Small Trumpian Loan for my business

Donald Trump pulled himself up by the bootstraps and all it took was a simple one million dollar contribution from his father.

I'm just looking for my chance at the American dream.

With your million dollars I will:

- Make some sick ass YouTube videos. Like in one I will ride a skateboard into a swimming pool while eating pizza. In another one I will go hang out with some juggalos or other weird people. I will interview trump supporters. I'll do a sweet front flip but land on my back on a trampoline. It'll be sick.

- I'll make a sweet DVD of me doing stand up comedy.

- I'll throw the sickest pizza party it will be dope. All kinds of different pizza and also booze and a DJ that says "are you reaaaaady"

- I will write a book about something funny I dunno what yet but man will it be funny.

- Probably a fair amount of creativity enhancements.

- A house to live in.