not like to be teased at all in front of girls.”
I’ll add……by their mother.
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Fascinating. Brings to my mind a 60 Minutes show from a few years ago about a boys high school somewhere in India. At one point the headmaster was asked what his biggest priority was. Do you think he answered calculus? Latin? English lit? History? Chemistry? No, he said he thought his number one task was to instill confidence in these boys so that they believe in themselves and are willing to go out and compete with the rest of the world. I remember thinking: can you imagine a superintendent of school in America saying something like that? First of all it would be good odds the super is a female. Second, the school is probably mixed gender so even if it’s a guy he’s going to nod to equality. Then there’s the whole ethnic question. I mean it’s just not going to happen; probably hasn’t happened in decades.
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@ Jerry,
I don’t think you need to justify your lifestyle at all. As a married man myself, I can understand why Dalerojo may engage in some degree of self-deception, but we all do that to one degree or another. An older man that opens and convinces college girls to strip for him, even if for money, has to have an ability to read people. An interaction like that has to require fluid adjustments and cannot be accomplished by a rigid PUA formula. Certainly a worthy accomplishment in my book.
Laura’s advice is good advice as well. I’m married to a woman that is considerably better looking than me, still in her 20s, and while we genuinely care for one another, it is undeniable that something is missing on a mental and emotional level. Not to imply that you are doing this, but I would not categorically refuse to get to know older girls, or younger girls for that matter…there is a lot of life to be shared in between blowing your loads and I’ve come to realize how important it is to find a partner to share that time.
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“Women, in general, seem to be stuck-up miserable, anti-social bitches these days.
Here I was with 4 of my buddies at the club after a concert. We’ve been drinking, but we’re all suited up looking good and having a good time on the dance floor. 3 bachelorette parties and scores of other women dancing, but none of them wanted anything to do with mingling, quick conversation, dancing, NOTHING.”
Generally, women today are constantly complaining to themselves and their clucksters that the perfect life they “deserve” has not materialized.
They walk around in a fog of resentment against mommy, daddy, their boss, the bouncer who checked them out, etc etc etc. Thus they can’t really have fun, they’re just going through the motions and drugging themselves with booze and fashion.
Unless a man approaches who builds instant attraction and gives them the rush of gina tingles, they have little interest in socializing with men.
“I think you can occasionally tease a boy very gently as long as he doesn’t feel like he is being humiliated in front of his peers. Boys do naturally fall into hierarchies I’ve noticed.”
I read a really interesting piece of research recently (don’t have the cite, sorry) that noted girls in school tend to compete to get to the top of the grade heap, while most boys pretty much accepted their lot and did not drive to compete with the
This sort of goes against conventional wisdom, but I think there are a couple of mitigating factors:
(a) women compete socially, while men compete for real tangible accomplishment – school is a social event moreso than a real accomplishment (does making a pretty posterboard and getting an A count as a true accomplishment?)
(b) Men tend to accept unequal outcomes if they receive equal (socialized?) social value in the group. Note that this is the fundamental operating principle of good sports teams – the QB and the backup tackle are chums – and business units – people can deal with different salaries if they all get invited to the happy hour. So if Bobby who gets A’s is friends with Billy who gets C’s, they are both happy and don’t feel the need to compete with one another.
(c) Women tend to try to equalize the workload, equalize the payout, etc, but keep a complex social hierarchy going where everyone has a different social value. This is part of why these systems blow men’s minds, because on the outside it looks like they are doing the same work and then arguing over social value based on nothing.
(d) hard to detach this study from the prevailing pro-female school system so its results probably reflect nurture more than nature.
Another way to look at points (b) and (c) would be this: in local social groups, all women are alpha – looking to rise and expand their status. Only a small sliver of men are alpha, so the equal-value, unequal-outcome system works for the betas and the alphas push through it (in effect, pass the system shit test) to become the pack leaders and all are happy. If all men were alpha it would be cutthroat chaos – kind of like female social groups are.
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@ Chris.
It is very sad that women do not think of the future but dream about “some great guy” and some over priced trashy wedding – just to soon divorce and raise children alone.
It keeps many a lady single. As for the mean girls. They scare me too & I’m a chick. I feel sorry 4 men today. Feminism has ruined land after land, people are more isolated then ever. and everyone is finding themselves stressed/unhappy. In my non internet life, I literally never know what kind of mood I am going to find a few ladies in. So I don’t say much.
Also, there are no “nice girls”. We ALL have bitchy-bitch-nut case days where the estrogen is on high. Trust me, from what I see women are suffering in their unhappiness/bitchiness and cruelty.
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Ran it through femofish translator:
weight-none of your damn business = too embarrassing to mention.
Can’t vouch for its accuracy, but it does usually a good job.
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Laura, I’m trying to read between the lines here, but would you say that you would be a 7 or higher if you shed a few pounds? Sounds like you have a great frame, euro features (blue eyes with light brown hair on the cusp of dirty blond is the best). Athletic build or buxom?
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“I once gently (I thought) teased my son in front of some girls from his school. (they were playing tag and I held him so one of the girls could tag him) He became enraged, more so then I’ve ever seen him. Boys do not like to be teased at all in front of girls.”
He absolutely had every right to slap you for doing that. If I had a son, I would not side with females against him under any circumstances, even “playfully.”
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“Re: negging a boy
I think people who are close to him, especially men can do this and as long as it’s good hearted it’s fine. No one should take themselves too seriously.”
The only times I’ve ever seen a man neg another man is when he’s whiteknighting, or cutting him down in front of other men. Either way, it’s not an attempt to clip his ego per se, it’s a display of social dominance to pump up the neg-man’s social value. I’ve never seen it done one on one.
It usually fails spectacularly, except in the rare case the man has already DHV’d and so he’s just backing it up.
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What,
Exactly. I won’t make that mistake again.
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“weight-none of your damn business = too embarrassing to mention.”
yeah, but at least she doesn’t lie about it. Females lie way too often about their weight (minus as many pounds as they see fit). I’ve never once lied about my weight. But when you tell the truth about your weight (because 99% of females lie about theirs), most people spend 10 minutes trying to convince you that you weigh 10-20 pounds less than you claim . (because their visual of what X pounds looks like is severely distorted)
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Name,
He punched me right in the face, something he has never done before. Believe me, I know I was wrong. He was taunting them a little and I just thought it would be funny, it wasn’t.
