PC: 1 my son, 2 my son 3 my son 4 none if your business. And you hit 4 and you get an eness loop of dialogue till you tell her options 1-3. And that's the difference, in NV getting a quest forced on you often made sense in context.

Issues with the dialogue system aren't the same as "forced quests" - and in NV and FO4, only a desire to be forgiving or not to Devs makes forced quests better or worse.

Dialgoue in a RP game like Fallout is always going to make some people unhappy. I didn't like the FO4 system of "everything is pretty much the same" also "we won't tell you what you're gonna say" or even "we won't put ethically consistent replies in the same places" - but it's not like I'm pining for the heavily scripted and often incongruous dialogue of older versions either - like OP said, there's a lot of options you and NPCs simply do not have dialogue for - FO4 'solved' this by making all dialogue nonsensical and preventing the player from breaking its expectations, with decidedly questionable successes.

But your example quest options don't really seem like they're setting a fair standard

You snuck into Nellis, they have you at rocket point.

Sure, that does make sense for a forced quest.

A dude tells you about a bounty and how to collect, you can't unhear that.

You've literally described 75% of quests in FO4. If this was a 'reasonable' forced quest in NV, your standards have changed tons. It's a "kill a fella" fetchquest, forced on the player, because you couldn't avoid hearing that string of dialogue. "You can't unhear that" is a really low bar to be setting.

You wonder into a building and some ghoul says "hey come to the 2nd floor" an the quest says go to the second floor

You enter a building and receive a forced quest. This is reasonable, and FO4 isn't? This is the only way to set a lower bar than "can't unhear that" - and, in fairness, how vast numbers of sidequests in FO3, NV, and FO4 are handed out. You get to a place, have curiosity, get given a quest.

"kill x enemy and clear out settlement.

No, that was the bounty you couldn't unhear. Try the Fallons parking garage if you want someone to tell you to go to the second floor somewhere creepy.

...Seriously, complaining about radiant quests as though they're the only thing in the game is really unreasonable. You're comparing a long-term recurring quest system to the narrative content of NV, while skipping all the narrative content of FO4. Yeah, they can dominate your experience once you've cleared most of the core content and have run a little deep into the endgame - but they're a supplemental system, and not at all the same as what you're comparing them to.

And the DLC you either choose to go on an adventure or you get a bomb collar on your neck or you brain gets removed.

Adventure was kinda dope, if a kinda-forced "HERE BE NATIVES~!" because they made a game in the Mojave. Bomb collar would have been dope, except for the whole forced-quest artificial challenge inventory hijacking - it was a railroaded DLC with very little off-track content. Brain removal was probably the most immersion breaking, silly, experience I've had in the entire franchise - every part of that DLC would have been better suited to Borderlands than to Fallout, and a painfully dull way of forcing the player to run through nearly the full DLC.

Like, there's a lot of missed opportunities in FO4, and that more than anything else resulted in it feeling like a disappointment; but I don't think that any of the older games were any better on forced quests and many were worse for railroading.