No need to call people names. I am sorry if you feel offended. There is a reason the alternative investment class exists.

Where can I self-direct funds to?

With a self-directed IRA you can direct funds beyond the market into alternative investments, such as, real estate, tax liens, private company stock, partnerships, private mortgage lending, precious metals, intellectual property, foreign currency and private equity.

"Many people are so frustrated with their investment options, high fees and portfolio performance within a company sponsored 401(k). When an employee leaves their employer they can decide to roll their 401k over into a self-directed IRA. Rollovers from 401(k) plans are the most common way to fund a self-directed IRA. A traditional IRA to a self-directed IRA is the second most common way."

From Fidelity's Website