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Men: produce, “do things”, work, build cities, etc.
We ladies: take from that work, emote, “try” and offer average quality work, run the household (children, cooking, etc). Note: the above are generalized statements.
(Men lead, women follow, its just the way things are – now that statement is not general in the least bit).
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““I once gently (I thought) teased my son in front of some girls from his school. (they were playing tag and I held him so one of the girls could tag him) He became enraged, more so then I’ve ever seen him. Boys do not like to be teased at all in front of girls.”
He absolutely had every right to slap you for doing that. If I had a son, I would not side with females against him under any circumstances, even “playfully.””
Yeah seriously – with no intended disrespect to the poster (although I wonder what made her think that was good mothering), what the fuck is up with mothers today who think it’s funny to emasculate their sons, especially in front of women? Here we have restricting him so girls can dominate (e.g.tag) him, there’s also dressing and grooming him like a fairy, teaching him to be a beta, telling him girls are better, etc. I don’t think I have to wait for an answer to this question – it comes from two generations of social conditioning that boys and men are brutes, subhuman, unemotional and undeserving of kindness and compassion and concern for their needs.
My theory on this “Jewish mother effect” is that it comes from a subconscious desire to clip your kids so they will stay around to take care of you instead of bonding with a partner and making their own family. As always, there used to be social mechanisms that discouraged this process – the boy would be instructed by a strong set of male role models, and possibly forced to go through an overt male-proof vision quest type of exercise.
Meanwhile, the old system also encouraged fathers to raise their daughters right so they could be married off. A disincentive to create daddy’s girls who would bring disrepute to the family name if they couldn’t land a husband and build a good family.
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Name – and your height/weight/stats would be…
For a 5 8 girl with a normal build, I’d say weight should be in the 135-150 range. Is that way off?
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@Laura
We just cross posted so I’ll answer what you just said.
[I do like you but I suspect you are going for women that are out of your league.]
I can’t say I like you all that much if you want to forget (or disbelieve) basic things. What the Hell has gotten into you?
I’m 6’2″ and speak many languages and I have a gorgeous 25 year old girlfriend (almost half my age) in the town I am in plus a 29 year old girlfriend in another country. Both are solid marriage material and both are still 8s. I date other women at the rate of 4 new women per week, which means that I have a miserable scheduling problem because I have to include second and third dates with new women.
The average age of these other women is about 23 but I sometimes have to check IDs of beautiful young women who want to date me (with no money changing hands).
You have stated that my idea of a 10 is your idea of an 8 but then my idea of a 10 is Mariah Carey when she was 19 and I date this type of woman now and then in Eastern Europe (for free).
If you don’t believe this is true, you’ve never been a man in Eastern Europe. It doesn’t take much effort, even for a Beta to get such a scheduling problem (a good thing).
To say that rude women are somehow *better* or “out of my league” is to miss the entire point of this post.
Rude Eastern European women are often dummies.
They are often closet whores.
There is no reason to assume that a rude woman is only doing what she needs to do because of “all the man chasing her”.
Such a woman often already is over the hill or will be there in 4 years time.
Often women they think too much of themselves because they are in the 17-22 age range, not because I or another man is necessarily “too old” for them.
This isn’t to say there aren’t great women in that age range that a man in his 40s or even 50s cannot date. Women like intelligent men and guys who look like Segall or Travolta are actually fairly common. And note that Segall and Travolta can bed 19 year olds because of their looks alone.
CR just posted about how so many women are rude to men BECAUSE they think too much of themselves.
You and the Dale troll (I expect the feminist to chime in any second) are missing the entire point of Roissy’s post.
Women are mostly rude because they’ve been taught too much self-esteem.
[Maybe you didn’t date much when you were younger and want to make up for that, but be realistic. ]
You could have said that six months ago.
What is with you today? Secretly wishing I didn’t really have a scheduling problem with women half my age 90% of whom want to date me the normal way?
Secretly wishing that I must be some total psycho because you don’t like the idea that other 40 something American men might get the idea that such a life is possible?
@Gorbachev – Tell Laura that, in Korea, a 48 year old American man would have a massive scheduling problem with women half his age (a scheduling problem is a good thing).
[You make yourself a target for rudeness, disrespect, being used for money and swindled by chasing women that aren’t interested in you.]
This is a non-sequitur. The more a man opens beautiful women, the more rude women he will meet.
But it also means the more nice women he will meet who are interested in him.
Rudeness coming from some women toward a man does not mean that other, good, women will be rude. To think otherwise is to think like a radical feminst.
Plus you don’t know the type of woman who has never stripped for cash before but allowed an older man to convince her.
They mostly end up being stalkers when the man turns out to have been only interested in her stripping once.
Read what @Sidewinder just wrote.
It really does take advanced social skills for a man to convince a normal college student (and her friends) to strip for $100.
Beginners aren’t told this because they may be used to asking professionals to do the same, which takes 100% less skill.
Often, advanced forms of anything (sales, game) is the exact opposite of what beginners are taught.
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“He punched me right in the face, something he has never done before. ”
Good. Because that would be the appropriate, normal response. It’d be more of a concern if he didn’t punch you back. At least he retained some of his dignity. Hopefully, you didn’t lose a tooth or anything.
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Sidewinder, 135-145 is an optimal range for 5’8″. Just the right amount of padding.
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Nicole,
“Yeah, a guy thinking long term should love a woman for what’s on the inside, but what’s on the outside is an expression of what’s within. Girls need to be told the cold truth about that. It’s much better to be pleased with one’s self because of one’s behavior and its rewards than it is to be confident based on nothing.
It would be nice if men were also more vocal about this. If guys are being honest, few of them have to have a model or pole dancer perfect woman. Most are very happy with one who just takes care of what she’s got.”
SECONDED. I cannot get across to young women I know how it feels to a man when a woman lets herself go. It says “you’re not good enough for me to look good for; you’re not worth my effort.”
Meanwhile they’ll bitch about how men should commit, and should bust their ass to buy girls pretty shiny things. And then tell me “but you should love her for what’s on the inside!”
To which I respond, if what’s on the inside can’t be bothered to stay in shape, that’s a personality problem, not a body problem, and the man will lose interest.
