To be honest I had been MGTOW for all my life. It might have started when I was a kid - I was kind of cute, physically active and I had been accosted by older girls all the time. It was frustrating because they were boring and I didn't want to do anything with them and I couldn't relate. It lasted until I was 14 and acne started and I broke my hand, got internet and started playing online games like crazy.

Then I focused on math/programming. I might have had few crushes maybe had some fantasy to get laid but generally I didn't want to do anything with majority of women.

I got a bit infuriated about sexual experiences of my friends - not once I had been mocked that I'm scared of women/that I'm a loser because I was a virgin etc - well jokes on them because I focused on my career when they were partying - now most of them are working some mediocre jobs going blue pill(being providers and manipulated by LTRs)/getting married etc.

For past 3 years I had been browsing /r/foreveralone - I could relate a bit because I was loveshy myself. But I couldn't understand their frustration, why would you be sad that you don't have some useless girlfriend? I felt superior to people whose main goal in life was to get wasted and chase some pussy. My role models were people like Newton/Tesla. You can focus on science and your hobbies.

I had my first girlfriend 1.5 years ago - she was cousin of my friends, we got wasted and somehow she found me interesting - although I didn't take care that much of my hygiene. Probably because she saw potential in me, that I was smart and funny. But it only lasted not whole two months, had sex dozen of times and ended after she somehow felt obliged to mention me that she cheated on her sex/CC.

Now I finished best computer science university in my country. Fixed almost all of my mental problems, working nice job and taking care of my appearance and physical condition. I knew about the /r/theredpill for some time but somehow decided to take a look about a month ago. Through that subreddit I found /r/mgtow.

I'm still swallowing the red pill. I like both of these subreddits - because they both focus on self interest and self improvement. I want to be the best version of myself. They helped me a lot to get over oneitis(I started thinking about her again few months ago because I canceled my meds and met her accidently). Besides they teach assertiveness and not letting other abuse you/being pushover. I always had problems with saying no.

I might get laid few times in a future but whatever. I don't really care - I just would like to kill all sexual memories of my ex.

Peace.