It's high time we discussed the matter of how to tease bitches. It's no exaggeration to say that teasing is the single most fundamental skill that you must master in your quest to become a pussy wizard of hallowed legend. But doing so can be a daunting task, especially if you lack the talent for wordplay or verbal improvisation that teasing often requires.

Fear not. The Sockpuppet has your back.

The truth is, teasing comes down to a simple formula...one which, once you internalize it, will serve as a solid framework for your practice of wordplay, and transform you into a prodigal panty-moistening predator.

The aim of this guide is to teach you this formula at its most fundamental level. From there, you will be able to add your own flairs and flourishes, developing a style that is truly your own.

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Disclaimers

1) There's more to seduction than just teasing.

This guide will cover the verbal aspects of sexual escalation through teasing. But teasing, while certainly important, is not sufficient to get a bitch in bed. You must combine it with the other seduction essentials (such as kino, comfort-building, venue-changing, isolation, etc.) in order to bring home the lay. If all you do is tease and joke, then you're nothing more than a performing monkey, a clown.

Work on all of the fundamentals together, and combine them with teasing to effect solid game.

2) Teasing is best used on girls who don't already feel like they know you.

We all know that bitches have a dualistic mating strategy: they want the Jerkboy Alpha Sperm Donor to squirt a strong baby inside them, and they want a Dependable Beta Money Dispenser to foot the bill for their IKEA nesting instincts. The goal of teasing is to make girls rapidly identify you as the Sperm Donor so you can rustle their beef curtains ASAP. However, this is much harder to accomplish if the bitch has already mentally put you into the Beta category.

You should take this guide as a tutorial on how to quickly escalate towards sex with NEW bitches, or with bitches who haven't seen you in a long time (effectively giving you a clean slate to rebuild your identity). Of course, you could be a fag and use this on your long-time oneitis if you really wanted to - just don't be surprised when she becomes indignant with your sudden attempt to change categories, and the shit tests and shaming start raining down with biblical fury.

3) The hotter you are, the hotter the bitches you can successfully tease.

Sexual escalation from square-one means that first impressions reign supreme. Since humans use visual cues (fitness, fashion, posture, grooming) to make quick judgments, bitches will respond better to teasing if you look good. The higher your SMV, the higher quality of bitches you will permitted to target. The limit comes when she thinks she's better than you. If she thinks she's above you when you when you drop your line, your words will hit a stonewall bitchface - you'll see it. This is a cue that you need to aim for lower targets for now and work on raising your SMV.

That's not to say that all bitches have the correct measure of their own SMV. Bitches can be broken. From time to time you'll run into bitches who are so self-entitled that no one short of George Clooney through a cocaine haze would have a chance. Don't get discouraged if you throw out a practice tease and some lower-level bitch shuts you down. It just means that turbocunt is overestimating herself (pretty common, especially in the West), and you can happily move on to a more well-adjusted prospect. Don't take this shit personally.

4) Never backpedal from a tease.

When you've spent your entire life treating bitches like Fabergé eggs, teasing and negging them may make you feel uncomfortable. You may feel a twinging instinct to smooth off your sick burn with a "just kidding" or some other man-boobed apology.

Do not fucking do this.

A strong man teases a bitch because she's in HIS domain, and he'll do as he likes. And a bitch is okay with being teased by a man she's attracted to because she believes in his power, and his playful repartee is all the assurance she needs to know he's on her side.

Don't ruin your powerplay by checking if she's okay. Women aren't THAT fragile, you fucking sexist. Administer your clam slam with the knowledge that your bitch will be grateful that you're in charge.

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The Fundamentals of Teasing

Principle 1: Speak to women as though they are children - because emotionally, they are.

This should resonate with those of you who work with kids, have kids of your own, grew up with younger siblings, or interact with the kids of your family/friends.

When you speak to a child, they'll typically respond in one of two ways: either they'll grow increasingly excited and engaged, or they'll suddenly disengage into flat-out boredom. The two responses are so dramatic that it's impossible not to see it in their faces and body language. An interested child will smile, face you, fidget, bounce, paw at you, ask you an avalanche of follow up questions, etc. A bored child's expression will become flat, their bodies will droop, their eyes will immediately begin searching for something else to stimulate them, or they'll mutter an unceremonious "...oh" and straight-up walk away from you.

