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badhistory

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Wondering Wednesday topic October 5th: Conspiracy theories in history

Badhistory is a place to facepalm and discuss the particularly dire sorts of history that we encounter on a day-to-day basis. Although we primarily focus on Reddit, history from anywhere is welcome whether it's from school, tv, books, real life conversations, movies, or anything else.
Badhistory is a place to equally learn, and have a good time, with both serious and silly topics!

BADHISTORY BEST OF!

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Rule 2: Do NOT discuss politics within 20 years.
Rule 3: Obvious conspiracy theories should be posted to /r/topmindsofreddit.
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  1. A quote from the person or group perpetrating the badhistory. No link dumping allowed.
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submitted by deathleaperThe Chair Leg of Truth is Wise and Terrible
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all 102 comments
[–]TurnshroudThe Cyrus Cylinder? More like Cyrus' fleshlight. 33 points34 points35 points  (14 children)
Oh fun. Let's say randonm things and attribute them tothe the fall of Rome. You know what i think brought around the fall of the Roman Empire? Togas.
[–]PlowbeastKnows the true dark history of AutoModerator 29 points30 points31 points  (7 children)
Today I learned feminists have the power of time travel.
[–][deleted] 39 points40 points41 points  (38 children)
~5 century AD: The Empire is ruled by an elite of military men that use the Emperor as a puppet; due to massive debts and financial problems, the Empire cannot afford to hire foreign mercenaries to defend itself (Roman citizens have long ago being replaced by mercenaries in the army), and starts “selling” parts of the Empire in exchange for protection. Eventually, the mercenaries figure out that the “Emperor has no clothes”, and overrun and pillage the Empire.
wat
humanity falls back into the Bronze Age (think: eating squirrel meat and living in a cave); 12 centuries of religious zilotry (The Great Inquisition, Crusades) and intellectual darkness follow: science, commerce, philosophy, human rights become unknown concepts until they are rediscovered again during the Age of Enlightenment in 17th century AD.
oh buddy
Mercenaries (UN peacekeepers, bribed warlords, arm-twisted allies, recent unassimilated immigrants, and the desperate, poor and out of shape) now make up a larger part of the tip of the spear that projects American power. America is in the process of slow-motion selling off of the Southwest to appease the millions of peasant illegals it cavalierly allowed to invade and settle in the country.
wow what a dick
~3-4 century AD Rome = 2000-2010 America. (You’ll notice America’s progression through the stages of empire is much faster than was Rome’s. This is the blessing — or curse — of high tech mass communication.) The native stock of America, (specifically, the betters of that stock), have stopped having kids. Vice and corruption are on the rise. (See: Chicago, CRA, Goldman Sachs, neocon lies, Enron, Madoff… I could go on.) Economic and political instability are the order of the day. While America’s presidents aren’t being assassinated, our elections have been nailbiters since 2000, and partisanship is at a fevered pitch. A reborn religion called Islam threatens to co-opt the sympathies of Western societies’ rootless rejects and masculinized women. Except for the thinnest upper class slice, betters now ape the habits of their lessers.
ok so this was ALL pretty fucking stupid but this part made me want to claw my eyes out. Since the adoption of the anti-crash measures instituted post 1929, haven't we had around a fifth as many financial meltdowns as prior to the Great Depression?
Also, I have a really hard time understandign the conflation of (I'm assuming) radical Islam and "masculine women". Because Islamic extremists are very accepting of feminism/masculine women? how can you even act like the two "movements" are allied in any way?
1970-2000 America. The scourge of single momhood, free and easy divorce, child support laws, majority female colleges, DADT repealed, gay marriage, game, etc etc ad infinitum.
DADT was repealed way past 2000 and we still don't have gay marriage legalized nationwide (beyond the tax accounting) let alone in even 1/3 of the states. This is stupid and this guy is really trying so desperately to make an analogy where there really isn't one.
this entire blogpost is pretty pathetic, made more so by the fact that this incompetent didn't even write it, but is just farming Reddit for replies. What a laughable attempt at analogy and historical analysis.
[–]alynnidalarThere needs to be cooked is the rice. - /u/badhistory_ss 27 points28 points29 points  (25 children)
Another Rome == America post! Why is everybody so obsessed with it? I guess just because it's the only part of history people have heard of.
e: also, I am really getting sick of the whole Dark Ages nonsense. Squirrel meat? Really?