Not to mention the women I talk to about this don’t do a lot of loving men for what’s on the inside. If he lost his job or crashed his nice car, she’d be back on the market in a heartbeat with some attendant whines about how she’s “not haaapppy.”
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it’s sad that the last few girls my coterie have found memorable were girls that were simply pleasant to f’ing be around.
like, they could talk, carefree, didn’t have to be serious or aggravated about some perceived insult from 4 hours ago. they just enjoyed being social.
this is the winter of our discontent.
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Name,
No. It was upsetting though. I don’t want to emasculate him, but mothers can make mistakes or errors in judgement. A lot of women might not really understand the male ego. You’re right, though, never side with a girl over him. If you think his behavior was wrong, tell him in private.
Sidewinder,
My weight is definitely in that range. My husband tells me I need to lose 15 lbs., I think it’s more like 10. I used to be athletic, but I’ve gotten away from it. I probably should start playing some sport, maybe tennis, I’ve always enjoyed them.
Badger Nation,
I would not like it if a man put down another man just to impress a woman. I would think less of him for it.
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“Name – and your height/weight/stats would be…”
It’s actually not really relevant. But, what the hell… I’m not exactly short for a girl, but I would have liked to be taller by 2-3 or 4 inches. I typically weigh about 7 pounds for every inch over the 5 feet mark. (Minus a fat phase in college, I’ve never exceeded the upper weight limit for my height) I need to follow a strict CR diet in order to visibly have the super ideal WHR. But I became a competitive athlete when I reached 30 and have stuck with a higher weight range for my height. I’ve got enough of the appropriate ethnicity on my family tree to have very substantial fat in the most desirable place possible. But if I’m not careful, my waistline gets too big because I carry virtually zero fat anywhere else on my body. I married tall so my offspring has a chance at not being a midget. That about sums it up.
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“I don’t want to emasculate him”
I’m not accusing you of bad parenting. We make mistakes. It’s just. I don’t even have a son, and already he could do no wrong! I’d be in love.
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it’s sad that the last few girls my coterie have found memorable were girls that were simply pleasant to f’ing be around.
Emphasis added.
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Laura,
I think I’ve got a good picture. You are naturally slender and should probably be closer to 130 than 150.
Sounds like you are under-selling yourself to some degree however. Unless you have some glaring facial defects, I think your husband is probably correct in placing you in the 6-7 range, as is.
Name,
I take it you have nice T’s? What ethnicity has that tendency? Or were you referring to your pirate treasure?
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lzozlozolzlzozlzozlzozlzozlzozlzoz!!!!!
yah yesterday’s womenz expected:
1 love
2 devotion
3 kids
when dey gave a man love deotion and kids
yah today’s womenz expect
1 unlimted butthex on demand
2 consthant servicing of gina tingles by random cocka
3 secetreive tapings fo butthex without conthen
4 lotsa cocka form randoms
5 lotsa cashola from betas before during after marriges lzozlzlzlzolzzlzozozl
6 lotsa ginamony funding tham 2 fuck more randoms lzozozl wh they fucked during marirage ain’t no law against aldutrery obly laws making men pay for past use of pussy boty did the beranke boyz neoosoncs fuck up women as now they are useless lzozlzozozlzl
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Don’t pay attention to what women say and do, period. Enjoy them for what they are, or the pretty ones are: pretty little things for you to play with. Under no circumstances take ANY girl these days seriously at all. The above post with the mother teasing her son in front of girls is a perfect example of whats wrong with girls these days.
It kind of seems like we’re reverting back to school yard behaviour in the dating world doesnt it?
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I have to disagree a bit with this post. I think that women DO suffer from overly high self esteem, in regards to their sexual market value. There is no denying that. Particularly in major urban centers.
Where I disagree is that the high self esteem in sexual market value, spills over into other areas. I think it does and doesn’t. Feminists are a great example, over-inflated assement of their sexual market value, but in many cases, it masks low self esteem. How else could you explain the penis envy?
I volunteer with teens in my spare time, and its very true that many of these girls have the inflated sexual market value self assessments, while at the SAME TIME having, horrible self – esteem. To a degree I believe inflating the sexual market value, which is something men make easy, is a mechanism to cope with low self esteem in other areas. With the kids I work with, that’s how it is.
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“I take it you have nice T’s? What ethnicity has that tendency?” One Mediterranean-ish ethnicity that I’ve always clearly identified with breasts. But there might be a second too- German? Ah, I probably shouldn’t ethically profile. Anyway, I’ve discovered evil looks from women in evening settings = phenomenal breasts. It’s a sensitive subject for most women, apparently. But it took me a while to figure that out.
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Name, do you have some jewish ancestry?
I’d be interesting in seeing your breasts (no shit, right? no joke intended). I had a jewish girlfriend years ago who had amazing breasts at age 24-26. I’m curious as to how they would look these days, however (she’d be early-30s). If you were to maximize their appearance, would you do a reduction or lift? or are they same as ever?
I’ve run into girls with large, yet terrible breasts, and I’ve wondered if they have just always been terrible, or if they were once great and its just a function of time and gravity.
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“If you were to maximize their appearance, would you do a reduction or lift? or are they same as ever?”
I’d never consider a reduction. I really don’t get the girls who claim they need a reduction because their backs hurt because their breasts are so large. They apparently have very weak backs. A lift is possibly the only thing I would only very remotely entertain, like .00002% likelihood. Here’s the deal: I’m of the mindset, there is no physical characteristic that can’t be remedied by logging hours in the gym. So, in 10 years, if I sagged to a point of grotesqueness, then I’d simply resculpt and transform via slow extended physical effort. Unless I’m bleeding alongside the road, I don’t want surgical instruments near my body. As far back as I’m aware, 400-500 yrs., I am not Jewish. I never really thought of Jewish women as breasty. All the ones I know are like 5′ A-cup at best.
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@Sidewinder
“Name, do you have some jewish ancestry?
I’d be interesting in seeing your breasts (no shit, right? no joke intended)”
This is getting interesting! I’ll just go and get my tea first! lol!!!
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Sidewinder,
1 comment in mod. As a followup to that comment, if for some reason I needed a double mastectomy, I’d get implants, obviously. And I’d consider a lift later in life, if it were possible to have done while not under total anesthesia. (I don’t think the anesthesia risks would outweigh the breast lift benefits). But the real issue is, by the time I’d get to an age to consider or need a breast lift, I’d be past the point of fertility anyway. I wouldn’t “need” to look feminine, my breasts would have already long ago served their function (breastfeeding). So, I could just as easily pursue the “masculine” ideal I linked to a few days ago: which is bodybuilding. My guess is the large-but-horrible breasted women you know, most likely have fat, cellulite elsewhere on their body including their glutes and thighs.