The way a child reacts to your words depends entirely on how you choose to speak with them and answer their questions. If you give them a long-winded fact-filled tirade that eliminates all mystery, they'll get bored. If you entice them with a vague but dramatic image that stimulates their imagination, they'll become captivated and animated.

Why is this?

Well, it's not because kids don't want their questions answered. It's because they have short attention spans and a burning desire to play and learn. Children want to examine new ideas via their imaginations, because fantasy is much more compelling than facts. Facts are the provenance of reality, of responsibility, of adulthood. They're not ready for that now. They want to fill in the unknown gaps with the spectacular.

The same is true of grown women. They have the same small passions and cravings for fantasy that children have - girls just want to have fun. Whether you believe the evopsych explanation for this or not is irrelevant, because you can speak to women as though they are children and observe first-hand that they respond identically to children.

This is why understanding children is a gateway to understanding women. If you can get good at holding the interest of kids, then you're just a short trip away from holding the same power over bitches. There's nothing that dries a vagina faster than a bland deluge of data, and there's nothing that moistens a vagina faster than a vague riposte that lingers on the edge of plausible reality and leans toward exciting fantasy.

Execution: When you're in seduction mode, don't talk to a bitch in pure information as if she were an adult. Instead, tantalize her the way you would a child. Be vague whenever you can, and leave the task of filling in the details to her imagination. She'll always make your stories bigger in her own mind than you could possibly accomplish as a boring fact-slinging braggart.

Principle 2: Use targeted disqualification to create tension and move in the direction of sex.

"Push-pull". It's a term that is nearly as old as the seduction industry itself. It's a classic tactic that builds sexual tension, sets fires to a woman's loins, and fills her little head with more questions than she could ever hope to untangle while on an emotional high. "Does he like me? What is he thinking? Am I winning him over? What's that feeling? Is this love? Oh my god, did I wet myself?"

Teasing is the foundation for creating a frame of push-pull.

A good tease should have several elements:

1) A good tease is an accusation.

Imagine you're a hotshot lawyer, and you're cross-examining this bitch. You've got no evidence against her, just a gut feeling that she's up to no good. If you want to bring this case home, you need to stir up her feelings and get a rise out of her so she admits her crime to the courtroom in a fit of passion. This is the frame of mind you want to adopt when teasing - remorseless, relentless, and in pursuit of righteous lulz.

2) The accusation should be something that is obviously false.

The implausibility of the accusation is what distinguishes a tease from a real criticism.

Example: If you try to tease a gymnast chick by accusing her of being clumsy, she might think you're leveling a serious criticism against her. Clumsiness is a real concern for someone in her trade. Your tease will come off as a mean-spirited exchange of facts. That will make you seem like a hostile, boring sperg with more interest in data than sex.

Instead, accuse the gymnast of being an obvious exhibitionist for enjoying those tight leotards a little toooooo much. Or ask her if spending so much time off the ground technically makes her an "airhead", cuz airheads make the worst girlfriends.

When it's clear the accusation isn't serious, that's the signal to her that you're inviting her to play. And by starting the game with her IMMEDIATELY on the defensive, you've established that she wins only when she has successfully qualified herself to you. You are both judge and prize.

3) The accusation should be something that, if true, disqualifies her from being a sex partner or girlfriend.

This is the push in the push-pull dynamic. An effective push makes a girl believe (if only superficially) that something she wants is getting farther away, and she must give chase if she ever hopes to have it. Girls want to have sex with and be the girlfriends/wives of dominant attractive men, so your push should disqualify her from these two things.

• Tell the whore carrying an armload of Coach, Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, Tory Burch, and Yves Saint-Laurent shopping bags that you could obviously NEVER trust her to balance your joint bank account.

• Tell the slut who's begging for attention in the short skirt that her comprehensive discourse on anarcho-syndicated commune economics is too controversial for you to ever consider sleeping with her.

