I used to think that the ultimate revenge would be to commit some act of violence against someone. Then I learned that the best revenge is living well (chinese proverb) but neither seem to be satisfying to me.

I don't want to be violent because then I will be jailed or worse. I also get no satisfaction of living well because those that do us harm will rarely ever see the error of their ways and come to their senses in some shakabuku moment of enlightenment.

Nowadays, my revenge is taking enjoyment of the inevitable conclusion of a person's bad behavior. I've learned to wait and watch and smile.

So after my parents died, I had a relative take my brother, 2 sisters and me in along with his 4 kids. He was decent for a couple years, but he was a simp, blue pill mangina. Soon married a woman with utter cluelessness and she had 2 kids (9 kids, 1 dog 2 adults) - we were written up in the paper, actually.

Over a minor dispute between my cousin and me, we had a teenage spat. He stole something of mine (shoelaces) and wouldn't give them back. I had no shoes to wear to school the next day. He told me to hit him, I barely grazed his face with my fingers and I got into trouble because he was HER kid.

My uncle punched me in the face and broke my nose (I was 13 and weighed about 130lbs).

I have thought about paying my Uncle back for decades. Recently I thought in his weakened state of being that the strength difference has been reversed and that I should just break his face for him. (30 years later). Believe me, I have mentally rehearsed this in my mind over 50 times and it always ends in me saying, "doesn't seem fair that you are now so weak does it. This is how I felt at 13."

The last 18 months his health has been deteriorating and now he is a shell of a man. He has had a stroke, severe vertigo and this morning he might have pneumonia and will be on dialysis for the rest of his life. He's only 66.

This is my revenge. Nothing. I couldn't have done to him what is resulting in this type of debilitation - not without serious jail time.

There was a guy that did a wrong to me 8 years ago, he smokes everyday. I decided 2 years ago that I couldn't beat him bad enough to make him die from emphysema. He's close to it.

My revenge is to pay attention and watch and enjoy the freak show that happens to them because I did nothing. Much more satisfying. Plus the anticipation is quite entertaining as well.

Same for chicks - I watch, I notice, I laugh when they self-destruct.