Now before the break,we saw how Donald Trump obsessed

over the physical appearanceof Miss Universe.

Reportedly calling herMiss Piggy,

uh, which many peoplewere not impressed by,

including the actual Miss Piggy,

who was like, "Oh, I didn't hearyou complaining

when you were tapping this,Donald."

Uh, now to be...that-that's not fair.

Miss Piggy would neverhave sex with Donald.

I'm sorry, Miss Piggy.

Now, to be totally fair,

it-it's common for peoplein many fields to be held

to high standardsof fitness and beauty.

And not just in, you know,a Miss Universe Pageant.

Obviously, women face a lot morescrutiny in that department,

but even my contractfor this show

says that I'm not allowedto have certain things.

Like, I'm not allowed to rockmy trademark soul patch, right?

Uh, yeah, because apparentlyit tested badly with millenials,

uh, and baby boomersand single women,

and married women,um, and minorities,

and white people, and men,and children, uh, and animals.

But still,I miss you every day, patchy.

Uh, but even if, even ifyou grant that point.

The thing we are learningevery day about Donald Trump,

is that he doesn'tjust treat beauty pageants

like beauty pageants.

In fact, during the campaign,he treated his fellow candidates

like they were runningfor Miss President.

This year Secretary Clintonbecame the first woman nominated

for president by a major party.

Earlier this month,you said she doesn't have,

"A presidential look."

TV REPORTER: The billionaire businessman taking heat

for comments he made about Carly Fiorina

in a Rolling Stone article published yesterday.

Trump reportedly saying, "Look at that face.

Would anyone vote for that?"

Well, it turns out, no. No.

But not because of her face.

There was an endlessbounty of reasons

not to vote for Carly Fiorina

that have nothing to dowith her face.

And this beauty standardof Trumps

isn't just a personal thingwith him, right?

He applies these principles tohis professional life as well.

Here he is on stage explaininghis hiring policy

to a young womanwho has just asked for a job.

-Isn't that horrible?-(laughter)

-WOMAN: Ew. -MAN: Ew.-(people groaning)

-"Ew" is correct.-(laughter)

Experience doesn't matter.

If Trump thinks you're hot,then you're hired.

So I guess nowwe can stop speculating

about what Trump's Supreme Courtwould look like.

(laughter)

Only difference is,no more lifetime appointments.

As 35, you're gone.

But that waitress' appearance

is what Trump is focused on,all right?

Because that's what he does.Every time.

As The Daily Show revealedearlier this year,

this was even the casewhen Trump was asked

about his own one-year-old baby.

Now, Donald, what doesTiffany have of yours,

and what does Tiffany haveof Marla's?

Well, I thinkthat she's got a lot of Marla.

She's a really beautiful baby,and she's, uh...

she's got, um...she Marla's legs.

We don't know whether or not,she's got this part yet,

but time will tell.

(audience groaningand murmuring)

I don't carehow many times you watch that.

-It never stops being creepy.-(laughter)

It's like seeing photographsof dogs wearing pantyhose.

(laughter)

No matter how many timesyou look at it,

it never stops feelinglike you just walked in

on your grandma in the bathroom.

(laughter)

There is no context

in which Trump will notzero in on a woman's looks.

And we discovered a clipthe other day

that exemplifies that perfectly.

It's December 2004,

and America is in a tizzyover a sex scandal

in which a 23-year-old middleschool teacher was arrested

for having sexwith a 14-year-old student.

AKA, a sex crime.

And in an appearanceon a morning radio show,

Donald Trump was kind enoughto share some of his thoughts.

DON IMUS:Yeah. Well...

You know, for a man who'sso pessimistic about America,

about the world,about humanity as a whole,

Donald Trump has a surprisinglyglass-half-full perspective

on adultsbanging middle schoolers.

I mean, wow, is there anythingthat Donald Trump doesn't judge

by how hot the woman is?

God forbid America,under President Trump,

is ever invaded by Sweden.He'd just be like,

"I'm okay with this, folks.Get me a white flag

and a bottle of cologne.We're gonna take it."

And, look, let's be fair--Trump is not alone here.

Many men-- many men and manyadolescent boys, you know--

for them, hooking up withtheir hot teacher was the dream.

Not me, though, becausemy teacher was a giraffe, okay?

-It was a totally differentworld. -(audience laughs)

No, guys, don't laugh,don't laugh, please.

Because this wasthe village's smartest giraffe.

It's not like we justput any old giraffe

in charge of the classroom.Come on, give us some credit.

Africa jokes:

I only say them

because some of youbelieve them.

The point is, a lot of men

probably have the same reactionto this hot teacher story.

But a lot of men also probablyshouldn't be president.

Especially a manwho thinks life itself

is nothing more than a beautycontest where every woman alive

is a participant,whether they want to be or not.

Because let'sbe honest here, folks,

there's only one pigin this whole story.

And it's the onewho got slaughtered

at the debate on Monday.