[–]neohellpoet 23 points24 points25 points  (0 children)
Even forgetting about China, India and the Islamic states, the Byzantines are just sitting there going: "Hey dipshit, we're here. One whole half of the Roman Empire, arguably the better half. Still doing the whole advanced civilization thing and will continue to do so for a 1000 years."
Also: "Hey my Germanic brothers, let us quit with this iron and steel stuff we have bean using for so long and go back to broze for reasons!"
[–]farquierFeminazi christians burned Assurbanipal's Library 14 points15 points16 points  (3 children)
I mean, they gravely insulted the Bronze Age. As if we Elamites are a bunch of cave-dwelling savages just because we happen to have some mountains around us!
[–]Aeetlrcreejlhitler destroyed mesopotamian civilization 13 points14 points15 points  (2 children)
booooooo elam go home you just wish you had as much civilization as us babylonians waves middle finger around
[–]Urban-Dictionary-Bot 4 points5 points6 points  (1 child)
I found 2 words/phrases defined by Urban Dictionary in this comment!

go home: 1. Used to inform someone of their inability to handle the current situation. 2. To refrain from speech. 3. To get the hell out.
*You can't pimp on that girl Eric, go home. *

babylonians: see babylons, ~> a whole mountain range of breasts
"i'd love to stroll accross her babylonians"

If you have any questions about me, you can message me or post on /r/UrbanDictionaryBot.
[–]lysergic_asshole 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
I feel like this wasn't the greatest idea for a bot.
[–]fingerhands 12 points13 points14 points  (0 children)
Because Rome was literally the only empire that matters and all European history since has been attempts to be the New/Third/whatever Rome
[–]jschooltigerOn an internal Foucauldian mini-rant 12 points13 points14 points  (6 children)
Squirrel isn't half bad. (Source: I lived in the Ozarks)
[–]hussard_de_la_mortSanta Ana killed David Bowie 8 points9 points10 points  (5 children)
Out of curiosity, what did it taste like?
[–]jschooltigerOn an internal Foucauldian mini-rant 14 points15 points16 points  (4 children)
Chicken.
Ok, not really. It was gamey, a bit like rabbit.
[–]ANewMachine615 4 points5 points6 points  (3 children)
So, weird question, but as someone who's only ever eaten the basic meats, with the odd buffalo burger, wtf sort of taste is "gamey"?
[–]jschooltigerOn an internal Foucauldian mini-rant 9 points10 points11 points  (0 children)
It's a little hard to describe, but think of it like earthy or musty. If you've ever had a mushroom sauce with meat that approximates it.
[–]lord_allonymous 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
It's hard to describe if you've never tasted it, but it's almost like the meat is naturally seasoned.
[–]longooglite 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
If you could imbue meat with some fishiness, you would have gamey meat. At least, that's how I think of it.
[–]skulgnome 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
It's because in Latin, "gladius" means not just the sword but also the penis. Which, as we all know, shoots seeds.
[–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 4 points5 points6 points  (4 children)
Squirrels are rather sinewy. Pretty tasty :D
Rome = America is really bizarre given the ENTIRE 1600 year difference.
[–]TurnshroudThe Cyrus Cylinder? More like Cyrus' fleshlight. 10 points11 points12 points  (3 children)
Wait, if America is Rome that means...D: the Senate assassinated JFK! Note the active political family, and the J. Also presumably Ametica has had a large privatized army at some ppint...or still does and we'll only see swe an era of peace when we get our first emperor
[–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 10 points11 points12 points  (2 children)
TIL JFK was Caesar Augustus and the CIA is the Praetorian Guard.
[–]tobbinatorFrancisco Franco, Caudillo de /r/Badhistory 7 points8 points9 points  (0 children)
Imperator Kennedus Augustus Caesar
[–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
Best part? Two mismatched eras.
[–]elos_Literally the Treaty of Versailles 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
Honestly, I feel America has better ties to the "downfall" of the UK. Massive world power, #1 in the world for all intents and purposes both economically and militarily at its peak, so on and so forth. The UK's empire "collapsed" but it wasn't some calamity like the Roman Empire's collapse. The UK is still a top military power and a top economic power in the world, but it's just not #1. It's not bad but it's just not great either.