• Tell the well-read, smarmy, pseudo-intellectual classical-lit booknerd bitch that she could learn a thing or two from reading the sex tips column in Cosmo - and no cheating with Cliff Notes.

Bitches know that sex is the only real tool they have for keeping a man's attention. Tangled deep within their personal labyrinth of insecurities, they all KNOW this. That's why the less urgently you seem to push towards sex, the more confused and intrigued she will be. In the mind of a woman, confusion and intrigue are sexual hydrazine primed to send your dickrocket on a tour of her inner rings.

4) Be aware of your surroundings to avoid pre-emptively activating her defenses.

Regular people (i.e. people who don't come to the Red Pill for fucking dating advice like we losers) know instinctively that when a man sexually teases a woman, he wants to see her naked. This will backfire on you if you try to make a move in mixed company. "Mother hens", friends of hers that you haven't yet won over, boyfriends, and jealous beta orbiters will move to throw a wrench in your carnal designs, and they'll do it with a vulgarity that's nigh impossible to recover from gracefully - a punishment for your presumptuous gaffe.

If you are in such mixed company and you find yourself with an tantalizing opportunity to neg a bitch, dial back your tease to something NON-SEXUAL in nature. The other rules for negging still apply, but cutting out the sex angle will give you a measure of plausible deniability from interceptors, yet still provide you with the superiority and DGAF position you need when the time comes for the real sexual escalation. Save your sexy negs for when the group is comfortable with you, or when you've isolated the bitch.

5) Turn a successful tease into a long game.

There are two common signs that your tease has struck gold:

1. The bitch will respond with frantic amused denial as she tries (in her delighted disorientation) to ease you into a frame less tingle-inducing.
2. The bitch will respond with keen purposeful escalation, agreeing and amplifying your accusations in the clear direction of mutual seduction.

If it's case number 1, you'll be captain of this mission from start to finish, so take charge and steer it. If it's case number 2, then your fucking job is done already. Move to isolation when the time is right and shoot your abortion into her.

Either way, once you land a successful tease, you needn't go digging for more unless the bitch needs some more warming. If that's the case, make your next tease related somehow to the first, and compound her two medium sized "flaws" into one big disqualifying whopper.

Then, take whatever invented character flaw you've disqualified her for and turn it into a running gag that you reintroduce throughout your interactions with her. Let it become a private in-joke between you and her, a shared experience around which you can stir up memories of good feelings and build a deepening comfort which is critical for seduction.

Execution: Make your teases patently-absurd accusations that disqualify her from ever being your lover or girlfriend. You initialize the game (fun), you set the frame with her as the pursuer (you are judge and prize), you create a push-pull dynamic to keep her reeling and feeling (drama), you keep the subject on sex (as a preamble to later events in the evening, provided she impresses you), and you make your intentions clear as day (no creep, all stud).

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Teasing in the Larger Context

So, now you know the lowdown of how to tease bitches. With enough practice, you'll mix these principles into your own persona to create a surefire strategy for priming new lays.

But like many aspects of the Red Pill, teasing isn't all about giggling girls and early-morning underwear hunting. It has greater significance when you consider it in a larger context.

Teasing is a type of qualification. It's a strategy for enforcing your standards on women as a way of judging and filtering them. It's not the only way to enforce your standards, merely the method of choice when dealing with women specifically.

There are other, special methods for qualifying and categorizing men, depending on what function they will have in your life. The same frame of mind that you use to filter bitches will also aid you in filtering friends, allies, business partners, and even competitors. A strong, responsible man pursues happiness through thoughtful, critical choices of his social connections.

Take some time and think about the ways in which you qualify and categorize new potential friends. What makes a man a good friend? Or a good business partner? What makes a man trustworthy or untrustworthy? Could you break down your filtering process for men, the way I've done for bitches here today? In what ways do you presently enforce your standards? In what ways could you stand to improve?

These are all important questions for you to consider in the long term, because sustainable happiness depends on your ability to filter a good social network.

But that's the long term. For now, take the night off. Go forth, and let your teasing stir a chorus of giggles audible in the Halls of Vajhalla, where the brave may slay forever.