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“This is getting interesting! I’ll just go and get my tea first! lol!!!”
Bagged or loose leaf?
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I suppose after years of cognitive dissonance any women would start to go insane when reality somehow does not fit with their own little private realities.
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any woman…
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I have a big chest and it’s the same thing. They were great when I was younger, but gravity, pregnancy and breastfeeding really takes a toll. The first thing I do in the morning is put on a bra and it’s the last thing I take off at night. I probably could benefit from a breast lift, but there are other things I would rather spend the money on. Just wear a supportive bra.
Women tend to go for the more muscular look as they get older because we lose the feminine softness anyway. You mine as well at least be in shape.
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For Citizen Renegade,
Does testosterone in sweat act as a pheremone?
http://www.scq.ubc.ca/sweaty-sex/
*(very interesting stuff in that article, especially about testosterone receptors in the mouth……..perhaps burrowing for that first kiss might be a better tactic than previously thought)
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@Name
“This is getting interesting! I’ll just go and get my tea first! lol!!!”
“Bagged or loose leaf?”
diversion?
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Jerry says, “Its a feminist tactic to imply that any guy discussing this might not be doing well with the quality women.”
I don’t think so. I’ve been watching this catfight, and I think you’re a bit oversensitive to valid questioning of your possible selection bias.
On the other hand, I think some guys underestimate the difficulty a shy person has in approaching people. It is an accomplishment.
I don’t think their problem is their own feminism, but the social effects of living in feminist cultures. Most north Americans don’t get money game because where they live, women make a point of being able to pay for themselves, at least until the trap is secured.
Outside of overly feminist cultures, and in confused ones like here in Israel, a decent woman doesn’t expect to have to finance the relationship. She’s bringing her beauty and hopefully loyalty and fertility to the table, and the guy is supposed to bring the money.
This arrangement does open some up to exploitation by unethical hoes who pretend to want relationships, but for the most part, it works pretty well because in non feminist or not totally saturated cultures, women don’t make as much as men generally…at least not until they’re older.
A woman spends her youth looking for a husband, and if working, at a job that pays her enough to live but allows her time to socialize, or studying while still looking for a husband. After finding one, she spends her youth raising kids. Most, if they’re inclined to, go for the serious career after their kids are grown or at least school age.
If the culture is open enough to allow for non prostitutes to have premarital sex, then when a guy, regardless of age, is banging her, he’s basically reducing her value somewhat or at the very least, taking up time that she could be looking for someone who’s actually going to keep her. So along the way, he has to make it worth her while to get and to keep her attention.
One young Russian lady I know explained it thusly: If I have to work a job for 12 hours a day to live, I don’t have time for dating. I’m too tired. So if a guy wants me to have time for him, it’s in his interest to make sure I can either not work outside or work fewer hours.
Now I quote her, “So the price of my pussy might not be half of a man’s income forever, but the least a guy can do is buy me a damned drink.”
Makes sense to me.
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A drink at a pub here, by the way, costs one and a half times what is a normal hour’s wage for most girls under 25.
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@Laura
Interestingly, one reason why I let the troll get under my skin today is because the 19 year old that I consider a 10 who’s been emailing me for two months from a neighboring country, seemed to be avoiding my calls about meeting this weekend.
It turned out that a friend was in an auto accident yesterday and all hell had broken loose. She called me just now.
Normally things work out over here. In Western Europe, I’d have problems dating a 19 year old successfully.
@Morsellaux
I would say 145-150 is optimal for a woman 5’8″ but its interesting that we agree on 145 being about right.
@Dalerojo
[Au contraire, all this analytical terminology like “opening” is, generally, the signature of someone who is not naturally good with women, and has to systematize and study those interactions to get competent at them.]
Its cowardly for a supposedly happily married man to come to this blog and pretend that game terms like “opering” are for those who, unlike him, are not “naturally good with women”.
Prove it asshole. Do what Sidewinder did at Starbucks with two women half his age and live blog it. Go for a friendly number close saying you’re married but would like to stay in touch as friends.
And don’t say the women will be justified in saying they don’t want to be friends with you because you’re married. That’s a Gamma Married Guy Copout.
[Do you not think it’s possible to be happily married? Or happily monogamous?]
Yes, but I know you’re not happy. You wouldn’t have blindly attacked me (as well as Gorbachev and others) claiming to be better than us at game because you’re a “natural” and let me get under your skin so much simply for being a 40 something American who does not want to be married.
Stay on this thread and discuss if you still have problems with me. But, for the sake of showing some intelligencel, keep off the feminist shaming tactic of pretending a guy who gets a lapdance once in awhile (convincing non-pros to do it) is always failing with women. That is a non-sequitur.
Go to the local college and try to get normal women to strip for you. Watch them call the cops on you because you would definitely *not* know how to do it correctly.
Don’t hide behind political correctness asshole. Try it.
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klzozlzlzozozl
womenz are entitled today because the federal reserve funded dfeminism to trach teachwomen that they are entitled to an’s ahrd work and assettss lzozlzozlzlzlz
women have transferred tirllions of dolalrs form men in dovroce court and alimony and child support and of every dollar bernakne and his buddies get a big cut lzozlzlzlzozlzlozz
lzozlzlzolzlzlzlzlozzlozlzo!! lxozl
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“Women tend to go for the more muscular look as they get older because we lose the feminine softness anyway. You mine as well at least be in shape.”
Exactly. If no one is looking past age 40, it makes no difference what they’re not looking at. You might as well at least pursue what makes you happiest. And, of course, there’s the added benefit of not having to worry about broken hips and loss of bone mass.
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Being now in my 50s, I have seen my share of late 30 something women. They have the tendency to take themselves out of the game as they age. They will drop out of venues that they are not comfortable in or where they cannot flaunt / enjoy their social status. This is one reason women shop so much. It is a social venue where they can command attention, even if it is only because they have money. One by one, women will withdraw from social gatherings where younger women maintain the higher social rank and get the attention.