My armchair analysis thinks this is a far more likely course of action. We may splinter into different countries at some point or we may not, but I think it's far more likely we get replaced at the "top" by people like China or Germany or even India or something and we simply just become another country that's just kind of there.
Maybe I'm wrong though because I'm fucking stupid. I'd love for someone smarter than me to give some input on this though.
[–]SadDoctorDocumenting Gays Since Their Creation in 1969 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Squirrel ain't bad
(Comment deleted or removed) [–][deleted]  (3 children)
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    (Comment deleted or removed) [–][deleted]  (3 children)
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      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points  (3 children)
      America is in the process of slow-motion selling off of the Southwest to appease the millions of peasant illegals it cavalierly allowed to invade and settle in the country.
      Hmmm, I must have been asleep for the last twenty three years of my life. I seem to have missed when the US started selling the southwest to Hispanic immigrants.
      Seriously though, what does that even mean?
      [–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 10 points11 points12 points  (0 children)
      Our version of the Gaulic, Germanic and Hunnic invasion is by Hispanic immigrants.
      I for one welcome our party hard neighbors and soon to be overlords if his predictions are correct.
      [–]smileymanYou know who's buried in Grant's Tomb? Not the fraud Grant. 4 points5 points6 points  (1 child)
      Apparently it means we're allowing whites to become a minority in the Southwest--only it's not true.
      In only three Southwestern states are whites a minority (California, New Mexico, and Texas). In two of those states (California and Texas) they're still the single largest ethnic group. It's only in New Mexico that whites are truly a minority.
      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
      I just don't understand how that's supposed to be the same as "selling' away the southwest. Someone clearly doesn't understand how commerce works.
      [–]JBfan88Lincoln did nothing wrong 6 points7 points8 points  (1 child)
      I like how in his mind human rights were not only 'discovered', but 'rediscovered' by the enlightenment.
      [–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
      Enlightened and re-enlightened I suppose?

      More from r/badhistory

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      Comments, continued...

      [–]eighthgearOh, Allemagne-senpai! If you invade me there I'll... I'll-!!! 34 points35 points36 points  (11 children)
      Odoacer was probably an SRS mod.
      Material wealth is astounding, citizens (i.e.: non slaves) do not need to work.
      Yeah, all those non-slave farmers were just farming for fun, they totally didn't need to or anything. Soldiers joined the legions for fun, craftsmen made shit for fun. It was all fun.
      Romans enjoy the arts and philosophy; they know and appreciate democracy, commerce, science, human rights, animal rights, children rights and women become emancipated.
      Holy shit. What.
      What.
      "Human rights". Um, OK, the Romans did have some notions of human rights, and the Roman legal code reflects this. However, "human rights" is a vague phrase, and would have meant something to the Romans that is quite different than the modern meaning.
      "Animal rights". WHAT. Rome is literally famous for bloodsport. I don't think forcing exotic beasts to fight for show is a shining example of "animal rights", a very modern notion.
      children rights and women become emancipated.
      No, they didn't. Children and women were still subservient to their fathers/husbands in the family unit.
      humanity falls back into the Bronze Age (think: eating squirrel meat and living in a cave); 12 centuries of religious zilotry (The Great Inquisition, Crusades) and intellectual darkness follow: science, commerce, philosophy, human rights become unknown concepts until they are rediscovered again during the Age of Enlightenment in 17th century AD.
      Oh my fucking god. This makes me angry. That people read this and believe it makes me angry. It is wrong on so many levels.
      1. It is fucking Eurocentric. There are places not in Europe (and some places in Europe - you know, that thing called the Eastern Roman Empire) that flourished in the Middle Ages. The Near East, China, India, etc.
      2. It is fucking stupid, even from the perspective of European history. The idea that Europeans did jack shit for the entire Middle Ages is outdated. Many key advances were made in the era. Europe was less orderly than it once was, but people weren't just "eating squirrel meat" and were certainly not all living in caves.
      3. It is fucking stupid, from the perspective of history as a whole. For a start, you can't say humans went back to the Bronze Age, because, you know, they had iron and all that jazz. Also, the Bronze Age itself was not just people eating squirrel meat and living in caves. The Great Pyramids of Giza? That's a piece of Bronze Age architecture. The palace of Knossos? Bronze Age. Old Babylon? Bronze Age. I could go on. The Bronze Age was home to many very advanced societies. Frankly, some medieval European regions would envy the level of organization that was present in Minoan Crete, for example.
