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Soliciting responses (self.MGTOW)

chandrajohnson1208 が 投稿

Hi there,

I'm a reporter with a weekly national publication based in Utah. I'm writing a story about an anthropological theory about why young men seem to be "opting out" of their "traditional" social behaviors, ie, becoming fathers or being "providers," etc.

In my research I found the MGTOW movement and I find it fascinating. This might be a mistake given the nature of Reddit, but I'm wondering if anyone might be willing to respond to this post to answer this question:

This may differ for everyone, but what expectations placed on the male gender do you specifically object to and why?

I ask this out of genuine curiosity and in the spirit of trying to shine a light on this issue, not to be flip. I'd love to hear any response this group might have and thanks!

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[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm in my 40s, divorced, and have kids, so I'm not sure I fit your demographic. But I'll answer anyway.

I tried the father and husband route. Lived cheaply so we could afford to live in a decent area on one income so she could stay home with the kids. Advanced myself through online classes and reading. Doubled my income in 10 years to over 6 figures.

During that time, she sat on the couch and did nothing. Barely cooked, never cleaned. When the kids were in school full time, this didn't change. She ran up over $35,000 in credit card debt on things we didn't need. She said she would arrange payment of bills, and managed to keep my credit score low until I found out and took back control of paying bills.

When I was looking to divorce, everyone I talked to acted as if I was being unreasonable. Especially women, they assumed I was looking to trade her in for a newer younger model. No, I was tired of being taken advantage of. I was tired of knowing she was playing Facebook games all day while the kids were in school. I was tired of coming home to a disgusting house and being told I needed to clean more because she was "busy" doing nothing all day. I was tired of getting takeout several times a week, because she didn't bother to cook, because the dishes were still dirty from the previous week.

When she demanded I do more housework, I told her I would do it if she got a job. She claimed she was too busy to work. I used to work from home and got to see how "busy" she was sleeping on the couch, while she claimed she was cleaning.

I am lucky that I got a fairly reasonable divorce, but I still have given her over $100k over the past few years while she sat in her new house doing nothing. She still blames me for the way she keeps her new house, despite the fact that I have never lived there.

The biggest problem with all this is the idea that I was unreasonable and that all the problems were my fault. Everyone ran to her to comfort her and absolve her of everything she did. I was unreasonable. I was the asshole. How dare I keep her at home! No, that was what we discussed before the wedding, that is what she agreed to.

After the divorce, I dated some women, and most of them had hidden their major issues. Huge IRS debts, violence, drug problems, etc. I decided this is too much trouble, and given how things are going in many parts of the world (man gets thrown in jail for months for walking near a woman in a subway, men getting thrown out of college for rape despite getting cleared in court, etc.) women just aren't worth it.

[–]JStheHammer 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh look another journalist that's going to write a factually incorrect article about us.

Every popular press article about mgtow in the last year, started with a request just like yours and a promise to be neutral. Instead we see nothing but factually incorrect hit pieces. No thanks.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

So you're saying she's going to turn my story into me being a complete asshole for daring to assume a woman is going to keep her promise after the wedding to be an equal partner in the marriage, and work just as hard as I am?

[–]Chittybanger 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should read all of the sidebar material. It's a good introduction to find out what MGTOW is all about.

There has been an increase in articles written about MGTOW lately and they are always filled with misconceptions about us.

Some of these include.. -that we are against having sexual relationships (not true) -we are lonely virgins living in our parents basement (not true, many of us have been married before and saw firsthand how shitty of a deal it is for men) -that we are some kind of social justice movement (Also not true. We have no interest in trying to reform our laws or change society. We have just decided to check out and live our lives the way we want, without trying to live up to societies expectations of us).

You should also contact the moderators of this subreddit. I'm sure they would be more than happy to discuss our lifestyle with you.

As far as my answer to your question...

I want more out of this life than to spend a lifetime of indentured servitude to some woman. Society acts like the purpose of a man's life should be to find some woman to marry and then provide for her and whatever kids she pops out.

Early feminism fought to give women the right to have options. They could chose to be a mother and raise a family, or they could instead focus on a career and pursuing their dreams. Whenever a woman today decides to follow the career oriented path she is praised and encouraged. People talk about how strong and independent she is and say she has courage to follow a different path.

But for some reason, when a man today decides to do the same thing (opt out of marriage and instead focus on living his life the way that makes him happy) , we are shamed and ridiculed. People call us selfish, say we need to grow up and be responsible. Society mocks us for going our own way.

Why is that? That is the question you should be asking when you write your article. Why is it men's responsibility to provide for women. Doesn't our happiness and well being matter just as much as a woman's? Are we nothing more to society than disposable work horses that are intended to provide resources to women?

That's not what I want for my life.. I want something more.