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Z: “I remember Sailer writing about Asian students who actually score very highly on international math tests only rating their computational abilities as “average” or “OK”.
It’s “scored very high”, not highly. Nothing about the process of scoring is described or modified but rather “high” in this case describes a deleted or null cognate object (the scores). “Scored lowly” sounds more ridiculous and illustrates this arcane but grating when overcorrected grammatical point.
The opposite is true of NAMs, by the way.
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come on people… “Alpha Shrugged”? “stop the hamster of the world”?
solid gold comment
no respect.
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Professor Woland,
I’m in my 30’s and I don’t really enjoy social gatherings where I’m one of the older women, especially if there are men there. It just makes me feel old and unattractive, I’d rather stay home and watch a movie.
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@Badger Nation: Another way to look at points (b) and (c) would be this: in local social groups, all women are alpha – looking to rise and expand their status. Only a small sliver of men are alpha, so the equal-value, unequal-outcome system works for the betas and the alphas push through it (in effect, pass the system shit test) to become the pack leaders and all are happy. If all men were alpha it would be cutthroat chaos – kind of like female social groups are.
That’s true. Alpha and beta males may behave cooperatively. Women are far more likely to bitch behind other girl’s backs then suddenly be friendly to them in person. I’ve experienced that behaviour in a lot of women, the tendency to want to shoot down the girl who’s getting the more attention, whilst being ostensibly friends with them as to reap the benefits of that friendship.
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Science:
“stop the hamster of the world”
Not really. They can be harnessed to do useful work.
But as for “Hamsters of the world, unite!”, that is insidious and needs to be nuked, nuked, nuked.
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@sharpcool
“This old cliche that I guess is still floating around, that “women don’t dress to impress men”, needs to be retired. Women dress to impress other women but ultimately for the attention of men. That’s the end goal.”
Have to disagree, women get naked to impress men, they dress for each other. (Full disclosure, I spent a few years in the fashion industry.)
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EPIC FAIL…..
you have a stealthy under-current of “Northeast-Male Grievance” in all your posts recently…
Yes, women in DC and major Metros in North East have bloated heads…this has nothing to do with memes or psycho bable.
Its pure numbers: captive populations regress, and devolve, with degrading values & standards.
In the North east, women are less in shape, less blond, less skinny, less white than in major metro areas elsewhere.
You might pull out your CDC data and argue otherwise, but if you peruse any “available social scene” (eg, where actual women are looking for dick v. some socialigists data who has never picked up) in NY, DC, Boston, Tristate you will notice less than 10% blond hair, lots of immigrants, lots of short jews, round hispanics, fat blacks and in general not lots of beauty.
SO, why do Men stay in these pussy wastelands?
Simple: $ Money: best jobs r here.
Second: $ attracts smart women too, who play the captive male audience off each other, and rely on using witticisms and elaborate toying mechanisms to string men along for pussy or marriage….not their looks
Meanwhile if you head to CA and OC, or Florida or Texas or Nevada, these places have huge immigrant populations, but the hot women elbow them out of the way b/c they know their dating currency is looks (ass, tits, blond hair). The industry in these locales is dispersed, so NO men are captive, and roam freely.
Women see this and realize if they dont put out, that guy is on the 405 freeway never to be seen again, v. the poor NYC lawyer or DC politico who will be in that shit happy hour in Du Pont circle or Meatipacking district for next 8 yrs of his single life.
Its pure #s. Anywhere where women have to rely on their bodies (warm weather, outdoor based social scenes, diverse economies) will always have better pussy.
This will trickle down into group-think dynamics of social scene and poison it for decades.
Solution: Make your money & Move!
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A more relevant question is, do the sexes gain confidence in the same way? For years, boys have grown into men through a series of trials that are meant to break them down, instill self-reliance, and build pride. It’s ubiquitious across cultures, although the one that immediately comes to mind for me is the way it was portrayed for the Spartans in 300. A common theme seems to be mentorship by a male figure. Men everywhere will testify to having gained much of their self worth and strength through their trials in life. Sometimes I wish the U.S. had a mandatory military/civil service.
So I don’t necessarily buy that we’re not building our males up enough in society. No, we’re failing to give them proper ways to test and prove themselves. They lack strong mentors. Untested, boys now drift along until they reach hardship and realize their mothers’ praise did nothing to build their inner Game.
I’m not sure how things work with women w/regard to confidence, though.
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That is a relevant question Sox. My grandfather joined the marines during WWII as a teenager and told me that experience made him into a man. He was an insecure punk before that and when he came home he was a confident man who knew he could handle things. He is very nice, but he always deals with people from a position of strength and has made a good life for himself. Obviously we don’t want to go to war just to turn our boys into men, but I do think there is something to be said for a rite of passage for a boy. Real confidence comes from getting through life’s trials and knowing you can handle yourself like a man in different situations life may throw at you.
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Badger Nation,
I think men are much better at establishing hierarchies and the men I know seem to be very quick to give credit to other men where it is due. They also don’t engage in false modesty, if they are better at something than another man they don’t try to pretend they aren’t.
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@Science
Of course your comment was golden but you’ll learn here that few guys have the nerve to try to find a living outside their home country. I can’t believe myself that zero other Roissy readers live in Eastern Europe despite Roissy agreeing that game goes farther here. Its insane how little I’ve seen here of guys practicing the main points Roissy preaches. I noted above that almost nobody here describes the composition of their MLTR (harem), meaning few actually have one. It seems, like Silver Fox just said, too many guys who read this blog live on Dupont Circle in DC where they are captive to the feminist lawyer chicks.
Do go to Estonia yourself. You won’t regret it. They’re not push-overs there, of course, but the 9s and 10s outnumber their counterparts in anglo countries 7:1 (of course the female:male ratio would be 1:0.9). You will benefit from ratios being in your favor.
@Nicole
You make a good point about some here not having any conception at all about life outside the feminist matrix, but the issue at hand is not so much about women in different societies viewing their worth or their time in terms of money or not. I can convince normal American college girls to strip as well (or watch me strip), and for a token amount. These days, shows like Sex and the City teach young women to do things like watch men strip for the thrill mostly, not the money.