      [–][deleted] 26 points27 points28 points  (3 children)
      Hey breh I'm pretty sure the Catholic Church said we had to ignore technology because something straw man, LOL feels good being brave enough to be an atheist.
      [–]khosikuluadhomomnom attacker 7 points8 points9 points  (2 children)
      Better than being a zilot, whatever the fuck that is.
      [–]eighthgearOh, Allemagne-senpai! If you invade me there I'll... I'll-!!! 5 points6 points7 points  (1 child)
      A zealot pilot, perhaps?
      [–]khosikuluadhomomnom attacker 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
      More than a zilittle, that's for sure.
      [–]kourtbardSocial Justice Berserker 15 points16 points17 points  (3 children)
      Or consider the multitude of indigenous cultures of North, Central, and South America. Like the Inca, Maya, Aztec, Mississippian, Pueblo for example, they used stone-age technology, but they didn't live in caves and ate squirrels, they were agrarian cultures that built cities and temples, held complex, and in some cases very stratified caste systems. The Maya developed their own written language.
      [–]farquierFeminazi christians burned Assurbanipal's Library 9 points10 points11 points  (2 children)
      eh, i'd go farther and say all urbanized Mesoamerican societies had some form of writing.
      [–]kourtbardSocial Justice Berserker 5 points6 points7 points  (1 child)
      Probably, or a mnemonic system. But the Maya were one of a handful of cultures to ever successfully develop a written language independently.
      [–]farquierFeminazi christians burned Assurbanipal's Library 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
      I'd call all the central Mexican scripts writing. Also epi-olmec anyone?
      [–]ANewMachine615 6 points7 points8 points  (1 child)
      It is fucking Eurocentric. There are places not in Europe (and some places in Europe - you know, that thing called the Eastern Roman Empire) that flourished in the Middle Ages. The Near East, China, India, etc.
      There has to be a better word than merely "eurocentric" for this. I mean... Occi-eurocentric? Like guys if you're just not going to pay attention to anything east of Italy, you're not even Eurocentric anymore because if you were, your hugely limited world view could still comprehend some subtlety.
      [–]CroGamer002Pope Urban II is the Harbinger of your destruction! 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
      Centereuro-centric?
      [–]Dracopelta 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
      It's History Lite. It won't give you any better understanding of how people centuries ago lived, but it will make you feel superior to them.
      [–]farquierFeminazi christians burned Assurbanipal's Library 14 points15 points16 points  (1 child)
      humanity falls back into the Bronze Age (think: eating squirrel meat and living in a cave)
      Well, I mean, if you want my cousin in Hattuša can find you a perfectly good job.
      [–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
      We all know the Hittites were a front made by the joos. Middle eastern cultures could NEVER have made complex cities. Or be civilized.
      Y'know, outside of Mesopotamia, Egypt...oh....
      [–]Das_Mime/~\ *Feeling eruptive* 12 points13 points14 points  (11 children)
      [–]TurnshroudThe Cyrus Cylinder? More like Cyrus' fleshlight. 5 points6 points7 points  (9 children)
      Wow, that is a lot of reasons, some of them are rather...interesting. Is that satirical/pointing out weird things people blame it on, or is that real? If the later, I'd love to see explanations of each, or some anyway
      edit: lack of rainfall? What?
      [–]Das_Mime/~\ *Feeling eruptive* 8 points9 points10 points  (8 children)
      Pretty sure it's just a list of things that have been blamed for the fall of Rome. There are quite a number of mutually contradictory items on that list.
      [–]twentypercentcoolNever any bad history about Dreadnoughts 6 points7 points8 points  (5 children)
      There are quite a number of mutually contradictory items on that list.
      I think there's only one even valid answer (villa economy)on that damn list and its right by the bottom. Seriously some one somewhere considers Jewish influence, loss of "Nordic character" or Socialism to be actual reasons for the fall of the Western Roman Empire!
      [–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 7 points8 points9 points  (4 children)
      Apathy interpreted weirdly could be a potential answer. And the Germanic and Hunnic invasions were indeed catalysts. But I can see how hilarious some of the things were.
