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Posted on TRP want both sides (self.TheBluePill)

Bdino17 が 投稿

I've been in and out of the TRP community. I dropped in here n there when my LTR started last October. As a 22 year old male my sex drive was thru the roof. Her on the other hand was present but low. I initiated all of the contact, was denied slightly under half the time. And the times we got the ball rolling I felt like she was doing it out of pity. I pulled what I'm realizing now was a major beta move and had the "I want you to want me talk"... only to make matters worse. Here I am 11 months deep: getting frustrated by the more occurring denials of sexual activity. its so confusing to me because she got around a lot in college until we settled in.( We used to hook up before relationship started as well, coincidentally those were the best hookups when we hadn't started a relationship. ) I haven't been on here since the beginning and hopefully I'm coming to the light. Sorry for my broken grammar and shitty punctuation.

I suppose the answer to my problems is dread game. I'm lacking patience. And wondering if there's more specifics I should be reading. It's been over two weeks since we have done anything. Even the kiss goodbye or hello seem to be absent of her affection. It's quite depressing. I realize I need to get back in the gym. And create more options. Is there a fast track solution or am I hunkering down for a long trip back to success?

If you need more details let me know. Just wanted to make a quick post to get the ball rolling.

--- edit, this originally failed to post due to me being a new member on here. Since this post I've recently ended it with her. Stating my decline in enjoyment and lazy/complacent nature on both ends. I told her she didn't value my time, and I was a convenience and voiced my sexual frustration. Lots of fuck up in the trp approach. As you can tell I'm new to this and good at shooting myself in the foot. However, after voicing all of this she agreed with me. She said she needs to work on herself and get her kinks out. She has to recenter herself. She reassured me many times she would wait for me because she loved me. So I am a bit perplexed on what to do next. She texted me two days after we broke up. It was Monday morning. She wished me the best and that I find new inspiration and defining moments and that she already has so much to share with me about what she's learned from her mistakes... I wished her well and told her it would be better if we don't speak.

That's about all up to speed. If you need more details to asses let me know. Thanks for feedback in advance.

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[–]optimisma 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is not relationship advice.

But seriously, can people not understand why a casual sex relationship operates differently than a romantic relationship? In a casual sex relationship, you only have contact when you both want to have sex, and you therefore get to have sex every time you hang out- stupid human brain makes it seem like you are having sex all the time and that's amazing. Once you get into a romantic relationship, you spend more time together and incorporate more than just sex. Stupid human brain thinks that decreased ratio of sexual time: non-sexual time means that there is less sex and that there is a problem.

In a romantic relationship, there are expectations and social conditions that affect interest in sexual activity. If you have been a shitty partner, mean, distant, abusive, or whatever, your partner will not be interested in sex. Do you want to fuck someone who makes you feel bad about yourself? Only people who have psychological problems get turned on by out-of-bedroom humiliation. Trying to "fix" a relationship (especially a sexual one) by breaking down your partner will only result in a broken partner who is less able to engage in a healthy relationship.

[–]Bdino17[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow. Thank you. Logic truly evades the emotionally inept (me). That was much needed.

[–]bat-hat 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

TRP thinking is truly poisonous. Your girlfriend probably doesn't want you because she can sense your toxic, mysoginist, objectifying mind with your "dread game" and all that bullshit. Anyone who would bring this thinking to a LTR is sick and doesn't deserve pussy.

[–]Bdino17[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

Hey, I didn't state I implemented anything from trp. I was simply trying to see both sides. I'm not sold on either. Just how anyone gets involved into TRP people recommend it. Just like a restaurant you can go but you don't have to have the same opinion. That's all I'm trying to do is gain more point of views. Thanks.

[–]bat-hat 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

If you're asking those women-hating nihilistic freaks for relationship advice you've probably already adopted some of their views. You need to cleanse your mind of this bullshit and stay away.

[–]Bdino17[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Once cleansed. What is your angle on relationships. I'm not being snide. I'm genuinely interested. Im trying to be as of reasonable as possible and yes it does require me ridding myself of these thoughts. But that's also what has driven me to post over here too because in my mind I don't agree with some of their motives.

[–]bat-hat 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think every relationship is different but that you need to strive to be a good, respectful partner to have a good relationship, not try to objectify and manipulate your partner.

I don't have any advice for those in sexless relationships except to get to the bottom of the problem by talking about it, and then do something about it if possible.

I (34m) live with my GF (24) of 1 1/2 years and right now we are very happy. She would not tolerate any red pill bullshit, and that's a good thing.

[–]ilikeyoohoo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Blue Pill isn't a direct counter to Red Pill with some kind of ideology. BP exists solely to mock and ridicule the idiocy that is TRP.

If you're having relationship problems, 99.9% of the time it means you both need to communicate more. Don't buy into the bullshit that as a guy you aren't guided by emotions. Men feel the full spectrum of emotions and need to be able to talk about them with their partners. It's called emotional intelligence and it doesn't contradict being logical in spite of whatever some alleged STEMlogicdudebro tries to tell you.

There are a ton of personal growth and relationship guides that are actually worthwhile. TRP is not one of them. Go spend some time reading TRP posts and comments and try to tell me it isn't absurd.

[–]cynzia 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

As a 22 year old male my sex drive was thru the roof. Her on the other hand was present but low. I initiated all of the contact, was denied slightly under half the time. And the times we got the ball rolling I felt like she was doing it out of pity. I pulled what I'm realizing now was a major beta move and had the "I want you to want me talk"... only to make matters worse. Here I am 11 months deep: getting frustrated by the more occurring denials of sexual activity<<

Other posters already made good points. Also understand that in romantic relationships, the sex will inevitabley decline in frequency due to life, other priorities, and other ways of interacting with each other. There is also a simple hormonal adjustment that happens as well.

If you are the type that "needs" sex "everyday" and expect your partner to be the same, then understand that statistically, there is a very small pool of women that have the libido to do that. Don't bother with mongamous relationships as they will only dissatisfy you and lead you partner to resent you for your demands that "she want to want it". That is very controlling behavior. You cannot make, or expect someone "to want to want xyz".

You may not be cut out for a monogamous relationships if you can't get your libido in line with the statistical mean. That's ok. BUt don't blame women for YOUR biological make-up.

[–]Bdino17[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You bring valid points to the table thank you.

[–]Bdino17[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think I am cut out for monogamous relationships. I guess im coming to terms with her not being attracted to me due to lack of motivation and complacent attitude. We were in the same boat. We agreed it needed to end... but yes your argument is sound. Thank you.