If I were in Key West on vacation this coming winter, I’d get a few younger guys as wingmen and we’d talk to the hottest of the hot groups of women at Sloppy Joes, first to gain rapport and DHVs and then about which of us guys they’d think would win a stripping contest and could they be the judges in a contest. We’d probably get the women to pay us but we’d be homosexuals or Betas if we weren’t willing and able, if thats what it took, to get an ocean front room at the Sheraton in which the women could stay overnight after the fun event, even if we had to go back to our rooms.
I wouldn’t worry about being less good looking than the wingmen.
What happens is that normal college women who’ve seen a guy or several guys naked or stripped for a guy, regardless of money changing hands or not, are much easier to get into bed at a later date.
It would be a fun way to spend at least one of 7 nights in Key West. The other 6 nights I might just employ normal game in various sets.
But what upset the feminist-oriented married guy so much is a simple maneuver that’s all about changing the frame when gaming a group of women, none of whom is romance material (or marriage material).
This really changes the frame. Its better than a nuclear neg.
Beginners game manuals don’t discuss how a man can go after a woman and her friends simultaneously (never trying to romance the main target until she and her friends are already used to being in their panties in front of him). Its asshole game to reduce the main target to being just one of a group of women. Again, it really doesn’t matter whether they pay him or he pays them. The point is getting the entire group to do something sexual. Nobody’s a pro so the psychology of pros isn’t there. The dynamic is about getting the target used to being in her panties in front of the man.
A college girl is likely to disrespect herself in the morning for going along with it than she’d be likely to disrespect the guy or trio of guys who convinced her and her friends to do something wild.
But modern American women wouldn’t disrespect themselves for this kind of thing.
And its, of course, only one of many ways of having fun with normal members of the opposite sex.
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@Science
“Roissy…
write the book “Alpha Shrugged”… where all the high end men move to Estonia to stop the hamster of the world from spinning.”
2 Funny !!!
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Laura,
Men are all about climbing the dominance hierarchy. That is all we do. Our physical magnatism is determined before birth so all there is to do is work on the variables. Even a schlub will do well if he is sitting on top. Men who can neither climb the heirarchy or have no physical gifts to pass on end up in genetic extinction.
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lol wtf I just saw the men who stare at goats finally.
Why no review of that movie?
That shit owned.
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And nobody asked me to join wtf I have way the fuck better and more realistic fucking ideas than that.
he he he
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Another way in which many of the readers of this blog must be stuck on Dupont Circle in DC is that I’ve seen few posts about the Couple’s Swap Scene or nudist camps in the USA.
The film “Eyes Wide Shut” was amateur hour. That stuff really exists, its happening every Saturday night in key US cities and nobody is getting killed over it.
Women are convincing their Beta husbands to take on a fellow camper at the local naturist resort all the time. Its very common on Craigslist. Hypergamous American wives are rampant.
I’ve rarely seen anyone here mention for instance that, if you take a hot female friend in normal clothes to a Goth joint in San Francisco, that is a sign to hot young married women and their husbands that the two of you are looking for a swap.
Haters would like to say “That’s a lie. You’re making it up.” But that’s because they fear how interesting the world can be when you change frames away from bars on Dupont Circle.
Its not my fault that the sexual revolution opened a pandora’s box of interesting ways of spending a Saturday night.
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If your trying to get info off of a muslim terrorist make them think they died and went to heaven put the 100 virgin(patriotic hookers) in a nice setup and send the guys in lol
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@ Silver Fox is right. Moving to Florida from the northeast was a huge game-changer for me. I was 24 when I got here, and I’d slept with 7 women (not counting hookers, which I didn’t count then, but now believe should count as at least double). I doubled by lifetime total within 6 months. In fact, on my third night in Florida, I fucked the hot girlfriend of the owner of a strip club when she was staying at a motel during a fight with him.
I compare notes with friends in NY, and its a world apart.
@ Jerry is right, too, in his 4:03 post.
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The feminist troll above wanted to find one commenter who believes Jerry. Here he is.
I don’t comment often. But it is very easy to tell who lies. The troll is the liar.
I give Jerry infinite credit for being what so few, even on a blog like this, can claim: a man who craves young, sweet pussy and will not be shamed away from it.
The single most disgusting idea in the entire canting culture is that a man in his 40’s who wants to fuck an 18 year old is “creepy.”
The truth is: he still has working balls.
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@Laura
I have a big chest and it’s the same thing. They were great when I was younger, but gravity, pregnancy and breastfeeding really takes a toll. The first thing I do in the morning is put on a bra and it’s the last thing I take off at night. I probably could benefit from a breast lift, but there are other things I would rather spend the money on. Just wear a supportive bra.
Women tend to go for the more muscular look as they get older because we lose the feminine softness anyway. You mine as well at least be in shape.
Laura,
Despite what CR and company say, it’s entirely possible for a 30-40 year old woman to be attractive if she’s in shape. I know a good number of younger men who pine after the in-shape older women.
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Gorbachev–
I agree with you about women often being attractive in their 30s.
That said few women really peak past 25 I think. It’s a question of how fast the decline is. While many, many men peak in their mid 30s or even a tad older. It’s not so heavily about looks in men (though getting fat is bad for men too), and the somewhat weathered look works for lots of men.
Part of what Chateau is doing is negging women en mass I think. His main purpose is to push women to marry earlier, by their mid 20s. It’s one of his “help the betas” prescriptions, besides they’re learning some game. If heeded it would help betas including higher betas by having less sluttified 7s willing to marry higher betas (male 7s), since at 25 more of them will be less sluttified than at 30.
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n/a, da grrlz feel it’s creepy and eeeww. I an not sure about men, if they think so, they are some sort of a life form that I don’t really grok. Hell, I a mid-50’s and my goal is to fetch myself a 23-25yo wench as a LTR companion (I got over the idea of marriage a good while ago). Would I fuck 18yo if opportunity presents itself? Yewbetcha.
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Thanks Gorb and Doug. I think plenty of women my age and older look good. One does have to work at it more.
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n/a,
I wouldn’t worry, I don’t think Jerry is going to be deterred.
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@Morsellaux
“n/a, da grrlz feel it’s creepy and eeeww. I an not sure about men, if they think so, they are some sort of a life form that I don’t really grok. Hell, I a mid-50′s and my goal is to fetch myself a 23-25yo wench as a LTR companion (I got over the idea of marriage a good while ago). Would I fuck 18yo if opportunity presents itself? Yewbetcha.”