      Bolshevization gets me every time.
      [–]twentypercentcoolNever any bad history about Dreadnoughts 3 points4 points5 points  (3 children)
      I didn't even see those up top, there's far too much crazy to pick through. Seriously, Bolshevism?
      [–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 4 points5 points6 points  (2 children)
      Dude, bread and circuses. My choice ones:
      Cosmopolitanism, Capitals, change of, Disarmament (dat Roman Nuclear Power), Fear of Life, Female Emancipation, Gout, Immoderate greatness (er...), Jewish Infleuence, Lack of Male Dignity, Lack of seriousness, Lead poisoning, loss of energy (thermodynamics, the bane of all empires), loss of instincts (explains the roman dogs), Mercury damage, Paralyzation, Racial Suicide, Socialism (Bolsheviks man), Structural weakness (It's more fun to imagine this as the Roman Empire literally collapsing upon itself), Two-front war, Useless Eaters.
      This seems to be a summation of the fall of Nazi German, Imperial Russia and the Roman Empire.
      [–]fingerhands 4 points5 points6 points  (1 child)
      Mandracius, do you realize that in addition to mercuriating water, why, there are studies underway to mercuriate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandracius, children's ice cream.
      [–]TurnshroudThe Cyrus Cylinder? More like Cyrus' fleshlight. 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
      Oh good.
      In that case, wow O_o
      [–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
      Need to fond more empires destroyed.in part by useless eaters.
      [–]CroGamer002Pope Urban II is the Harbinger of your destruction! 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
      Slavic attacks
      How in the world?
      Slavs didn't even enter history books, when Western Roman Empire fallen.
      [–]Georgy_K_ZhukovLend Lease? We don't need no stinking 'Lend Lease'! 11 points12 points13 points  (4 children)
      Description please...?
      [–]deathleaperThe Chair Leg of Truth is Wise and Terrible[S] 22 points23 points24 points  (3 children)
      Sorry, should have followed up sooner. Basically this guy is a hardcore MRA/RedPill whacko, and this is a blog post of his citing a post blaming feminism, the (relatively) recent social and philosophical concept, for the fall of the Roman Empire in the west 1500 years ago. He, (or more specifically, the post he cites) make a series of amazingly bad historical comparisons between the history of Rome and that of the United States, in an attempt to show how feminist values corrupted and eventually led to the downfall of the former, and that an identical process is currently at work in the latter.
      Choice bits!
      Regarding the period following the collapse:
      humanity falls back into the Bronze Age (think: eating squirrel meat and living in a cave); 12 centuries of religious zilotry (The Great Inquisition, Crusades) and intellectual darkness follow: science, commerce, philosophy, human rights become unknown concepts until they are rediscovered again during the Age of Enlightenment in 17th century AD.
      Regarding Babylon, another proud civilization destroyed by the evil feminists:
      They had child support laws (which seems to indicate that there was a family breakdown), and they collapsed presumably due to a “moral breakdown” figuratively represented in the Bible as the “Tower of Babel” (which was inspired by a real tower). Interesting and controversial anecdote: some claim that the Roman Catholic Religion is nothing more than a rewriting and adaptation of an ancient Babylonian religion!
      Some of his 'comparisons'
      ~5 century BC Rome = ~1700 – 1920 America. The family unit is essentially “father knows best”, and slutting around by women is considered the height of shameful behavior, (as is cadding about by men). Monogamy is held up as the ideal arrangement without exception. (The “Wild West” might be an exception to the general rule of the day, as whoring and hell-raising were widespread in the frontier.) Lessers look up to their betters as exemplars of moral rectitude.
      ~1-2 century AD Rome = 1970-2000 America. The scourge of single momhood, free and easy divorce, child support laws, majority female colleges, DADT repealed, gay marriage, game, etc etc ad infinitum. In short, the ultimate expression of anti-discrimination, anti-received wisdom, individualist ideology, (ironically buttressed by the groupthink of diversity mongers.) Lessers ignore their betters, who in turn renege on their traditional responsibility to act as examples for the lessers.
      [–]Georgy_K_ZhukovLend Lease? We don't need no stinking 'Lend Lease'! 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
      Danke!
