January 20th, 2017

"You can't do this!" Obama shouts out on the hill of the capital mall, clutching the briefcase holding the nuclear launch codes in his hands.

A voice cries out from the chaos! "Restrain him!" The secret service agent nods, "Yes God Emperor Trump." He obeys and holds Obama down as they yank the briefcase from his hands before they carry him off to gitmo to join Hillary.

"Now can we start this already? I got a date with Ivanka in 25 minutes. I'm a very busy man.”

Newly appointed Supreme Court Head Justice Corey Lewandowski, nods and obeys. “God Emperor Trump do you promise to defend America? To defend it's people in each and everyone of our 49 states?” (Alaska having just been ceded to Russia) To uphold our consti-"

He stops remembering the U.S constitution was replaced with Trump's best selling book the Art of the Deal™. "I mean to uphold the Art of The Deal™?"

Trump looks up confused from his Iphone, in the middle of a Tweet. "What? Sure whatever you say... As long as I can have them drone strike that fat pig Rossie O'Donald.”

Before Justice Lewandowski can go on he feels a shock pierce through his body. He screams out and falls to the ground feeling that someone had activated the electrochip planted in the base of his (and every Americans) spine giving him a nasty zap.

He looks up hearing a shrill gremlin like voice "You forgot a part!" The voice seemed to come from some strange pale scaly reptile like creature holding the remote that was used to shock him, he instantly recognizes the creature as Vice President Mike Pence.

Justice Lewandowski tries to catch his breath and says it again. "D-Do you swear to uphold the art of the deal... So help you god.." Mike Pence smiles as Trump half heatedly nods.

Secretary of Labor Chris Christie scampers up to the podium where Trump is sitting. Christie starts to speak, "Master the wall has been completed, we ran out of money even after you got rid of the EPA so we had to use human corpses instead of cement for the last few feet.”

Trump starts to laugh maniacally not even concerned that the whole world is watching the inauguration. “Excellent now no one can stop me!”

“That’s where you’re wrong!” Everyone gasps and looks to the north seeing a tall silhouette standing there. Bernie Sanders steps forward.

Trump hisses and backs away. “You really think you can defeat me old man?” Bernie rips his shirt off revealing a righteous six pack and smiles, “I think I do, but I don’t need to beat you in physical combat. I have these.” He tosses a pile of papers onto the ground in front of Trump. The crowd gasps and someone shouts out.” IT’S THE MISSING EMAILS!”

Trump backs away his face turning white in terror. “W-Where did you get these?” Bernie smiles and points behind him, “From them.” Suddenly Ambassador Stevens, The four dead Americans and Harambee step forward triumphantly. Sanders starts to explain. “I found them chained up in some type of weird gay sex dungeon in Mike Pence's floor of the Trump towers. They told me everything. How you and Hillary teamed up to steal the election. And how they found out about it so you had to fake their deaths. And the missing emails? Each one of those 33,000 emails was actually sent about each of the 33,000 votes I got in Nevada!”

Press Secretary Milo Yiannopoulos jaw drops. Chris Christie pulls of his gimp mask in shock. Rudy Giuliani faints. Newly appointed NSA head Julian Assange looks through the emails and cries out. “My god he’s right! He did really win Nevada! Hillary and Trump teamed up to steal this election from Bernie!”

President Sanders smiles, “That’s not the only thing I’ve discovered. Harambee if you may.” At this gesture, the giant ape pounces on Trump pulling off his mask. Except he wasn’t wearing a mask, or any type of disguise. That is actually how he looks, the orange skin is real!

“But how can a white man have skin that naturally orange?” Ciswhitemaelstorm (Head of the Department of Red Pill) sobs out.

Sanders quickly explains, “Because he’s not a white man, Donald Trump is in actuality Ronaldo Dump, personal friend of George Soros and illegal Mexican alien! When he was talking about Mexicans being rapists and criminals he was talking about himself!” The crowd of brown shirts gasp. One of the angry Rednecks shouts out in a fit of rage. “Get em!” At that moment mariachi band music starts as the crowd chases him all the way back to Mexico, though they themselves end up getting stuck on the other side of the border.

In their absence, Black Lives Matter ends up ending the systematic racism in this country with the help from President Sanders and Vice President Jill Stein. Afterwards, they legalize weed and make Trump University free for all, bankrupting Senior Dump of any of the little money he still had. Once the rich start paying their fair share of taxes the money is used to finally build enough solar and wind clean energy that America is no longer reliant on Big Oil and Tobacco and all the Christians and homophobes then convert to veganism.

The End…