Morsellaux….you’ve got to loose that white fluffy thing on your chin!!hahahah!! only joking!! hee!hee!
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what, once a while I do, I have a nice scar on my chin and when I put on an eye patch and limp a tad, I am irresistible! My last semi-perm female thought it’s cute (the white fuzz). But she was not 23, alas!😉
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I think the fact that the mantra “Women and children first,” is now an outmoded anachronism disproves your theory.
In the past, women were considered objectively more valuable to society than men. Nowadays, thanks to feminism, these beliefs are over and done with. I no longer have to stand to give my seat to a woman. And I can thank feminism for that.
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“Part of what Chateau is doing is negging women en mass I think. His main purpose is to push women to marry earlier, by their mid 20s.”
Hmm, I suppose this could be accomplished by a female blogger who offers advice to young girls similar to, “Marry the first guy you go to a school dance with.” And, “Have a first baby by age 25 to minimize your later risk of osteoporosis.” Yeah, I don’t see it going over very well. Despite any truth to it. True story: I essentially got sneered at by a divorced, aged, single mom who, honestly, physically resembled a troll in terms of looks and appearance for my lifestyle choice of buying a single-use c..k carousel ticket. You would have thought I told her I slept with my brother by her reaction.
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@Rarfy
“I no longer have to stand to give my seat to a woman. And I can thank feminism for that.”
Every cloud has a silver lining.
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http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1611490608.html
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Hi Laura,
[Thanks Gorb and Doug. I think plenty of women my age and older look good. One does have to work at it more.]
You forgot to thank me for regularly saying that there are plenty of gorgeous *married* women over 35. In fact, the link I provided of my idea of a 10 showed her 43 year old mother whom I thought was a 7.5 while you felt she was a 6 (you felt the daughter was an 8).
I can provide you with the affirmation you need just like Doug and Gorby.
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Laura,
That said, one of Roissy’s main points is that the entire old media and various anglo-saxon governments incessantly affirm the egos of older women at the expense of men’s overall interest. They spread pretty lies, for instance about men preferring cougars while condemning men who date younger women as creeps. Then they try to raise the age of consent everywhere, arrest men for being johns, raise child support to sickening levels…and this is just what comes from *conservatives*. The liberals get worse.
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Then, if it isn’t bad that single men have to suffer a media and government preference for assuaging the feelings/envy/insecurity of older women, we also have to suffer the arrogance of insecure married men who consistently pretend that they’re having the best of sex lives with their wives…while feeling a lot of animosity toward men older than they are who are still single and say they’re having fun with women younger than their wives. Whether its Kansas Senator Sam Brownback condemning American men on Vatican Radio for traveling overseas to meet women or Dalerojo who calls all East European women whores, they’re like a broken record and all single men know that their animosity is based on ENVY for a life they were too chicken shit to carve out for themselves.
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Jerry, that there are college girls willing to strip for a token sum, and go up to a nice hotel room is, in my opinion, a good sign. It means good old fashioned American sluts still exist, who are going for the full experience.
So many these days sell themselves so cheaply because they don’t see the difference between being a guest and being a whore. We’re taught that a guy wanting to pay for things is exploitive, when the truth is that he’s just operating within what he feels is a good time.
If a guy had a male friend who made less money or was broke, and he wanted to go to an expensive pub, he’d treat his friend. Some guys will even spot a dude they just met because they like his company. Why shouldn’t he treat a female who he wants to have a good time with the same?
When I look back over my life from the perspective I have now, on the things I did right in my life, and the things I did wrong, much of the wrong has to do with basically insulting a guy’s generosity. It’s smart not to let a guy think he can buy you, but that issue should never even come up unless you suspect the guy is trying to do something bad to you, and cover it with money.
It shouldn’t be that from the beginning, a woman is devaluing her time or her position, even as a fling, by placing herself below the level of a fast friend. By doing so, especially if she’s not particularly beautiful, she pretty much guarantees that the only guys who will take her seriously are mangina who are relieved someone won’t ask them to be generous or by extension, responsible.
As the fat chick, I fell into that trap a couple of times. Never again.
Lo and behold, when I entered the magical kingdom heretofore to be known as Gorbachevia (because someone accused him of living in a fantasy land before you, or else it would be called Jerryton) where the men are men and the women are grateful, I stopped having to pay for drinks. I suppose I’ll know I’m a citizen when I get some jewelry. If it turns out that I’m too old to get jewelry then hey, I’ll settle for many nights of drunkness and dancing with some occasional debauchery until I prune up.
I may not be as cute as I was in my 20’s, but I’m having a lot more fun without compromising my dignity.
A man shouldn’t compromise his dignity either. If he’s got the cash, he should live it up like he understands he can’t take it with him. Whatever experiences he wants, that the money can aid him in, he should get. He should not dumb himself down because feminists say that a relationship with an “equal” is somehow superior or more loving. The statistics show that this is not the case.
If it means some harpies will suck their teeth and sour grape as he walks out of the party with five women who want to pile on, then so be it. When I see something like that and any of my female friends starts the bitter bitching, I tell them to hush and wish the guy a happy night.
By “stripping” things down to the basics, you give sluts what they actually need, which is someone who shows that he appreciates the fun they have to give. As a woman who has always hated the paper marriage racket, I get that. If I’d known what I was doing when I was younger, I still might not have jumped on the carousel proper, but instead of promoting nice guy friends who didn’t get me, I’d have traded in my goth gear for some lolita and gone with my real aesthetic, sexual, and romantic desire for older men I could’ve relaxed with.
Instead of face saving maneuvers, I could have just been the girl.
Well, better late than never, I guess.
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@Dalerojo
There you have it. Your amorphous “argument” with me played live over a popular thread during the American daylight and evening hours. Roissy gets more than 3000 hits per day.
You got zero support from males who were more polite with you than I expected. Read and learn what they said, including Nicole’s comment. This is not a place for beginners PUA platitudes serving the macho insecurity of a married White Knighter who wants to believe, but won’t confirm, that all the beautiful women who are “justifiably rejecting all the losers”, would still date him, and reject the rest of us, if he were single.
There is almost zero difference between that attitude and radical feminism.
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[…] read through blog posts from ordinary guys who think straight. Here are two recent examples from Roissy and Dalrock. These are solid gold and you can’t find anything like this in the […]
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Hahahahaha. Thanks for the laugh. Makes me LOL that people like you still exist. You’re a dying breed…
GDIAF.