      [–]whitesockColumbus was literally Columbus 26 points27 points28 points  (7 children)
      Whenever /r/TumblrInAction makes me angry about the direction some third wave feminists took their feminism, I look at redpill-ish MRAs like this guy. What a beautiful pile of crap.
      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points  (2 children)
      Nah bro you don't get it historically women have been servants to men, while men invented important stuff. can't argue with history bro sorry dawg.
      [–]alynnidalarThere needs to be cooked is the rice. - /u/badhistory_ss 16 points17 points18 points  (1 child)
      It's like, if women were as smart as men, why haven't they invented so many things? Checkmate, dude. Clearly men are superior beings.
      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points  (0 children)
      Number of female presidents: 0
      Checkmate, feminists!
      obvious /s
      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
      The "extremist" feminists are a red herring. Yeah they're goofy and annoying, but they have no real political power (unless you consider, say, Hillary Clinton to be an extremist, in which case I can't do nuttin for ya, man)
      [–]AdumbroDeusSaying germs caused historical diseases is presentism! 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
      Checked out that sub and dude, on one hand you have legit things like people on tumblr saying you can culturally appropriate from your own culture as opposed to what you're doing being an expression of your culture, but on the other hand there seems to be a heavy contingent taking issue with even the idea that privilege exists.
      "My professor took pot shots at christinaity" doesn't negate the existence of a lot of advantages that Christians (particularly Protestants) have in American society, including some official. Privilege exists in society, it's that some people see EVERYTHING as an expression of privilege (often neglecting their own privilege when parsing their negative reactions) or worse yet being right but just being assholes about it which creates horrible PR. Unfortunately a lot of SJWs are examples of both, depending on the issue.
      So ya, that sub seems to be a very mixed bag.
      [–]KaghurosJews can't count higher than 6 million -3 points-2 points-1 points  (0 children)
      I'm not sure that should make you less angry about feminism being stolen from the average woman when you're then watching a somewhat-decent political movement get co-opted by radicals right in front of you.
      [–]a_s_h_e_nObama is literally Hitner 10 points11 points12 points  (0 children)
      The comment he links to is pretty Chart-ish too.
      Also, is the US really fundamentally different in 2013 compared to 2010? As in, as different as two separate centuries of Rome.
      One more thing: every single sentiment he expressed made me angry beyond what is simply bad history. What a racist TRPer.
      [–]PlayerNo3President Valentine did nothing wrong. 9 points10 points11 points  (5 children)
      I always love how these type of posts imply you can pick out the specific date Rome fell.
      [–]Danny_the_InternWalder Frey did nothing wrong 5 points6 points7 points  (4 children)
      I think people normally pick out 476 AD because of Romulus Augustulus and whatnot.
      Of course, these are the same people who stick their fingers in their ears and go LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING LA LA LA if you mention the fact that the Eastern Roman Empire was still very much alive at that point
      [–]crazyeddie123 4 points5 points6 points  (3 children)
      Well, they don't count cause they weren't really Roman, and Gibbons says they just stagnated till the Turks finally toppled them
      /s
      [–]smileymanYou know who's buried in Grant's Tomb? Not the fraud Grant. 1 point2 points3 points  (1 child)
      I know I've complained about the horrifically long sentences that Churchill wrote, but Gibbons has him beat by a landslide for sheer lengthiness of a single sentence.
      [–]deathleaperThe Chair Leg of Truth is Wise and Terrible[S] 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
      I'm convinced his publisher paid him by the comma.
      [–]Danny_the_InternWalder Frey did nothing wrong 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
      In all seriousness though, it's a shame that historians like Gibbon have created this thought that "Byzantium wasn't Roman".
      y'know, even though they managed to completely re-conquer the entire Italian peninsula as well as many other formerly Roman territories only 100 years after the "fall of Rome". Fuck yeah Justinian I.
      [–]buy_a_pork_bunWhite people didn't make the Zero 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
      The rest of this guy's posts are a gold mine.of brain damage and hilarity.
      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points  (0 children)
      he's absolutely right, you know.
      the Justinian plague killing possibly ten thousand people a day, malaria beating down everyone who was left, the Visigoth incursion trampling the remains, that shit was nothing compared to feminism.
      [–]JiangZiya 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
      When the bull dykes and Mohamedans gang up, we're all finished I tells ya, finished.
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