I used to think that the ultimate revenge would be to commit some act of violence against someone. Then I learned that the best revenge is living well (chinese proverb) but neither seem to be satisfying to me.

I don't want to be violent because then I will be jailed or worse. I also get no satisfaction of living well because those that do us harm will rarely ever see the error of their ways and come to their senses in some shakabuku moment of enlightenment.

Nowadays, my revenge is taking enjoyment of the inevitable conclusion of a person's bad behavior. I've learned to wait and watch and smile. Some call it Karma, but I think this is different. Even if they live a long life, the suffering that will occur due to old age and a lifetime of drinking or smoking is worse than anything I could do to them. Even killing someone is a much shorter punishment than a life being debilitated.

Case in Point 1

So after my parents died, my uncle took my brother, 2 sisters and me in +he had 3 of his own kids. He was decent for a couple years, but he was a simp, blue pill mangina. He soon married a woman with utter cluelessness and she had 2 kids (9 kids, 1 dog 2 adults) - we were written up in the paper, actually.

Over a minor dispute between my cousin and me, we had a teenage spat. He stole my shoelaces out of my only pair of shoes and wouldn't give them back regardless of my asking him 10 times. I had no shoes to wear to school the next day. He told me to hit him, I barely grazed his face with my fingers and I got into trouble because my cousin was HER kid. (Uncle's new wife)

My uncle punched me in the face and broke my nose (I was 13 and weighed about 130lbs).

I have thought about paying my Uncle back for decades. Recently I thought in his weakened state of being that the strength difference has now been reversed. I should just break his face for him (30 years later).

Believe me, I have mentally rehearsed this in my mind over 50 times and it always ends in me saying, "doesn't seem fair that you are now so weak does it? This is how I felt at 13."

The last 18 months his health has been deteriorating and now he is a shell of a man. He had a minor stroke last year, had severe vertigo and was diagnosed with diabetes. This morning he might have pneumonia, has COPD and will be on dialysis for the rest of his life. He's only 66.

This is my revenge. Nothing. I couldn't have done this type of suffering that he is experiencing - not without serious jail time.

My revenge is to pay attention and watch and enjoy the freak show that happens to them because I did nothing. Much more satisfying. Plus the anticipation is quite entertaining as well.

Same for chicks - I watch, I notice, I laugh when they self-destruct. (Yes, I just went dark)