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Jessica, and when they’re all dead, and your descendants, if you have any, live in a Mad Max world, they’ll blame women like you for the death of civilization.
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@Morsellaux
“what, once a while I do, I have a nice scar on my chin and when I put on an eye patch and limp a tad, I am irresistible! My last semi-perm female thought it’s cute (the white fuzz). But she was not 23, alas! ;-)”
Morsellaux, so is that your real pic?
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what, yea, with a fuzz on. I have somewhere a pic with a fuzz off, but been a while (like 15 years) and not sure where it is. When I get the fuzz off again (which would prolly make me look 10+ years younger), I’ll replace, promise.
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morsellaux is that you?
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@Morsellaux
@namae nanka
“morsellaux is that you?”
lol!!! That’s my reason for visiting this blog…you all are sooo funny! WE can’t always take ourselves so seriously!
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let me add….and take others so seriously too.
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That’s the plan, Nic. 😉
I can see it now. Some small band of survivors, camping out, running out of food, when the raiders/plague/zombies come for them, they’ll be screaming:
“Goddamn those 21st century women! If only they’d had more hawt submissive sex and worried about their looks more, we’d never be in this mess!!”
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[…] The Problem With Women… Related Posts:The glory of post-Christian AmericaI don’t think the problem is Facebook, […]
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Jessica, I see that you’re new here.
If you have the brains and the will to pull your head out of the hive’s ass, you’ll be fine. If you don’t then it’s pointless for me to try to save you.
You’d be surprised how much being a bit more submissive towards the good men in your life, and caring a bit more about your looks will change your situation as well as your outlook.
…but that’s not even close to all there is to this.
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namae nanka
morsellaux is that you?
Nope, I am not so epic. I try to keep my soup catcher short.😉
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Hi Roissy.
I think an important note is that women don’t have higher ‘self-esteem’ per se: they don’t truly love themselves, they don’t deep down believe that they deserve good things.
Instead, they have a lofty self-*image*, which they must chase and strive and put in great efforts to secure.
It is narcissistic, rather than truly knowing they are ok and well-loved (which results in humility).
Little girls should always be loved 100%, but be careful when you ‘puff them up’ and have them beat their chest (this is precisely what was done to our generation)… because not only do you grant them a lofty self-image, you also unconsciously implant the feeling that they are not *implicitly* okay.
It is ultimately the result of a culture and mythology of external salvation, rather than one of inherent goodness (which is what we had 300+ years ago, and it is that from which we are in decline).
Jack
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-11341566
I wonder if the woman had hit the man would the outcome be different?
Probably not.
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[…] – “Why the Elites Prop Up the Blank Slate“, “The Problem with Women is Too Much Self-Esteem“, “Why You Should Incinerate Your Used Condoms“, “Why Sluts Make Bad […]
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True. This is why I expatted. American women are insufferable with their huge egos. They think they are god’s gift to men. They speak and speak bullshit while thinking they are dropping pearls of wisdom. They are masculine, obnoxious, fat, shallow, delusional and rude.
Believe me guys: you have not known how a (sane) woman is until you have visited a foreign country. Immigrants don’t count because they adapt quickly to the gynocentric American culture.
Go out of the Western world for a holiday and interact with normal women there (stay away from tourist places, whose women are heavily Americanized). You will have the impression that foreign girls and American girls are from different animal species.
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Let me try to resolve one confusion I see coming up in the comments: Women have a very good sense even early on — perhaps by the end of junior high school — regarding where they rank on the 0-10 physical attractiveness scale.
One might even argue that one of the social functions of junior high school is to give young women this calibration, because it’s so very basic. Almost all women are certainly clued in exactly where they fall by the time they gradiate high school.
I investigated this systematically and quite thoroughly, and am certain of the results. Most women were within +/- 1/2 pt on their self-estimation versus their objective, measurable physical attractiveness, and there wasn’t any systematic bias (difference from zero) compared to the width of the bell curve. Only outliers were deluded by much more than a point. Maybe some people have a knack for turning up the outliers.
Now of course how one plays it in public and with other people is another matter. Many do seem susceptible to flattery (especially of the public variety) telling them they deserve to be treated like a 10 irregardless. (They call this “being a gentleman”…) This is where the “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” myth serves its purpose. But it’s essentially running a bluff, and it’s not difficult to suppose women have to be aware of this on some level. It’s one more way they select for chumps. It may be proper to call and raise, but each hand is a little different.
Anyway, I don’t disagree with the general idea that society goes way out of its way to build females up. Mostly this is because criticism of them hasn’t been allowed, so all one hears is the good half of things — i.e., there’s no difference between men and women, except for all the ways that women are better than men. I guess we gotta do what we can to help the weak and fragile, though I forget why.
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””””nothingbutthetruth
True. This is why I expatted. American women are insufferable with their huge egos. They think they are god’s gift to men. They speak and speak bullshit while thinking they are dropping pearls of wisdom. They are masculine, obnoxious, fat, shallow, delusional and rude.
Believe me guys: you have not known how a (sane) woman is until you have visited a foreign country. Immigrants don’t count because they adapt quickly to the gynocentric American culture.
Go out of the Western world for a holiday and interact with normal women there (stay away from tourist places, whose women are heavily Americanized). You will have the impression that foreign girls and American girls are from different animal species.
”””’
Night and day. Fake empowered vs real empowered.
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[…] Our culture wants to do the exact opposite for girls. Roissy may have a point when he says women have too much self esteem. At least some women […]
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[…] knock her bloated opinion of herself down a few […]
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Martian, didn’t you post the exact same thing in the post about Self-Esteem a couple of weeks ago?
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[…] normal chicks in their primes is not their low self-esteem; just the opposite — it’s their HIGH self-esteem. All these toadies tripping over themselves to “like” girls’ Facebook photos and […]
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A point that is not often recognized: to attract male attention females in the animal world do male things, e.g. bulling in cows. The cocky behavior of woman is what they perceive as attractive (to them) and it serves as an instinctive test of the men that interact with her, will they submit or be the man.
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[…] the battle of bedding hot girls (hot is the operative word here) is lowering their value, and, yes, their self-esteem, below […]
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[…] the battle of bedding hot girls (hot is the operative word here) is lowering their value, and, yes, their self-esteem, below […]
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